Merry's hand strayed down to the button on his trousers, he glanced over at Pippin quickly, he was still sound asleep. Recovering from their guard duty on Isengard. It had been quite a day, Merry had almost felt like he was back in the Shire again, except better, almost, because Pippin had been all his, there was no one around to keep the two from talking to their hearts content. But that was all they had done, talk. And Merry wanted more. Needed more.
He stood up slowly, and descended the rubble pile they'd set up their "base of operations" on. Slipping through the ruins of Isengard, trying his best not to get wet, eventually he found a secluded enough spot and settled down to deal with something that he had needed to do for awhile now.
Sliding his hand down to his quickly awakening cock he brushed against it gently and tried to forget that it wasn't Pippin touching him.
Merry had eventually gotten over the stage where he'd thought his feelings perverse. So what if they were both men? So what if they were even cousins? Merry loved him, loved him so desperately. If he never intended to act on his feelings what difference did it make? At least to the rest of the world, it made all the difference to Merry.
He was stroking faster now, trying his best not to think about what he was doing, why he was doing it. He was caught up enough he didn't even hear the quiet hobbit foot steps behind him.
Pippin had woken up and worried at Merry's vacant spot; he'd wandered off to find his cousin. Stopping dead when he spotted Merry and then trying to force himself to turn around, to pretend he had never woken. But something held him there, he stayed enraptured by the sight, an odd sensation over came him, a warmth spreading slowly from his nether regions followed shortly by a desperate need, for release, for completion. He'd had the feeling before, dozens of times but he never thought that he'd get it from watching Merry. That was very odd.
Merry arched violently and then with a subtle shudder slumped back to the ground. "Pippin," he said quietly and for just a moment Pippin thought he'd been discovered, and then the full brunt of everything that had just transpired hit him. He turned quickly and made his way back to the mound they'd slept on as quietly as he'd come.
*
Pippin tried his best to act natural the next morning, he'd resolved not to talk about what had happened the previous night until he knew what he wanted to say.
Food, pipeweed and most of all drink very quickly loosened his tongue though and the two of them suffered long bouts of silence as Pippin tried desperately to think straight.
The both of them were lying back and staring up the pale blue sky. Merry was telling himself that Pippin's friendship was worth more then anything else they could have and Pippin was trying to figure out what else they could have. Finally he gave in, leaned over and pecked Merry on the lips. At least that's what he'd been intending to do. Merry responded to the kiss immediately though, not giving Pippin a moment to think and quickly deciding himself that he would take what ever he could get and question it later. He caught Pippin's lower lip in his teeth and rolled over, pressing Pippin against the rubble beneath them. He deepened the kiss and gained entrance into Pippin's mouth, slowly exploring every nook and cranny with his tongue
Pippin wasn't sure how to react, he hadn't had nearly as much to time think about this as Merry had and was not at all prepared for Merry's sudden ferocity.
Merry straddled him and busily began undoing his shirt buttons while nibbling on his ear, with fierce and desperate kisses he worked his way down Pippin's neck to his collar bone, Merry ran his tongue languorously along it.
"Merry--" Pippin began, unsure of where this was going and if he wanted it to go there.
Merry ignored him though and with a triumphant growl slid the shirt off Pippin, keeping it bunched around his wrists.
Merry worked his way slowly down Pippin's chest, licking and nipping and kissing, adamantly ignoring Pippin's attempts to talk.
Merry reached Pippin's belly button and paused there to slid his tongue in and out with a few nips for good measure, Pippin thrust upwards with his hips involuntarily, surprised to find himself growing hard. "Merry!" he cried and tried desperately to free his hands from his shirt which was now hopelessly tangled behind his back. He was scared, this was utterly new and intimidating, he needed to take it slower, to figure out what was going on, what they were doing.
Merry continued to ignore him, completely caught up in the fact that he was finally touching Pippin, he savored the moment, working his way back up Pippin's chest to suck on his nipples. Merry's hands went up to Pippin's hair tugging gently compared to the aggression he was showing everywhere else. Pippin moaned, that was almost nice. Then Merry slid even further down until he rested between Pippin's legs. Suddenly Pippin felt Merry's hands on his belt buckle, his struggles redoubled.
"Merry!" Pippin yelled. "Stop!"
Merry started and looked up at Pippin's face, which was filled with fear, although there was a hint of lust in the back of his green eyes. Merry looked at Pippin aghast, horrified at what he'd done. He stood hurriedly and quickly descended the pile of rubble, darting off towards Orthanc.
Pippin struggled up and stared after him, he sat confused for a moment and then leapt up to chase after Merry.
He caught up with him quickly because Merry had stumbled and collapsed to the ground, he was sitting, hunched over up to his chest in water. This time he heard Pippin's approaching footsteps.
Merry curled up even tighter, "I'm sorry," he sobbed, hoping Pippin would leave him alone.
"Merry," Pippin said quietly and settled himself in the water beside him. "Merry," he reached out a hand to place on Merry's shoulder but he flinched away.
"Don't," Merry implored. "I don't know what . . . Didn't think I'd . . . don't."
Pippin stared at him helplessly, he wanted to pull him toward him and tell him it would be alright, but it looked like he'd have to rely on words. He was supposed to be good with words. "Merry, I can't say it was alright, I can't say I didn't mind. I don't know what to say . . . I don't know what to think, I never thought that . . . till last night."
Merry stiffened. "You were there. It was out of pity--"
"No, Merry, that's not it at all. I was curious, I didn't even realize that I . . ."
"Curious," Merry still refused to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry Pippin. Really I am. But please, leave."
"Don't you think we should . . . talk about--?"
"What do you want to say? What do you want me to say? You know now, you know and you don't . . . don't. I swore I'd never tell you, I didn't want you to feel . . . pressured. But now I have, and I can't take it back. I'm sorry." Merry seemed to curl up tighter with every word.
Pippin wanted so badly to hug him. "What do you want?"
"You," Merry forced himself to look up, his brilliant blue eyes made even brighter with tears. "I want everything about you." He almost smiled. "I love you, Pippin."
"I . . ." Pippin began.
"No. Don't. I'm not sure I can believe you."
Pippin stared down at his hands, he wasn't sure he could believe himself. He had never felt more confused in his life.
The two of them sat in silence, until finally Pippin looked over at Merry again. "Can we take it slow?" he asked.
Merry tried again to smile, "A Took wants to take things slow?"
"Don't worry, I'll catch up."
Merry stared at him, searching his eyes for any sign of guilt, or untruth. Pippin allowed himself to be scrutinized. He had to prove to Merry that he trusted him, even after what had just happened, because he did. He doubted that would ever change.
"You sure?" Merry asked at last, he knew Pippin was, but still he had to ask.
Pippin nodded, "I do love you, you know." Pippin leaned in for a kiss, it was gentle, careful and slow.