You're special, Liara. I want you to know that.

.

A/N: Just felt like starting a Liara-story... maybe it helps with that damn writer's block...
.

"The major has become very... capable."

.

"That he has," Shepard agreed after a quick sideglance, the tone in her voice troubling Liara more than it should have... But before either one of them could say anything more, Kaidan's voice made them both turn their heads in his direction.

"Shepard! I found something."

Shepard immediately hurried out of the room near the tram station, oblivious to Liara's thoughtful gaze before the asari turned back to the terminal she had been working on, trying to get at least some information out of it and, more importantly, to give her something to do to put the unsettling feeling she'd gotten aside, for at least a little while...

Sure, their first meeting only a couple of hours ago had been brief and they hadn't had time to talk yet (Kaidan and the Cerberus troops had made sure of that), but Liara started to worry that the joyful feeling she'd gotten at seeing Shepard for the first time after six months might not have been mutual...


"Easy there, Lieutenant. She's with us."

The sound of Shepard's familiar voice sent a shiver of anticipation down Liara's spine and she quickly turned away from the two dead Cerberus Assault Troopers she'd just shot. "Shepard! Thank the goddess you're alive!"

Just then, Liara realized what Shepard and her squad must have seen her doing only seconds ago, and, surprised by the sudden embarassment she felt, she lowered her gaze. No one was supposed to see how easy it had gotten for her to kill, especially not Shepard...

Liara paused. After all, it was Shepard she was worried about... Shepard, the 'Butcher of Torfan'... Shepard, who'd never missed the opportunity to push mercenaries out of windows, shoot her enemie's hostages and, worst of all, didn't seem to be able to steer a vehicle without hitting at least one of the planet's inhabitants in the process... Liara still remembered her own remark about humanity's violent reputation as Shepard had (accidentally, as she'd assured the asari afterwards) run over a pyjak during one of their missions together all those years ago...

And still, whenever she'd been around Liara, the asari had always wondered how those stories could be true when the woman in front of her was smiling warmly at her throughout all their conversations on the old Normandy, always seeming eager to do whatever it took to make Liara feel welcome, to protect her... She still suspected Ashley's attempt to start an argument with her to be the main reason why Shepard had left her on Virmire, but that would have been too cruel, even for Shepard... wouldn't it?

Risking a quick, hesitant glance and noticing Shepard's gleaming eyes (and scars) as she approached her, Liara exhaled. The commander almost seemed proud of what she'd just seen... Of course... Liara sighed, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She had the same expression on her face the first time we met on Illium right after I'd threatened that contact...

"You too, Liara." Shepard's hands in hers felt like they'd always belonged there, which, for Liara at least, they did, bringing her back to reality immediately.

"I was so worried when the reports came in," Liara spoke softly before averting her eyes once again. "I'm... sorry about Earth."

Their closeness was interrupted far too soon by Kaidan who stepped forward, a sad expression on his face as he took it upon himself to answer. "Yeah. It was hard to leave like that."

Liara turned her head towards the interrupter, slightly irritated by Shepard's choice of companions. "Kaidan. I'm sorry." And before any more questions could arise in her, she turned away, adressing Shepard again. "But... why'd you come here?"

"Hackett ordered us to come. Said you'd know what was going on."

A slight smile appeared on Liara's face as she turned. "I do," she said over her shoulder while she approached the window nearby, showing the large building that held the Prothean Archives and the tramway leading there.

Kaidan shot a quick sideglance at Shepard whose eyes were glued to Liara's back, the effect of her motion (intentional or not) obviously not lost on the commander. His eyes narrowed shortly before he followed Shepard and James.


"What have you got?" Shepard's voice rang out from outside the door.

Liara shut her eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath before she tried again to focus on the information in front of her. She'd always been able to distract herself by surrounding herself with all the data on the Shadow Broker base. She even remembered searching the extranet to calm herself whenever she'd been nervous on the old Normandy, but for some strange reason, it didn't seem to help her now...


"I meant to come see you, but..." Lost for words as she felt Shepard's eyes on her, Liara's voice trailed of. To her great relief, a smile spread across Shepard's face only seconds later. Goddess, how does she manage to make me weak in the knees every time she does that?

"I would have liked that," Shepard started. "But under the circumstances... I think I can forgive you." She playfully approached Liara, who'd gotten used to Shepard's teasing by now without having to fear she'd offended the commander once again.

"You're too kind."


"I'm with you, Shepard. I've always been with you." Kaidan's voice got through the memories clouding Liara's mind. She started rubbing her temples, trying not to read too much into his tone and at the same time trying not to analyze every word she and Shepard had exchanged in those past hours...


"Stopping the Reapers is the only thing we should be focused on. It's not your fault."

"But what if we're wrong?" Liara spoke out what had worried her for a while now. "What if there's no way to stop them? What if these are our last days and we spend them scurrying around trying to solve a problem we can't fix?" Instead of spending them with the ones we love? A slight blush appeared on her cheeks at her naive thought.

"Liara..."

"I know. I shouldn't think that way." She pushed herself off the desk she'd been leaning on and faced Shepard. Needing the offered reassurance as she noticed Shepard's sincere expression, she admitted, "I don't know how you do it. You've always stayed focused, even in the worst situations." Liara turned her head to the side, evading Shepard's eyes. There she was, worrying about their future, doubting it even, while she was standing in front of the woman who was doing everything in her power to prevent those fears from becoming reality...

"When there's so much at stake, I think about my friends, loved ones..." Liara felt Shepard's gloved hand on her cheek, making her heart skip a beat. "What I'd lose if I failed."

After needing a moment to contemplate Shepard's words, she smiled. "Me too."

"We'll stop them, Liara. Together."


Liara sighed. This was pointless... She shut down the terminal and pushed herself off the desk, turning towards the door nearby.

"Think they bought it?"

"If they didn't, they'll figure it out soon enough," Shepard answered Kaidan's question with a sarcastic smile just as Liara joined them outside. Maybe a fight would help clear her head... Or at least distract her long enough...

. . .

"I got this one!" James' voice came through the comm in Shepard's helmet. All their heads turned as they saw the Normandy's shuttle speeding towards the hovering Cerberus shuttle Dr. Eva had just jumped in with the stolen data, and forcefully crashing into it only seconds later. The Cerberus' shuttle pilot immediately lost control over his aircraft and it started uncontrolledly speeding right towards them.

"Oh for the love of... Get down!" Shepard turned to her squad, but all they could do in the short time it took for the burning shuttle to crash to the ground was diving out of its immediate impact radius. After a loud crash, the shuttle came to a slithering halt.

The wind of the approaching storm was the only sound for a while before the roar of James' shuttle flying over the crash site jolted Shepard back into action. She quickly crawled to her feet and scanned her surroundings. Liara! was her first thought as she saw the asari lying near the crashed shuttle. She dutifully checked on Kaidan first, who was lying closer to her, but was waved off as she approached him. Fine, Mr. I'm-a-big-soldier-now...

Feeling her anger rise, she harshly turned towards the still circling shuttle. What's taking him so damn long? she thought while waving the shuttle over so that they could get the hell off this station as quickly as possible and maybe get medical attention for Liara. She turned her attention back to the asari who still wasn't on her feet yet, a worried expression appearing on Shepard's face...


Liara raised her head, feeling a sudden sharp pain shooting through her leg. She momentarily locked eyes with Shepard before James set the shuttle down between them, cutting off her view. As Kaidan bent down near her to pick up the pistol he'd lost, he noticed his team mate and hurried over to her, draping Liara's right arm across his shoulders and pulling her with him towards the waiting shuttle. "We need the data," she spoke against the storm, but before Kaidan could answer, a loud clang made them both turn back towards the crashed Cerberus shuttle. Its door was being tossed aside that moment and Dr. Eva's silhouette appeared in the burning doorway.

Without giving her time to react, Kaidan shoved Liara backwards while he drew his weapon and started firing at the approaching figure. Liara felt herself being pushed against something warm and before she could turn her head, she felt Shepard's arm protectively swing around her, holding her upright.

"Are you okay?" Liara heard Shepard's concerned question next to her ear and nodded. Their moment of closeness didn't last long as both of their eyes widened at the sight in front of them...

Dr. Eva had lifted Kaidan off the ground, his feet dangling helplessly while she was talking to someone over her comm, the roar of the approaching storm making it impossible to hear her words. She seemed to have received her orders shortly after and turned, forcefully smashing Kaidan's head against the nearby shuttle hull.

"No!" Shepard screamed helplessly and after Kaidan's head had hit the hull a second time, she drew her pistol and fired a warning shot to draw the Cerberus agent's attention away from her squad mate. It seemed to have worked, as Dr. Eva immediately dropped Kaidan's lifeless body and turned on her heels, now charging at Shepard who was still holding Liara in her free arm.

Liara closed her eyes and prepared herself to be shoved out of the way again, but all she felt was the recoil as Shepard fired her weapon. After a few quick (and obviously well-aimed) shots, Liara carefully opened her eyes again and was greeted by Dr. Eva's unmoving body only a few feet away from where they were standing. Exhaling in relief, she squeezed Shepard's arm once before freeing herself from the commander's hold and nodding towards Kaidan's body.

After a quick sideglance to reassure herself that Liara was able to stand on her own, Shepard nodded and run towards her team mate, throwing his lifeless body over her shoulder and turning to the just landed Normandy where James and Liara were already waiting for her on the exit ramp.

. . .

"Kaidan needs medical attention." Liara leaned forward on the bed in the Med Bay, where Shepard had just placed Kaidan's bruised body, trying to force Shepard to look into her eyes that way. It was the only thing she could think of to say to get the commander's attention. Shepard's eyes were still on the body in front of her as she stared at his bruised face in disbelief. "We have to leave the Sol system," Liara implied, leaning in even closer, her tone finally bringing Shepard back to reality.

"I know," came Shepard's weak response.

Liara's expression immediately softened. "The Citadel is our best chance. We can find help there," she reassured her, still slightly concerned about the fact that Shepard refused to look at her.

"Get us to the Citadel, Joker," Shepard ordered before her attention was back on her wounded squad mate. "Hold on, Kaidan," she whispered softly.

Liara involuntarily winced at Shepard's tone as the commander sternly ordered, "See what you and EDI can learn from that thing." Nodding towards Dr. Eva's body on a nearby bed. She felt a short, sharp sting in her chest at Shepard's sudden cold behavior but did as she was told while Shepard still refused to look up. This was not the time for jealousy...


Liara gave a short, sad laugh. She was standing by the terminal in her office, trying to concentrate on the schematics they had of the Crucible, but she couldn't stop her mind from going back to Shepard's emotional reaction to Kaidan's injury. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't help being concerned it might affect their relationship. If one could still call it that, anyway... Maybe she'd just always assumed, Shepard would stay with her forever. Maybe it had made her blind to some signs indicating otherwise... She shook her head.


"Commander?"

They were standing in the Normandy's War Room after Shepard had finished her first briefing with Admiral Hackett. Liara could tell every time Shepard's mind drifted off and it had been quite the challenge for her to jolt Shepard out of her grim thoughts every time to make her at least leave the Comm Room. So far, they'd only made it into the next room and Shepard wasn't making it easy on Liara to give her the kind of solace she'd received from the commander back on Mars...

Shepard turned her head, her attention momentarily back on Liara once more. The tired look on Shepard's face made Liara irresolutely wring her hands as she continued. "Isn't it worth trying at least?" she offered.

Shepard stared at her blankly for a while before she turned away. "I'm gonna check on Kaidan and James," she announced, leaving Liara behind in the empty War Room.


Liara exhaled deeply, rubbing her temples once again before she shut down the terminal and left her office, heading for the elevator. Whatever the reasons for her behavior, Shepard needed someone right now. And before the new Comm Specialist could get any ideas, Liara would go check on the commander herself...

"Liara believes it can work and so do I." Shepard's words, accompanied with her reassuring smile, during their meeting with the council ran through Liara's mind once more while she was waiting for the elevator to reach Shepard's cabin floor. She had started to wring her hands again as a sudden nervousness had already replaced her previous determination...


Great, I'm on my first mission after six months and I already manage to almost lose one of my squad... Shepard grabbed the bottle of Peruvian Whiskey she'd bought at Huerta Memorial (which she'd actually intended to give Kaidan as soon as he'd wake up) and poured herself another drink. Under the circumstances, she'd decided, she could use the liquor more than her injured team mate right now... It was my responsibility and I blew it... It's my damn fault! She sighed, downing her drink. And on top of that, I end up being the one that has to carry his ass back to the ship. She huffed. It's like Virmire all over again... Damn it, my back hurts!

A sound at her door made Shepard raise her head. She set the glass down on her desk, contemplated it for a second, took another sip (she had just filled the glass again, after all...) and got up. As the door opened, she was greeted by the sight of a nervous Liara, still struggling with the question if coming up here had been the right choice...

"Shepard, I... We... didn't have time to talk but... if you..." She was cut off as Shepard took a step forward and wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm glad you're here," she whispered near Liara's ear. Liara exhaled in relief and a smile spread across her face as she tightened their embrace. Shepard sighed. "And I am so sorry!"

. . .

With a gasp, Shepard shot up in her bed, the image of the boy being consumed by the flames still vivid. A warm arm was draped over her stomach, preventing her from entirely sitting upright. She turned her head and was greeted by Liara's peaceful face, her eyes still closed and her breathing even. Shepard carefully lifted the asari's arm off her midsection and turned to the other side of the bed, burying her head in her hands and trying to erase the memory of her nightmare.

She heard movement behind her and only seconds later felt a hand on her back. "Are you all right?" Liara's soft voice made her turn again, the concerned look on the asari's face making it impossible for her to force a reassuring smile and so she nervously ran a hand through her hair.

"I didn't get what you'd call a good night's rest," she admitted while sinking back into the pillows and Liara's arms.

"There's more to it than that, isn't there? What's really bothering you?" Liara propped up her head in her hand while she lazily drew circles across Shepard's stomach with the index finger of her free hand.

Shepard sighed. "When the Reapers hit... I could hear people screaming in the streets below me." She averted her eyes. "We left a lot of them behind."

Liara's finger stopped momentarily and then snaked its way up to Shepard's cheek. "There's no way for you to save them all," she said, forcing Shepard to look at her. "But I know you're doing everything you can, and you'll get back there in time to help."

"I hope you're right."

Liara leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Shepard's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, Commander," she whispered.

Shepard turned to the side, facing Liara fully, a cautious smile on her lips. "I'm glad you're back." She leaned in to capture Liara's lips with hers, closing her eyes.

'You can't help me...'

Shepard withdrew, rubbing her forehead as she sank back into the pillows and sighed. "There was this boy..." She started after a pause, but immediately seemed to regret her words, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm sorry... forget it."

As Liara looked up again, she noticed Shepard's pained expression, even though the commander seemed to try her hardest not let it show on her face. She nodded, more to herself, and ran a hand through Shepard's hair. She didn't even have to guess what must have caused Shepard to wake up in the middle of the night, and knowing that she might be able to at least ease Shepard's mental pain, she whispered, "I want you to show me the dream..."


A/N: Heh, shouldn't every story start with a little jealousy? :) Don't worry, the next chapters should be happier, I just wanted to write it from Liara's perspective 'cause even I was surprised at Shepard's cold behavior towards her... I kinda felt like I owed it to her for being there for three games... oh, and for that "I do"-turn she does in the game... Thanks for that, Liara, made my day :)
On another note: I know that asari don't have eyebrows, but I'll still use that word instead of 'marking shaped like an eyebrow' (it's shorter :) )
In case you wonder, I'll stick as close to the game as possible, might rearrange some scenes, but when I quote the actual game, I just want to make sure, I quote it right (I'm not just too lazy to come up with my own dialogues... :) )
It also looks like that pyjak-story will haunt Shepard forever... :) I'll definitely add its origin to a ME1 story...
I guess that's it for the moment. Let me know what you think...