A Dinner of Romance
One day while picking mushrooms to feed to a flower in order to grow big, Alice fell into a ditch. There she found a rabbit named Timothy that offered to grant her three wishes in exchange for a brain. But because Alice wasn't a zombie toting around a lunchbox, she didn't have any brains to spare. So she rolled out of the ditch and frolicked through some kind of industrial waste facility known as the Wonderland Dump.
But she must've taken a wrong turn at the toxic sewage because she wound up at the county zoo. Now, unlike the city zoo which is filled with peanuts, crying babies, and rotting fish heads—the county zoo is filled with racist crows.
"I ain't never seen an elephant!" said one stereotypically black crow.
"I ain't never done gone seen that there thing neither, boy!" said another really racist depiction of the crows.
"I ain't ne'er heard no word called ain't be'ore!" ain'ted another crow.
Alice stopped in front of the power line where the crows were dangling and decided to have her lunch break. She took a bite of the mushrooms she had in her little basket and she grew super big. Her support snapped off and a fruit vendor bicycled by hawking watermelons only to get derailed by the sight. He subsequently crashed into the nearby transformer, blowing up himself and toasting the crows.
"Oh dear!" exclaimed Alice. She fretted what to do when she heard a seductive whistled coming from a nearby cage. Looking over yonder, she spied a gender-ambiguous elephant making goo-goo eyes at her.
"Oh my!" exclaimed Alice as she struggled with an oncoming blush.
Dumbo the gender-ambiguous elephant blew his trunk and beckoned the enlarged maiden closer to his cage. Alice stalked over closer, teasing Dumbo with another mushroom. She could barely move because she was so full and big, but she managed to shimmy next to the bars of the cage. When she was within trunks-reach, Dumbo snatched the mushroom from Alice's hands and slowly, deliberately fed it into her mouth. They both blushed like mad and giggled with excitement.
But just as Alice was chewing the mushroom, a radical genius fell from the sky and crushed her.
"Ooh-lah-lah!" exclaimed radical Edward. "This soft mountain of pillows saved Ed from going splat!"
Edward pinched and squeezed the "pillows" before hopping to her bare feet and strutting over to the basket of mushrooms. "Oohh! Faye-Faye can fill her tummy with these!" Ed picked up the basket and sang a little song as she started to skip away. But just then, the gender-ambiguous elephant caught her eye. Ed's tummy growled and she started to drool.
Several hours later, the crew aboard the Bebop was sitting down to eat a delicious elephant and mushroom lunch. Meanwhile, Roo found a Pooh stick lodged somewhere in Alice's remains and promptly returned it to the Fellowship of the Pooh.
The End.