Secrets of the Castle

Written for Miranda Nickolas' Who done it? Competition on the HPFC forum.

A/N: This story was inspired by the song 'Discombobulate' from the movie 'Sherlock Holmes'. It's a theme that would fit the Marauders perfectly!

Everyone beware: detective James and Sirius are out there!

"I bet it was Snape," said Sirius.

"Surprising. I didn't see that one coming," Remus answered in an annoyed voice.

The fourth year Gryffindors who called themselves the Marauders were currently laying on their beds, discussing the latest events at Hogwarts.

Yesterday, when they'd visited Remus in the hospital ward the morning after his transformation, a strange thing had happened. A Ravenclaw girl, who'd gone in shock after she'd eat something wrong during breakfast, had been brought in by three teachers. A Hufflepuff boy and a Ravenclaw boy followed suit. And it only took five minutes for another Ravenclaw, three Hufflepuffs and four Gryffindors to be laid on the beds in critical condition. Madam Pomfrey was still doing everything she could to help them.

After further investigation, it appeared that the fried eggs had been poisoned. Nobody knew who'd done it, or why it was done.

"Who else can it be?" asked James. "Not one Slytherin was poisoned. Don't you think that's a bit odd? It has to be Snivellus!"

"There appear to be more Slytherins than just Snape," Remus continued.

"But Snivellus is best at potions," Sirius objected. "So he's most likely to have brewed the poison."

"Just admit that you want him to be blamed for it. It's most unlikely he's done it."

"Remus's got a point," Peter said suddenly, and the three pair of eyes in the room fixed on him. "Snape can't have done it. To poison the food you have enter the kitchen. Do you really think Snape can figure out the password?"

James and Sirius grinned. "Pete, that's a Marauder's mind," James said.

"So if you believe Peter, who's done it then?" Remus asked.

"Snape."

"But you just said –"

"He must have given it to someone else who is able to enter the kitchens."

"Are you serious?" Remus said. "Oh no, don't go for the pun!"

"Oh, c'mon. Don't spoil the fun by denying me that pun," Sirius moaned.

"Are you becoming a poet?" James asked with a grin.

"Nah, I'm just good at everything," Sirius shrugged, causing James to throw his pillow at his best friend.

Then, Peter decided to interrupt the war that was about to start. "Guys, who's done it now? If Snape brew the poison and gave it so someone else, who was the one to put it in our breakfast then?"

"SNIVELLUS!" James and Sirius yelled in unison.

Remus buried his face in his hands. "You two are impossible," he groaned. "Do you really plan on becoming aurors?"

"Yes."

"Definitely."

Remus shook his head, before noticing his watch. "Shoot, we'll be late for class again."

And because they wanted to keep their number of detentions at a reasonable level (forty a month was enough), James, Sirius and Peter followed him out of their dorm.

The corridors of Hogwarts were as crowded with students as always. But this time, the only thing they seemed to talk about was the poisoning of the students.

"Should we inform Minnie it was Snivie?" Sirius asked.

"No," Peter said immediately. "You'll only get us another detention. She'll think we're biased."

"If you could find any evidence, you could tell her, but since you don't have anyth–" Remus began, but he was cut off by James.

"The evidence we'll find."

"We'll save this school from the injustice of unpunished crimes!" Sirius agreed.

And grinning, the two black haired turned around and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Remus called after them. "What about class?"

James looked over his shoulder. "Duty calls."

Remus stared at their backs until they vanished behind a corner. "Do you think one of these two will ever get a girl?" he asked Peter.

"Not a chance. Unless the girl is nuts."