This is another twisted story starting around the end of the 'Do you know who I am' story. A very dead Harry Potter twice over is in the middle of girl heaven. A sequel if you wish, reading previous story is recommended. Lots of character bashing, character death and not book compliant. Rated M for language at least. No Slash.
This is defiantly Mature so be pre-warned this hero is chasing everything in skirts that's of age. With 670,000 HP stories out there I have probably stepped on someone's toes, for that I apologize. I am having fun and it's addicting, so on with my attempt at writing or scribbling in my case. You get it as I write it and it's as fast as I can put the words down on the screen.
If you look past my grammar etc, you may find a story, then maybe not. This will contain lot of character bashing, character death and not book compliant.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit but at least I can give it away.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^The continued life of Vince Jones^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Chapter 1—Is this for real?
I am Vince Jones and I have always been Vince Jones but then something weird happened. I either had a nightmare or a mental breakdown, what happened can't be true. The mental break down is not in the cards, I hope. Why? Well three unexplainable things. First I don't wear glasses and when I woke from my nightmare, where I wore glasses, there on my night stand were the glasses. The second thing is really spooky. My nightmare made me a magical wizard who could do magic. As laughable as all this is I was just going to tick it off as another realistic Dream. Who could I ask and not end up under psychiatric care? Joking with myself I wiggled my finger and said "Hocus Pocus" and the pants from across the room flew into my hands. I have a problem.
I'm real but was the dream real or did it really happen? Is my subconscious trying to tell me I am possibly more than me? The third thing I don't remember anything about in any life and that is a ring on my pinky with a black stone. Well I may try this magic in private but I am me and I have work. I must attend my job for money to eat and pay for this apartment and my gazillion bills.
Work is really a drag. Its pays way better than my civilian counter part, almost by double. Of course a have a supervisor that is so dumb he couldn't tell the time of day if a clock fell on him. He is right now on the beach. In our line of work being on the beach means relieved of duty without pay although the beach was preferable to our work. Stupid supervisor stored our excess federal ammo improperly in his personal garage. He didn't want it stored in the secure room at work. Why gave me a laugh. I was the only one who had the combination to the door and the alarm. Never demean yourself and have to ask someone below you for something that you couldn't control. He also had to register with the airport that had control of the alarm system and pay for the change. He was not liked by them either.
The replacement supervisor was even worse. She had it out for me because I told her she had to be at work on time in case something came up. You know small things like authorizing an arrest of a drug smuggler or putting a suspect in the hospital. Hospital was when you suspected a person so they were to be given medicine to cause them to expel the balloons full of drugs. You know minor things like that. In the end she was out to get me fired or put me in the big dodo pile.
We were a small shop we only had ten workers. The place was just out of range of having a larger shop doing our work and making us redundant. The closest shop had two-hundred and fifty personnel doing the same work but more of it. Now in our work was the requirement to do certain things. Isn't that a surprise? One thing was to check the computer for something's. Sorry classified. That required a password that each person was required to keep current. One night super supervisor wants the program run. This was not in my area of responsibilities. It ended up that I was the only person in the shop that had a current password which included the supervisor that had asked. I was now in trouble with half the shop and the supervisor for doing their job.
This insanity continued and I was bordering on resigning. With a Government job, you resign now and get retirement at sixty-five. Then I almost got in a position where they could terminate me. Why? One of the girls wanted to go to lunch and could I just monitor the system so she could go. I wasn't authorized access to that system but she gave me her sweet smile and fluttering eyes and the password so she could go. Viola , I now have access. Buddy could you watch my system here is the password I have a hot date and have to get there. Viola, another system I am not supposed to have access to. Now beyond the government saying I can't have access I have access and am finding a lot of bad guys and girls using the three systems. One case I make gets the attention of everyone and it is obvious that I have knowledge I shouldn't have and the supervisor leaps. She wants me to expose myself as a violator of security rather than a guy helping out a co-worker or a great crook catcher. She is looking for the at-a-boy and another undeserved promotion.
I call it a stick in their eye and called in sick the next day. She made a federal case out of it even though there was nothing she could do. The rules be damned she wants what she wants not what the rules say.
I was now at the end of my legal three days of sick leave. I was either going to get a doctors excuse to stay out longer or report to work. Oh I was sick, I was sick of her! On the way to work I stopped to renew my lottery tickets and… "I don't believe it"… my salvation, a miracle, I hit the lottery, millions even. OH! Fates I could kiss you!
I had wanted to chase down my dream but I had no money. I wanted to find out if any of those dreams were real but no money. I would soon have a pile of cash and I was going to see if people and places in my nightmare were real or just a dream. England here I come, well whenever they give me the coin from hitting the lottery. First things first, I stopped at my office and typed a letter of resignation to drop in the mail to headquarters. The supervisor was screaming for me to report to her office. I report to her face and with the other workers watching told her that she was an idiot and could take this job and shove it up her…
/Scene Break/
I landed in England and grabbed a cab to London and Charing Cross Road. It was there and so was the Leaky Cauldron. Weird I thought but also it gave me a chill.
I entered and Tom said hello and I sat at the bar and chatted while I ate the days special. It was the best way to pick up what's going on in the magical world. Tom knew when someone sneezed in the Alley. At least that was what I remembered from my dream.
"I've been out of the country for awhile and quite inaccessible so fill me in what's been going on." My accent of course gave me away as an American but there are plenty of Americans in England.
"Tell you the truth Vince it's been a real crazy upside down world since Harry Potter died."
"How's that Tom?"
"Well Dumbledore explained it as Potter killed the Dark Lord before the building collapse. Course they never found either one of them when the dug the place up. Well the Dark Lord is back but Dumbledore is not explaining it very well. Course the new ministry is trying to get established after that disaster. People have lost hope now that the chosen one is dead. Nice kid that Potter, he even stayed here once. The Dark Lord is out killing and trying to take over everything just as he did before."
"Well thanks for the update Tom I need to check out the Alley so I will…"
"Tom my usual, and who are you young man?" Albus Dumbledore had arrived.
I was not happy with this person in or out of a dream. His eyes lit up when he saw me, just for a fraction of a second, but then he went to his normal twinkle.
Names Vince and you are?
"Just call me Albus."
"Well I best be getting into the alley…"
"I don't believe I have seen you around Vince. But you must be magical as you are able to enter the Leaky Cauldron,"
"I believe the word you are looking for is squib."
"So what brings you to England or are you working here?
"I'm in-between jobs and taking a short vacation." I really wanted into the alley but he kept asking questions and making it rude of me to just leave.
"So you have no magic? You wouldn't be interested in a job as a Muggle Studies Professor at Hogwarts would you?"
"I don't have any teaching credentials."
"Oh that's not a problem. We need someone who knows how muggles live, I'm afraid our last professor was about a hundred years out of date."
Now I know he is on to me, he remembers me when he zapped me into Harry Potter the last time. There is of course the statement "Keep you friends close and keep your enemies closer.
"Yes Albus I could use a job and teaching muggle studies would be a great chance to hang around England for a while."
"Then I will see you the third week of August. Tom can tell you how to get there. I however have a meeting at the Ministry I must attend." He left with my mind semi confused mind and with a lot of possibilities to concider.
I was glad that no one was around as I tapped the stones with my finger. I then entered the Alley thought the arch.
The walk to Gringotts gave me some time to think and ask myself a lot of dumb questions. The most prevalent one was what the hell was I doing here, which was followed by why am I staying here? Myself answered me, "Curiosity". I am/was a law enforcement officer and trained to spot inconsistencies and bad guys. Putting it as nice as I could Albus Dumbledore was as crooked as they came. Knowing what I know I was curious, could I louse up his plans? Then there always was that sweet word, Revenge.
I entered Gringotts, "By any chance is Ragnok available I need a test on who I am." That sounded lame even to me. I got to Ragnok's office and he did the test.
GREAT LORS!"
Ragnok appeared to have gone speechless and just handed the parchment to me to read.
It showed that I was Vince Jones, Harry Potter, Mike Areon and Lord Aragorn. I was also the heir to Gryffindor, Slytherin and Peverell. Well so much for nightmares coming true as mine was batting close to a hundred percent. Well at least I didn't catch on fire this time.
Since he was so speechless I launched into my tail after I died. "So as crazy as it sounds your test shows me doing all this dream for real. How and why I did all this… I have no idea, time travel, maybe? What I don't understand is I seemed to have traveled ahead in time but back in time to get my body?
"Mr. Jones that is a fantastic tale and I wouldn't believe it but for that parchment in your hand. We have no interest except for the vaults you may claim and the gold they contain. The final test is right here." Ragnok slid the box containing the Potter House ring. I had it on before he could say a word more and I was accepted by the ring. The Slytherin ring did the same.
"We here at Gringotts are satisfied as who you are, I assume you wish this to remain a secret?"
"Yes please. Is the place over the Tinkers Shop still mine?
After a quick opening of a huge book Ragnok confirmed ownership of the property.
"If you will put up whatever wards you can." We made a time for the Goblins to put up the wards and contracted the renovation and furnishing of the apartment in Hogsmeade village. I was beginning to see that my nightmare was not a dream but what I am finding was everything is just a little off a little from what I remembered.
I loaded up on Galleons and stepped out of Gringotts and across the street was the entrance to Knockturn Alley. I couldn't go to Olivander's for a wand, I had told Dumbledore I was a squib, so I was now checking out Knockturn Alley for a number shops.
"Best wands in these parts regardless what anybody else says. Each wand made individually for the customer." The old guy kept grumbling the whole time I was there. He did seem to know what he was doing. I just wanted to see how much magic I had and if I could use it. I was feeling confident as I left the wand shop with a jet black wand.
I ended up in Gringotts twice more that day as I had robes to buy along with school things and there was the ice cream shop that I fondly remembered.
I had just purchased a nice chocolate ice cream cone and was headed for the patio when with my mind in my many thoughts I walked right into Tracey Davis, so did my ice cream cone.
"Oh hell, I'm sorry. Let me clean that ice cream off your… ah yes… you best do that yourself. Please let me buy you whatever you are having for my stupidity…"
She started laughing and she agreed, so we got into the queue.
"I'm Vince Jones by the way." While I recognized her I figured it best to be the new stranger in town. I had my head trying to figure out so many different things that nothing was making scene.
"Tracey Davis here and I must say that is a novel pick up line you have. I mean ice cream for the girl to wear." She giggled.
"No really, I was thinking of what I need to teach when I get to Hogwarts that I was not watching where I was going."
Well being a teacher got me invited with our ice cream to a table that Daphne was saving. We chatted until Daphne returned and then I got to answer a lot more questions to catch Daphne up on everything previously asked by Tracey.
"So you're going to be the new muggle study professor, you don't look any older that us, you got inside connections?" Daphne asked
That got me thinking just how old was I, twenty-two was how old was when this all started but then I was eleven. I went back to how old in this life? I tried to avoid a direct answer, "I assure you I am of legal age in America."
"So that makes you twenty-one muggle or fourteen magical?" Daphne laughed.
"Tracey!" came a shout as Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott joined the table. I called over the waiter and sprung for a round. Since I was going to stick around for awhile I got Fortiescue's super deluxe banana split for myself. I thought that the age issue was dropped but…
"We're in our last year at Hogwarts and are all seventeen." Daphne continued, "So are you married?"
"Daphne seems taken with the new teacher." Tracey giggled and causing Daphne to turn a nice shade of red.
"I doubt old Dummy is going to let a professor date a student even if they are of legal age." Hannah added.
"I don't know about that." Susan replied, "Besides what he doesn't know won't hurt him."
I figured that I'd best ask that question myself when I went to the meeting at Hogwarts. There was the ethics of being a professor but legal age is still legal. While these girls might just be trying to take the mickey out of a young professor why take the chance. I would rather waiter tables in Hogsmeade and have access to beautiful girls than be a professor and be alone.
pop
"MASTER HARRY WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
"Dobby?"
"Yous dissappeared for so long and Iys couldn't find you." He was hoping up and down.
"I have a room at the Leaky Cauldron, why don't you wait for me there and we can have a nice talk." I was just glad he didn't say Potter in his greetings but here was another oddity. I hadn't even gotten an idea of what to say to the table when a screech sounded and Hedwig dive bombed me at the table. She then landed on the table, gave me a dirty look and stole the cherries from the banana split. She gave me another dirty look and took flight.
The table looked like I was going to have a few questions added to their lists when they stopped laughing. We were interrupted by some boys heading towards us. It gave me another shock and told me whatever was going on was different than my dream as Draco, with Crab and Goyle, had just walked onto the Ice Cream Parlor's patio. Draco's mouth had not changed but his boys had become mini trolls since I last saw them.
"Who's the new pretty boy you girls are ogling?"
"Vince Jones and you are?"
"I'm not talking to you asshole I am talking to the girls."
"Funny little boy aren't you? Take your mouth elsewhere as it already offends me." I stood up as I was never in the mood for a Malfoy running his mouth. The fool was just as mean and arrogant as I remembered but had gotten more aggressive. He drew his wand.
I am glad I am Vince Jones aka nobody. Vince Jones was government trained in hand to hand combat. No superman but somebody normal people did not mess with. I snatched his wand from his hand and broke it with a loud crack. As he reached back to deliver a punch I did something I always wanted to do and punched the little bastard in the nose. Crab and Goyle apparently needed no further orders and charged. Lumbering and dumb are now lying on the ground next to the mouth. I had let Goyle's forward motion, with a minor push from me, to carry him head first into a stone wall and I greeted Crab with an elbow to the face. I just hoped that his face hurt as bad as my elbow. I lucked out as the two passing Aurors had seen the whole thing. They called in help to cart off the three and took statements. The day was shot and the girls headed off, so I headed back to the Leaky Cauldron. I had a chat with Dobby and asked him to stay low key and not do anything unless I asked, not even answer the door. Now if I could get him to stop calling me Master Harry.