You love her, not because you have to but because she turns out to be your best friend. Sure you fight what siblings don't but you know deep down that when you really need them they'll be there, you never for a second stop to think that maybe one day they won't.
Dylan picked up the hot pink teddy bear running a hand over its soft fur before placing it in the box on top of an old Danielle Steel novel. He'd won it for her at the Toronto Street Festival when she was seven. Her eyes had lit up with a glow that would have matched any and every star in the sky. They shined with love and trust so pure and innocent, it had stuck with him years later. She was his sister, his baby sister, and it was his job to make sure she was happy.
"You're being a jerk," she'd said a few years later as she bit into a ripe apple, her elbows poised on top the counter. "Why can't you just cover for me? Tell mom and dad I'm staying at Ashley's to study for some English test."
"Because," Dylan had replied. "I don't think it's a good idea."
"It's just a party." Paige had continued to plead, "Like you've never been to a party."
Dylan sighed, closing his eyes against the headache that had started to form at the back of his neck. Everything inside of him was screaming at him not let her go. "I know guys like him Paige, he's older, and cocky, and I don't trust him."
"Don't you trust ME?" she asked, flashing him those puppy eyes that always managed to make him cave.
"This is such a bad idea," he warned again.
"But you'll cover for me, right?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
Dylan rolled his eyes, tossing the rind of his own apple into the trash can. "But I'll cover for you."
Hours later he'd regret his decision as he heard her hurried footsteps up the stairs and her door lightly shut. Her sobs drifted down the hallway, nearly banging down his own door. Never before had he wanted to strangle someone so badly, never before had he wanted to kill someone.
He'd been there the day Paige had faced her nightmare in court. Sitting in the back of the court room he'd never been more proud of his sister, she faced the bastard face on with dignity and it was on that day that she became his hero.
Dylan wiped at the tear that broke loose and trailed down his cheek. He closed up the box of memories and gathered up the blue index cards with his notes on it. He tucked them into his back pocked and with a final look headed out of Paige's bedroom.
00
The church was packed with family and friends, some Dylan hadn't seen in years. At the front of the church sat Spinner; his face pale, his eyes surrounded by dark circles and bloodshot. Jimmy sat beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. Dylan's heart sank a little. They were supposed to have a happily ever after. "Spinner and Paige tie the knot!" is what the invitation had said. Years of uncertainty and different paths had finally converged on a flight from Toronto to New York. He'd never seen her so happy, he'd never been so happy for her.
He cleared his throat as he took the spot behind the podium.
"She was a shining star," Dylan started, swallowing around the lump in his throat before continuing. "More importantly she was my shining star. I can't imagine life without her. Her presence was an enigma all on its own, bringing smiles and laughs no matter where she was. Paige was a princess and I was lucky to be able to call her my sister."
Dylan scanned the crowd his eyes stopping on the over sized picture of Paige that stood to his right. Her smile jumping off the canvas, her eyes shining like they had when she was five, when the world was new and fresh and nothing bad could happen.
"What happened was a tragedy, one we'll never forget. But Paige wouldn't want us to be sad. Miss her, sure, but not mourn her. She'd want us to laugh, smile, and go on with our lives if only to honor her."
00
The sun had set behind a cloud and the crowd had dispersed an hour earlier but Dylan couldn't bring himself to leave. This was where Paige was, this was where he wanted to be.
"I miss you," he whispered to the breeze.
He shivered as it wrapped around him, almost in a hug, and for a split second he felt his little sister beside him. He could almost hear her voice as a whisper in his ear, "Hun, I swear sometimes you're such a girl."
He chuckled despite himself, because a part of him knew she'd always be with him in some way, shape, or form. The thing about being a big brother is that no matter what fate throws at you, you hold the position for life. A drunk driver may run a red light but your baby sister is always in your heart.