Guess Who Came For Dinner

by dcat

OOOOO

"What are you doing in here?" Hardcastle said as he entered the kitchen.

"Whatta ya mean, what am I doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm doing the dishes, they don't do themselves you know?" McCormick wisecracked as he moved plates, cups and glasses from the counter into the dishwasher. "It's not like you're in any shape to do them anyway," he nodded toward the Judge's sore hand.

Hardcastle rubbed his tender right hand which had thrown one too many punches at Peter Decker's jaw. He never thought in a million years that that little weasel embezzler would put up such a fight. It had taken them nearly ten days to track him down and finally catch him, but not after a car chase, followed by a foot race and a knock 'em down fight in the middle of a Los Angeles barrio. McCormick got the worst of it as he tangled with Decker's right hand man, Juan Gomez. The late night stake-outs, following dead end leads, along with the final hunt had left them both wiped out, exhausted and nursing their nagging wounds. They both looked forward to the July 4th holiday as Hardcastle had promised them both a real honest to goodness break. Neither one of them counted on houseguests, and especially not the problems these particular houseguests brought with them.

"How is your hand?" Mark asked him as he spotted the Judge still rubbing away the soreness.

"It's fine, just a little stiff." The kid still sported a shiner from the most recent case they had finished up just two days earlier. Hardcastle insisted he go see Charlie after half his face seemed to swell up, including his entire eyelid, causing the kid to not even be able to open his eyelid to see. Everything was fine though and after a day of on and off ice packs, the puffiness indeed subsided, leaving behind the rainbow of yellow, purple and gray bruising. "You know that can wait," Hardcastle pointed toward the mess. "It's not like you're actually 'doing' them, we got a machine for that and we both have company in case you forgot."

"Believe me, I haven't forgotten. I just need a little break, they give me a headache after awhile."

"Yeah, I can understand that, but you've already been here past the little break time limit," Hardcastle said, noticing the weariness in his friends voice and face. "Is your eye still bothering you?"

McCormick shook his head no and softly smiled. "Aren't you the guy who's always telling me not to leave the dishes sitting around? That gunk gets caked on if you don't get them scraped and loaded? Besides, what are you doing in here? Hiding out perhaps?"

"No, I'm not hiding out. I told them I was coming in here to give you a hand." He held up his good one.

McCormick briefly laughed, "Well, thanks, but you can go back in, by now I'm sure those two need a referee. God knows they should probably not be left alone."

"I'm a Judge, not a referee, remember? And neither one of them listens to referee's or judges for that matter."

"You're probably right about that," McCormick paused and added, "Well, except you can send them to prison." He thought about the situation at hand and added, "You really do need to get back in there."

Hardcastle wasn't about to head back into the den at least not without his back up. He defiantly went and took a seat at the table. "How exactly did this happen again?"

"We just ate dinner and the dishes are dirty."

The Judge showed his annoyance, "I'm not talking about dinner dishes anymore, I'm talking about those two. How'd they both end up here?"

"Oh yeah right, well, it is July you know, you wanted fireworks remember?"

"Yeah, maybe so, you know I wanted the kind that go off from the pier, all the pretty colors, the ooh's and the aah's. I didn't want this." He thumbed his way toward the den. "And I promised us both a relaxing holiday, I'm sure sorry about that kiddo. I never thought in a million years that Sonny and Gerald would show up here at the same time. I don't know about you, but I can't take much more of them. I know Gerald's got some sort of bomb to drop on me."

"Sonny's gotta catch a plane tomorrow night, so that will relieve part of it."

"Yeah, but that still leaves us with Gerald and his mystery fallout."

"Judge, he's your brother."

"And Sonny's your dad," Milt fired right back. He glanced over to McCormick waiting for a comeback, but nothing came. "Did Sonny actually invite Gerald to Atlantic City next month?"

McCormick nodded, "Yep, and heaven help New Jersey if that comes to pass. They'll spend a few days playing the ponies and then take in Sonny's concert, followed by black jack, roulette and poker, and throw in a few unsuspecting ladies and who knows, maybe a sister for me and a niece for you. How much trouble could that be?"

"That last part is not even funny McCormick," the Judge shuddered at the very thought of it. "How much will all that end up costing me?"

"Maybe while they're in Atlantic City it would be a good time for a nice long vacation for you and me. You know, when they call here, we'd be long gone."

"See, it still ends up costing me money, either I bail them out or spend a fortune for us to leave town."

"Okay, so just turn off the phone. We can just sit by the pool and pretend we're up north somewhere. I know I sure could use a break from the crime busting."

"I really thought we'd have a quiet holiday McCormick, I know I promised you that. All I wanted was to grill some steaks out, have some potato salad, watch the Pops concert on PBS later on. Why'd Gerald have to call and ruin all that?"

"The steaks and potato salad came through." Mark turned around and faced him and repeated, "He's your brother Judge, and so far he seems to be behaving himself. And by now we both know to expect Sonny at any time."

"You keep saying that McCormick, don't you think I know he's my brother? Fifty eight years he's been my brother and he's been nothing but a pain since the day I found out about him."

McCormick whirled around and went back to scraping dinner plates. "And they say us only children are spoiled and selfish. I think the psychiatrists got it wrong. Didn't your parents teach you to get along? Where's all the 'He ain't heavy, he's my brother' love?"

"Getting along and getting him out of jams are two entirely different things. Gerald doesn't just show up for a visit, he shows up because he's always a mountain of a problem that needs to be scaled. Besides I don't see you running in there to spend time with Sonny."

"I'm cleaning up the kitchen, would you give me a break?" McCormick got defensive.

"Ha, you're lying, I can spot it in you a mile away, you are in here hiding out. Don't try to pretend that I didn't hear what Sonny said to you in there."

"That's just Sonny, most of what he says goes in one ear and out the other," Mark said focusing on the dessert plates. "I stopped letting that stuff bother me a long time ago."

"That's not entirely true. You put it out of your head most of the time, but it's still back there to bother you, like tonight," Hardcastle explained. "I don't think he realizes what he says most of the time. When you came in here, I tried to explain to him, but honestly, he didn't even remember what he said."

Mark walked over to the table to pick up some glasses. "You're going to analyze me and my family Dr. Freud?" He let out a scoff. "You should take a closer look at your relationship with Gerald, he's not a mountain to scale, he's your brother."

Milt stood up and picked up some coffee cups that were next to him on the table and carried them over to the dishwasher. "I'm not analyzing anything. I'm just stating the truth."

"Don't set those in there yet, I still have to get some bowls in there," McCormick said, brushing him away from the dishwasher.

Milt set the cups on the counter and took a step away. "All I'm saying is that you could have told Sonny to back off, called him on it right away."

"Yeah, and I'm telling you it was easier to not say anything, case closed, subject dropped. You just said he doesn't remember saying it anyway."

"Except that now you're in here hiding out," the Judge said.

This time McCormick let out a hearty laugh, "This coming from a guy who can't stand being in the same room with his brother for more than five minutes. You were up and down during dinner more times than the '29 stock market."

Hardcastle tilted his head and gave the kid a sarcastic look. "Funny."

"Unless of course you've got an upset stomach or something? I think there's some antacids in the bathroom," Mark continued to crack. "Face it Hardcase, you don't want to be in there either."

"It figures the two of them would hit it off doesn't it?" Hardcastle said, staring at the doorway to the den. "We're in here agonizing over the two of them and they're having the time of their lives. Something's definitely wrong with that picture."

"I don't know if an afternoon barbeque on the 4th of July constitutes hitting it off, but they do seem to be enjoying each other's company. Maybe they're just being nice on account of you and me?"

"That'd be a first. I bet the shoe is about to fall. When have those two ever done something for you or me?"

"Well, speaking for myself, technically I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Sonny," Mark added.

"Aw, you know what I'm talking about."

Gerald's voice came booming from the den, "Hey Milt, how's about bringing us that good old bottle of scotch I know you have hidden away. They got the Dodger game on TV right now and me and Sonny are going to take a shot every time someone strike's out."

Mark and Milt had stopped dead in their tracks to listen to Gerald's request. "Did you just hear that McCormick?" Hardcastle began, "He thinks I'm going to wait on him hand and foot and just give up a thirty year old bottle of scotch for him to piddle away on a stupid drinking game with your old man?"

"That's a joke Judge. Just bring them any old bottle and a couple of glasses, they could care less if it's thirty years old or thirty seconds. And with the way the Dodgers have been playing, it won't take more than an inning or two for them to finish off the bottle."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Hey, if they pass out, they can't cause us any trouble."

"They better not drink that much," Hardcastle was quick to add. He grudgingly went to a nearby cupboard and pulled out a bottle of scotch and then went and got a couple of glasses.

"There's some chips over there too, they'll probably be hungry," Mark pointed out, "And don't forget a glass for yourself."

"I'm not staying in there McCormick, no way am I playing a stupid drinking game with Gerald and Sonny," Milt said as he picked up the chips and headed for the den. "Just hurry up in here and don't forget to call Sonny Dad."

"That's right, you're hiding out with me," Mark called out to no one. He went back to loading the dishwasher and wiping down the counters. He took a moment and gingerly touched his black eye. The headache was growing right behind the socket and spreading.

Gerald had gotten in yesterday. The way Mark had it figured out, Gerald would probably let Milt in on whatever it was he needed to get bailed out of either later tonight or first thing in the morning. Gerald never jumped right into what he needed, even though the Judge would continue to pressure him to tell. It was a regular routine for the two of them. Mark had almost gotten it out of Gerald a few hours earlier as he had to make a quick run to the grocery store and Gerald was all set to go along and then lo and behold Sonny had dropped in unexpected. He started to tell Mark about a friend's new business venture into aluminum siding. That was as far as Gerald had gotten. And the moment was gone. Sonny hopped in the Coyote in place of Gerald leaving Gerald and Milt to head in opposite directions of the house for the time being. And their conversation had continued to be superficial and insincere since. All Mark and Milt had wanted was a quiet, peaceful holiday and what had happened was round two of Lexington and Concord. Gerald didn't say anything and Sonny said too much.

It wasn't more than a minute when Sonny stuck his head in the kitchen and said, "Hey, hurry up with that cleaning will ya, we're already in the second inning in there."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there soon enough."

"Nice job on those steaks too! Great idea for the holiday!" he added, taking a few steps closer to Mark. His mouth began to rev up and Mark braced himself. "Does the Judge mind if we light up cigars in here? I told Gerald I had some Cubans. I got one for you too, if you're interested. How's that eye of yours feeling? You two really need to be more careful when you're chasing down those lowlifes you're after. Don't forget to duck, you know? Geez, that Gerald, he's a nice guy. It's hard to believe him and the Judge are brothers, Gerald's like a regular guy, not nearly wound as tight like the Judge, they're not alike at all. Yeah, he's a good guy all right."

"That's funny Sonny, Gerald said almost the same thing about you and I being father and son and no, Hardcastle doesn't mind the cigars. He hosts a monthly poker game, so he's used to it."

Sonny rolled his eyes. "You're not mad 'cause I just dropped in on you and the Judge are you?"

"Nah, why would I be mad? I'm getting used to the quick visits now. In and out right?" McCormick said with a bit of a bite. It wasn't lost on Sonny completely.

"Well I did sort of just show up. I don't think you or the Judge care for this sort of spur of the moment stuff. I'll work on that. Plus Gerald was here already. Maybe I should get a room at a hotel you know? One's company, two's a crowd right?"

"Three's a crowd Sonny," Mark corrected him and added, "You're staying here Dad, there's plenty of room and it's only for a night." There, the Judge would be proud of him for calling Sonny Dad.

"You make it sound like you're tolerating me," Sonny hung his head.

McCormick gave him a smile. "You showed up at eleven o'clock this morning and you're leaving tomorrow night. You already have your plans made. I'm just happy you stopped in for a visit, really. I'm just tired."

"I really have to fly back to New Jersey tomorrow, but I wanted to stop in and say hi and see how you were doing."

"Sonny, you don't have to explain, I understand the life of a lounge singer."

Gerald's voice filled the house again, "Sonny, come on, get back in here, you're missing the game, bring the kid with you."

Sonny looked over to Mark, whose eyes pleaded for McCormick to join him. "I just need to finish this up, go on," Mark said.

"Don't forget I have a cigar with your name on it."

Back in the den, Milt sat uncomfortably on the couch, while Gerald poured himself another shot as Ron Cey struck out again. "You sure you don't want a shot? You're really no fun Milt. We need Sonny and Mark in here to liven things up a bit. It's the 4th of July for crying out loud, loosen up."

"I think you're loosened up for all of us," Milt said, leaning forward, unable to relax.

"Do you ever let yourself have some fun?" Gerald tore himself away from the game.

"Fun, yes, of course, I like fun just like everyone else, but stupid drinking games don't make my fun list."

"Would you relax, it's not like I'm going to get behind the wheel of a car, we just had a great dinner, nice company, now we can just have a guy's kind of evening. It's a holiday for crying out loud."

"A guy's kind of evening?" Milt asked suspiciously. "I'm still waiting for you to tell me whatever it is you have to tell me."

"Relax," Gerald lamented again as Sonny walked back in and handed a cigar over to him. "Thanks Sonny." He offered one to Milt too, but Hardcastle declined. "Would you tell Milt to relax Sonny?"

Sonny ignored Gerald's request. "The kid said you wouldn't mind," Sonny left it as a question. "They're Cubans! You sure you don't want one?"

"No, but you guys go ahead, I don't mind" Milt said, mustering up a smile.

"Hey, maybe we can play some poker later?" Gerald suggested. "Cuban's make the game more interesting." Nobody noticed Hardcastle roll his eyes.

"Milt, maybe you can get the kid to hurry up in there?" Sonny asked.

"Yeah, let me take another look," Hardcastle got to his feet, as he felt like he was outnumbered in his own house. Back to the kitchen he went. "This can't possibly be taking you this long," he lamented to the Judge, as he saw the kid scrubbing out a casserole dish at the kitchen sink.

"These potatoes are really stuck on here, I think I baked this a little too long. There's no way it's coming off in the dishwasher. I have to do it by hand," McCormick explained.

"We're both a couple of cowards, you know that?" Milt began.

"Um, I have a black eye right now, I think that indicates bravery, not cowardice."

"That indicates you not keeping up your left." Milt leaned back against the counter and watched McCormick scrub away.

"Well, you tell me why we can chase after guys with guns but when it comes to members of our own family, we scatter?"

"That's an easy one, if we did what we do to the scum we chase after to members of our family, we'd turn into the scum ourselves," the Judge explained. "Things get a little stickier when it's people we love."

The Judge walked over to the back door and opened it up and stood in the doorway. Mark finished up the casserole dish and gave it a final rinse. "What are you looking at out there?"

"It's just about dusk out there."

"Yeah, so?"

"We got any beer in the refrigerator?" Milt asked.

"Sure."

"Why don't you put down the towel, grab a couple of bottles and you and I'll head down to the beach. Those fireworks are just about to go off from the pier and I don't want to miss 'em."

"What about Sonny and Gerald?"

"Believe me, the fireworks down on the beach are much better and I promised you a relaxing holiday. Besides, they'll never know we're gone."

McCormick gave him a grin and went and grabbed a couple of bottles of beer. He handed one to Hardcastle as they walked out of the house and down toward the familiar path.

"Your Dad didn't mean to say that about you and your Mom. If he did, he wouldn't be here to see you. You know that right?"

McCormick gave him a nod of understanding. "While we're at it, Gerald said something to me about aluminum siding and a friend of his."

Hardcastle stopped walking, "Yeah, what else?"

"That's all I know so far, but brace yourself."

"Tell you what, let's just enjoy the fireworks and whatever happens tomorrow, happens tomorrow."

In the sky overhead, a huge blast of red, white and blue erupted.

"Hey, did you see that one?" Mark asked.

"Fantastic, wasn't it?"

"It sure beats the ones up at the house!"

"Now you're cookin' kiddo."