Mass Effect story

His heart was pumping hard, threatening to burst out of his ribcage at any moment. He was sweating drips down the back of his neck, feeling them sluicing down the ridges and crevices of his back and trickling to his underwear. His mind raced with a million different circumstances and desperately tried to find a solution to the current problem. It's not like he could have prepared for this, right? Staring down the barrel of Commander Shepard's gun, squarely pointed at him. No not just the commander of the Normandy; he was the saviour of the Citadel against the Geth and Sovereign's attack, extinguisher of the Collectors, responsible for the unity of the Krogan clans with the Salarians and the Turians. But more than that, he was his friend and a fucking good one at that. I mean, visiting him in Huerta hospital after every mission he completed, despite the fact the genesis of the extinction of humanity and all organic life in galaxy had begun? Anyone else would have left him there alone with nobody to talk to.

Kaidan had always been stubborn, and if he didn't see it as a negative trait he certainly did then. Ignoring the taunts of Councillor Udina, he paused for a second to think. Hard. All the times Shepard had saved him and the crew of the Normandy, by christ he fucking sacrificed himself to save Joker when the Collectors hit Normandy SR-1. But he is ex-cerburus! No no no, he shouldn't think like that, Shepard came clean with him in the hospital and made it clear that he has nothing to do with them anymore.

Still, the thought lingered in the background to all his thoughts.

This is stupid, Shepard teamed up with Cerburus for the right reasons and he was the same person that took him to Eden Prime, to Noveria and to Ilos. Maybe there was a reason that Shepard took him on every mission? Is it possible that he-

"Kaidan we don't have time! There are Cerburus soldiers in the hallway and they're coming after the Council!" Shepard shouted, with a tinge of desperation in his voice.

Kaidan had always gone with logic and his head, both of which would have dictated him to take a stand against his best friend. But his heart wouldn't subside. It stood in the mix as stubbornly as he is himself. Kaidan was obviously taking far more time than he should, as he noticed the pained wince and furrowed brow that Shepard develops when he is forced to do something against his will. With that, Kaidan stepped aside, his eyes on Shepard as he made way. The relief on Shepard's face was undeniable, and Kaidan swore he could hear Shepard whisper "Thank you" in his head before the ricochet of a pistol firing echoed over the vista of the Presidium.

But Kaidan was lost in his thoughts. And angry. Angry that it took him so fucking long to realise that Shepard had been vying for what Kaidan never had the balls to chase up. Even on the night before Ilos when Shepard needed someone to hold and, more importantly, someone to hold him. Instead of doing what his heart told him, he told himself about jeopardising the mission and the Alliance regulations against fraternisation. That, and Kaidan's harrowing fear of rejection and scaring people off after BaAT.

"Fucking idiot", he heard himself whisper, not realising that Shepard was staring at him with that furrowed brow. He jumped, regained his composure and quickly yet confidently spoke.

"That was a good call Shepard, I can't believe that I was so damned stupid to take Udina's side over yours!" Anger was seething out of Kaidan, evident in his tenor. He paused a second, closed his eyes after welling up enough courage and said "I would really like to talk about this, Commander. It's been a hell of a day"

Shepard grew a small but affectionate smirk "Of course Kaidan, it's not every day that you find yourself pointing a gun at your partner."

Shepard's eyes grew wide as he realised what he had just said, and turned three shades more red in an instant.

"Oh! I meant combat partner, of course" Shepard said with a nervous twang. Kaidan only chuckled. It was quite something seeing the unstoppable commander Shepard looking so cute.

"It's fine Commander, I'll meet you at docking bay D26" Kaidan's smile soon turned to a tiresome frown "of course, after the reporters have hassled me enough"

"D'ya need me to *ehem* assist with them?" glancing down at his clenched fists with a fist.

Kaidan chuckled, remembering the shock and hilarity of seeing the Commander flat out punch that reporter on the Citadel in the C-sec wards. Those were great times.

"Nah, if any of them get too up in my face I'm sure I can arrange a biotic punch for them" Kaidan replied, with a wide smile brimming over his face.

Shepard smiled warmly and said "Damn, i could really do with a good therapeutic punching session", winking at Kaidan as he spoke "I'll see you in a couple hours, don't have too much fun" and then the two parted ways, both containing a feeling of nervous but joyful anticipation.

It was inevitable what the conversation would be about. Jesus, he had almost gunned down the one thing that really mattered to him in the world because of his over-powering sense of duty, and he was pretty sure that Kaidan thought he could do it. If they were about to clear things up, maybe he could go further. Tell him that he was the sole motivation for defeating the reapers, that his fondness of him goes as far back as the days of Saren and Sovereign.

Shepard sighed heavily, imagining the relief of knowing for sure what the Major thinks of him. All he could do is hope that he reciprocated his feelings.

Or at least not be scared by them. Shit, he thought to himself, this is gonna be a long couple hours.