Nothing but my thought's of you...

They say dreams could come true if you don't tell anyone about them. Could that work for nightmares too…?

"Yuki wait for me please don't leave me...YUKI!!

There I was in the dark flaming ablaze. There we both stand in the flames of hell. Yuki only a few steps away from me, but yet I couldn't reach him.

"Yuki wait"!!!

I cried out to him, but it seemed my words couldn't reach him. He couldn't hear me; suddenly Yuki turns around to face me. Looking at me with those golden eyes of his, that seem to shine like the sun in this fiery hell. Yuki stares at me with a sadness in his eyes and, then says to me in a gentle voice…

"Good-bye… Shuichi"

The flames become wild as everything went black, then my eyes suddenly opening to reality.

Huh?

I blink a couple of times realizing I woke from a dream.

Oh good it was all a dream...huh? Wait I can hear someone's voice…

I woke up to the sound of voices, as I try to figure out whose voice it was. I realized that the voice was Yuki. I suddenly got really happy that Yuki was back. I didn't say nothing yet, and just lay there listening. It soon came to me who the other voice was; it was Satoshi. The guy Yuki goes out to drink with sometimes. Satoshi seemed like an okay guy, but kind of a womanizer. He and Yuki only started to hang out since three weeks ago when they met at some novel thing. Satoshi and Yuki continue to talk about their night they had; as I just lay their on the couch. Continue to pretend to be a sleeping, and listened to their conversation, as they sat on the other couch.

"Hey Yuki I got a question for you, are you going out with that girl you kissed tonight? You know the ugly one?

"Shut up Satoshi"

I didn't know what the hell was going on as they talked away. I was too shocked, heartbroken and hurt to what I just heard. Not knowing what to do I got up and left the living room, going in to the bathroom. I just zoomed right passed them, closing the door as I entered the bathroom. My back against the door as, I slide down putting my hands to my face. Tears began to fall with this overwhelming pain inside of me.

Oh Yuki why would you do that to me why? What did I do wrong?

These questions entered my head that spanned around in my mind. I hoped Yuki would come to check up on me. I wiped away my tears telling my self it's alright, Yuki loves me. But how much longer was I going to pretend that every think was alright. How long could I keep this up and continue to smile? I wiped away at my face trying to get rid of my tears, but they could stop falling no matter how my times I tried to get rid of them.

If Yuki sees me crying he's going to get mad at me…

Its true Yuki always did get mad, but I don't know why he said that he hated to see me cry and, then would walk away. I wish I knew the reason why he hated seeing my tears. I wanted to stop crying for him, but I couldn't… cause the pain inside my heart was too much for me to stand. I couldn't think of being with any one else, but him…

Why would he do it when he knew I loved him so much? Why would he want to hurt me why? why?!

Everything that was going thought my mind at that moment, was all the happy memories, but why was I crying… with these doubts...? Why couldn't I just tell him how I feel? Why couldn't I just do that? Why was I so afraid of telling him how I feel…?

Sigh what I'm I going to do…? …Yuki…

"Shiuchi"

My sense became alert when I heard my name being called by the guy named Satoshi. I sat there on the bathroom floor wondering why he was standing in front of the bathroom.

"Um… Shiuchi"?

He knocks on the bathroom. I don't even bother to answer him.

"Shiuchi do you need to talk about something or is there something wrong"?

He says as if he knew me.

Yeah right I would what to talk to you I don't even know you... It's not you I want to talk to anyway...

The person I really wanted to talk to was Yuki even if he didn't want to hear me. I could hear Satoshi turning the doorknob, but I didn't give him a chance to open it, I just quickly locked the door. I could still fell Satoshi's presences, and this was getting on my nerves.

"I'm alright I just needed to use the washroom…"

My voice was weak from the crying I did. I tried not to let him know but some how he knew.

"Uh... Are you sure Shuichi?"?

"Yeah I fine…"

Once I knew he had left the hallway, I felt the bathroom and went in to my room, closing my self inside. I lay on my bed and looked up at the ceiling as I cried thinking of Yuki.

Knock knock

Huh someone's at the door?

"Uh Shuichi…"

It's Yuki…! But I don't know what to say to him… My eyes aren't back to normal. What if he sees me like this?!

I stopped crying as Yuki wait for me to respond to him.

"I'm fine Yuki I'm just really tired that's all"

..Yuki I'm sorry...

That was what I wanted to say but the words couldn't come out. After I heard Yuki's footsteps walk way, I started to cry again. My mind was blank suddenly the thoughts came from the darkness of my heart.

I'm so stupid why I can't just say what I wanted to say! Why couldn't I just let him know what I feeling? Why the hell I'm being too weak?!

Suddenly a thought had struck me and I become frozen.

What if Yuki left me?!

Like the dream I had. I couldn't think like that I have to stay positive. Suddenly there was a warm liquid that came down my face.

No Yuki can't leave I care about him too much, for that to happen...I know Yuki loves me or he wouldn't stay.

That was what I wanted to think but the darkness took over me as the tears started to flow like a running river down my face. All positive thoughts had left my mind and I sunk to the darkness of my heart.

No Yuki! Why would you leave! I care about you!! I matter right?! You never said you would leave!! Yuki!!

Before I knew it the darkness had consumed me. And my thoughts began to blur in to the darkness where the devil dwelled.

I might as well give up since Yuki seems to not care about me. Ok then I won't… I won't continue to be such an annoying idiot that you always call me. I will just become a shadow to you like I always was in the first place.

There was nothing else I could think of, and so I decided to call Yuki and talk to him before I said good-bye for good. I opened the door of my room, and then calling out his name.

"Y-Yuki…Yuki could you please come here"!

I called for him my voice a little crackly but I called him. At first he didn't come then minutes later he comes to me. He enters the room closing the door behind him, and like always it's the same thing he say's, the same thing he does.

"What do you want"?

He says in an annoyed tone, looking at me as I faced away from him. My Body started to shake, and then suddenly the worlds just started to come out like a car going a full speed.

"Yuki I'm sorry...I love you...I just hope that person your dating makes you happy because I'm happy for you… See I'm smiling…"

Turning around I looked at him with a smile as, tears fell down my face like the rain drops that fell on the window.

Yuki...Yuki ... Yuki... Was all I could think of as, Yuki stands there in silence. I look at him as he turned away from me, and then saying the words that I thought that he would never say?

"Sorry for ever being born"

A shock went though my face as I tried to understand what he said, but it made no sense to me.

What?! Why would you say that why would you say that. To me it makes no sense.

"Yuki wait!"

Before I could do anything he was gone with the door closed behind him. I ran out of the room knowing that he was in the hallway. I knew there was something wrong and I had to find out if he's alright.

"Yuki wait what's wrong I want to help please tell me! YUKI are you listening! Tell me what's wrong"!! I'm here for you!! I was wrong I didn't mean what I said I'm alright!!! YUKI SAY SOMETHING!!!

He just continued to walk away as Satoshi continued to wonder what the hell was going on. I know that Yuki didn't want me to be doing this but I could help it. I wanted to help him; even if hearing the answer would hurt me. Yuki continued to ignore me, but I continued to ask him as he got more and more angry. It didn't matter I wanted to know I had to. I always seem to do this to Yuki but what he was about to do was something he had never done. Yuki grabbed his coat and then whispered something in his friend's ear, and suddenly headed for the door. I knew what he was think he was going to leave! I could let him go not when we were like this. Not when I was still hurting inside.

"Yuki wait please don't leave!! wait!! why are you so mad at me!! wait Yuki...YUKIII"!

"Shut up Stupid brat you're so annoying! I don't want to tell you anything got it. I don't care! get that thought your stupid head"!!

He turns to look at me. I looked at Yuki in shock that he would say that. That the time I wanted to cry, but this time I can't I needed to help him. Even if before I said I was going to give up on Yuki I couldn't, I just can't stop loving him! I love him to much. I ran in front of the door stopping Yuki from leaving as, my body shakes in fear of what I might do next

"Get out of my way Shuichi"!

Damn it I'm just getting him angrier… what I'm I suppose to do?

There was nothing but my thoughts as I stood in front of that door. Suddenly there was a grab abounded my neck… it was Satoshi!

"What the hell let me go"!!

"No! Yuki wants to leave and you're just being annoying, and getting in the way"!

Satoshi held on to my away from the door as, Yuki started to head out the door. Not knowing what to do I panic and did the think of what I was doing; when I find myself biting Satoshi. Satoshi let me go to hold he's hand that was in pain; suddenly Yuki yelled.

"Why the hell did you do that for you damn brat"?!

I was confused as well…

Why did I do that? Eww disgusting!

Yuki looked at me as he questioned my actions. I looked back at him grinning.

"Heh I thought you didn't care Yuki"?

The anger in his eye was the look he gave me a hundred of times, but for some reason this was a different look then the other countless looks he had gave me before. This look scared me as it stabbed me a thousand times right in to my heart. I froze in my tracks think Yuki might hit me. I closed my eyes to see only darkness.

Nothing else came to mind as they walk out but before I could stop them they and realized that they where already gone.

"No Yuki please don't leave I'm sorry I really am! Please don't leave I don't want to be hurt any more"!

Was all I could say? I quickly ran to go and get my bike thinking maybe I could catch him. I raced down the street looking for a red car, but I couldn't really see anything it was raining and I was getting all wet. I would race down streets to find nothing, then I thought of what places he would go to. So I when to search for him where he might be, but nothing. All I could think of was that he had left me for good and he was never coming back. I started to cry as I headed towards Hiro's place. I need someone to talk to someone to tell me what I should do.

Oh Yuki where are...Please don't leave me I just wanted you to be happy. Is it because I'm a guy at you don't like me anymore? Did I do something wrong? I love you so much Yuki!

As thoughts covered my mind in sorrow and despair, there was nothing else I could think of was that...Yuki was gone. I must have been really stupid to mess up big time for Yuki to leave. Tears ran down my face as my body got colder then ice it's self. I looked to the sky in to the darkness of the night smiling.

"Heh funny how it's raining when I'm crying, at lest people would know that... I'm crying..."

To Be Continued…