I don't own Lost Girl and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Grateful that Dyson took her to his place instead of Bo and Kenzi's, an exhausted Tamsin sighed in relief when the car pulled up to their destination. "Thank you," she murmured.
He shrugged. "You're welcome. Now, can you get there on your own two feet or do you need help?" Dyson was worried about her and didn't want Tamsin to hurt herself.
Humiliated that he had to carry her away, Tamsin decided to be stubborn about this. "I can make it on my own." Fuck, she was a Dark Fae. She wasn't some delicate little flower that needed taking care of, no matter how guilty and sad she felt at the moment.
Dyson held his hands up in surrender. "Okay then. I'll be right behind you if you need me." He'd make sure she didn't overexert herself.
Tamsin glared at him, but opened the door and gingerly put her feet down. She nearly collapsed where she stood, but held onto the top of the door to steady herself. "You got this, Tamsin. Slow and steady." And true to Dyson's word, he was right behind her every step of the way as she slowly made her way into his place.
"You want to get a shower or anything? I have some spare clothes you can borrow," he told her after locking the door behind them.
"I'm just going to sit for a while." Tamsin just wanted to sleep. And even though a shower sounded like a good idea (she needed to be clean), she didn't have the energy to do much of anything.
"I'll set clothes out for you just in case you change your mind. And I'm here if you need to talk." Dyson wasn't going to let her drown in her grief. He was dealing with his own issues over Hale and Kenzi's death, but he didn't blame Tamsin and needed her to know that.
"Thanks." Tamsin wasn't about to take him up on his offer, but it was a nice gesture. And she was asleep before her head hit the pillow a few minutes later. However, her sleep wasn't a restful one – Tamsin tossed and turned all night because of nightmares of what she had to do to Kenzi. By the time she gave up on sleep around six in the morning, she was starving even though she still had no appetite.
"You need me to make you some toast?" Dyson asked when he got up an hour later.
Tamsin shook her head. "I'm not hungry." But her stomach betrayed her by growling.
He laughed at the glare on her face. "I'll make you something small – just it for me, please?"
She sighed. "Fine." He wasn't about to give up so she might as well give in. Tamsin thanked Dyson when he handed her buttered toast a few minutes later and scarfed it down as quickly as she could. Luckily for her, it stayed down.
"Do you want to talk about it yet?"
"Fuck no. I'm okay – really."
Dyson rolled his eyes. "Tamsin, as your friend, I'm calling bullshit. Don't lie to me. Lean on my shoulder if you want, but what happened last night upset you."
"Shouldn't you be comforting Bo? I'm sure she needs your help right now." Tamsin didn't want to hear this.
"Bo's with Lauren, Trick, and Vex – she's okay. I'm more worried about you right now."
"Well, you don't have to be! There's nothing to tell, Dyson. A friend died and it sucked. You happy now?"
"Far from it. Tamsin, I'll be here when you're ready. Don't shut me out." He side hugged her and then left to go to work.
Tamsin felt the tears building up, but refused to let them fall. She sniffled and then decided to get a shower. While in there, she decided that she didn't want to be a cliché and hurried up so she wouldn't fall apart. Fortunately, it worked. And then she just parked herself on the couch and watched TV for hours so she'd have a distraction. "And of course nothing is on." At least soap operas were somewhat entertaining, even though they were stupid. When Dyson finally got back, she turned the TV off and pasted a fake smile on her face.
"How are you doing?" he asked.
"Great!" she lied.
Dyson didn't buy it, but he also didn't call her out – that wasn't what she needed at the moment. "Well, I'm going to order pizza for dinner. That sound good to you?"
She nodded. "It sounds great." She still didn't have an appetite, but maybe she could eat some pizza. Tamsin was always up for it.
She managed to eat one slice (Dyson several) before giving up. He ended up refrigerating the leftovers so nothing would go to waste. He reached across the table and rubbed a thumb over her wrist. "Tamsin, I know you're grieving right now. You don't have to keep holding it inside."
She snatched her hand back. "Yes, I do! I didn't know her that well so I have no right to feel like this."
"Of course you have a right to feel like this, Tamsin! Why wouldn't you?" He was horrified.
"Because I'm a Dark Fae! All of you knew her longer and better." Fuck, she really was going to cry if Dyson kept this up.
"It doesn't matter what kind of Fae you are. And you've become a friend to us. Kenzi was your friend."
Tamsin choked back a sob. "Kenzi took care of me, and I repaid her by doing what I did last night! This is on me." She put her head in her arms and started shaking as the sobs wracked her body.
Dyson started rubbing her back. "Kenzi wanted you to do that, and we understand it. Bo's pissed, but even she understands. You don't have to feel guilty."
"How can I not? Bo's lost her best friend because of me. I don't know how to deal with this. I've never had to before." Her voice cracked as the sobs continued.
He hugged Tamsin. "Shhh. I want you to talk to Bo, okay? Can you do that for me?"
"Maybe. I'll have to think about it." Tamsin wasn't even sure if she could step foot in Trick's bar again after this. Would they even want her there?
Tamsin was drowning in guilt and grief, but at least she had Dyson – and hopefully the others – by her side. And Bo would not stand for Kenzi's death. It wasn't going to be permanent. But for now, all Tamsin could do was mourn the loss of someone she considered a friend.