Komui's Diabolical Plan.
One day in a little house, Komui was sitting there and drinking tea.
"I'm bored" he exclaimed.
Suddenly the house was torn to bits, leaving Komui exposed to the frustrated and tired Science department.
"Komui, please sign these immediately!"
"No, these first!"
"Stop slacking off!"
"Where the hell did you find time to build that cardboard house?"
"Is that my apron?" Jerry asked.
"Why, yes it is. I was having some time to myself, playing house. I was about to ask Lenalee to join me as well; but she's on a mission" Komui replied, sitting on his mini cardboard chair and sipped his tea.
"Stop ignoring us!" The department cried, throwing the apron back to its rightful owner and dragged Komui back to his desk.
"NOOOOO!!!! But I don't want to" he screamed, whipping out a remote and pressed the red button.
You read that right. The red button; may the terror-to-come be gentle on everyone but Komui.
Johnny took the remote and passed it to Bob.
Bob passed it to George.
George passed it to Billy.
Billy passed it to Allen.
But Allen was yawning.
The remote dropped into his mouth.
Allen's mouth closed on it.
The remote hissed in pain (not that you care)
The remote died.
Allen spat it back out.
"I may eat a lot, but that doesn't mean I'll eat anything" he coughed and wiped his tongue onto his sleeve, hoping to rub off all the tar and oil off.
"But you ate my spinach" Reever pointed out.
"It's still food"
"No one considers the fact that spinach is food"
Buzz.
"It is food" Allen retorted.
Buzz. Buzz.
"It's terrible"
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"Not if you fried it"
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"Ew, heck no"
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"I agree with Reever" Bookman interrupted.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"Not you too!"
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"No offence Allen, but it's disgusting" Jerry agreed.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"You made the food in the first place"
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Splat.
"What is this…?" Kanda asked, holding a fairy by its foot.
I have no idea why he's there in the first place.
Allen sniggered with Lavi by his side.
"We never knew you were such a pervert, Kanda" Allen taunted.
"And here I thought you were as bent as a corner" Lavi joined.
"Stop looking up Komurin 9000's skirt!"
Everyone turned to look at Komui. In his hand was another remote, much flashier than the previous one.
"The other one was a decoy" Bob stated.
George smacked Bob on his crown, "Obviously!"
Kanda threw Komurin 9000 at Komui, but mid-way; she started to fly again.
"My baby lives" Komui rejoiced.
"His baby lives" everyone else panicked. They tried to catch it again, but the clever fairy robot was too fast.
"Why did you let it go?" Lavi asked Kanda.
"Because it was bother-"
"You BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Allen yelled, giving him a flying kick to the back. Kanda fell to the floor.
"Damn you beanspro-!!!"
"It's your fault Kanda!" the Science department one by one slapped Kanda.
"It may have still been dead if you held it!" Freddy cried.
"Your menacing aura kept it dead!" James shrieked.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kanda (insert) perplexed.
The fairy, who loved being in the center of attention, dived for Kanda's head; it being jealous of the jerk who stole her spotlight.
Thing was that the fairy was just recently activated and Komui was too lazy to program some common sense in to the little bugger, so-
"Yes!" Bob exclaimed, "The fairy died again!"
Kanda opened his mouth to protest but Lavi was too fast for the emo-ninja-but-not-really-a-ninja-samurai-thingy- I mean person.
"Kanda, you're so awesome! Why didn't you ever use this power in missions before?!?"
"Because he's too moody to attempt to use it" Allen stated.
"I don't-"
"Kanda, you should stop being lazy and use that power to kill off the Akuma!" Krory said.
Wait, who let him in?
"Exactly" Allen nodded.
"…But… Akuma are machines" Eliade pointed out.
"Eliade!" Krory cried.
"Krory; my love!" Eliade cried.
The couple ran towards each other and hugged the jeepers out of each other and skipped off to Twilight to tell off Bella and Edward for not being lovey-dovey enough.
Anyways, that isn't really important. Nor did anyone actually paid any attention to Eliade because the main female cast in -Man aren't significant enough for anyone to actually care for.
So what ever she said is now out of the window.
Besides, apparently humans and Akuma can merge with each other with the advanced technology that the end of 19th century can offer. While Allen had to suffer pain and agony the curse of Mana provided him, therefore merging his flesh and his robotic body together.
Not that the author would care.
"Why… why did Krory skipped off by himself?" Jerry asked.
"Nobody cares" cried the fly on the wall.
Jerry was hurt.
The fly laughed.
Jerry threw Timcampy.
Timcampy ate fly.
Fly now sad.
Now no one cares for fly.
Everybody laugh. Laugh at the fly's misery. You know you want to you insensitive jerk.
By now, Komui's fairy thing has been grinding against a hard place and Kanda's menacing aura. Wait- no it's gone now.
"Look what you did Kanda, you turned it into dust" Bookman scolded, as he unwrapped a bar of chocolate to nomz on.
"Panda, where'd you get that chocolate?" Lavi inquired.
"Some kid named Parry Fodder or something gave it to me, said he had a toothache from consuming too many chocolate frogs."
"Frogs don't taste like chocolate, they taste like kimchi" Allen softly said.
"…"
Allen retreated from everybody's stare, mumbling about shutting up and he holed himself up in his room for the rest of the day.
"Let's ignore him" Bob said.
"Yea, the chocolate is way more important than the mental health of our beloved Gary-Stew comrade"
Bookman, who just finished his chocolate, unraveled more chocolate to nom on. "Well, follow the yellow brick road and you should meet up with the Wizard of Bumbledoor. There'll be a witch to block your path, but don't worry. I'm sure you're all capable of killing her easily with Kanda around."
"I highly-"
"Shut up Kanda, you have no right to speak"
D:
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Yea.
So off they went, but Kanda caught rabies so they all had to sell him off to little red riding hood.
Then they met the witch, but it was fine because all they did was throw her into a dry well and her neck snapped from the impact; therefore she died a horrible death but no one cares.
Then they all got chocolate besides Kanda.
The End.
"My Komurin 9000!!!!!!"
Shut up Komui.
I dunno.
Complaints anyone?
BTW This was written very messily at school with no editing what-so-ever (not that I do any editing anyways)
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:D
(insert cuss)