If You Give a Saiyan a Nickel...
Once upon a time, Goku and Vegeta were walking down
the street.
"Hey check it out, Geta, I found a shiny nickel."
"Hooray."
"If you put it on your nose and make a wish, it'll
come true."
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Now
come on, we can't be
late again."
Vegeta turned to Goku to see him with his head tilted
back, eyes closed, and a nickel balanced on his nose.
'I wish for bad things to happen to Geta.'
Vegeta nabbed the nickel off of his nose and thrust it
in his pocket.
"Come on! If we're late the women will make us go into
that secret underwear store!"
Vegeta shivered. "Those ladies in there..they stare at
me. And their stares make you feel as if you shouldn't be
there."
"I get the same feeling every time I see that scary
hamburger clown."
"Then why don't you use your Instant transmission?"
"My what?"
"The attack, if you can call it an attack, that
teleports you."
"Oh that."
"How could you forget your own attack!?"
"Uhhh, I don't know!" Goku said in a singsong voice.
He placed a hand on Vegeta's head and another to his
forehead, "Away we go."
Goku rematerialized next to a fountain, and Vegeta
appeared in the fountain.
"... Great landing Kakarot."
Bulma and Chi Chi were sitting on a bench in the mall.
"Hi honey," Goku beamed.
Suddenly there was a huge splash in the fountain, and
some casual shoppers started to scream and run away
from it.
"Argggggh!!"
"I know that yell anywhere! That's Geta!"
They turned around to see Vegeta standing in the
fountain with a crocodile gnawing on his arm.
"What the hell is this thing!?"
"I think it's an alligator," Chi Chi responded.
"You okay, Geta?" Bulma asked.
"Can I kill it?"
"I'll take that as a yes."
"You can't kill it, it's an endangered species."
"Who said that?"
A person spoke from over a mall intercom, "Hey
everyone, it's the crocodile hunter."
"That's right, and I'm here tah help yah mates. Since
every cold blooded animal in the world wants to bite me,
I'll just distract that croc with my body."
"Hey, it's working, it's letting go."
"Except now it's after me!" yelled the hunter, "Now
this is a situation you never want to be in; so don't
try this at home." Steve, A.K.A. the coolest croc hunter
on the planet, jumped fifty feet in the air, landed on
the crocodile's back, lifted it above his head, and
threw it back to Australia.
"Can we please start shopping so we can get out of
here?"
"Let's go look at the shoes," Bulma stated.
They took more or less five steps when a rather large
woman sprayed Vegeta with a can of mace.
"AAAAAH!! It burns! Why did you do that!?"
"Stop undressing me with your eyes." With that final
comment, she slapped Vegeta with her bag, kicked him
in the shin, and walked off.
"Wonder what her problem was..."
"Excuse me, let us not forget the person whose
eyeballs are bleeding! Someone help me!!"
"I got you, Geta! We just need to rinse out the bad
stuff." Goku grabbed a cup out of the hands of a
passer by and yelled, "Police business."
Goku threw the liquid residing in the cup at Vegeta's
face.
"Ohhh god, it burns!!"
Goku examined the cup, and the word "Starbucks"
caught his eye. "Hmm, well I guess we could go to the
bathroom to try water."
"Thank the heavens."
Goku took Vegeta's hand and lead him like a blind
puppy that just had hot coffee thrown in its face to
the bathroom.
"Umm, what happened to you?" Bulma asked when they
returned.
Vegeta stood dripping, with what was hopefully water,
and had what looked like a seeing eye dog gnawing at
his ankle, with a spork clenched in his left hand.
"I don't want to talk about it!" Vegeta dropped the
spork, shook off the dog, and then shook the water off
like a dog. "Were we going somewhere?"
"Yes, shoes," Bulma said, forgetting about the water
like substance that was flung at her.
At the shoe store, Vegeta and Goku sat together
concentrating on becoming invisible so they could escape.
"This isn't working, Geta."
"Keep trying."
'Whatever shuts you up,' Vegeta thought, 'What a day,
even for me this seems a bit excessive.' And then, a
light fixture finally made up its decision for
suicide, and plunged itself for the ground.
Unfortunately, Vegeta sat in an area somewhere between
the ground and the ceiling. The light fixture struck
the prince and rendered him upset, "That's it! I can't
take it any more!"
"Oh yeah, Geta?"
"Not now, Kakarot! I'm on a rant!"
"But Geta, if you give me my nickel back I can take
back the curse!"
"..."
"Yeah, that wish I made was for bad things to happen
to you."
"... Why would you do that!?" At that time the shoe
sales man was showing Bulma and Chi Chi how
aerodynamic the shoe was. It hit Vegeta in the back of
the head, which he casually picked up and hurled at
the salesmen who was bending over at the time, so it
flew over his target, through a concrete wall, and
landed in a third world country where a small child
found it and sold for billions of their currency,
making that child the wealthiest person in that
country.
"Yeah, you stole my ice cream the other day, so I
wanted to get back at you."
"So you made my life a living hell!?"
"Don't be so melodramatic, it's only been a couple of
hours. Anyways, gimme the nickel back and I can undo
it."
'How does he know the word melodramatic, but can't
count to twenty?'
"And you wait until now to decide to give me a break?"
"Well actually, I would have done it an hour ago when
you bought me ice cream on the way to the restroom, you
remember..it was right before the spork incident."
'I thought that was the bathroom and you had to pay to
use it.'
"Why didn't you do it when I got you the ice cream?"
"I forgot."
"I'm going to-" before Vegeta could finish, the same
large woman with the mace used her taser on him.
"What did I say about those eyes!?"
Vegeta fished into his pocket and held the nickel out
for Goku, "Just do it before some thing else happens!"
Goku placed the nickel on his nose, 'I wish that I
didn't make my wish.'
"Done," Goku announced.
"We're done shopping," piped the wives.
"Good, let's go home." On the way to the exit, a
security guard spotted Vegeta and labeled him as
potentially dangerous.
"Excuse me, would you mind stepping over here?"
'Since the curse is gone I guess there's nothing to worry about.'
"Now spread your arms out."
'...'
The police officer began to "frisk" Vegeta. The man
slapped both hands against Vegeta's chest. Vegeta had
decided it was not amusing in the slightest, and
therefore threw the officer at incomprehensible speed.
The rent-a-cop, being one second searching a suspect,
the next sitting in a third world country, was very
confused.
"Guess I can't blame all bad things on other people."
The End
Once upon a time, Goku and Vegeta were walking down
the street.
"Hey check it out, Geta, I found a shiny nickel."
"Hooray."
"If you put it on your nose and make a wish, it'll
come true."
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Now
come on, we can't be
late again."
Vegeta turned to Goku to see him with his head tilted
back, eyes closed, and a nickel balanced on his nose.
'I wish for bad things to happen to Geta.'
Vegeta nabbed the nickel off of his nose and thrust it
in his pocket.
"Come on! If we're late the women will make us go into
that secret underwear store!"
Vegeta shivered. "Those ladies in there..they stare at
me. And their stares make you feel as if you shouldn't be
there."
"I get the same feeling every time I see that scary
hamburger clown."
"Then why don't you use your Instant transmission?"
"My what?"
"The attack, if you can call it an attack, that
teleports you."
"Oh that."
"How could you forget your own attack!?"
"Uhhh, I don't know!" Goku said in a singsong voice.
He placed a hand on Vegeta's head and another to his
forehead, "Away we go."
Goku rematerialized next to a fountain, and Vegeta
appeared in the fountain.
"... Great landing Kakarot."
Bulma and Chi Chi were sitting on a bench in the mall.
"Hi honey," Goku beamed.
Suddenly there was a huge splash in the fountain, and
some casual shoppers started to scream and run away
from it.
"Argggggh!!"
"I know that yell anywhere! That's Geta!"
They turned around to see Vegeta standing in the
fountain with a crocodile gnawing on his arm.
"What the hell is this thing!?"
"I think it's an alligator," Chi Chi responded.
"You okay, Geta?" Bulma asked.
"Can I kill it?"
"I'll take that as a yes."
"You can't kill it, it's an endangered species."
"Who said that?"
A person spoke from over a mall intercom, "Hey
everyone, it's the crocodile hunter."
"That's right, and I'm here tah help yah mates. Since
every cold blooded animal in the world wants to bite me,
I'll just distract that croc with my body."
"Hey, it's working, it's letting go."
"Except now it's after me!" yelled the hunter, "Now
this is a situation you never want to be in; so don't
try this at home." Steve, A.K.A. the coolest croc hunter
on the planet, jumped fifty feet in the air, landed on
the crocodile's back, lifted it above his head, and
threw it back to Australia.
"Can we please start shopping so we can get out of
here?"
"Let's go look at the shoes," Bulma stated.
They took more or less five steps when a rather large
woman sprayed Vegeta with a can of mace.
"AAAAAH!! It burns! Why did you do that!?"
"Stop undressing me with your eyes." With that final
comment, she slapped Vegeta with her bag, kicked him
in the shin, and walked off.
"Wonder what her problem was..."
"Excuse me, let us not forget the person whose
eyeballs are bleeding! Someone help me!!"
"I got you, Geta! We just need to rinse out the bad
stuff." Goku grabbed a cup out of the hands of a
passer by and yelled, "Police business."
Goku threw the liquid residing in the cup at Vegeta's
face.
"Ohhh god, it burns!!"
Goku examined the cup, and the word "Starbucks"
caught his eye. "Hmm, well I guess we could go to the
bathroom to try water."
"Thank the heavens."
Goku took Vegeta's hand and lead him like a blind
puppy that just had hot coffee thrown in its face to
the bathroom.
"Umm, what happened to you?" Bulma asked when they
returned.
Vegeta stood dripping, with what was hopefully water,
and had what looked like a seeing eye dog gnawing at
his ankle, with a spork clenched in his left hand.
"I don't want to talk about it!" Vegeta dropped the
spork, shook off the dog, and then shook the water off
like a dog. "Were we going somewhere?"
"Yes, shoes," Bulma said, forgetting about the water
like substance that was flung at her.
At the shoe store, Vegeta and Goku sat together
concentrating on becoming invisible so they could escape.
"This isn't working, Geta."
"Keep trying."
'Whatever shuts you up,' Vegeta thought, 'What a day,
even for me this seems a bit excessive.' And then, a
light fixture finally made up its decision for
suicide, and plunged itself for the ground.
Unfortunately, Vegeta sat in an area somewhere between
the ground and the ceiling. The light fixture struck
the prince and rendered him upset, "That's it! I can't
take it any more!"
"Oh yeah, Geta?"
"Not now, Kakarot! I'm on a rant!"
"But Geta, if you give me my nickel back I can take
back the curse!"
"..."
"Yeah, that wish I made was for bad things to happen
to you."
"... Why would you do that!?" At that time the shoe
sales man was showing Bulma and Chi Chi how
aerodynamic the shoe was. It hit Vegeta in the back of
the head, which he casually picked up and hurled at
the salesmen who was bending over at the time, so it
flew over his target, through a concrete wall, and
landed in a third world country where a small child
found it and sold for billions of their currency,
making that child the wealthiest person in that
country.
"Yeah, you stole my ice cream the other day, so I
wanted to get back at you."
"So you made my life a living hell!?"
"Don't be so melodramatic, it's only been a couple of
hours. Anyways, gimme the nickel back and I can undo
it."
'How does he know the word melodramatic, but can't
count to twenty?'
"And you wait until now to decide to give me a break?"
"Well actually, I would have done it an hour ago when
you bought me ice cream on the way to the restroom, you
remember..it was right before the spork incident."
'I thought that was the bathroom and you had to pay to
use it.'
"Why didn't you do it when I got you the ice cream?"
"I forgot."
"I'm going to-" before Vegeta could finish, the same
large woman with the mace used her taser on him.
"What did I say about those eyes!?"
Vegeta fished into his pocket and held the nickel out
for Goku, "Just do it before some thing else happens!"
Goku placed the nickel on his nose, 'I wish that I
didn't make my wish.'
"Done," Goku announced.
"We're done shopping," piped the wives.
"Good, let's go home." On the way to the exit, a
security guard spotted Vegeta and labeled him as
potentially dangerous.
"Excuse me, would you mind stepping over here?"
'Since the curse is gone I guess there's nothing to worry about.'
"Now spread your arms out."
'...'
The police officer began to "frisk" Vegeta. The man
slapped both hands against Vegeta's chest. Vegeta had
decided it was not amusing in the slightest, and
therefore threw the officer at incomprehensible speed.
The rent-a-cop, being one second searching a suspect,
the next sitting in a third world country, was very
confused.
"Guess I can't blame all bad things on other people."
The End