Author's Note: So I've been going threw something of a Princess Diaries kick of late. Probably due to the eleventh PD book being only weeks away from being readable. It's quite inspired me to get back into Michael's head and try and finish what I started in August 2011, which is the CracKing series, though we have now moved into the SkinnerBx Trials (Trials because of what a trial these fics have been, lol).
Hopefully those who are reading this, who have read my CracKing series, will see a difference, an improvement to my writing. Lol, one can only hope.
Anyway, please enjoy
Disclaimer: Obviously I am not Meg Cabot and I do not own Princess Diaries, the characters, setting or themes... I just enjoy borrowing them every once and awhile.
Six Feet under SkinnerBx
The Princess Diaries, Book 6 (Sixsantional or Princess in Training) by Meg Cabot
Saturday, September 5th (lol, my birthday... I never noticed this until I started writing this fic)
Covers pages 179 to 193
I sat on my bed in my dorm, reading, for the first time in over a week a work of pure fiction. I'm not usually into epic fantasy novels – sci-fi is by far more my thing – but this series was a gift from my parents (to read when I had some down time from classes, exams and assignments and so on) and so far, reading the first couple of chapters of first book, I admit I'm a little of impressed. Granted the whole reason behind my picking up and starting to read the book is due to my needing to calm myself down before my girlfriend arrives.
And I have, calmed myself that is, and now I feel a little stupid, what with having cooled my head down enough to actually sit and reflect some. It's actually more than a little embarrassing just how desperate I was (and still am) to see my girlfriend and how much offense I took over her being happier to spend time with her friends, who she's seen every day at school for the last week, over me, her boyfriend who she hasn't seen since last Sunday – and that doesn't really count because I had to send her home early due to jet-lag and her falling asleep against my shoulder. Not that I minded at all, not in the slightest, but it would have been bad for her neck and back if I had just left her there just so I could spend a little bit more time with her.
It's just… I've missed her and sometimes, at least this week, it has felt as if I've missed her more than she has actually missed me. And I guess I'm getting a little possessive of whatever (little) time I can spend with her. Which might be why I was so peeved when she told me that last night, she spent it with her friends in her own private hotel room in the Plaza, instead of you know, spending it with me.
Not, now that I've actually, you know, sat down and thought about it, like that was ever going to happen. Even if Mia had thought to invite me to come over to the Plaza and hang in her suite, I would so have been kicked out at eleven. Maybe one o'clock tops if Clarisse was feeling generous which seriously, when has that ever happened? The woman hates me more than she hates the homeless guys who sleep on the benches in Central Park.
So yeah, all my previous annoyance towards Mia is irrational and now I'm feeling kinda ridiculous and praying that I haven't upset her or made her angry with me for being a jerk to her earlier over the phone. Not that I don't deserve as much, her being angry with me that is but we spend so little time together that I don't want to spend this whole afternoon fighting over my jealousy of my sister being chosen over me when it came down to who Mia would rather spend a night with in her own private hotel suite.
My face twitched into a frown at the thought and I grumbled a little darkly under my breath before telling myself to just get over already and move on. She had sounded as if she had been having fun which of course was the main thing, her being happy. I just… I want Mia to be happy with me, because of me but that just sounds narcissistic now doesn't it?
The old landline phone beside my bed suddenly rang causing me to jump out of my thoughts and stare at it questioningly, almost accusingly. So far this week no one has called this phone, not for me, not for my room-mate, it has remained as silent as the dead… well expect for that one morning at the beginning of the week when some bastard rang every number in the dorm as a prank. Which I wouldn't have given a damn about if it hadn't been at five thirty in the morning. The witch-hunt for him (or her… or them. It could have been more than one person) is still on to my knowledge.
The phone kept ringing without any sign of stopping so with some reservation I picked it up.
"Hello…"
"Michael? It's me." I almost dropped the phone as her voice came crackling threw the receiver.
"Mia. Hey. You here?" I tried to sound relax and calm or at the very least casual, even though my heart was racing.
"Yeah, yeah. Lars and I are down in the lobby. They won't let us up though." She huffed, "we've signed in but…"
"I'll be right down." I interrupted her quickly, "Just… yeah, I'll be down in just a second. See you soon."
"See you soon." I could hear the smile in her voice as we both hung up. I threw my book down beside the phone and shot out of my room as if I were fired from the canon.
I dodged my way around the insanity and chaos that now makes up my everyday life. Even if I wished it didn't.
I always knew and grudgingly accepted that living on campus, sharing a room with another person was going to be difficult due to my not being a very social person, but damn, this is a whole new level of hell. I mean, alright my room-mate isn't so bad. He's actually even more of a recluse than I am which made things a bit awkward those first few days with neither of us talking but now, we're actually getting along fairly well, even if he has taken to calling me 'Mike' which I hate.
But anyway, just because I am getting used to having a room-mate doesn't mean I'm getting used to being stuck in close quarters with a hundred or so other people. Thank god, I managed to grab a room that has its own private bathroom.
Anyway, I dodged and weaved my way down to the lobby where Mia and Lars were standing by talking to the guy behind the security desk into letting Lars keep his gun on his person, due to him being, you know, the bodyguard to the next-in-line to the Genovian throne. Even from where I was standing by the stairwell I could make out just how red Mia's face was at having to admit, yeah, she really was the princess of Genovia and yes, she really was here to visit a college student living in this dorm and not to open some new lab or whatever.
"Hey." I said walking towards them, waving my hand above my head like a moron even though we were currently the only people in the lobby, so it wasn't like they were going to miss seeing me or anything. I dropped my hand quickly only to have, seconds later, my arms full of Mia.
I grinned into her hair as I hugged her close fighting the desire to chuckle as she buried her nose into my neck. I don't know what the appeal or the attraction is between her and my neck but whatever, it makes her happy… though it does tickle.
After a bit I was able to coax her face away from smelling my neck, or whatever it is she does when she has buried her face there to give her a very nice, very long hello kiss. She had been a bit tense when she first hugged me but with smelling (or whatever) my neck and me kissing her, I felt her completely relax against me and when we finally pulled away, she looked genuinely happy and relaxed. Red in the face, duh, but happy which is what I want, which is what I've always wanted, only wanted, when it comes to her.
"C'mon," I caught hold of her hand and together (with Lars behind us, smirking and giving me a subtle thumbs-up.) we headed for the fixed elevators. I mean, of course they would be fixed now, with the term having started and everyone has moved in. For of course they would be broken down on the day that everyone is meant to be moving into their dorms, meaning traffic jams in the stairwell and being all sweaty from having to lunge boxes of heavy books up three flights of stairs up to your room. I could see from Mia and Lars faces they were thinking similar things as we rode the short trip up to my floor, as opposed to being stuck in the stairwell for three quarters of an hour, holding heavy boxes of books waiting for the people ahead of us to get a move on.
The elevator opens into the student lounge where a whole group of guys (and girls too) were sitting with slack-jaws in front of the huge TV bolted to the wall. It was some sporting match or other (I think baseball maybe) but whatever, I don't care; point is, it did mean we lost Lars. Not that I don't like Lars or anything, it just, I want to spend some quality time with my girlfriend. Quality alone time. And a sports game on TV is a sure enough way of meaning I can spend such time with Mia away from Lars.
I pulled her down the hall towards my room, trying to block as best I could the, many, many near-naked guys in towels running up and down the corridor from her sight as I could manage (though I don't think I was very successful, given how red her face was by the time we reached my room).
Doo Pak, thankfully had not yet returned from the library of where he said he would be spending most of the day, so the room was as empty as I had left it.
I gave Mia a moment to look around, noting with some embarrassment the amount of books, CDs and computer equipment that I had scattered just about everywhere on my side of the room. It probably wouldn't have killed me to have cleaned up my side just a little before she arrived but oh well, too late now.
She pointed, with an amused twinkle in her eye at the Don't Even THINK About Parking Here sign that I had stuck onto the ceiling above my bed.
"I didn't steal it, I swear." I insisted with a grin causing her to roll her eyes back at me. Honestly I didn't, at least, not in the sense that I unscrewed it from the pole it had originally been attached to. No that part had already been done when I picked it up off the street. Yeah, maybe I could have handed it in or something but… it does look kinda cool above my bed.
"So," Mia said as she looked around the room again, "where's Doo Pak…" but honestly, and this may have been rude of me, but at that moment I didn't care where Doo Pak was, he wasn't here, Mia was. I was going to make up for lost time.
I sat myself down upon my bed before pulling her down beside me, her legs draped over my lap and her arms wrapped securely around my neck, I was quite happy to spend a nice long while getting reacquainted with her, her mouth, her legs, her body, her everything. And from the sounds of it, she was too.
Except of course, this was exact moment that Doo Pak decided to return from the library and Mia and I shot apart as if we've been electrocuted while Doo Pak stared back at us, his eyes blinking at us in an owlish fashion and his jaw hanging somewhat slack.
Swallowing my embarrassment, I stood up, Mia following my example, coming to stand by my side.
"Oh, hi, Doo Pak," I said as casually as possible, trying to ignore the fact that my ears and face too were burning and that a tiny voice at the back of my brain was cursing him to deepest pits of the Hellmouth for his insanely bad timing, "This is my girlfriend, Mia. Mia, this is Doo Pak."
I watched as Mia gave Doo Pak her best princess smile as she held out her right hand for him to shake. Unlike her grandmother, Mia does not expect for everyone she meets to kiss her hand upon introduction.
"Hello, Doo Pak. It's very nice to meet you."
He left her hand hanging.
He didn't say a word, didn't take her hand, he just stared from her to me and then back again. And then he laughed.
"That is very funny! How much is he paying you to play this joke on me, huh?" Oh god… Mia looked around at me, her eyes confused and a little wild, her offered hand dropping loosely to her side.
"Uh, Doo Pak," I started trying to remain calm and collected because seriously… what-the-hell? He knew I had a girlfriend. I told him that she, Mia, was coming over today to see me and possibly meet him, that is if he wanted to meet her, so why? "I'm not joking. This really is my girlfriend." And what the hell did you mean by 'paying'? Dude, seriously, you cannot just say stuff like that.
Doo Pak just kept on laughing, shaking his head. "You Americans are always playing jokes! Really, you can stop now."
I honestly didn't know what to say to that. He honestly thought that this was a joke? My being with… well, thanks man, no seriously thanks.
"Um," Mia's said, her eyes darting from me to Doo Pak, "Doo Pak, I really am Michael's girlfriend. My name's Mia Thermopolis. It's very nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you." She smiled again, this time it was one of her own smiles and not the one of the ones her grandmother taught her to give when dealing with the paparazzi or unwanted suitors. It fell from her face with Doo Pak falling on to his bed because he was laughing so hard he was unable to stand up anymore.
I didn't understand for a second what was going on or why Doo Pak was doing this because not only was he irritating the hell out of me with all the laughter and thinking that this was all one big joke but he was hurting Mia and already I can see her withdrawing into herself, the way she does now when things, people are being unkind towards her, either in person or through the media.
"No," Doo Pak was shaking his head, tears of laughter streaming down his face, "No, no. This is not possible. You…" He pointed at Mia who pressed herself closer to my side, "… cannot being going out with him." He pointed at me and I felt irritation rising to almost boiling point. Because seriously, I don't need this, I don't need my room-mate telling me what I'm already hearing almost every day from social media and her bloody grandmother. I don't need my room-mate telling me that my going out with Mia is impossible, that it shouldn't be.
"Doo Pak." I started using the voice that I solely use for Lilly (and alright maybe I've used it on Josh Richter, once or twice when he was being an arse, generally in regards to Mia)
"Seriously," Mia cut in quickly, "Michael and I have been going out for over nine months. I go to Albert Einstein High School, which is just down the street, and live with my mother and step-dad down in the Vill-"
"You stop talking now, please." I felt Mia stiffen against me before falling immediately silent. And if that didn't piss me off enough, Doo Pak telling her to 'Stop Talking' (which what the fuck? What right does he have to say that to her? Even if this had been some wacky, crazy as hell joke, he has no right to tell her not to talk, to stop talking! None!), he turned his back on her the best he could as he start whispering urgently to me, and only me, excluding her completely.
"Mike, come on." He was saying as Mia wiggled out from under my arm and ducked away to the bathroom (probably to write in her diary about this whole fucking mess), though not before I saw the hurt look she shot Doo Pak before closing the door which near made me what punch him.
"What the hell." I snapped back at him in as low a voice as I could manage.
"She's not your girlfriend," he insisted all the while shaking his head, "she can't be!"
"Excuse me?"
"She can't be! Come on Mike, who is she? Your sister's friend you paid to play a joke on me?"
"Doo Pak," I had given up on whispering by this point, "I TOLD you who she is. She's my GIRLFRIEND. Nobody is trying to play a joke on you." Doo Pak just gave me an incredulous look.
"But I don't understand Mike," Doo Pak had given up on whispering too, "Why would SHE go out with YOU!"
From where she had tucked herself away in our bathroom, I could hear Mia give a depressed little sigh and a small thud that I was guessing was her smacking her head against one of the bathroom walls. For a second I wondered how she was interpreting all this before wincing. I know Mia, I know how she is and that she will take Doo Pak's words as meaning that there is something wrong with her, rather than there being something wrong with me, which was exactly what he meant.
"I don't know…" I snarled back at him quietly, "Maybe because she likes me." Now he was looking at me as if I was insane.
"But… she's pretty and your-you're a…" he stuttered as he hunted for the right word to describe me.
"She also happens to be a princess too, if you want to throw that in against me as well." I snapped in response watching as his eyes boggled behind his glasses.
"She's the princess of Genovia." I explained with ill grace as he started to gag.
"You're going out with a princess? How?"
"Lucky." I was so done with this conversation, like a hundred per cent done.
"Seriously, Mike…"
"I am being serious," I growled, "Mia is my girlfriend. We've been going out for nine months and if you don't believe me… then fine. Don't. I actually don't care but…" he looked a little taken a back as I glared at him, "if you ever tell her… no, if you ever, ever order her to stop talking again, I'm beating you to a bloody pulp. Understood?"
He gave me a jerky nod and apparently the threat of beating him up was what did the trick for him to start believing and accepting that Mia was indeed my girlfriend.
We stood there, in this weird awkward silence for a couple of moments before Mia's head snuck its way cautiously out of the bathroom, her eyes wary and searching.
"Hey Mia." I said smiling because smiling is easy when I'm looking at her even though my insides are in turmoil and I'm now in a seriously bad mood, "Come here, lets," I shot Doo Pak a warning look, "let's try this again." We both watched as she tucked her diary away into her bag before moving cautiously to my side, her eyes downcast and teeth gnawing upon her bottom lip.
Without any prompting at all from me (and seriously if he hadn't started apologizing the moment Mia came to my side, I honestly would have hit him) Doo Pak apologized to Mia, his face red and filled with embarrassed shame.
"I am very sorry I did not believe you when you said you were Mike's girlfriend. You see," he darted a quick glance at me before continuing on with his apology speech; "you are much too pretty to be dating Mike. He is – what do you call it? Oh, yes – a nerd. Like me. And nerds like us don't get pretty girlfriends. So I thought he was pranking me. Please accept my very humble apologies for my mistake."
With every word he spoke my face grew redder and more embarrassed while Mia quietly gagged by my side. She stared from me to Doo Pak then back again, as if she was waiting for him or both of us to start laughing at her or something.
"The standards of prettiness," Mia started slowly in a low voice, "must be very different between South Korea and here." Doo Pak just looked at her in confusion while I fought back a groan. Of course she wouldn't take his words as a compliment, as back handed as they were. No, of course she would turn them negatively, negatively against her because despite what people have told her, the media, friends, family, me, she still believes that she isn't pretty, that she isn't beautiful. She only accepts that she isn't ugly and that's just about where her sense of self-worth, in regards to her image, peaks.
As Mia, in a quiet, subdue voice (I don't think she was quite over him telling/ordering her to stop talking) went about explaining that being a nerd in America is actually quite stylish and so on, I admit I actually zoned, not because I didn't want to listen to Mia, I did, I just… It's hard to explain. Anyway, while Mia talked about how Bill Gates, the King of the Nerds, was indeed married, I just sort of held her close to me and kept my face turned to her hair, kissing it occasionally and just soaked up her presence.
Finally Doo Pak left, after shaking Mia's hand enthusiastically and making her promise to bring over some of her girlfriends for him and some of the other guys, who classed themselves as being too nerdy for girls, to meet.
Mia muttered something about certainly trying before Doo Pak, thankfully excused himself to go down to the computer store to buy the latest version of Myst, which would hopefully occupy him for a couple of hours.
"Um…" Mia said as she looked up at me helplessly after Doo Pak had left as I flopped back on my bed with a groan, "he was… interesting." She was testing the word and you could tell her head was severely disagreeing with her mouth over that choice of word to describe Doo Pak. At that moment, I was severely agreeing with her brain. Interesting is definitely NOT how I am currently describing Doo Pak, politeness or kindness or cultural acceptance or whatever be damned.
"Michael?" She asked softly and I forced my temper to calm down.
"Nothing… I just wish that they," and by 'they' I mean those in charge of the dorms, "would let freshman have single rooms in the dorms, instead forcing us into having a room-mate."
"They probably think that by having freshman sharing rooms it will help fend off the home-sickness or something… maybe?"
"Optimist." But despite myself I smiled at her and some of the worry in her face melted away. "Sorry bout that." I took hold of her hands and pulled her into my lap, kissing her temple. She shrugged against me.
"He is right you know," I add softly causing her to look at me wildly, "you are very pretty. Far too pretty for your own good, really." She snorted at me and muttered something that sounded very much like 'yeah right'.
Now, I could have argued with her on this, gone on to say that she was the most beautiful girl in all the world, to me, but from the look on Mia's face and my own feelings, neither of us were in the mood for that particular argument so instead I asked her if she was hungry and wanted to get something to eat.
She nodded slowly and together we left my room to go and grab something to eat from the Campus Café.
Lars, when he glanced away from the big game of the TV and saw us standing there, he looked more than a little puzzled by both our quietness. I mean, seriously, while we're apart, Mia and I are, generally, fairly quiet people, but when we're together? It's pretty damn hard to shut us up. According to Lars, and there are quite a few people who agree with him on this too, the world could be ending and we, Mia and me, wouldn't have a clue because we'd be too busy talking about something or other. Probably Star Wars or maybe Buffy. So yeah, he looked mighty confused by our quietness and even, I think, maybe a little concerned.
But he didn't ask, he just followed as I led Mia (and him by default) to the John Jay Lerner Hall to grab some food.
Food helped, and after the first few bites we were talking like normal (Lars looked almost immediately relieved from where he was sitting a little way away, to give us some privacy). Mia gave me a proper run down of her first week of Year Ten, her impression of her classes and teachers, how much she truly didn't appreciate my sister's desire for her to run as Class President against her will and so. When she was done, I told her some more about college life (leaving out, of course, annoying room-mates). Then we got on to talking about inconsistency within the Star Trek universe, between the different series and within each series themselves.
We were basically back to our usual selves by the time we were finished dinner expect that Mia seemed to have this weird pinched expression that crossed her face whenever she thought I wasn't looking her way. And when I came back from paying for our food her face, when she looked up from her diary which she had been writing like a manic in every time I glanced her way as I stood in line waiting to pay and saw me coming, almost exploded with colour.
A part of me wanted to ask while the rest of me just said to leave it be. I know better now that anything Mia puts in her dairy, I'm gonna find out about sooner or later because she's either tells me or it ends up on the TV or in some newspaper (if not all of them) and she spends the next couple days looking like she's sun burnt. Point is, never push Mia for information that she isn't readily willing to give. Which usually, if she's written it in her diary, it will still be a little while before she tells me, so I let it go and ask her if she ready to head back?
We headed back to my dorm and Lars once more glued himself to the TV in the student lounge while Mia and I went on back to my room. Doo Pak wasn't there, thank god. Apparently, according to a note that Mia found from him stuck to the back of the door, he's gone to the library to see if he can find any girls who might be looking for a nerd-for-the-night.
I couldn't help but laugh as Mia read this to me as I hunted around for just the right CD to put on. I'm still determined to expand Mia's taste in music. And I'm actually not doing too badly in that area. Sure she still listens to some truly awful music but overall, her tastes have improved and her head is nodding along almost immediately to the music I've put on.
Not that I give her all that much chance to truly appreciate the CD I've put on and instead I catch hold of her hands and pull her on to my bed and settle down to have a true and proper make-out session. And at first, it was but after a while I could almost sense Mia was worrying about something, that something was eating at her so when she started squirming and pulling away, I let her, albeit reluctantly, knowing that I was probably about to find out whatever it was that had been bothering her so at dinner. Only what came out of her mouth wasn't at all what I was expecting. Not even in the slightest. No, I thought she was going to want to talk about Doo Pak's reaction to her, and me, and us being a couple. But nope…
"I AM NOT READY TO HAVE SEX."
Ok, I admit, my head went kind of blank at that. Before going straight to a place in my brain I don't usually like to tread… if only because it requires really long, really cold showers to calm down again. Then my head went, thankfully, blank again because seriously now would have been a really, really bad to… yeah.
I blinked at her couple of times to give my brain time to start, you know, functioning again, as well get my hormones under some control again. Because annoyingly, hormones don't need the brain to be functioning for them to be utterly insane. Anyway once I was sure my brain was working again, check, and my hormones were in some semblance of order (I was kissing my girlfriend, so they weren't completely under control in the first place) that would not have me needing to go take a cold shower before shrugging, and saying, "Ok," thinking, like the idiot that I sometimes (always) am when I'm around her, that that would be the end of it.
I wrapped my arms around her once more and when she didn't immediately start squirming away from me, settled down to kissing her again. That lasted for maybe a few moments before she was pushing me away and squirming to sit up.
"Michael, we need to talk."
I pushed myself too up so that we were now both sitting up on my bed and looked down at her in confusion, "About what?"
From the dim light cast from the bathroom I watched with curiosity (I wasn't concerned, not yet at least) as she struggle to find the right words to whatever was bothering her, her face once more a bright as a tomato.
"The condoms in your medicine cabinet?" she finally squeaked and my brain went blank again. Huh? The what in my what?
"The what?" I asked because seriously my brain doesn't particularly like to work hard during or after I've kissed Mia. Kissing Mia is like vacation-time for my brain and it takes a long time for it to really kick itself back into gear and get itself functioning to its usual level of coherency.
"Oh, those. Yeah." I rubbed a hand over my hair, shrugging, "Everybody got them. As we were moving in." because these dorms are co-ed, so precautions, "They were in that welcome pack they handed everyone at check-in."
It was at this point that my brain finally stirred itself into working to its full functioning capacity. Were we seriously having this conversation? Seriously? Well… shit…
"But," I continued much more alert to what we were actually talking about now, "even if I'd bought them, what's the big deal?" I pressed on quickly because I could just tell she was going to tell me, in her brain, exactly what the big deal was, "Is it wrong that I care about you and would want to protect you in the event we do make love?" because that will be what it will be. Not sex, but making love. Yeah, yeah, I'm romantic sap occasionally, though really, only for the girl beside me.
I twirled our fingers together, grateful that my words seemed to have calm, for the moment at least, the storm that had been blazing in her eyes. Of course, the calm was only the eye of storm and all too quickly the storm was back in full force. I bit back a sigh as she handed me back my hand, spluttering no, she thought that was a very good thing, it just that…
I settled back against the wall behind my bed and waited for the storm to blow itself out, all the while wondering who it was that had set it brewing in the first place. Honestly, I thought we would have a couple more months before she started freaking out about this but no…
A lot of what she said was just plain rambling, though I was able to pick up that the cause of storm was Lana (What a surprise. Though I admit it was a toss-up between her or Lil), something about someone named Wendell Jenkins and a Corn Princess? That part I didn't follow at all and honestly didn't try to. I did follow her worries over how easily her mom fell pregnant with both her and her little brother and that she was worried (scared out of her mind more like) that excessive fertility inheritable genetic tendency. She sort of left that one hanging, obviously not feeling the need to elaborate further on the if we had sex and I got her pregnant we'd both be dead. At least, we'd be dead if I got her pregnant at fifteen… when we're older, well that's another matter entirely… focus Moscovitz.
Anyway, so basically, she loves me but isn't ready to Do It yet… which I had kinda figured out, knew, understood that already.
I'm fairly certain that even with all she said, and she had said a lot, there was probably a whole lot more of which she wasn't ready to say, at least at this point. But she would tell me eventually, though hopefully she won't be quite so stressed and panicky as she is this time round.
Though to be fair, this is actually a pretty big step for her. A big step that, alright, she probably felt she was being pushed into taking it. You know, the whole talking about it and admitting she wasn't ready, but still, this is a huge step and honestly, it isn't all that surprising she has stressed herself almost to breaking point.
I knew she wasn't ready for sex. I knew she wasn't even really ready to be thinking about sex or sex with me, for jeez, another couple of months, maybe, but because she felt pressured – which usually lead to her brain taking huge and insane leaps – she had now worked herself up to this point.
"Well," I started slowly, just to make sure that she was indeed done and not just taking a moment to get her breath back so she could start talking again, "that's not actually a big surprise to me, Mia." Because it truly isn't. Her not being ready? Yeah, so not a surprise. However, for some reason she found it surprising that I didn't find it surprising.
"Really?" she looked more than a little confused and I couldn't help but roll my eyes back at her.
"Well," and this was the possessive, jerky side of me getting the better of me, "you made it fairly obvious where things stood when you invited all your girlfriends, and not me, over the minute you found out you had a hotel room all to yourself for the weekend." Her face twisted into a look of protest and I'm pretty certain my darling sister's name was about to escape Mia's mouth when, quite suddenly, her face just kinda fell and she looked so remorseful and horrified that I felt almost immediately gutted, as I always do, whenever I'm the cause of her grief.
"Michael, I'm so, so sorry. I never even – I mean, I didn't even…" ok, now I felt really, really bad.
"Michael, I really am sorry. Not just about that either. But the whole… well, everything." I swallowed down the obvious 'duh, of course I forgive you, now come here and calm down. Everything is going to be ok' response because I knew the moment those words left my mouth this conversation would be so over, though it would still be playing, now on both our minds.
So with a wince, I did something I usually really, really hate doing and try to avoid at all costs when I'm dealing with Mia and she is in one of these moods. I pushed.
"Fine," Even to my own ears that sounded unnecessarily harsh, "the question is, when ARE you going to be ready?"
It really weird how previously this hadn't bothered me, the whole Mia not being ready for sex, with me, thing. Seriously, I barely gave it a single thought apart from acknowledging that yeah, this was something that wasn't going to happening any time soon, but now, now that she, she has brought it up, and suddenly I needed to know.
"Ready for what?" she asked and I fought back the desire to roll my eyes.
"It."
I leant back on my wall and watched as her brain tried to catch up with the rest of the conversation and seriously it was kind of hard not to grin at just how badly her face burned when it finally did catch up. By the Force, she was so freaking adorable, even at moments like this and she's driven me up the wall and almost completely around the bend.
"Um,"
I kept leaning back, waiting because honestly I'd pushed her far enough already so I let her think, even though I knew that without a doubt, she was going to come up with some truly ridiculous answer. And, well, she didn't disappoint. And of course, Prom would be her answer. Her prom which, I would like to make clear here is in another three years…
And yeah, no to all the other stuff that's coming out of her mouth too. Seriously, who lets her read the books/watch the movies/TV series that she gives her these ideas?
A voice in my head snorted, she talking about sex, with you, and you're worried about where she's been picking up the ideas for aphrodisiac from, seriously?
I took a deep breath, spoke slowly and calmly as I answered, "One, I'm never going to the prom again and you know it," because she had opened her mouth to protest before closing her lips into a pout, "and two," and as much as this pains and bugs me to admit, "I can't afford the Four Seasons – which you also know. So why don't you give that answer another try."
"Look." I am. You're the only person I like, no love looking at for long periods of time. I'd have to be pretty dead not to be looking at you.
"Do I have to decide this right NOW?" Well… "I have a lot on my mind," and she was off and babbling again and yeah, I know what she's doing, that in her brain, she thought DELAY was the best strategy at this moment, but really I think I was about as ready as she was for the conversation to come to a close. Because as much as I want to DO IT with Mia, I want her to be happy about it and not utterly scared out of her brains at the prospect of it and feeling like she has to because… of whatever reasons her brain is telling her she has too.
"Can I take a rain check on this whole thing?" even though you're the one who brought it up?
"Absolutely." And she started to lean in to kiss; only being the special moron that Felix is always telling me that I am, I just have to go and add, "But just so you know, Mia, I'm not going to wait around forever." Which of course made her freeze just as her lips are barely touching mine
Oh fantastic job Moscovitiz!
I had said the words lightly, even jokingly but even so, they've gone straight to her brain to misinterpret and to panic over. Fuck…
"Um…" but whatever words she was going to say (or not say) were interrupted by a knock on my door and Lars's voice calling, "The game is over. It's after midnight. Time to go Princess." Which of course had Mia and I once more shooting apart from each other as if we were both zapped by a high voltage of electricity.
"Coming." Mia squeaked not quite looking at me as she tried to get her hair to behavior itself. I grinned as I moved to her side and ran my fingers through her locks which she let me do, letting me figure she isn't too upset over our talk.
Ok, so she probably is, knowing her brain as I do, but thankfully it seems that Mia's feelings for me have once again outweighed whatever negative thoughts her brain is currently having in regards to us, and she snuggles in my side willingly enough.
I walk her and Lars downstairs to the lobby. Campus rules are, that after midnight, students cannot leave the dorms, so I had to say goodbye to them there. So while Lars checked with Hans to see how far away he was, I caught Mia up into my arms and pressed my mouth against hers. She kissed me back willingly enough but I couldn't help but worry where her head was at but there was no way of asking her without making everything worse, so I let her go when Hans arrived, promising that we'd see each other soon. She gave me one of her tentative smiles before disappearing into the night leaving me to wonder if I might have been able to deal with our Talk just that bit better, or even just differently.
Running a hand threw my curls, I dragged myself back upstairs (I took the stairs instead of the elevator, I needed to clear my head), trying not to snort too loudly with amusement as I passed Doo Pak in the stairwell having a very serious conversation with a girl who looked absolutely delighted that he was talking to her.
I gave him a thumbs up before breaking into a near run up the remaining stairs, taking them three at a time. I wasn't out of breath by the time I reached my floor, hardly. Honestly I felt like I could have kept running and never stopped but I forced myself to go straight to my room and not simply run laps around the dorm. I wasn't tired but, after a quick shower, I put myself to bed.
I lay there wide awake well after Doo Pak had returned and gotten into bed himself and just stared up at my ceiling. By around three in the morning, I finally came to conclusion that I hadn't handled the Talk as well as I ought to have and that I would probably have to sit Mia down and get some of my own points across. I had heard almost all of her reservation and worries but hadn't gone into any details about how I truly felt on the matter. Which was that I was happy to wait for her to be ready.
Not forever of course, because hopefully Mia's hormones and desires will catch up to my own and she won't find the whole prospect of sex… utterly terrifying as she clearly does now. But one day, when she's ready and comfortable and happy within herself and of me, one day she will be mine. She is the girl I wanted, will always want. And one day she will be mine.
