A/N : okay so this is my first Flash fanfiction ever. I just wanted to share it and hope you'll enjoy. I just like writing and It's a college AU because why not ?

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in the Flash or anything related to its world.

prologue. the fall.

"the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special too."

Ernest Hemingway.

There was something too bright in his eyes, something too sincere in his smile. All of the sudden she was experimenting a rush of disturbing emotions; stronger than everything she ever felt before. Something in him, in his aura, that broke all her defenses and made her week at the knees. She felt inexplicably drawn to him; like a butterfly obsessed with light. She knew this whole thing was a bad idea. His plan -vicious, wicked plan- was hopeless and bound to fail. There was too many external factors that she couldn't control. Too many situations that she wouldn't anticipate. Too many people that could end up getting hurt. Her brain was screaming; begging her to turn around and stay away from him and his damn eyes.

Yet, her legs moved on their own; completely ignoring her brain's orders.

You can do this. You have to.

Taking a deep breath to find some boldness, she walked towards the loud table, trying her best to ignore his friends as they watched her, and stood right in front of him. When he looked at her, surprised by her sudden appearance, she found back that incredibly bright spark in his green eyes and instantly she felt a knot in her stomach.

Focus.

She decided to ignore the knot and every emotions that came with it just like she ignored the bad feeling that was slowly digging her skin and her chest. This whole thing was stinking. But, at this point, it didn't matter anymore. She had to do it.

"Ok."

He frowned, confused, so she cleared her throat, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"I'm in."

His smile grew bigger the second he realized what she was implying. Around the table, members of the track team exchanged confused looks but she didn't pay attention to them. Her eyes were only staring at him and once again, she felt like receiving a punch in the stomach.

Those damn eyes.

He nodded. His smile was making him look like a child that just received his birthday presents and she had to fight the urge to run away when he stood up and come closer. He noticed it though, because his big smile turned into an arrogant smirk and he stayed away from her personal space, leaving her breathe properly.

"So…"

She shook her head, glancing at the table behind him where all his friends from the track team were looking at them confused and curious. Too far to her anything of their conversation but too close for her to feel completely comfortable with the whole situation.

"Not now" Her voice was colder than she wanted and she smiled a little at him to compensate "see you in chemistry."

"As you want Caitlin Snow."

He smirked and she turned around before she could fall again in his emerald eyes.

This is a bad idea Caity. This is a really bad idea.

This whole thing was so not her style. When did she turned into this sad girl, desperate for revenge? How could she let the giant hole in her chest control her life like that?

And all of the sudden, she felt nauseous. Her knees began to shake and she quickly crossed the street and leaned on the grey wall of her student residence to stop her whole body from falling. In one second, the pain and anger that she had so cautiously locked in a corner of her mind, so far away from the surface, were hitting her. She was getting mad, her mind was chaos and the blood in her veins was boiling.

Breathe.

He was right. This plan will serve both of them. It was time for her to find back who she really was. Time to let all that pain and humiliation behind her. Time to take back control.

Her life, her mind -her whole world- had burnt. But she was a Phoenix. She will rise from the ashes.