Alyss Ashworth: So, hello all! This here is a mighty fine bit of crack that the lovely Eggplantdance and I have been working on for a while! Actually I think…it's been like half a year…which is really sad considering it's just a oneshot and all. But, we've been really busy with school and stuff so I guess it's all good. ANYWAYS GUYS-I really hope you enjoy this! I had so much fun just being ridiculous while writing this story, so expect lots of lawls and stupidity. This is also probably one of the last fics I'm going to write and post on here, and I'm actually really happy about that! IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME. So enjoy!
Eggplantdance: Yep! We went back and forth working on this story for a while and had sooooo much funnnn! Ash is probably the most ridiculously fun character to write as, so we hope you enjoy it! This is pure crack, silliness, whatever so don't take it too seriously. And this may be posted on my account, but I only wrote part of it (kudos if you can figure out who wrote what parts bahaha), so make sure to check out Alyss's page too! She's got some supah fly stories on there. ALRIGHT BAI HOPE YOU LIKE! AAML FOREVA TROLOLOLOL! xD
~~(^^^)~~
The Return…OF THE GS BALL! DUN DUN DUNNNN!
I, Ash Ketchum, Pokémon Master (in training), had been defeated by boredom. Shocking, right? I'm not usually one to be defeated by anything, but, hey, not even the Chosen One can withstand the captivating clutches of such a seductive temptress. I heard Brock say that once. Does that work in this context? Maybe?
Well, either way, I was bored out of my mind. That's one thing I hate about being home between journeys. There is absolutely nothing to do! Plus my mom's always nagging me about cleaning my room and other stupid chores. But I've always figured that if I did clean my room, Mr. Mime would just get really sad 'cause I'd be stealing its job.
And I'm Ash Ketchum! I live to please the pokémon of the world! Wait…that came out wrong…
So eventually, I got tired of staring at my bedroom ceiling so I rolled off the bed with a yawn, nearly colliding with my desk chair, and trudged to my closet in hopes that there would be something entertaining hidden inside.
Pikachu, who was lookin' pretty comfortable snuggled up on the floor in a pile of my dirty clothes, shot me a skeptical look.
I shrugged back and turned the doorknob. I swung open the door and was promptly knocked over by a raging avalanche of stuff pouring out on top of me!
Funny. My closet can learn Tackle attack, but I can't even get my dang pikachu to evolve!
With a pained groan, I clawed my way out from underneath a mountain of old shoeboxes full of manga books and pokémon cards only to find myself tangled up in a whole bunch of orange fabric.
After a minute of wrestling around and stretching, I was finally able to poke my head and arms through with a gasp.
"Jeez…stupid closet," I muttered, standing up and brushing myself off, glaring at the now cluttered floor.
Of course, my mother chose that opportunity to come rushing in.
"Ash, what was that huge crash?" she asked from the doorway but soon let out this weird, high-pitched, worried….squeal and started running at me with her arms outstretched.
"Oh, baby!" she cried.
I sweatdropped. "H-Hey, Mom, I'm alright! My closet just exploded on me, that's all!"
Wincing, I braced myself for what was surely gonna be a crazy flying hug-tackle….but…she ran right past me! Right to Pikachu, no less!
I let out a loud, "WAAHHH!" and faceplanted into the floor in disbelief.
She was fawning all over the little jerk, cooing things to it about how I was a "meaniehead trainer to let it get buried in all sorts of filthy closet junk."
I decided not to mention the fact that it had been sleeping on my dirty clothes to begin with.
Finally, five minutes later, my dear mother looked up at me, a stern expression chiseled into her face.
Suddenly, her eyebrows shot up as she looked me up and down.
"What?" I asked, frowning.
"Ash, why are you wearing that dress?"
"Huh?" I looked down.
"WAAAAHHH!"
Turned out the orange fabric from earlier had been the old "Ashley" dress I'd worn to get into Erika's gym way back in the day. I guess my disentanglement hadn't been so successful…hehehe.
My face turned bright red and I glared at her and Pikachu.
My mom was busy chuckling and chuckling like it was the most freakin' amusing thing in the whole world.
As if I did it on purpose! Che…
Pikachu had started laughing too, rolling around on the ground and pointing at me with an obnoxious, "Pikapi-PIKA!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, fixing my supposed "pika-pal" with the most intimidating death stare I could muster. I seriously didn't know what it was supposed to mean though. I never understand what Pikachu's saying half the time.
Of course, no one answered me. I'm the Chosen One, for cryin' out loud! You'd think I'd get at least some respect around here.
My mom just stood up and patted me on the shoulder with a shake of her head as she walked out of the room, carefully shuffling through the mess on the floor.
"Clean this up, Ashton," she said as she left. "And be careful with poor Pikachu!"
"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled. "Be careful with poor Pikachu!" I mocked in a high-pitched voice once I was sure she was out of earshot.
"I heard that, Ashton!"
Oops.
With a sigh, I plopped down onto the floor to begin sifting through the mess.
'Least I wouldn't be bored anymore. Although, I think I'd rather be bored than do this cleaning. Where's ol' Brocko when you need him, right?
"This is all your fault, Pikachu!" I mumbled just for the heck of it as I rummaged through the pile. "If you weren't so cute and cuddly, then maybe my mom wouldn't have-ooooh! Shiny!"
I paused mid-sentence as light glinted off something gold….or was it silver…? Maybe it was gold and silver… Ah well, it was super shiny and that's all that matters!
I reached down and, to my surprise, pulled a beautiful, metallic…pokéball out of the clutter. The top half was gold, the bottom silver, and there was a mysterious, cryptic-looking "GS" etched into it just above the button.
"Wowww…" I breathed, turning it over in my hands. Its small orb shape was cool to the touch and seemed to radiate a sort of power from within. Maybe it was just 'cause I was holding it, but still. I could tell it was special.
Not to mention…familiar…. Hadn't I seen this thing before?
Pikachu began flailing and babbling as I examined the ball, gesturing wildly at the "GS" etching on the front.
I swatted its paw away. "Pikachu, cut it out! I'm trying to figure out what this GS ball is."
Suddenly, I stopped, eyes widening as it dawned on me.
"Holy Ho-oh, Pikachu, this is the GS Ball, isn't it."
I had just enough time to notice Pikachu facefault and fall over before I lost it.
"Ah, DIGLETT!" I swore, reaching up to rake my hand through my hair.
Never in a million years did I think I'd ever see this thing again, much less have it fall out of my closet!
I don't tend to forget a lot of things (at least, that's what I tell myself), but for pokéblock's sake, I thought the whole world forgot about that failed attempt at a plot device!
"Gahhh, Professor Oak is gonna kill me!" I whimpered, and, standing up, began pacing the room.
It had been at least three or four years since Kurt gave it back to me. And longer still since the Professor started researching it.
I was about as screwed as a charmander in a swimming pool.
And so, I did the only thing I could think to do at the time.
I called Misty.
Frantically, I opened up the video chat on my computer, scrolled through my list of contacts, and clicked Misty's name about six times before it started calling.
"C'mon, Misty, answerrrr, please!" I whined, tapping my finger on the desk impatiently.
Finally, Misty's image appeared on the screen.
I didn't even let her get a word in before I was shoving the GS Ball up to the screen with a panicked, "Look what I found in my closet, Misty!"
She paused, clearly giving me the once-over and frowned. "Your sexual orientation? Is there something you wanna tell me about Gary, Ash?" she asked with a smirk, eyeing my clothes once more.
I looked down.
Crap.
Yep, I'd forgotten to take off the dress.
Quickly, I grabbed the hem and pulled it over my head, struggling to get my arms out of the tight sleeves. (Heh. Guess I was more muscular than I thought!)
After a minute of grappling, I wriggled my way free, tossed the dress on top of Pikachu (the muffled "Pika!" gave it away), and whirled around to face the screen again.
For the third time that day, I found myself being laughed at, this time by Misty. Three times too many if you ask me.
I felt my face heating up.
"No, Misty, I don't want a sex change or whatever! And why is everything always about Gary?" I stammered, feeling more embarrassed when she started laughing even harder, rocking back and forth in her chair as she wiped tears from her eyes.
As I watched her, I couldn't help but notice that her flaming red hair had gotten longer and was pulled straight back into a ponytail instead of the side one she used to wear. It looked….nice.
I stopped myself. Whoa. Why had I even noticed that to begin with?
I thought about it for all of two seconds before shrugging it off.
She'd noticed I was wearing a dress. Guess we were even.
"Misty, this is serious, come on!" I called out, wishing I could reach through the screen and give her shoulders a shake. "I found the GS Ball and I don't know what to do with it! You have to come to Pallet and help me!"
She eventually regained her composure and raised an eyebrow at me.
"Why do I have to come? What about Brock? Pewter's closer anyway!" she retaliated.
I let out a groan. "Brock's probably busy! He's got better things to do, like take care of his siblings! Besides, he's a gym leader, remember?" I pointed out, drawing out the words "gym leader" for emphasis.
Misty huffed. "And what am I? A turkey sandwich?"
Right on cue, my stomach rumbled. "Oooh, yum! That sounds good about now….but no!" I had to snap myself back to the matter at hand. "You're like….a water ballet dancer slash aquarium keeper slash front desk person!"
Misty just blinked at me before blandly stating, "I'm hanging up now."
"NO!" I shouted desperately. "I-I didn't mean that! Please, it'll be fun! We can try and open it! Or we can try and figure out what this mysterious 'GS' stands for!" Eagerly, I held the gold and silver ball up to the screen for her to see again.
I could've sworn I heard her mumble something that sounded suspiciously like, "Gay Satoshi," but at that point, I could've cared less.
If she wasn't buying it, then it was time for my secret weapon.
I turned away for a second, then looked back up at her, my eyes transforming into big, shimmery jigglypuff eyes of kawaii fluff.
"Please, Mist?" I whimpered, lower lip trembling strategically. "For me?"
I could see her steely resolve crumble right before my eyes. Excellent! I tried to keep a smug grin from marring the "kawaii" effect.
The corner of Misty's mouth twitched, and the wrinkles between her eyebrows smoothed. Just a few more seconds and…
"Damn you and your jigglypuff eyes, Ash!" Misty sighed, her head falling into her hands. Success!
"So I'll see you here in an hour or so?" I asked her triumphantly. No one could resist the Ketchum charm!
"Yeah, fine," Misty grumbled. "I just have to let Daisy know that she's in charge of the gym for the rest of the day. Although," she looked thoughtful, "maybe I should just say it's closed…I just made a fresh batch of badges, and I really don't want to make another for at least a couple of months so-"
"Whatever, as long as you come," I cut her off.
Misty raised her brows. "So eager to see me, Ashy-boy?" Her tone was taunting, but the smile on her face was genuine. "Alright, keep your pants on. Or your dress. Whichever you prefer these days."
"I don't like to-" I started to protest angrily. Misty simply winked and logged off, leaving me ticked and with no one to yell at but my reflection in the blank computer screen. I made a face at the screen before turning my attention elsewhere.
I picked up the GS Ball and tossed it up and down. "Okay, GS Ball," I told it. "Let's see how well you and your mysteries can hold up to the awesome tag team that is Ash Ketchum and his lovely assistant, Misty!"
"Pii. Chu, pikachupi?" Pikachu hopped up onto my shoulder.
I frowned, trying to translate. I'm pretty sure 'pikachupi' is Misty so…
"Why did I call Misty my lovely assistant?" I asked my buddy.
"Chu!" The yellow mouse chirped in agreement.
"Isn't that what the sidekicks are always called?"
"Chaaa," Pikachu slumped forward and slowly slid down my shoulder. "Pika, chu pikachupi pika."
"Sure," I replied, too absorbed in the shiny GS Ball to pay any more attention to Pikachu and its ramblings. "What do you think 'GS' stands for, Pikachu?" I questioned excitedly. "Maybe…Growlithe's Sleepy! Like, a growlithe could be in there…and it's sleepy…yeah, I know that one sucks, Pikachu, thanks. Maybe…maybe it stands for Grand Something! That would make sense! Because it's such a fancy pokéball." I turned it over and over in my hands, admiring the craftsmanship. Hehehe, it really is shiny…
"Gold and silver," I murmured to myself. "Wow. Whoever made this musta had some serious cash! Maybe they were a pokémon master…and they needed a special pokéball for their best pokémon…"
"Ash!" My mom called from down the hall. "Was that Misty I heard on the phone?"
"Yeah," I yelled back. "She's coming over for the afternoon."
My mom appeared in the doorway, hat in one hand and purse in the other. Mr. Mime hovered anxiously at her back. "Then you need to buckle down and clean this room before she shows up, mister!" She informed me with that 'no-nonsense' tone.
I rolled my eyes. It's not like Misty would be surprised if she saw my room like this. She already thinks I'm a slob. But I guess it would be better to clean it up so she wouldn't have the opportunity to tease me about it.
"Fine," I comply. "Are you going out?"
"Yes!" Mom smiled cheerfully. "I'm off to do some shopping in Viridian. Have a nice time with Misty, sweetie!"
She turned and left, but stuck her head back in a second later. "And don't do anything inappropriate together while I'm gone, got it? I don't care what your hormones are telling you; you're too young for that kind of stuff!"
"What kind of stuff?" I asked, confused. Wait, who's telling me something? My hormones? But wait…Brock told me those were things inside your body…
"That's my boy!" Mom beamed at me and left.
Seriously. What was she talking about?
I shrugged it off and looked at my messy room with a sigh. There was no way all of this was going to fit under my bed. I eyed my closet speculatively.
Hmm. If it all fit in there once…
~~(^^^)~~
"Hey Ash-ohhhh."
I turned to see Misty standing awkwardly in the doorway, half in and half out of the room. I froze, my arms still in the shirt I was taking off.
"Uhh," I said dumbly as Misty's eyes latched onto my naked chest. Mew, this was pretty embarrassing. Wait, why was it so embarrassing? She'd seen me without a shirt on before!
"Oh," Misty seemed to realize she had been staring. I made a mental note of that. Biceps? Check. Awesome abs? Double check. Nice work, Ketchum. I have no clue what you're doing, but keep it up!
"I was just checking to make sure you didn't get that sex change," Misty said breezily. She came and sat on my bed, looking at me like it was no big deal. Which, I guess it wasn't. It must have been especially hot in my room though, 'cause her face was kinda red.
"I got hot and gross putting all my stuff away," I told her by way of explanation. It was true, too. Who knew cramming junk into a closet could make you sweat so much?
"So where is the GS Ball?" Misty asked excitedly. Ha! I knew she secretly really wanted to come and see it. Well, that and my jigglypuff eyes probably helped. The irresistible Ketchum charm, remember?
I grabbed the ball from its place on my desk (I had put it there to make sure I didn't toss it back into the closet. See? And you all just assume I'm dumb. How's that forethought for ya?) and tossed it to her. She caught it easily and began to examine it.
"Hmm," I watched as she tried to pry it open with her fingernails. "This is going to be tough to open. If I remember correctly, not even Kurt, the guy who makes pokéballs, could open this!"
"Yeah," I threw myself on the bed next to her. "And that's why you're here."
"Aw, I'm touched," Misty said, sounding pleased. "You knew that a task as difficult as this would require my brains and creativity, huh?"
"Sure," I said, drawing out the word. "And I figured if you got annoyed enough at it for not opening, you could just hit it with your mallet and that would work."
I didn't even see her move as a hand smacked me in the back of the head, nor did I see the floor until it met my chin with a rather harsh greeting.
"Ouch! Was that really necessary?"
"Yep." Misty stood up. "Let's take this downstairs. Then we can brainstorm different ways on how to get it open."
I followed her out of my room, rubbing my still aching head and jaw. Why does she always have to smack me around? What was it that Nurse Joy said? You hurt the one you love the most? Pfft. Sure, and Team Rocket doesn't try to steal my pikachu every day. If she really liked me, she'd be admiring my toned body.
Wait, she already did that.
Wait…
Aaaannnndd that's enough thinking for one day.
"Earth to Ash! Come in, Ashy-boy!" Misty snapped her fingers under my nose. I blinked. Oh. We're in the kitchen now. We were going to open the GS Ball. Riiiiggghhht.
"So, I was thinking we should try methods that are least damaging to the GS Ball first." Misty swept some letters off the table and put the GS Ball in the middle. "You know, just in case Professor Oak finds out you still have this thing and that you've broken it beyond repair."
"I won't break it!" I whined. "And once I open this thing, he'll be so impressed that he won't remember I never gave it back to him." Hopefully. And even if I don't open it, I can just toss it back in my closet. The professor's not getting any younger, and his memory certainly isn't improving. If the majority of people who watch this show don't remember the GS Ball, then I highly doubt the old geezer does.
"Once we open this thing," Misty reminded me, rather snootily I thought. It's not like the GS Ball fell out of her closet! "So, how about we try using this like a normal pokéball and call out for a pokémon?"
"Didn't we already try that?" I asked, scratching the back of my head.
"Probably." Misty picked the GS Ball up. "But that was when we were kids. If there is some kind of legendary pokémon in here, I doubt it would listen to a bunch of tweens. Now, I'm a well respected gym leader!" A confident smirk appeared on Misty's face. "So let's go, GS BALL!" She stuck her arm out dramatically, posed as if she were going to battle the Greatest Master of All Time (me).
We waited a couple of seconds for something amazing to happen. A huge burst of light, some magical music, or even better—a pokémon.
Nothing happened.
"Let me try." I snagged the ball outta Misty's hand and flipped my hat around. She gave a small "hmmpf!" of annoyance, but I ignored it. "Obviously, it takes a master to call out this pokémon. Ready—Go, GS Ball!"
I raised the ball up to the ceiling, my feet planted in a power stance and a grin on my face. I could feel the power coursing through me, and I just knew something crazy awesome was going to happen. Any minute now…
"On to plan B," Misty decided, scratching something off a list she just made.
"Just wait one more moment!" I argued. "I think I feel something, like that time when-"
"Just because you happen to be in the right place at the right time and happen to save the world like ten times in a row doesn't mean you can do everything, Ash!" Misty snapped, snatching the GS Ball back.
"Aw, jealous that I get to have all the cool adventures, Misty?" I teased her lightly.
"No!" She retaliated loudly. "Well…sorta…I don't know. I guess I miss it. And I worry…" she trailed off.
"Huh? What was that last part?" I asked her, drawing near.
"Nothing! I have something else we can try!" Misty shook her head like she was shaking off water. "Okay, let's try rubbing it."
"Rubbing it?" I repeated. "What the heck will that do?"
"Didn't you read fairytales as a kid?" Misty sniped back. She grabbed a dishcloth from by the sink and began to rub small, gentle circles into the pokéball. "Magic lamps, magic mirrors—all you had to do was give'em a shine and wa-lah!"
"…"
"…"
"Mist, that didn't work either."
"Well I don't see you coming up with any bright ideas, Mr. Pokémon Master!" Misty said irritably. "What do you propose we do?"
"Umm…" I looked about the kitchen, hoping something would jump out and present itself as a viable method of cracking this thing. I eyed the oven, recalling a traumatic event from my youth. "We could try…microwaving it?"
"Microwaving it?" Misty asked. I didn't have to look at her face to know she was eying me with disbelief. "That…doesn't sound particularly safe. For the GS Ball or the microwave."
"Aw come on, Mist!" I rolled my eyes. "It's not like it's a twinkie and will blow up or something!"
"I didn't think it would blow up per-say but-WAIT!" Misty whirled on me. "You put a twinkie in the microwave and made it blow up?"
"Umm, yes?" I asked, trying to edge away from her subtly.
"Aaaash!" She moaned. "I wanted to do that with you! That was one of the few stupid things I was going to indulge myself in!"
"Uh, sorry?" I tried. Oops...I forgot that she had asked me to let her know when I was gonna do that… "At least now you're with me when we microwave the GS Ball!"
"Fine," Misty pouted. "But I don't see how microwaving it is going to help."
"Maybe it will like, respond to the warmth," I said excitedly. "Like how a mother swellow sits on her eggs to hatch them!"
Misty tapped her fingers against her lips, thinking over my scheme. "Crazy," she murmured. "But why the hell not. Let's get cooking!"
A minute later, we had the GS Ball in the microwave on a paper plate, looking quite delicious I might add! Who knew a metal sphere could look so tasty!
"How long do you think we should put it in for?" I heard Misty ask.
"Ten minutes maybe?" I mumbled with a shrug, still fixated with the ball's shiny goodness.
A flick on the side of my head snapped me out of it.
"Ash, we are not putting it in for ten minutes! Do you want to start a fire?" she snapped.
I did not appreciate her sass, however warranted it was.
"No, Misty. It's just, who knows how long it'll take to hatch! Every egg is different and as mother swellows trying to raise a happy healthy chick, we need to incubate it sufficiently!" I smirked. Big language oughta teach her.
She just blinked. Seriously, did nothing floor this woman? Gahhh!
"Ash, we are not mother swellows and this is not an egg," she stated, speaking really slowly like I was a two year old or something. "Now I'll compromise and put it in for five minutes, but if anything starts to spark, we're taking it out right away." For a second, she furrowed her brow again before taking a pokéball off her belt and releasing her starmie.
I raised an eyebrow in her direction and she rolled her eyes.
"Just taking extra precautions…" she said, giving her pokémon a pat.
Shrugging, I closed the door to the microwave and set the timer. I made it so my finger hovered dramatically over the 'Start' button for a minute while I hummed the gym battle theme before Misty whacked me and told me to start it already. Jeez! Does no one appreciate proper theatrics anymore? Oh wait…besides Team Rocket hehe.
So I pressed the button the boring way, and we both watched as the ball started to spin around on the plate.
It spun….and it spun….and it spun. For the whole five minutes. Without doing. Anything. No sparking, no mystical light, no pokémon, no nothing! Talk about a rip-off!
"Urghhh, see Misty?" I cried once the timer went off. "We should've put it in for ten minutes! You never listen to me."
And grumbling, I threw open the door and grabbed the ball, ignoring Misty's yammering about how it might be too-.
"HOOOOOOOTTTT!" I screamed, dropping the ball and waving my burnt hand around frantically. "WAAAAAHHHHH!"
Quickly, I tried to make my way to the sink when suddenly, I heard Misty yell, "Water gun!" and next thing I knew, I was completely drenched in Starmie spit.
I spluttered, peeling my hair away from my eyes as I turned to glare at her with as much strength as a pathetically soaking wet person can muster.
"Was that really necessary?" I asked, scowling as I realized my dripping was slowly making a smaller version of Lake of Rage (my rage to boot) on the kitchen floor.
But all she did was let out a little evil giggle before recalling her starmie with a sugar-sweet, "Nice work!" Whyyy does no one answer me anymore, that's what I want to know!
Still pouting, I bent down to pick up the GS Ball, which I'd dropped while I was flailing. I tapped it a few times quickly, just to make sure it wasn't still a freaking fireball of doom. Luckily, it wasn't so I picked it up and slammed it down on the kitchen counter with an irritated "hmph!"
Honestly, the nerve of that woman!
And that water was cold too! 'Specially 'cause I still wasn't wearing a shirt. Not the most pleasant experience.
But wait….I think Brock told me something about this before. That girls like wet shirtless guys.
Hmmmm…..
I looked down at myself for a second just to make sure I still filled both those categories.
Check aaaaand check. So I did my best to look as blooming…no wait…I mean brooding (yeah that's the word) as possible. Maybe then she'd notice my toned body again and actually listen to my ideas.
Not sure why noticing that would matter though…..umm…...nope, not goin' there. Brain hurts.
She had started writing something down on the list again, not paying any attention to me so I huffed out a breath in annoyance and grabbed the dishcloth. Taking off my hat, I ruffled the cloth through my hair quickly to help dry it off, muttering to myself all the way.
But then I realized how fun it is to spike your hair up into a mohawk when it's wet. And mine's pretty long so it works really well. Yeahhhh just pull it up in the front like that andddd….
"Ash! Ash! Dammit, quit messing with your hair and listen to me, will you?"
Oh right. Misty. The GS Ball. Gotta stay focused.
Once I'd directed my attention back at her, she rolled her eyes before scooting the list closer to me on the countertop, pointing out her additions.
"We've been pretty gentle with it so far so it might be time to start using force to try and open it," she began.
"What, you mean like smash it open?" I asked, throwing the dishcloth over my shoulder and leaning in close to peer at what she'd written.
Misty nodded with a shrug. "Well yeah." I noticed that she paused and looked at me for a second. Was it just me or was her face all red? Don't tell me she's mad at me again…
But she continued, "There's gotta be some way to break it…."
She trailed off and tapped the pencil against the paper several times, frowning as she twirled a finger through her hair in thought.
"Uh huh," I agreed dumbly, staring at her all the while.
Her hair really did look nice. Real soft.
"Or we could try getting Pikachu to thundershock it!" she exclaimed, turning to me suddenly.
I blinked for a moment until I finally remembered what we were talking about.
"Umm, but Mist, what if there really is a pokémon inside? Wouldn't that hurt it?" I stopped, trying to think of a more humane way to deal with it. Because a true Pokémon Master should probably try and advocate stuff like that.
"What if we sang to it?" I blurted out after a minute. "Music always seems to have an effect on pokémon! You remember Melody and her flute, right? She played that awesome song and everything was right with the world!" I stopped myself from making another Chosen One comment. Self-control, that's right.
But she looked upset, narrowing her eyes and staring pretty intensely at this one spot on the counter, her hands still fiddling with her hair (though a bit more aggressively this time).
"Music doesn't always work, Ash. It's not that great," she spat out.
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Aw come onnnn! Lemme just try it, then we'll go with your ideas, promise."
She didn't reply so I took that as a "Sure, Ash! That plan sounds swell!" and turned to pick up the GS Ball again, still pretty amazed at that thing's shininess.
I glanced at Misty but she was still looking away so I shrugged and cleared my throat, holding the ball up to eye level.
"It's okay, Ball! You can feel free to open up to us. You know why? Well it's because…." I paused, taking a deep breath with a smirk before belting out this random song I used to listen to when I was a kid.
"You've been such a good friend/I've known you since I don't know when/We got lots of friends but they come and go/Even though we never said it/There's something that the two of us both know!"
Misty still looked pretty pissed though so at that point, I reached over and slung an arm over her shoulders, swaying back and forth a bit to the tune. If I could get her laughing, that'd be good. A happy Misty is a good Misty. And not a likely-to-pummel-me Misty.
"TOGETHER FOREVER! NO MATTER HOW LONG! FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME! Take it away, Misty!"
What I wasn't expecting was a fist to the head. Which quickly turned into a headlock. Which then proceeded to become an atomic noogie. Which ultimately led to the both of us tumbling to the floor, me curled in a fetal position to shield myself and the GS Ball from any harm.
"Alright, alright! I'll stop with the singing! It wasn't working anyway! Just, don't be maddd!"
What I really wasn't expecting was to hear her start laughing.
I risked a peek through my fingers, and sure enough, Misty was kneeling on the floor next to me cracking up!
I couldn't help but smile, sitting up slowly and joining her in her amusement.
Y'know, we really should hang out more often. I hadn't realized how much I missed the sound of her laugh.
After a few minutes, we both quieted down, still giggling now and then as we stood up.
"Ash, we should probably just take that thing to Professor Oak. I mean, if we're honest, hopefully he won't be too mad that you forgot about it," Misty said, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the counter.
I sighed, smoothing my hair down a bit, and shoved my hat back on my head. "Yeahhh, you're probably right. Out of everyone, he'd be the one to know how to open it…" But suddenly, another thought dawned on me. "Unless, we got Tracey to help us first. He still works for the professor, you know."
Misty blew out a breath, eyebrows shooting up. "He still hasn't gotten a life then, has he," she mumbled before raising her voice again. "Well, what could Tracey do to help?"
I paused. How could Tracey help us?... I really couldn't come up with many ways. And that's not just 'cause it was me doing the thinking either.
Eventually, I just gave up and said it would at least delay Professor Oak's wrath.
She nodded regretfully. "Yeah, I'll give him that. Okay. Looks like we'll be paying Tracey a visit then."
~~(^^^)~~
About a half hour later, Misty and I were standing outside of the Professor's lab, hammering on the door and hollering for Tracey.
Usually it only takes me like ten minutes to jog up to the lab, but I had to dry off first thanks to someone who will not be named, and then I had to find a clean shirt and shorts to throw on, and then Misty refused to run 'cause she's wearing flip-flops. Psh, lame excuse. I bet I could run in flip-flops! Nothing slows Ash Ketchum, the Greatest Pokémon Master Ever down!
"Tracey!" Misty yelled. "We know you're in there! It's not like you actually have a life or anything better to do! Let us in!"
"That's a little harsh, don't cha think Mist?" I gave her a sideways glance.
"It's called tough love, Ash," she informed me with a superior air.
Tough love huh? I'm no stranger to that. I have five years of bruises that can back me up on it.
"Coming! I'm coming!" Tracey's voice filtered weakly through the wooden door. Soon after, we heard a click and the door swung open, revealing our old friend and traveling companion, Tracey Sketchit.
Hehe. Sketchit. That's kinda fitting since he's a pokémon watcher, drawer, or whatever. I wonder if he just made that name up?
"Wow, it's really good to see you guys again!" Tracey laughed jovially and pulled us into a huge bear hug. My cheek got smushed up against Misty's and we both got a nice mouthful of green cotton.
"It's nice to see you too Trace," I gasped out. "It'd be even better if we weren't getting strangled though."
"Oh, sorry!" Tracey laughed again and let us go.
"Jeezum Tracey, missing human contact much?" Misty put a hand to her chest and took several deep breaths.
"Well, you know, it gets lonely out here." Tracey's eyes glassed over as he looked off into the distance, the smile quickly falling off his face. "The professor's always at some conference. Gary works mostly in the field. It's just me here…me and the pokémon…"
Misty and I looked at each other before following Tracey's gaze to see just what the heck he was looking at.
"Umm, hey Tracey. What are you staring at?" I asked cautiously. Man, this guy really does need to get out! Some trees and a couple of rattata can't be that interesting!
"An old man, an old man with a sketchbook full of longlost hopes and dreams."
"…"
"So we have an issue." Misty shoved Tracey backwards and strode through the doorway, clearly done with Space-Trace and his weird ramblings. I walked in after her, patting Tracey comfortingly on the shoulder. I would visit the guy more often, but I'm….extremely busy. Traveling and being amazing and all.
"What sort of issue?" Tracey seemed to shake off whatever was bothering him and led us into the living room, continuing on to the kitchen to make us some sandwiches. At least, I hope he's making us some sandwiches. I'm really hungry right now!
"You guys want something to eat?" Tracey called back to us. "I was just making some lunch. I could whip up a couple of sandwiches or something."
Ho-oh be praised! "Tracey, if you made me sandwiches, I would love you forever," I promised him fervently.
Tracey just chuckled, but Misty snorted and rolled her eyes. "What?" I demanded, plopping myself down on the couch.
"Oh nothing," she sniffed, settling into a chair beside me. "I just don't think Gary would be happy hearing you declare your love for another man. He strikes me as the jealous type…"
I stared at her stupidly for a moment or two before the implications of her statement sunk in. "WAAH! Misty! I'm not gay! Especially not for Gary!" A pillow found its way into my hand and then made a heroic leap for Misty's face.
Tracey came in with lunch just in time to stop an all-out pillow fight-turned-wrestling match that would probably have destroyed half the expensive things in the room. "Come on guys, give it a rest," he chided us. "The way you two fight…"
"What?" Misty snarled, sounding defensive. "There's nothing wrong with beating up an idiot!"
I growled and tried to yell back that I am not an idiot, but the pillow she had pressed over my mouth pretty much muffled my reply.
Tracey gave her an odd look before sighing and dropping down on the couch. "I thought you guys had something important you wanted to discuss with me…?"
"Right!" Misty snatched up the GS Ball from where it had fallen during our brawl, allowing me to throw the pillow off of my face and breathe finally. "Ash found this in his closet this morning, and we're trying to figure out how to open it."
"Is that…." Tracey reached out for the pokéball cautiously, taking it gently when Misty offered it to him, "….the GS Ball? Oh wow," he whispered reverently. "I completely forgot about this!"
"You and just about all the other kids in the world," I agreed, nodding my head. "Like Mist said, we're trying to crack it open and see what's inside. We thought you might have some ideas, but," I leveled my fiercest glare at him, which is pretty much as good as a golbat's Scary Face, "you can't tell the Professor, okay? He'd have a heart attack or kill me or something if he found out I had it stashed in my closet."
Tracey "hmmmed" in what I'm assuming was agreement and continued to study the ball. "What have you guys tried so far?" He asked us.
"We've tried calling on the pokémon, like in battle or something," Misty told him. "And then Mr. Genius over here thought it'd be a good idea to put it in the microwave. Because it's like an egg and a mommy swellow," she teased me.
"Yeah, well you thought rubbing it was gonna work!" I shot back at her, crossing my arms across my chest. "How stupid was that?"
"You sang to it!"
"You wanted Pikachu to thundershock it!"
"You-"
"Guys, guys!" Tracey raised his voice above our own, cutting through our squabbling. Tch! Just when I was gonna win too! "Alright, those things didn't work. Let's just take a minute and think up some new ideas, okay?"
"Okay," I huffed, leaning against the back of the couch and closing my eyes, trying to summon up the "Chosen Oneness" within me to help solve the problem. Thinking….thinking….hm…how to get that thing open….umm…man, it'd be a whole lot easier to think if Misty's arm didn't keep brushing mine! Seriously, there are so many other places she could sit; why must she crowd my personal space? Her arm is really soft, and warm, and it keeps sending these stupid tingles up my arm….gah! There she is again! Stupid Misty's arm. Either touch me all the way or don't touch me at all! …oh wait…Asdjsdfkla!
"I'm going to sketch it," Tracey announced, abruptly vaulting off the couch and running to get his sketchpad from who knows where. I used his distraction to subtly inch away from Misty, silently cheering to myself when there was a sliver of space between us. There! Maybe now I'll be able to think!
…not that Misty distracts me! She…just…occupies my mind when she shouldn't. Yeah.
"What does he think, that it'll open up if he sketches it?" Misty scoffed under her breath.
I laughed, and joked back, "Nah. I bet it opens because it's so creeped out by Tracey watching it."
We both laughed at that, and suddenly I was right back where I started: right against Misty's side. I guess it's not that bad though. I mean, her hair smells pretty nice. As long as she's not hitting me, maybe I'll just stay here…
"Okay!" Tracey came rushing back into the room, pencil in one hand and a pad of paper in the other. "Just give me a few minutes."
Misty and I both struggled to keep a straight face while Tracey drew the GS Ball. He was just looking at it so seriously, his eyes all buggy and weird-like!
"Come on, Ash," Misty gave me a sideways headbutt and got up, "Let's go look for more things we could use to crack that thing open."
"Sounds good!" I agreed quickly. Rooting through all the junk in the Professor's house sounded like waaayyy more fun than watching Tracey creep on the GS Ball.
"I was thinking we could look for a credit card, like to slip in the crack and try to jiggle it open, and maybe a hammer or screwdriver if things get serious. We already tried heating it, maybe we could soak it in water and hope it rusts or something…" Misty trailed off as she opened a kitchen drawer and started poking through the odds and ends in there.
"Okay," I nodded, glancing up at the ceiling in case the perfect tool would float down from the heavens to help us. Something….edible….like….a sandwich…yeahhh.
Suddenly, I remembered!
Whipping my head around, I smirked upon seeing the sandwiches Tracey had promised sitting on the counter. He must've completely forgotten what he was supposed to be doing because he hadn't even finished putting them together. Jeez, talk about a short attention span!
I looked back over at Misty, but she was still busy rummaging around in cabinets and stuff. Watching her carefully, I inched my way over to the food, making sure to not draw attention to myself, and grabbed all three sandwiches before taking off down the hallway towards the stairs.
I chuckled triumphantly, stuffing one of them in my mouth.
"Mmmmmm….ham and cheeeeeese," I mumbled through the yummy goodness. "Not as good as Brock's sandwiches, but eh, not too bad Tracey, I'll give you that…"
Licking my fingers, I shoved the other two sandwiches in my mouth at the same time just to prove that I could, and, still chewing, I took a look at where I'd wandered.
Now, I've only really been in the Professor's lab before. Maybe I was in his house a few times when I was little, but, man, I didn't remember it being as huge as it is! Gary always said he was rich, but I guess I never really believed him. Too busy trying to be more amazing than he is and stuff.
I mean, his house has got all these modern decoration kind of things all over the place. Like cool silver lamps everywhere and….black and white tiles…I dunno. And the ceilings are really high too. And the staircase is really big. Nice and shiny. Not as shiny as the GS Ball, but almost. If you can picture that. I'm really no good at describing things though so never mind.
The important thing is that the staircase was shiny and I decided to climb it since I'd never been upstairs and hey, I might even find something useful to help open the ball up there too. Plus I'm Ash Ketchum and I'm supposed to be adventurous, right? Right.
So I headed on up. The Professor is pretty much like my grandpa anyway so I'm sure he wouldn't mind.
There were a lot of rooms up there too. Now what the heck would an old guy living alone with like…one other person and a few pokémon need all those rooms for? There were two bedrooms, a bathroom, and another really big room with a bunch of computers that had some baby eevees running around in a little fenced-in area. Well…I guess that was it though. So maybe there weren't as many rooms as I thought. Like I said, I'm no good at describing things.
Anyway, after scouring the hallway, I couldn't really find anything interesting and I didn't want to venture into what looked like Tracey's room. I figured things would get really creepy, really fast if I went in there. I mean, the door was closed but it had a drawing taped on it of a (yes, I'll admit) really hot Officer Jenny wearing a blue bikini with some handcuffs that said, "Stop in the name of the law! You are about to enter Tracey's room!"
….Yeah. I figured that was only the beginning so I just slid on past that door.
The pokémon room looked kinda promising though so I headed on over there and stuck my head in. But after a minute, I realized it was just a mini version of his lab. Booooring. All that was in there were a bunch of random tools and tech-y looking stuff so I didn't even bother. Nothing useful there. Plus the eevees growled at me too. Clearly they had no respect for a Pokémon Master in training. Lame.
Which left the other bedroom at the end of the hall. I assumed it was the Professor's room. Unless he slept in his lab, which actually wouldn't surprise me all that much. As I got closer though, I realized that there was a drawing on his door too.
I snorted. Tracey must reeeeally like making signs. Poor guy. He really has too much time on his hands.
This one was another drawing of a lady in a bikini that said (how original), "Professor Oak's Room," at the top. You could only see the lady's back though and some of her face, 'cause she was wearing this big floppy sun hat and she was kinda looking back over one shoulder.
Something looked really familiar about her for some reason so I stared at it for a bit longer. Something about the hat…and her brown hair….and the bikini too…like…they belonged to someone I knew. And possibly even lived with. Could it be...
"May?" I mused out loud, but quickly shook my head, already feeling like a creeper. It couldn't have been her because the only one who had a swimsuit and hat like that was my mom, and I seriously doubt the Professor would want a picture of her in his room.
Shrugging it off, I reached out and turned the knob. I probably should've had some second thoughts about barging into the Professor's room without asking, but Tracey had said he was always away on conferences so I was sure he wouldn't be in there now.
I opened the door the rest of the way. The room was dark; it looked like the shades were drawn and everything. I couldn't see too much, but the first thing I noticed was that there were some weirdddd noises coming from the far end of the room. I thought it might have been a pokémon or something so I instinctively reached to my belt for a pokéball when the next thing I knew, the noises cut off and there was this loud, high-pitched squeal sort of sound.
"Ash?"
"Ash! W-What are you doing in here! Close the door! Now!"
Hooooly Kanto-freaking-Sinnoh.
"S-Sorry Mom! Professor Oak! I didn't see anything! I'm gone!" Scrunching my eyes shut as fast as I could, I backed out of the room and slammed the door shut, all but sprinting off down the hall, my face as red as Misty's sweet-smelling hair.
It was true, I really hadn't seen anything, but oh Pokégods, that had caught me off-guard! My…my mom….and Professor Oak?
I groaned to the sky and cursed out to the first legendary pokémon I could think of, because clearly they must have had it out for me.
"Arceus, you bastard! Whyyy would you put such images in my head? I can never unthink that now aaaahh!" I cried, almost tripping as I ran down the stairs.
I must have still been muttering to myself and spazzing out a bit because Misty and Tracey both shot me a weird look as soon as I made it back to the kitchen.
"Ash, where did you run off to this time and what trouble have you gotten yourself into?" Misty asked with her hands on her hips.
But I did not have time for her sass so I slammed my fist down on the countertop for the heck of it and used my golbat-Scary-Face glare attack on her.
"She was supposed to be shopping, Misty! What is she doing in the Professor's BEDROOM?"I pretty much shrieked, trying as hard as I could to forget all the lessons on females Brock had given me. They may have been funny to listen to, but who knew the guy was actually serious! Who knew that people actually-!
"What are you talking about?"
Great. Was Misty really gonna make me spell it out for her?
But suddenly, Tracey paled. "Oh no," he said, the dumbest look of sheer terror crossing his face as he stared at me. "You didn't go upstairs, did you?"
I just stared right back at him and deadpanned, "No, I just took a jog around the block, Tracey."
But before I could actually punch him in the face for knowing about this….situation before me, someone cleared their throat behind me and I turned around to see my mom and Professor Oak standing awkwardly under the doorway.
They looked pretty disheveled. Both their hair was all messed up and I think the Professor's shirt was on inside-out and was that….a bruise on his neck? Alright, now that's just freaky.
"Mr. Ketchum, would you please tell me exactly what you were doing barging into my bedroom like that? And furthermore, why are you even in my house?" Che. As if it was my fault he was fooling around with my mother, thank you very much.
But the Professor looked like he meant business so I just kinda shuffled my feet and rubbed at my neck for a second before blurting out, "Tracey let us in!"
Tracey quickly jumped into apology mode in front of the Professor. What a suck-up.
"I'm so sorry, Professor! He and Misty showed up unannounced and I just wanted some human contact, that's all! Not to mention they needed help opening the GS-!"
Before the annoying little traitor could finish his sentence, Misty and I had both leaped on him, me grabbing him in a headlock and Misty slapping both hands over his mouth to shut him up.
"Tracey, you promised!" I hissed into his ear as he struggled against us, whimpering slightly. "Don't make Misty pull out her mallet!"
I received an elbow to the face for that one.
"You wouldn't happen to mean the GS Ball, now would you?"
The Professor was smirking as he tossed the GS Ball up and down in his hand. How the Ho-oh did he get hold of it anyway?
I blinked, trying to figure out how to save myself from the situation.
"Uhhh…" I began. Great. Off to an awesome start. "That's-That's not what you think it is, Professor!" I settled for, releasing my grip on Tracey and pointing dramatically at the ball. "It's a…..a…failed attempt at a….plot device?" Yeah. That's what it was!
"Nice try, Ash, but I know the GS Ball when I see it!"
Ah farfetch'd. I was defeated.
The Professor started chuckling for some stupid reason. Then he looked at my mom (who I'd almost forgotten was still standing there) and she started chuckling, which got Tracey chuckling too (but I elbowed him in the stomach which stopped him).
I really didn't see what was so funny and apparently neither did Misty 'cause she wasn't laughing either.
She stepped forward though with a sheepish grin.
"I'm sorry, Professor Oak, but this nimwit," she pointed to me, "found it in his closet after all these years and we wanted to try and open it. We never did find out what was inside after all. But no matter what we tried, we just couldn't get it to open!"
"That's not what happened, Professor," I said, shooting a look at Misty for calling me a 'nimwit'. "Basically it fell out of my closet this morning when I was cleaning so I called Misty and asked her to come help me open it. So she came over and we tried hitting it, and prying it open, and shocking it, and slamming it against things, and microwaving it, and singing to it, and pretty much anything you can think of, but it just wouldn't open! Then we came to see if Tracey could help and he tried drawing it, I mean, talk about a dumb idea, right?"
The next thing I knew, I was on the ground and Misty was driving the heel of her shoe into the back of my head growling, "They didn't need to know all that!"
But go figure, the Professor just laughed again. My mom must've really put him in a good mood or something. Wait. That's gross, ew.
"Oh you kids," he said, smiling at all of us like he knew some big secret. "There's only one way to open the GS Ball and you didn't even come close to finding it."
"You know how to open it, Professor?" Tracey asked, inching forward hopefully, but Misty and I both pushed him back simultaneously as we exclaimed, "Stay out of this!"
We both turned back to the Professor, but he just kept on smiling creepily at me and Misty, this weird little twinkle in his eye as he stepped closer.
"Why yes, of course! I am Professor Oak after all." He held the ball out in the palm of his hand in front of us. "I wouldn't have given this to you of all people without a good reason, Ash. I had hoped that, in time, you would be able to figure out how to open it yourself," he sighed, "But apparently that didn't happen so I'll just have to tell you."
Misty and I exchanged a wary glance.
"Uhhh okay…how do you open it?" I asked, not sure if I should be excited or nervous about all this buildup.
Of course, my mom giggled in the background, which did not make me feel better at all.
"In order to open the GS Ball, an act of true love must be performed in front of it. Then, and only then, will it reveal its contents to the world," the Professor stated, one finger raised as if he were stating the obvious or something.
I groaned out loud.
Man, where was Brock when you needed him! There was no way we'd get to open it now! Unless my mom and the Professor took it back up to the bedroom with them….maybe that would-nooooo no no! See, I'll never be able to get rid of those images!
"Well…I dunno what we're supposed to do about it, Professor!" I stammered, feeling my face go red for no reason in particular. I looked over at Misty and nudged her. "Right, Mist?"
She jumped like I'd scared her, then looked up at me too. But just as soon as she'd looked at me, she looked away, messing with her hair again.
"Um…y-yeah. I..don't know…" she mumbled.
Jeez, what was up with her?
Just then, Tracey ran up in front of me and Misty with this weird grin slapped on his face. "Don't you guys see?" he asked, flailing about with his sketchpad in one hand and a pencil in the other. "You two have to kiss! True love, right? Oh man, I've gotta draw this!"
"WHAT?" I yelled extra loudly to try and cover up how happy I was by the news. Wait…why was I happy about kissing Misty? Why would I-? Ohhh right, because we'd finally get the GS Ball to open up that way! That's why! Y-Yeah! Definite…ly…
My mom, and Tracey, and the Professor were all nodding excitedly, inching towards me and Misty really slowly, Professor Oak holding the ball out towards us like it was about to change our lives or something.
I whipped my head around to look at Misty again. She was still just standing there, biting her lip now and twirling her hair even more nervously. I figured she knew I was staring at her but she still wouldn't look at me. She wasn't mad, was she?
"Misty?" I asked, looking for a response. "I know it's gross, but if I'm gonna be a Pokémon Master and know all the secrets of the Pokémon world, including what's in this GS Ball, then we've gotta do it, okay? My entire awesome future could be at stake here!"
That got her and she finally turned, only to cuff me upside the head. "Ash, the world doesn't revolve around you, Oh Chosen One! Jeez, you are so-!"
She kept yelling some other things at me but I kinda stopped listening because the world had all started to blur. Except for her. She stayed in focus. I'd had that feeling before when I was about to pass out, except everything was blurry then, so I figured something else must have been happening. My heart was pounding really hard too and I couldn't stop staring at her eyes. Those beautiful cerulean eyes. Whoa, where had I even learned that cerulean was a color?
It didn't matter. I loved those eyes. Loved watching them even when she was mad at me. Actually I loved watching everything about her. Not in a Tracey sort of way but..you know…a normal, not creepy way. I found my eyes wandering down to her lips then. She was still screaming at me, calling me names no doubt, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do in that moment was…..move forward and…..
A second later, Misty had stopped yelling and I realized that it was because my lips were on hers.
I thought I heard a cheer coming from Tracey's general direction, but it might have also been me in my head. I was kissing her and…..she was kissing me! She was kissing me back! She even put her arms around my neck and everything! I had noooo idea what was going on, but I knew I liked it! A lot! I mean, finally, we were-. Wait, finally? Why did I say-? Ahh what the Hoenn!
I'm pretty sure we kissed for a while. Like….forty-seven minutes maybe? At least it felt like that. And trust me, I could've kept going (because Ash Ketchum never quits) if it weren't for this wild blinding light that suddenly exploded from the GS Ball.
Misty and I pulled away from each other (even though we really REALLY didn't want to) and turned to look at the glowing ball. The Professor was flipping out, screaming weird things like, "Eureka!" and "Egads!" and other old people phrases as the ball opened up.
The mystical light continued for another second before dying down. As the light faded, we could see the form of something that had just came out of the ball.
It was…it was moving! Oh man, it was definitely a pokémon! A big, strong, level 1000, totally awesome, best pokémon in the entire world! And I unleashed it! Me! Ash Ketchum! Pokémon Master! (Along with my sidekick Misty too I guess.)
The light cleared.
And the five of us fell to the ground at the same time. I'm pretty sure I yelled out, "WAAAAHHH!" too but I can't really remember through my shock.
The now-empty GS Ball was lying on the ground next to the pokémon it had once housed.
In its fear over the crazy situation it had just been set free into, the newly-freed magikarp used its most powerful Splash attack.
And nothing happened.