Title: The Only Exception
Author: DrawnToDarkness
Rating: K
Pairing: Jess/Becker
Spoilers: General knowledge for series 3-5.
Summary: Every rule has an exception.
Disclaimer: Neither the show or the song belong to me. The song is by Paramore and is absolutely gorgeous.
For Scotsfangirl, who prompted established Jess/Becker and 'The Only Exception'.
"And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I've sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness."
As a younger man, he'd never been the "serious relationship" type. Casual, no strings, no attachment relationships were what he went for. If he indulged in emotional entanglements – and it was extremely rare that he did – they were the kind that weren't designed to last, with no fear of bruised egos and broken hearts on either side.
His parent's marriage had been a poor example to him growing up. Oh, they loved each other, he knew that, but no one was really surprised when his mother sat her three children down one day to announce that their parents were separating. He and his sister's had merely exchanged resigned looks and taken it in turns to reassure their parents that they understood and were okay with the news.
That was years ago, and since then, his mother had been remarried and subsequently divorced while his father had partaken in a strong of short-lived relationships with a procession of women, each one a few years younger than the last.
And now, almost ten years to the day that they'd first ended their marriage, Anne and Richard Becker were preparing to renew their former wedding vows with their offspring and their partners as their only witnesses.
He wanted to be surprised at the odd turn of events but found he couldn't be. Nothing really surprised him anymore when it came to his parents and their up-and-down, on-and-off relationship.
What did surprise him, though, was the shift in his own views where relationships and matters of the heart were concerned. As he stood in front of the full-length mirror in the bedroom, adjusting his suit jacket and fussing with his tie, he couldn't keep his mind from beginning to wander in the direction of his own love life.
His choice in career had made it easy to stick to the pattern as far as making no commitments was concerned. At first, he had managed to convince himself that it wouldn't have been fair on him to enter into a relationship with someone else knowing there was a good chance he'd leave them one day and never make it back.
Later in his career, he'd told himself a relationship would be a distraction he couldn't afford. Lives depended on him, both those of the men and women who served beneath him and those of the civilians he'd sworn to protect. He couldn't allow his mind to be filled with thoughts of anyone waiting for him back home, not when he had to stay sharp and focused on whatever job he was facing.
His opinion didn't change munch when he first started working at the ARC, though he did allow himself to make friends and form attachments, something he'd regretted when it all went to hell and three of the four people he'd come to care about were lost to time, the fourth lost permanently because he'd failed to do his job.
Sarah's death still weighed heavily on his heart, though not as much as it once had. He would always blame himself, though not in the way most of his friends and teammates assumed. He knew he wouldn't have been able to save here even if he'd been with her at the time of the predators attack instead of one of his men. No, what he blamed himself for was letting his heart overrule his head and agreeing to the rescue attempts in the first place. He should have been firmer, more detached. He should have been firmer, more detached. He should have shut out Sarah's pleas for help in finding the others and insisted that the best course of action would have been to wait.
If he had, she'd still be alive. If he hadn't given into her and his own desire to find their missing teammates, Sarah would have been there with him to welcome the others – Abby, Connor and Danny – home once again.
After her death, he'd made a conscious decision to keep his professional life free of emotional attachments. And, as his job took up at least eighty percent of his time, Becker had resigned himself to a relationship free future.
Ha.
The best made plans of mice and men...
"Hil, are you almost ready?" The colourful vision he watched approach him in the mirror never failed to make him grin, something in his chest warming just at the sight of her. She clucked her tongue in mock annoyance, the affectionate smile on her face telling him that it was all for show. "We're going to be late if we don't leave soon."
"You look beautiful," he told her instead of responding, still facing the mirror but reaching for her hand so he could tug her in front of him, studying the image the two of them made standing together.
The blush that rose in her cheeks was still endearing, and he was not-so-secretly thrilled to be able to have such an effect on here even after a year of being with her.
A year.
Wrapping his arms around her slender waist, his hands clasped over her stomach, Becker placed a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin beneath her ear and was rewarded immediately by a shiver and a sigh.
Jess Parker had caused him to rethink his stance on relationships and not a day went by that he wasn't wholly grateful for it.
It had happened gradually, almost without him being fully aware of it. She'd been a colleague at first and he'd been determined to keep it that way despite her best efforts to get to know him better. It had stunned him a little, when Abby and Connor had returned, when he'd found himself admitting that she had somehow become more of a friend than just a mere colleague, a friend with the potential to one day be something more.
Her attempt at comforting him after the anomaly at the school had been a defining moment for him, Becker reflected, holding Jess's curious gaze in the mirror's glassy surface. The absolute faith she'd had in him at the time was humbling and hadn't faltered in the time that had passed since but it was the realisation that he actually wanted to be the man she thought he was that not only opened his eyes to what was around him but also opened his heart.
It had taken almost losing her to act on those feelings, some months after the initial revelation.
Rules be damned, he'd decided it was unfair of him to deprive either of them the chance at finding out if they, too, could have the kind of relationship that those around them – Abby and Connor, Emily and Matt – had.
A year later, and he was certain it was the best decision he'd ever made. Even the little velvet box in the inside pocket of his jacket didn't scare him the way it once might have done.
"Are you done brooding?" Jess asked quietly, covering his hands with hers. "Because if we're late again, I'm not taking the blame."
Turning her so he could kiss her slowly, Becker smiled against her lips before pulling away. "Then we better get going because no one's going to believe it's not your fault when you look so utterly distracting."
Rolling her eyes at the flattering though a pleased smile tugged at her lips, Jess lifted her hands to straighten his tie before stepping out of the circle of his arms. She reached for the light blue shawl that matched her dress and his tie, securing it around her shoulders before accepting the hand he hand out for her.
Hand in hand, the couple left their home, heading to what he was secretly thinking was sure to be only the first Becker wedding they would attend together.
"Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well, you are the only exception."
End.