A/N
This is my first fanfiction I've ever put online X-X so warning: it may suck. I'm also not too used to writing in english, and I'm a bit clumsy in spelling and such... So I apologise in advance. I actually had this story published not too long ago but I quickly took it down because after re-reading the first 3 chapters I almost cried blood. So now that I have re-written them as well as completed the 4th chapter I feel a bit more... comfortable. :) Sorry if it STILL is no good... If you read it, please tell me about any mistakes so that I can improve. :D
WARNING! This is a yaoi/BL story. If you don't like it DO NOT READ. Also if you're under 18 please be a good girl/boy and leave.
Disclaimer: I do not own Zeke's pad or any of its characters.
CH 1: Wet dreams lead to detentions
"This is not happening! This is NOT happening to me right now!"
I just woke up from what seems to be my first wet dream. Im not surprised about the fact that I had one I mean, I totally saw that coming. It should be completely and utterly normal at my age, right? To be honest, I was getting kind of worried that I at the age of sixteen still haven't experienced such a thing... Now that I finally had one, WHY did it have to be about my best friend?! Why?!
That isn't even anything near normal!
I bury my head in my sweaty palms and feel like crying in frustration. I feel so pathetic. I, Ezekiel Palmer, the straightest man on the whole planet earth had my first wet dream about another guy. Man, I think my ego just reached level -200.
I slowly get out of bed, the sweaty wet sheets sticking to my legs as I make my way to the bathroom to quietly take care of an issue that I think all of you, my dear audience, know about. Fortunately it's like four in the morning, so I won't have to worry about accidentally running into someone on my way there. I'd rather not see the expression of say, Ike or Rachel if they'd catch me looking like this. I don't even want to imagine my mom's reaction.
After settling the score with my... uhm, you know... I crawl back under the sheets that don't in any way resemble the word "dry" or "comfortable".
Scowling I take my spare blanket for cold nights and wrap myself in it. Then my brain starts acting up as it usually does when my denial-button stops working. Yes, I have one of those somewhere in my brain, it's just kind of nonexistent at times...
How can I face Jay after this? I obviously CAN NOT tell him that I just had a dream of him and myself having... GAAAAH! I don't wanna think about it! I shut my brain up, or at least try to, as i pull the blanket up over my ears and pretend to sleep.
~+0+~
Later this morning I find myself in the kitchen eating breakfast with the rest of the family minus dad. Well actually I meant playing with food that happens to be porridge.
It's not that I don't like porridge... No I loooove porridge, who doesn't?...
Oh who am I kidding? I fucking hate this shit. It tastes, smells and looks like shit. It even FEELS like shit. And don't ask me how I know this much about shit. I'd rather not talk about it, but I can tell you that it involved me and Jay losing a bet in pre-school. And a dog. Ike was also involved. Jay luckily got us out of it before it got x-rated.
Suddenly I get a brainstorm and recall my dream about him. For a second I feel disgusted of myself. But... the feelings that flow through after that... I can't put a finger on them. Maybe it's fright?
Or excitement?
I almost smack myself on that. To be honest it resembles the feeling you get when you ride on a rollercoaster... You know, when it slowly reaches the highest point of the track before the big fall.
"Zeke! Be a good boy and just for once eat your porridge properly."
I almost jump out of my skin when my mom decides to interrupt me in my philosophical thinking. Sometimes I think that I might be the reincarnation of Socrates or something. Or I WOULD if my mother wasn't so against my silent moments. Everyone seems to be underestimating my brain more and more nowadays... Or maybe they're just mean... And by 'them' I mean Jay. Seriously the guy apparently thinks that there isn't much going on between my ears, but sweet Jesus if he could hear inside my head sometimes... He would put a bullet in his own for sure. Hell, he can't even listen to me for more than ten minutes without smahing his face in the nearest wall, or any surface at that- ...
"Zeke! Are you listening to me dear?"
Oops, I think my brain just shut me inside and out for a moment there...
"Mom, get this. I've still got my natural instinkts. It would be going against my nature to eat something that clearly isn't edible." I say with a bored tone.
Suddenly Rachel stands up from the table, over-dramatically of course, a very shocked expression adorning her face.
"How can you say such a thing about my porridge?! Moooooooooom!"
Mom sighs and says without turning away from the counter:
"Now now, apologize to your sister. I know you usually don't care for porridge but still, that was Rachels homework for home-economics you just badmouthed."
I can't help but face palm.
Seriously. How can my mom talk about homework-porridge and act like it's an everyday event!?
"Homework?" I ask in disbelief, still with my hand glued to my forehead. Rachel groans loudly before answering.
"Yeah! It IS for home economics! And I put all of my heart and soul into it!"
"Well I'm SORRY." I say rolling my eyes. "But that's just an even better excuse for me to not eat it."
Finally my mom decides that now is a good enough time to turn away from washing the dishes. She looks quite frustrated as she states:
"Zeke! You don't really want Rachel to feed it to Chester instead, do you?"
"Hah! Talk about 'the dog ate my homework!' " I say amused.
No really. I think that was a pretty good one.
Then, the expected happens. Rachel falls down on her knees and her hands look like they have a will of their own, and you may insert very sad violin melody here if you want some extra melancholy effects, my dear audience.
"I finally seem to have come face to face with the personification of evil itself!" Rachel looks like she's talking to the ceiling light, or at least to the ceiling concidering her angle but wait, it continues...
"Alas it turns out to be my very own blood brother." She closes her eyes and makes a very pained expression. "I can not express my sorrow with words only. I shall retire to my room... no, my sanctuary where no such evil can reach my pure soul of a hurt young maiden!"
Then she runs out of the kitchen and a couple of seconds later you can hear her slamming the door shut behind her with a bit too much force.
"Oh dear, now we really have to feed Rachels homework to Chester..."
Man, my mom must have been listening to dads songs all weekend again. That would explain her lack of intelligence. You don't reveal your cards first and then openly regret it afterwards. But my mom... she's an exception allright.
As I get into my own little sanctuary (which is by the way my own scumbag of a brain) I fail to notice one additional presence creeping closer behind me.
"Wow Zeke, that was a bit going over some edges in hurting someones feelings, you know."
My heart almost stops at the familiar, a bit childish, and raspy voice that belongs to none other than my wet dream.
Oh God, why did I just remind my brain about last night?
I turn and look him straight up in the eyes, which I almost immediately regret doing for the rollercoaster feeling makes itself known once again. And I also think my face reached its maximal temperature too in the process.
"J-Jay? What are you doing here?" I stutter out.
Perfect. I panicked and now i made myself look like a total idiot. And Jay totally being his Jay-self obviously didn't drop my stupidity as he rolls his eyes.
"Uhhhh... hello my name is Jay and i have been coming to your house to pick you up since, well FOREVER so that you could enjoy my company to school. Anything else you wanna know about your best friend?"
Ah, how I've missed that sarcasm. Last time I fell victim to it was yesterday. On my bed.
No.
I know precisely what exactly ALL of you out there were thinking. And the answer is no. Not like that.
So WHAT were we doing in my bed yesterday again? Oh, yes. We were playing cards. And Jay used his sarcasm attack on me which was the main cause of me losing. Sarcasm can piss you off pretty nicely if someone uses it while you play a game. And I just realized that for the millionth time yesterday when Jay once again had no mercy on me.
It ended up with us getting into a fight, me throwing him out, him climbing back to my room through my window, and me being kicked out. From my own room. And he didn't let me in until I forgave him for winning.
Although he made it feel like it was actually me apologizing to him for being a sore loser...
Here's additionally something else I got to realize last night: Never let Jays slim and nerdy-like appearance decieve you! He can be heavy if he wants to and he CAN kick your ass if he's motivated enough.
So in the end I forgave him and was safely let in to my room only so that I could pull a surprise-attack on him for revenge. But it still ended up with him on top of me on the floor.
And just for your information, that was not intended to sound the way it did.
Ending my little flashback I get up from the table, empty my... breakfast in the trash, of course without mom noticing anything and say as i walk past Jay.
"I meant what are you doing in the kitchen, smartass. You usually wait outside." As I said that I managed to grab my belongings and get myself out of the house. I casually started walking towards the school and Jay soon caught up with me.
"Well it was either leave you behind or be a good friend and come get you. It could have been one of those days when you'd come up with something like for exampe, the world would be a better place without alarmclocks, and then youd go and draw them away just because you hate waking up early."
I grunt a bit annoyed.
"Would not."
"Would too."
"Would not! Im not that selfi-!"
"Shall i bring up the toothbrush incident when you refused to go to the dentist? Man, i still find it creepy to brush my own teeth..."
While my face automatically starts forming a pout of defeat, Jay touches his teeth as if to see that they're still in place. Ok, I admit that making toothbrushes the ultimate cause of loosing teeth wasn't my brightest idea of the century...
"But then again, you'r ideas never fail to fail, so to say." He states matter of factly and there is the smug bastard look again. Laughing in my face.
"Your'e just cruel."
"And you're not? Then what was that whole kitchen facade?"
"That was-... how long had you been watching anyway?!"
"Long enough to get the right to call you cruel." He finished with a smirk. I sigh as I declare my defeat inwardly. You just can't argue with Jay.
"Whatever." I mumble as I continue strolling down our neighbourhood.
The smug look on Jays face faded as we continued walking. As we reached school gates I sneaked a quick look at Jay's face, and was taken back when I found an actual smile. My heart did a backflip and I stumble on my own feet out of sheer fright. Unluckily I managed to drag Jay down with me and ended up bumping my head in his chest, which by the way was WAAAAY softer to land on than the asfalt. Jay rubs his head that he bumped in the hard ground and grunts in pain before he lifts his upper body up on his elbows. His expression read simply annoyed.
"You know, it really amazes me how you manage to land on top of me EVERY TIME you trip on your own feet. But thats what you do on a daily basis so I'm kinda used to it by now."
I cry inwardly as I curse myself for being such a clutz. Then I remember our positions and quickly get off Jay and I start walking towards the school, my face as red as red can be. Jay sets off running after me as he gets up... by himself.
...
Now that I think about it, a real friend would have helped him up and at least said "sorry". But nooooooooo. I just had to overreact and make myself look like a total ass. Well at least my brain didn't have the time to crash and proceed to betrayal mode. What if last night would have popped up right then when I just layed there straddling his hips?
Oh, God.
I speed up my pace as I feel my face rising in temperature.
~+0+~
Jay smells like forest and citrus fruits.
SLAP.
The whole class turns to look at me as I slapped myself for having a obnoxious brain that doesn't know when to stop.
"Is there something the matter, Palmer?"
Mrs. Raindare, our precious biology and geography teacher was looking at me with one of her 'oh don't you fuck with me' -looks as she had been interrupted pointing her pointing stick in the middle of north Korea (or is it Japan?) on a big wall map that I didn't even notice until now. She proceeds to correcting her thick glasses with her index finger as her expression grows angrier by the second.
"Did the cat get your tongue?" she asks clearly annoyed.
"Ummm...there was a fly?" I answer a bit awkwardly.
"I see. Then wipe off that drool of your face and start paying attention to my class."
"Yes Mrs. Reindeer." I mumble as I wipe my face and immediately regret my twist in pronunciation. Something in her face twitches.
"Palmer, detention after school four o'clock."
The class laughs at me as I bump my head into my desk.
Suddenly I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, telling me I've got a text. I open up my phone and see it's from my one and only.
'Nice going'
I look at Jay with a sour look and he just grins. That bastard.
I just text a 'shut up' to him before I resume in my miserable misery of being miserable.
A/N
I'm just saying, but as a final note here I'd like to make a confession. I actually have no idea what I'm doing when I try using these: " ' " marks so I avoid using them as much as possible. :'(