What's Down Under, Baby.
I woke up this morning in some kind of inquisitive rage. I usually had these kinds of fits, but somehow, today was special. It all started the second my eyes focused after my alarm rang. This particular morning, something just seemed so fascinating about the picture of Squall and I on my Nightstand.
Taking it from its place, I took a long moment to study it. Hmmm…what a sweet picture of us. It was one of those rare moments where he bothered to smiled. I looked at him standing there, looking so shy and sweet. Teehee, I am a lucky girl after all. I could name a ton of girls that would like jump his bones, but he's all mine, baby. Aren't I the evil one? (Muhahahahaha)
Well, anyway. I stared at his picture for a while. Man, he does have good fashion taste…wait a minute. It struck me like a bolt of lightening. What does he wear under those hot, tight leather pants? No tighty-whitey line? What's up with that? I slapped myself in the face. Whatever he wore under his pants, it probably isn't any of my business. I set the picture back onto its respectable place beside my bed, and got up.
Time for a nice shower…hmmm…what should I wear? My usual blue and black outfit no doubt. I grabbed my unique ensemble off the hanger and opened my underwear drawer. Oh dear…underwear. I'm proud to say that my undie drawer was relatively "clean", nothing too kinky. Well, except for a baby blue g-string with white feather trim that Seifer got me when we were together…what a horny bastard. I shoved the g-string under all of my other panties. It was giving me ideas…no not that kind. More like, could Squall be wearing that kind of stuff under his pants? How about Selphie? Quistis? Irvine? Argh! I shook my head in utter disbelief. That's enough irrational thinking for one day. Well, its time for that shower, I don't want to be late.
I sauntered into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and hopped in. After five minutes, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. Oh shoot…I forgot my underwear. Man…I'm thinking about that again. Shit. Well, can't go without it. What else could I do but go back into my room and retrieve some. So, whatever. Simple, right?
Boy, was I ever wrong. I opened my underwear drawer and all the questions just came back. Holy Shit, curiosity has gotten the best of me…yet again. Okay, okay, okay, I will forget about it. Okay, Okay…I gotta hurry.
I quickly got dressed and ran out of my house. My train to Balamb was waiting for me when I stepped off the bus. Once I got on, I had more cursed time to think. And what else was there to think about but you know what. Argh…I am a disgrace to myself. I hate to say, but I wondered what Seifer wore too. I'd shutter at the near scent, but it was really getting to me. Even though people would say that I SHOULD know what my past lover and my current lover wore under their pants…*cough, cough* I seriously have no idea and had had NO opportunity WHATSOEVER in the past. What kind of girl do you think I am anyway? Sickos. Ahem, my stop was approaching and maybe I was about to discover the answer to all my goddamn questions.
Selphie was waiting for me when in got off the train.
"Hey Rinoa!"
"Um…Hey." I wasn't feeling my usual upbeatness for obvious reasons. I figured the only way to get rid of my curiosity was by getting answers.
"Jeez Rinoa, you aren't as upbeat as you usually are. Something tuggin' your leg?" Selphie asked. Well, I wasn't completely ready to leak any aspect of my newfound inquisitiveness to her, but what the heck.
"Something has been bothering me all morning."
"What's wrong?"
"Umm…I don't know if I should tell you."
"Well, if its bothering you, you have to tell someone. And who's a better someone that me?"
"Hehe…um…can I ask you something? And don't get sicked out ok?"
"Surely, what are friends for?"
"Um….what kind of underwear do you wear? You know, on a normal basis." She looked at me with shocked green eyes.
"Excuse me? Rinoa? Are you ok?"
"That was what was bothering me all morning."
"Are you sure?"
"VERY sure."
"Uhh….well, it is a personal topic."
"You said I could ask you anything."
"You're right, I should keep my word. Umm…cotton plaid bikini cut…uhh…from Costco ."
"Okay." Boy, that felt great! Now I had one less question to ask. A giant weight was just lifted off my shoulders. I couldn't wait to ask the rest of the gang. "Thanks Selphie."
"Uhh…no problem? Well, we have to get back to the garden. I know everyone will be waiting for us."
We walked out of Balamb towards the garden. Selphie was significantly quieter. I would expect that, I think I freaked her out with my wonderings. Anyhoo, he reached the garden cafeteria. Everyone was there as usual. Irvine, Quistis, Zell, Seifer, Fujin, Raijin, but no Squall. Damn it.
Selphie and I sat down at the vacant seats.
"Does anyone know where Squall is?"
"What? Does Rinoa-poo miss her Squally-doo?" Seifer mocked. Argh, I want to kick his little pansy ass to the moon, but first I have to find out what covered it.
"No, you loser. I just have to ask him a little question." Selphie giggled at the sound of that phrase. Zell put his hot dogs down, hmmm something must be up.
"Oo, What could Rinoa have to ask Squall may I ask?" he asked.
"Yea, Rinoa, what is it? Did your pregnancy test come out positive?" Seifer mocked, yet again. Argh…I'd bite my thumb in spite of that bastard.
"No, did yours?" I snapped back. That shut him up. If not my strategic comment, then the gaggles of laughter.
"Now, now, Rinoa. No need for hard feelings," he (attempted) to act like he didn't care, which I new was as false as his blonde hair. Whoops, I promised not to tell anyone about that…he he he.
"Then fuck off, loser!" Now that felt good, unnecessary, but freaking good.
"Squall's out training, he won't be back to the dorm till noon," Zell said.
"Why don't you ask EVERYONE that question? Teehee," Selphie commented. Well, at least she lifted that task off my head.
"But isn't it a bit personal?" Quistis inquired.
"No, not at all," I replied with a smile.
"GO ON." Everyone can tell that's Fujin.
"Well, Okay. Promise to not get freaked out?
"Okay," everyone answered in unison. I cleared my throat.
"What kind of underwear does everyone wear?" For a second it seemed like the world stopped….cool. "Well…doesn't everyone wear underwear?" I saw Quistis turn to Seifer, her eyes fixed onto his squinty eyes.
"Black." She paused. "Silk and leather." She winked. Okay, that was gross. Seifer's face was smiling…kinkily…ewww.
"Well, I wear leopard print silk boxers…and they have your name all over..." He was interrupted by a glass being thrown at him, respectively from me.
"That's enough from you two!" Everyone looked relieved as well.
Quistis turned a little red in the nasal area. Seifer raised his eyebrow to her. Enough of that crass talk, time to move on. Fujin and Raijin were looking rather grossed out at Seifer.
"O! I know what FUJIN wears, ya know?" Raijin taunted. Fujin blushed.
"YOU!!!!"
"And how do you know?" I was utterly curious…among other things.
"I stole a pair out of her dorm as a dare, ya know?. HAHAHAHA!!!" Fujin flushed redder.
"TELL AND DIE!!!!!"
"And ya know they were…" Raijin burst out laughing. "BIG WHITE GRANDMA UNDERWEAR!!!!!" He started to crack up.
"NOW YOU DIE!!!!" Fujin knocked him hard out of his chair while everyone was laughing hysterically. "I KNOW WHAT RAIJIN WEARS!!!!" Now it was Raijin's turn to suffer humiliation.
"Now how do YOU know?" I asked her.
"DO HIS LAUNDRY!!!" I knew it. Raijin didn't possess enough brain cells to work a washing machine. Raijin, who was still on the floor stopped laughing when he figured out what was going on.
"You better not…" Fujin placed a firm foot onto his mouth.
"I TELL!!!!" By this time, everyone was at the edge of their seats. "GLOW IN THE DARK POWER RANGER TIGHTY WHITIES!!!"
"Holy Shit," everyone said in unison, including me actually.
"MOTHER BUYS THEM." She removed her foot from his face, and he got up. He was beet red.
"Fujin! That hurt, ya know?"
"SERVES YOU RIGHT!!!!"
"Well, anyway let's move on. Zell?" I attempted to bring back some order. Zell was still eating hot dogs.
"Er...pass?" he responded meekly.
"C'mon chickenwuss! Just tell everyone," Seifer teased.
"I don't want to…It's very personal."
"Hmmm…" Seifer got up out of his chair, and he walked over to Zell. Feeling his hostility, Zell stood up as well. "If you're not going to tell us, we'll have to find out." Oh boy, what came next is a little hard to explain. Two words: Mondo wedgie. Seifer reached into Zell's pants and gave him a wedgie so massive, it ripped the boxers right off of his butt. Poor Zell fell onto the ground squealing in pain, while a "victorious" Seifer waved the pieces of his boxers in the air. They were white cotton with hotdogs all over them, and the words "Who's your Daddy" on the front. Pretty funny. Everyone was laughing. Poor Zell.
"Now, all that's left is Irvine."
"Well, Selphie knows what I wear." He winked at Selphie next to him. He giggled.
"Teehee!" she giggled shyly.
"Among other things," Seifer commented under his breath.
"Shut up Loser!" This time it was Selphie, following with a thrown plate.
"Okay, Okay. Seifer shutting up!"
"What do you wear, Irvine?" I asked, to keep thing on track, you know.
"Selphie…tell them for me."
"They're Fuzzy monkey bikini briefs."
"SELPHIE!!!!! NOT THOSE!!!!!" Irvine turned very red. Everyone else, well, was shocked obviously.
"What's wrong Irvy? I got them for your birthday and you wear them right?"
"I only wear them for you…" he nervously whispered to her. Even though everyone heard.
"What?! You don't like them? You should've told me!!!"
"I do like them, sweetie, but I don't wear them everyday."
"Then what do you wear?"
"Well, those white boxers with the hearts."
"Ohhh!!! So that's why you have so many pairs of them!"
"Umm…that's enough." I broke up the conversation. I think I've had enough.
"That's what you had to ask Squall?" Quistis asked, a little bit stunned, but whatever.
"Like you don't know…ha ha ha ha!!!" Seifer exclaimed rather rudely. Argh...he makes me so mad!
"For your information, I don't. I'm not a slut!"
"Well, you already knew what I wear, right? You know, that one day in the park, eh?" he winked at me. I was about to crack up.
"No way! That wasn't me! You got drunk and made love to a tree."
"You mean….I'M SILL A VIRGIN?!" *Everyone gasps*
"'Fraid so, Seifer."
"Oh my God!!!!" His face scrunched up as he tried to hold back a tear. Everyone else pointed and laughed, including Zell who was still on the floor.
The clock on the wall read 11:45. It was about time to meet up with Squall.
"Well, I gotta run everyone. Thank you for your cooperation." I ran out of the cafeteria. Last step: ask Squall. This was going to be hard. He might take it the wrong way. I hope he doesn't go crazy like everyone else.
I met up with him about half way to the dorms. He was coming out of the training center. First thing I looked at were his pants. Nope, no underwear line. He ran over to me.
"Hey Rinoa, where are you going?"
"Umm…I need to fetch something from uhhh…Selphie's Dorm. Yea, that's it."
"Well, I'm headed to my dorm too." He put his arm around me…awww he's so sweet. My opened to ask him that long awaited question, but I couldn't get the nerve to ask.
"Something bothering you?"
"Oh no, Nothing at all. ABSOLUTELY nothing at all! Teehee!" What a lie. The question was at the tip of my tongue, but it was glued or something. "Wait, Squall, can I ask you something?"
"Umm…sure."
"Uhh…what kind of….animal is black, white and green?"
"Very funny Rinoa, a sea sick Zebra. You asked me that one yesterday."
"Ha ha. Right! Silly me." Boy, that glue must be really really strong.
We finally reached the dorms.
"Selphie's dorm is that way," Squall pointed over down the hall.
"Umm…I forgot what I was going to get. Oh well! Teehee! I'll just wait for you to get whatever you need from your dorm. Then we can go to Deling for some shopping or something."
"Okay, sure." Just wait out here, I just need to freshen up." He went into his dorm. Okay, here's my chance. If I can't ask him, I'll have to do my own investigative work, right? Here goes. I casually entered his dorm. He was in his bathroom, the door was shut. Here we go. I opened his closet. There were drawers along the bottom. Now which one held the underwear. I opened the first one on the left, whoo-hoo that was the underwear drawer! Hopefully, there was nothing too shocking. Yay! Plaid cotton boxers! I searched through all of his boxers hoping there wasn't anything kinky. Phew…nothing everything plaid…yay…holy shit. I spoke too soon. Out came a pair of hot pink lace panties from under the all the boxers…I think I'm going to be sick..
"What are you doing?!" Oh no, he's back! Oh great, now I have to explain.
"Umm…what is this doing in your drawer?" I waved the pink panties.
"Oh no…"
"Explain!"
"I didn't hide it well enough. You found your birthday present." Okay…now not even I expected that.
"Excuse me?"
"I thought your drawer looked a little too "clean"…except for that baby blue thing." Holy Shit!
"How did you?…you looked in my drawer didn't you?!"
"Well, I was just so curious…"
"Well, now we're even."
"Okay. Well, how about that shopping?" He put his arm around me and walked out the door. We were walking for a while until he asks,
"You do like them right?"
"Well, Hot pink isn't really my color."
"Haha okay. Maybe I'll buy you a pair you like when we get to Deling."
"Hey…that makes me curious. How did you buy ladies' underwear anyway? Didn't you get funny looks or anything?"
"I took Seifer along with me and made him buy it, The Cashier didn't look shocked all."
"Haha! I could imagine."