This piece is very close to my heart and after I 'finished' it- it didn't feel finished, now -in three parts- it is.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own JONAS

"I'm standing here but you don't see me; I'd give it all for that to change" - Before the Storm

What kind of person was he to let this start? How did he let it get this far? He knew their feelings- so how could he do this to them and himself?

It was probably the forbidden nature of it all. The allure of the fruit, he told himself- but he knew it was so much more.

He couldn't help but love her. She was a goddess- frightening and terribly beautiful. He was unable to resist.

A man should never fall in love with his brother's crush- particularly when said crush returns those feelings. It's just asking for trouble- for heartbreak. It didn't matter whose heartbreak it was- either way it would hurt him, cripple him.

He knew better than anyone how Joe felt for Stella- Kevin couldn't persuade himself to think Joe didn't care for her and she for him. Things would be a lot easier if he wasn't Joe's brother. Easier still would be if he had stopped this train in its tracks.

There was no way he could've stopped it. More than ever before he couldn't stop it now- this train was headed for disaster. Kevin could only pray that he would be the only one that suffered. He could only hope that no one could see his pain.

He had a theory on love- why they said fall in love. It was like walking down a street and you gazed upward unable to look down to see where your feet land- you could step into a manhole and find yourself falling. Through no fault of your own you have fallen- and there is nothing you can do to reverse it. Even if you end up broken.

He tried to distract himself from it- plotting, obsessing over anything to keep his mind away from her. Anything would do- from hacky sack tournaments to Nick's blue cookies.

He tried pushing Joe and Stella together- hoping that when he saw them finally together and happy that the feelings would go away.

Clearly that was not the case- Joe and Stella were smitten with each other and his heart hurt more than he ever imagined possible.

He thought people were exaggerating when they claimed a broken heart. Now he truly knew a heart could break- his had shattered. It was a feeling he wouldn't wish on anyone- especially not his brother. The only comfort he found was that by taking the agony upon himself, he was saving Joe.

He found himself finally relating to dead poets and songwriters- he hated that fact more than anything, because he was not the one to write lyrics about his feelings. He had never felt the need to, now he ached to be able to articulate the words of his heart.

He did the only thing he knew better than anything- He played his guitar. The calluses on his fingertips grew thicker as he plucked and strummed his feelings. Nick and Macy praised him more and more- they could hear the emotion in his performance, but were unable to properly identify it.

Joe and Stella were ignorant of anything besides the other.

At concerts as Kevin poured every emotion he ever experienced into his guitar, and the fans cheered, even cried from the feelings emanating from his music.

Stella could only see Joe and it maimed him.

Nick and Macy were on alert- and tried to comfort him, even though they never could know the root of his anguish. They saw him slowly turn inward- they saw his smile fade. Stella and Joe failed to see it, he couldn't blame them- they were in love, but that didn't stop his heart from hurting even more.

Kevin found himself escaping into his guitar- with more blues than rock and roll.

The blues understood him- and now he knew the pain that all blues players must have felt in their life time.

He could only hope that it would heal him, maybe not soon- but eventually.

He had to believe it.