( While I've been guilty of it myself, I thought there was too much doom and gloom about Ianto's short but eventful life…so I came up with the idea of celebrating some of the good times..)

When my heart soared….

I

"Ianto Jones" – my name rang out in the auditorium. As I had shifted out of my seat and joined the other students, I had checked my flies, made sure the tassel of my mortarboard was hanging right and that my gown was not lopsided. Now, as I climbed the steps to the Vice Chancellor on stage to formally graduate, my heart swelled with pride. The noise of clapping filled my ears and I knew that somewhere our there was my sister. Like all the members of my family she wondered why I wanted to go to university – they didn't 'get it.' But here I was after three years hard work with a First Class degree and the 'first' of my family to be in such a position.

I concentrated hard on not tripping over my own feet, of not extending a clammy sweaty hand for the Vice Chancellor to shake and resisted the urge to turn and give the packed auditorium a 'black power' style raised fist in the air. It was a great day as a whole but my name being called is what I always remembered.

II

"You've got the job." Those weren't the exact words but that was the general gist. I was too excited, being told I had the job right at the end of my interview, to take the lift. Instead I skipped down several flights of stairs to use up excess energy and I probably looked a complete div as I'm sure I had a stupid grin on my face. My heart soared – the boy made good! The kid from a rather rough council estate in Cardiff was now going to be working in London, in Canary Wharf no less, for a secret organisation.

Especially in my one and only good suit and the Russell & Bromley shoes I had splashed out on, I felt a bit like James Bond. As I crossed the main reception area, which was a vision of marble and glass, I mentally said to myself, 'The name's Jones, Ianto Jones' and smiled even more.

I knew my role in the organisation was a small and insignificant one as a Junior Researcher but I considered it only a start on the career ladder. Look out world, here I come! Nothing but nothing would wipe the smile off my face as I swung out of the building to phone my mates Jamie and Tom to give them the good news and arrange to meet them in the local pub.

III

She was beautiful – there was no other word for her – but Lisa Hallett looked especially beautiful in the candlelight at the restaurant. It was our first proper date. We had exchanged jokey flirty banter at work and had had a drink together during a lunch break but this was a proper date – I had arranged to collect her, to take Lisa to a nice restaurant with good food and a romantic atmosphere. Like at work, the conversation flowed and sparkled and we talked about anything and everything. Her eyes shone at me across the table and occasionally she would touch my hand.

And then it happened – over coffee cups we both leaned over the table and kissed. My heart soared and burst and it felt like the greatest romantic moment you could ever imagine – or at least I could ever imagine. Probably the kiss lasted mere seconds but it felt like it lasted for hours, so lost in those lips, in her…my Lisa. I knew I would always remember this truly magical moment….

IV

It was Sunday afternoon on a hot summer day in Hyde Park. Lisa and I were sprawled out on the grass, like many others, trying to ignore the fact we had to go to work again in the morning. Stomachs full after our picnic, Lisa gave a contented sigh as she lay with her head on my stomach. Life couldn't get any better, I thought. Lisa and I had just moved in together and we could look forward to other summer Sundays like this.

We loved going to the parks because sometimes you could imagine that you weren't in the middle of such a big city because it was so peaceful. I lay there and stroked her cheek and neck with my eyes closed; listening to the sounds around me of Londoners of all ages enjoying themselves and my heart soared. Life was wonderful, my life with Lisa was wonderful and I knew I was incredibly lucky. I wished the moment could last…

V

"Oh, Yan," Jack gave a moaning shudder that sounded almost breathless, as fingers grabbed urgently at me; his lips, his tongue mauled at my mouth feverishly and then pulled back almost as if he couldn't stand it.

Yeah me, 'the quiet one' could turn the intergalactic playboy that was Captain Jack Harkness to complete mush – turn him inside out and flip him over like a pancake. I never knew quite what it was I did so right but I certainly did do something right. This would be the same me whose only previous experience with another guy was a rather drunk snog on a sofa at a house party while at uni – somewhat arousing but ultimately embarrassing (No one let me forget it for weeks after. I was on the first team for rugby, can you imagine? – 'Oh here comes the gay boy, Ianto'). It wasn't that I was bigheaded about what I could do with my 'power' over Jack, but rather that I was humbled by it; something unexplainable that made us act and react to each other perfectly. I felt somehow honoured that the walking ego trip, the swaggering Captain Jack Harkness, could just roll over and purr for me.

Heavy panting now occasionally punctuated by my name as I felt Jack's muscles increase in tension then stiffen with my last thrust into him. I saw pure ecstasy flicker in his eyes before they rolled back and in that same moment I felt an all too familiar warm powerful surge from my groin which swept up my body to the back of my head. This time it was my turn to grab at Jack rhythmically as I came so hard and so fast that I nearly passed out. My vision latticed red and black for a moment inside my eyelids as I tried to ride the feeling out.

A soft satisfied moan came from Jack as he sagged against me and then a moment later I did the same. Oh god, oh god…my heart wallowed blissfully in that moment, still locked together, just holding each other. Oh Jack, you wonderful beautiful bastard…these times are so good…

VI

It was my 26th birthday and I was pissed off. The day had started well – my sister had sent a birthday card a day early to be sure I had got it and my friend James, who I'd remained in vague contact with since uni, sent to a jokey rude email by way of birthday greetings. That was the sum total of it however….

There was nothing very exciting going on in the Hub but everyone seemed busy. I didn't want to declare it my birthday if no one had the good grace to remember it. By early afternoon, since it looked as if we'd all go home on time, I asked my colleagues if they fancied coming out for drink after work. Tosh asked if there was any special reason but I bit my lip and said no. Tosh said she had a science lecture she was going to at the university, Gwen said Rhys was cooking 'one of his specials' so she couldn't disappoint and Owen gave some vague mumbled reason why he couldn't come out either. Fine, see if I care.

This left Jack, who seemed permanently preoccupied and stressed. Much as I slightly sympathised with whatever Torchwood related work that was making him tetchy, I was rather miffed that he of all people had forgotten my birthday. This would be the same Jack who virtually lived with me now…and hadn't he noticed the card from my sister? – Bastard….

Time wound on. I tried not to let my Eyeore mood take over – after all, it was hardly a big milestone birthday was it? Jack eventually said that everyone could go when they were finished with what they were doing at about five and my pissy mood came back with a vengeance. Great – not even a slight whiff of doing anything special this evening. Right – on my way home I'm going to buy a nice bottle of something and lie in a bath full of bubbles and share a glass with Rubber Ducky….and most certainly not my fucking boyfriend who had forgotten my bloody birthday!

The others were saying their goodbyes when Jack presented me with a big box of random stuff that apparently needed putting away down in the basement. I gave him a rather withering 'could this not wait 'til tomorrow' look but Jack insisted that it had been hanging around his office too long already…and no time like the present. There were calls of 'See you in the morning, Yan' from Gwen and Tosh as I slouched off downstairs with the box. For a short while I banged about in a bad mood but then decided to sing to myself to make the job go quicker since I was down there all on my own. Right, done, home by way off the Offie, a nice hot bath awaits and the rest of you can all go fu….

My thoughts…and more so the expletive…flew out of my mind as I came back up to the main area of the Hub. There were my friends – Gwen, Tosh and Owen – and my boyfriend/boss, stood grinning at me by a table laden with party food and drink and topped off with 'Happy Birthday' balloons tied around the desk. A range of emotions went through me in quick succession – joy, embarrassment that I had misjudged them and a slight bashfulness at their effort.

"Happy birthday, Yan love," Gwen bobbed forward to give me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Happy birthday," Tosh, feeling a little awkward, didn't know whether to shake my hand or kiss me and settled on a brief hug.

"Happy birthday, mate," Owen flicked a half hearted smile at me, "I aint doing the kissing and hugging stuff, but all the best…"

"Happy birthday, Ianto," Jack's eyes twinkled at me mischievously, telling me that we would leave hugging and kissing until later because it tended to make the others feel awkward and made Owen mutter darkly about 'getting a room.'

Next came the presents – which were a great mix of both practical and funny. The best, of course, came from Jack, which was a pair of cufflinks I'd been admiring since Christmas and might have mentioned….um, probably several times.

"They are the right ones, aren't they Yanny?" Jack whispered.

"Yes…yes, they are…thanks," I whispered back. I couldn't resist putting my arm across his back as they all raised their glasses to me. I forced down a slight feeling of emotion in my throat as my heart soared. Oh thanks you lot, bless you all…

VII

The day was done – finally. It had been one heck of a day but now everything was sorted and it was time to head home. It was a summer evening in Cardiff – a bit of wind coming across the bay – but pleasant…and nice to not always leave the Hub after dark. Mental and physical exhaustion showed in the way we had all tidied up quickly and left and in the way that Jack and I now stood staring into space in silence.

At last Jack gave a tired sigh, stretched out his arms and cracked his knuckles, "A short walk before we head home?"

I nodded. I knew once we reached the flat it would be eating something for supper and slobbing on the sofa for the rest of the evening….in fact, give us half an hour after eating and we'd both probably be out for the count. I felt I needed to pick Jack up about one thing though…

"Home? That would be my home?" I asked cheekily.

The Captain almost looked bashful, "Well…"

"S'all right," I jogged his arm with my own, "I'm rather pleased that you consider it yours too. You do pay your way I suppose. Our home, right?"

"Right," Jack replied and took my hand, "Kinda nice to have somewhere to call home. I haven't had one in a while…"

"I know," I smiled back, squeezing his hand.

As I looked ahead again as we continued to walk I caught the eye of what I can only describe as a chav and he was seriously eyeballing me in a rather sneering way. I eyeballed him back. What? I'm holding this guy's hand…you want to make something of it? I glared at him until he backed off, flicking his eyes back to his jailbait girlfriend. One day, I thought, hopefully in the not too distant future no one will even look at two men holding hands in public they way they wouldn't even look if it were a man and woman…

"So, cooking or getting a take-out?" Jack asked as we finally stopped and turned about.

"Take out, Chinese."

"Oh yes. Chinese is good. Prawn balls, that's all I'm saying…"

We sniggered at our own private joke and behind the smile on his lips I saw it in his eyes – the love. Jack Harkness would probably never say it out loud but in the one moment my heart soared because I knew…I knew he cared about me, I knew he needed me, I knew Jack loved me. The wind whipped at our hair and at Jack's greatcoat but it felt like a simple moment in time had been frozen…

"I am so famished," Jack broke the spell and started to walk faster back towards the car.

"I would say I'd race you, but after today I'm knackered," I caught up the pace and despite my words, increased it.

Another slight look and Jack raised a 'really?' eyebrow at me…before he broke into a run.

"Last one back to the car gets the prawn balls!' I laughed as I overtook him.

-x-

My name is Ianto Jones and I was only 26 when I died. However please don't feel sad for me. We all have our rough times but I had a life with some wonderful people and precious memories in it.

Smile at my memories – they're etched forever

END