Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. Flying kittens be damned

Common Misconceptions About Rivalries

by Ethan Hibiki

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That rivals are enemies

Let's face it: some rivals are dicks and probably have long poles shoved up their asses, but it doesn't mean that we are sworn enemies.

Take me, for example. I have a bastard of a rival named Silver.

Silver and I have been in this rivalry since we're ten years old. We have the same goals, same interests (pokemon battling) and the same ambitions. And since we're almost alike in some aspects, we thought turn everything into a competition.

The truth, people: competition.

We don't try to kill each other every time our paths cross, and we don't give a damn about what the other's doing. We're in this never-ending competition that revolves only around ourselves and our goals.. Our main goal is to win, and we wouldn't win if we don't focus.

That's why Silver and I aren't enemies. We only harmlessly insult each other, and insults don't kill, right?

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That rivals will be best friends for life

It is so not true! After the rivalry, Silver and I degenerated to being friends, then to being acquaintances who say our hellos whenever we bump into each other. However, I have to admit that we sometimes play harmless games of Go Fish (where I can kick his ass again and again, ha!), and engage ourselves in drinking contests.

Okay, maybe I'm just tricking myself into thinking that we're just acquaintances. Lyra, his girlfriend, once said that our rivalry never died, and we can turn everything into a competition.

So Silver and I can never be best friends for life, but rivals for life!

Isn't that amazing?

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That rivalries are overrated

Probably true, probably not. Almost every game I play in my gamecube has this rivalry thing going on, but most of them are not.

I'm also disappointed in how people treat our rivalry like it's the whole game itself! No! Even without the rival, there is a plot. A plot, people! A plot!

But sometimes, it's fascinating to watch how you kick your rival's ass over and over again.

So overrated rivalries are probably a good thing. Teehee.

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That rivals are gay

Sorry to disappoint you, fangirls, but I am not gay. I've repeated this countless of times over press cons, but you never listen. Just because I like Butterfrees doesn't mean I'm gay. Just because I like rainbows doesn't mean I'm gay, either. Silver's probably gay, but that's my hypothesis through careful observation and experimentation. And just because I'm observing a fellow dude doesn't mean I'm gay!

Admit it, fangirls. I am the epitome of machoness. May all females bow down before me and appreciate the glory that is my body.. Ethan Hibiki is suave. Ethan Hibiki is macho. Ethan Hibiki is not gay.

The above statements do not apply to Silver.

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That rivals are gay for each other

I browse fanfiction numerous times over the internet. But oh, the horror! I found these interesting stories that revolve around my blossoming bromance with Silver, my rival, and my life was never the same again!

I was corrupted! I dared not open fanfiction again! This is the reason why I wrote this piece, people. I want to clear up everything once and for all.

I am not gay. Silver is gay. We are not gay for each other.

I'm aware that fangirls love the idea of two males engaging in the unspeakable, but actually applying the unspeakable to rivals who don't care a shit about each other? In tarnation!

Please, fangirls. Using me and Silver to fulfil your hidden desires is an insult to my well-being.

Besides, Silver has a girlfriend, and he's her bitch. Does that help?

I am not, in any way, prejudiced to homosexuals.

Read, review, and pardon my craziness.