A/N: Another Puckleberry fic! I'm addicted to them - what can I say? This is a future fic and does feature Lee Dewyze's Dear Isabelle. I own neither the song nor Glee. Let me know what you think! I adore reviews.
Rachel moved around her studio apartment, cleaning up while the TV played in the background. It had been weeks since she'd had time to clean and although her place wasn't messy per say it wasn't up to her usual standards. With her show starting in two days the director had given them a few days off to rest and prepare for the show.
Her dreams were finally coming true. She would be starring in her first Broadway show, playing Christine Daae in The Phantom of the Opera. With all the ups and downs she had been through in the last few years she couldn't help but be thankful for the upturn of events.
Her attention was suddenly drawn to the TV as a familiar voice cut through her thoughts.
I found this faded picture
Of you and me on Lake Michigan
You were smiling,
The wind was blowing in your hair
I think it's been around 5 years
And everything and nothing's changed
God, I wish that you were here
I know I should've called
I know I should've stayed
I should've said a lot of things
I hope it's not too late
Dear Isabelle
Been thinking about you
Dear Isabelle
So lonely without you
I pretended I was doing well
But without you it's been hell
Dear Isabelle
Oooh oooh oooh
Sometimes I'm not good with words
But you knew that so I wrote this verse
In hopes that it would
Someday reach your ears
And I still wonder where you are
But it doesn't matter cause it's still too far
The lake has never looked so clear
I know I should've called
I know I should've stayed
I should've said a lot of things
I hope it's not too late
Dear Isabelle
Been thinking about you
Dear Isabelle
So lonely without you
I pretended I was doing well
But without you it's been hell
Dear Isabelle
It's hard for me to write this
Is it hard for you to know that I still care
Would it kill you to forgive me
Come on, Isabelle
I know that you're out there
I know I should've called
I know I should've stayed
I should've said a lot of things
I hope it's not too late
Dear Isabelle
Been thinking about you
Dear Isabelle
So lonely without you
I pretended I was doing well
But without you it's been hell
Dear Isabelle
Oooh Oooh Oooh
She knew that voice, it was one that she couldn't forget. A voice that haunted her dreams, her thoughts, her whole life.
"Thank you for joining us on TRL. As you all know I'm Tina and you just saw the debut of the video for "Dear Isabelle" by rock sensation Puck." The VJ on the screen was no other than Tina Cohen-Chang, the quiet Goth girl whom she'd been in Glee with, but she looked nothing like the girl that she had known.
She'd heard through the grapevine that Tina had landed a job with MTV, but hadn't been aware that she'd become a VJ. It suited her just as the new look did. Gone were the Goth clothes and the streaks in her hair. On the screen was a beautiful woman in stylish clothes, a woman who obviously enjoyed her job.
"For those of you just joining us I have here with me Puck." The camera panned out and there he was, lounging in a chair beside Tina. "And I know you'll all find it hard to believe but I knew Puck way back when, a time when we were in the Glee club at our high school." Tina turned to smile at Puck. "I'll be honest I never thought either of us would be where we are now."
Puck laughed. "You and me both, Tina."
Tina leaned back in her chair. "But let's talk about this video of yours. A great video as usual, but I want to know about the song. You wrote the song, correct?"
"Yeah, I actually wrote all of the songs off of this album. I'm quite proud of it."
"As you should be. The album is great." Tina looked into the camera. "For those of you who haven't already pick up Puck's album Isabelle." She paused before looking back to Puck. "But what I, and I'm sure the rest of the women in America, want to know is there an Isabelle in your life?"
A sad smile slid across Puck's face. "The song was inspired by someone that I loved - well that I still love - and I screwed up with. Not really a surprise is it, Tina? I never was much good at relationships."
Tina laughed. "At least not back in high school. But we all have to grow up sometime. Tell me about your Isabelle. Does she have a name? Is it someone that I know?" She winked at the camera.
"Yeah I don't think she would appreciate me announcing her name to the whole world - or America at least." Puck shook his head. "Although I imagine she knows who she is, but just in case she doesn't I want to make sure that she does. She needs to know that I know how badly I messed up and that I miss her." He looked directly into the camera. "I will always remember that night, the night you told me you'd give up everything for me. That night has been imprinted on my brain."
Rachel felt tears fill her eyes because she did know (now) that this song was about her, that he was talking about and to her. That night was a night she would never be able to forget either.
It was summer and the night was both hot and sticky without even a breeze to cool them down as they sat on the tailgate of his truck staring out at Lake Winona. She was home from school for the summer and he'd never left. He'd always meant to leave Lima, but he just hadn't yet found his ticket out.
Their hanging out had happened by accident since Rachel hadn't really kept in contact with anyone once she'd headed off to New York. She'd ran into him at Temple and had been shocked to see him there, but the next thing she'd known they wereinseparable. Feelings that she'd thought she'd gotten over resurfaced which had complicated their friendship especially when she'd realized that he still felt something for her as well. They'd fallen into bed together and she'd found that the rumors of his prowess were not at all exaggerated.
But now the summer was drawing to a close and they had yet to talk about what was to come next. She didn't know what they would do, but she knew that she didn't want to go on without him by her side.
"Noah…" Her voice was just above a whisper, her head resting on his shoulder.
"Hmmm?"
"We need to talk about what we're going to do now that summer's almost over. I'm supposed to head back to school next week." She pulled back far enough from him to look up into his face, a face that revealed nothing about what he was thinking. "I love you Noah. I can't live without you. I'm not going back."
His sharp intake of breath was the only sign that he'd heard her as he remained silent, but when she opened her mouth to speak he held up a hand to stop her. "You are going back Rachel." He paused, looking away from her. "This has gotten a little out of control. I don't love you. This was just a summer fling, I'm sorry that you thought it was something else."
As the words spilled from his mouth Rachel couldn't breathe, feeling like her air supply had been cut off. How could she have been so wrong? She'd known that he felt the same way about her. Or at least she'd thought that she had. But if that was the case then why was he saying these things? The tears began to fall and her body began to shake with sobs.
Puck looked at her, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Rachel." He stood up, walking around the truck without looking back at her. "I'll bring you home."
She'd never seen him act so cold to her before and it broke her heart. She had been so wrong about him and now her heart was broken.
"So what happened on this night?" Tina asked, leaning closer.
Puck laughed. "You're a little nosey, you know that right?"
It was Tina's turn to laugh now. "Of course, that's my job. Plus I want to know."
"What I'll tell you is that I broke her heart so that she wouldn't give up on her dreams for me because I wasn't worth it."
"But you're worth it now?"
Puck shook his head. "No, no one is worth her giving her dreams up for. But I wanted her to know that I was sorry, that it hurt me to lie to her that day and that I still love her."
Tina smiled. "Well I hope that she's watching then because the Puck I knew would never put himself out there like that." She turned back to the camera. "So if you're out there watching Puck's Isabelle I think he deserves another chance. For now we're going to take a break, see you on the other side."
Rachel sank onto the couch, mind going in a million different directions at once. She'd spent the last five years believing that Puck had never cared about her. It had taken her months to even begin to think about him without breaking down in tears. When he'd first hit the music scene a year ago she'd heard his music and had been proud, but she'd still felt a pang in her chest.
Since then he'd been everywhere that she turned and it had driven her crazy. She'd found herself growing more and more angry over the fact that he was famous before her, that the jerk who had ripped her heart out had realized his dreams before she'd realized hers.
But now hearing his words she began to doubt everything that she'd thought for the last five years. Was he telling the truth? Was the song really about her? Deep down in her heart she knew it was. But the question was could she forgive him for the heartache that he'd caused her - even if it had been for her own good? She sighed as she buried her head in her hands. If he'd been on TRL that meant that he was in New York which meant that if she chose to she could see him. But did she want to? Tears began to slide down her cheeks without her even noticing. She just didn't know what to believe.
She didn't know how long she sat there, crying over a man that she'd thought that she'd never see again but a knock on her door jarred her from her thoughts. Who was knocking at her door? She couldn't think of a single person who would be coming to visit her. Standing slowly she tried to compose herself as she walked to the door, throwing it open.
"Noah?" The shock was immediate, but she should've known that he would come. Without another word she threw herself into his arms because the moment that she'd seen him outside her door her decision had been made. Really there had been no decision to make. She still loved him and always would.