To Hate and Luvs, I don't know if you're reading this but if you are, I'm not offended by your question because what you don't understand you don't understand and I would love to answer it but unfortunately I can't exactly respond to you if you're logging in as an anonymous reviewer. If you could, can you please create an account and PM me? Thank you very much!
I wish everyone a happy holidays!
"Do you like snow, Phantom?"
Phantom turned his gaze from the wintery night outside to Freud's amused face from his comfortable perch on the windowsill.
He hummed a bit in contemplation, eyes straying to the swirling white before replying, "I suppose it's pretty to look at but I have no preference either way." He looked towards his friend curiously. "Why do you ask?"
Freud shook his head, returning to scouring his bookshelves. "You just seemed so fascinated with the scenery outside." He paused, his lips twitching as he continued, "Or maybe you were simply admiring your own reflection."
Phantom straightened and preened. "And why wouldn't I? Such a handsome and dazzling face deserves attention."
Freud chuckled. "Careful, Phantom. It's only a short step away from a narcissistic personality disorder."
"Who's to say I don't already have it?" Phantom asked mischievously. "But in all seriousness, I suppose it's because I've lived in a desert practically my whole life that watching crystallized white powder falling from the sky never seems to lose its fascination."
"Indeed it's a beautiful sight," Freud remarked as he made his way over to the window and towards Phantom, gazing at the flurries twirling in the wind. "And how miraculous that it should snow on the same day as the birth of the Goddess of Charity. Perhaps it's a gift from her."
"A gift huh? It's not one I would ask for, pretty as it is," Phantom mused.
"Oh? And what would you like as a gift instead then?" Freud asked, shifting his gaze towards the thief and away from the snowy night outside.
There was a pregnant pause as Phantom continued staring outside, eyes following the darting snowflakes as his heart swelled with sudden sadness.
"I don't suppose happiness can be wrapped in ribbons can it?" he whispered, smiling ruefully.
Freud didn't speak as he stared contemplatively at Phantom. Finally, he released a small, quiet sigh and put a hand gently on his shoulder, garnering him the thief's attention.
"Happiness isn't something given, Phantom. It is earned," he answered softly, looking into saddened pools of violet.
"Well haven't I earned it already?" he asked bitterly, turning back towards the window and glaring at the scenery outside.
"… I don't know. Have you?"
Phantom's lips pressed together into a thin line as he drew his brows together into a vague expression of righteous anger. "Even if I didn't earn it, I certainly deserve it."
Freud's hand slid off Phantom's shoulder and the thief looked inquisitively towards him. "I don't disagree with you in that regard. If anyone deserves happiness, it would be you," the mage began. "But happiness does not discriminate in such a way. It discriminates by the amount of effort you have put into finding it. Tell me Phantom, what would make you happy?"
Phantom paused to consider the question.
If he were the person he was before Aria, he would have instantly answered jewels and riches, glamor and fame, mountains of unlimited wealth pouring in a never-ending river into his vaults enough for him to buy the entire world if he wished.
But he was no longer that person. The thought of limitless treasure no longer held its old appeal nor did it fill his dreams or his ambitions as much as it used to because it didn't fill the void left behind by Aria's death and it would never amount to the pricelessness of her life. He still loved wealth but they have now turned to almost ashes in his eyes whenever he looked at his trove and wondered if all the world's treasure was enough to compensate for his loss. The answer was a resounding no.
His profession may have given him the world but Aria had given him his life.
Aria…
His gaze flicked over towards Freud.
No, not just Aria. Freud too had given him just as much as Aria had; what he had needed and what he now wanted. And what he wanted was…
"Something, anything to fill up my life," Phantom replied softly.
Freud's oceanic blues lit brightly at the answer, incandescent irises swirling with an indiscernible brilliancy that stirred something within Phantom as he gazed into those eyes. "Then find it," he said firmly. "Chase it, capture it, and embrace it. Do what you must but never let it go. Never lose sight of it."
A smile slipped across his lips. "Then..." he murmured, leaning closer. "Is it okay if I chased you?"
An identical smile stole across Freud's face as he mirrored Phantom's movement and leaned forward as well. "Do what you must but never let it go. Never lose sight of it," he repeated, breath ghosting teasingly across pale lips.
Phantom's smile turned into a grin as he closed the distance between them.
It may be true that happiness wasn't something that's given but what was Freud then if not his happiness in mortal form?
Whoever said that happiness couldn't be wrapped in ribbons?