Outside Looking In
Rating: K
Pairing: non-romantic Zuko x Suki
Well, here is the second of the oneshots I had planned to write before diving back into my ongoing story. This one deals with possible difficulties in blending into an already tight knit group of friends. Just some kind of light fluff, so hope you all enjoy it.
As the thin soup slid awkwardly down his throat, Zuko felt his golden eyes come to rest on the center of the flame flickering in the center of the group of teen heroes. The soft red and golden tint to the flame reminded him of home, memories bringing a dull aching to his chest as he thought of those he had left behind.
But more than that, he found himself listening idly to the conversation passing between the members of the Avatar's little gang. Lifting his gaze, he watched their faces as they spoke, watched how relaxed and comfortable they seemed with one another. Watched the easy way their bodies came into contact, pleasant nudges or playful smacks when one said something strange or misguided.
He could almost feel their words excluding him, could almost see the conversation pass before his eyes. The dull aching in his heart deepened as he listened to them joke and goof around, knowing that they were probably not doing it intentionally. At least, most of them. Katara, he figured, would definitely like to leave him out of anything involving the rest of the group.
Yet knowing it was near accidental did nothing to dull the sharpening pain in his chest, his mind flashing with memories of a little village in the Earth Kingdom. How they had first welcomed him, only to shun him after learning his identity. He couldn't help but wonder if his identity was still the problem now.
They had each given him a chance to prove himself, to be useful to the team in one way or another. For Aang, it was the fire bending lessons, finding the source of all fire bending at the beginning of his time in the group. Sokka had wanted to rescue his father, and so Zuko had accompanied him as well. They had succeeded in that goal, and more, bringing along Sokka's girlfriend who had also been captured.
Scanning the group, his eyes rested on the little earth bender, watching as she laughed along with the group at some joke spoken at Sokka's expense. The almost familial way they acted with one another made him think of his place in the group. What was he to them?
He could not help but notice the distance between him and the rest of the group, their bodies drawn so close to almost be considered a single entity. Complete trust and respect, earned from a long, perilous journey around the world. The protective older sister, the mischievous and rebellious younger sister, the goofy but responsible older brother and the naïve, occasionally awkward younger brother.
The dull ache became a heavy thud, his chest filled with jealousy at the look of the small band of warriors gathered from the corners of the world. A whole unit, close knit from covering each other's backs through difficult encounters and potentially deadly battles all over the world.
And he knew in that moment what his standing was. He was an interloper. He had something of use to the group, and so they allowed him to tag along, offering his help when it might be required or requested. They would try and include him in their group, smile and laugh with him, but he could tell that it was not the same.
Not forced, but not as natural as when it was just the four of them. Mentally he scolded himself, wondering what he had expected when he joined them. Did he really just expect it to be so easy? Did he really think that they would be able to just forgive all the times he had tried to capture the Avatar, placing the rest of the group in mortal danger at the same time.
Toph had not been there when he was a different person, an angrier person lost and confused in a world where his own father had banished him for simply speaking out of turn. If she had, he wondered if she would have been as accepting of him as she had been, her voice the only kind one when he had first sought to join their group. He wondered, if he had been her enemy at one point, would she have forgiven him, or would he have ended up with a heavy piece of stone lodged in his chest?
Watching the firelight flicker against their faces, he watched with a detached sort of sadness as they smiled, the laughs and joy filling the small clearing where they had set up camp. He felt that he would never truly be a part of that unit. Feeling an almost sad bitterness set in, Zuko excused himself from the group, thanking Katara for the food before slowly making his way towards the nearby bluff overlooking the ocean.
As he walked away, he heard the conversation take only a momentary turn from its original tone, Toph asking what was wrong with him before being shushed by Sokka. The younger boy muttered something that was probably intended to be vaguely insulting, but Zuko just shrugged it off, letting the cool night's air wash over him.
Standing at the edge of the small outcropping of rock, he watched the dark rise and fall of the sea beneath him. Light sprays of foam hit him in the face, further cooling him amidst the chill of night. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply of the now familiar ocean scent, a familiarity earned after three years at sea on a wild goose chase.
The crisp, salty air filled his senses, lightly tickling his nostrils as he breathed the cooling mixture in. A small smile crept on his face at the somewhat ironic twist, wondering what his people would say if they knew how relaxing their Prince found the opposing element in its most raw form.
He stood like that, simply taking in the calming simplicity of the vast ocean. Letting the night air wash over him, he listened to the soft roar of the tides beneath him, imagining the crashing of the waves against the sturdy rock of the island.
Not paying particular attention to his surroundings, the usually alert prince failed to notice a second presence sneak upon him. If he had not been so preoccupied, he would have heard the soft crunch of grass and soil behind him. The first thing he did notice was a soft pressure against his back, sending him nearly tumbling into the sea before him.
Waving his arms crazily back and forth, he managed to hold his balance long enough to fall backwards instead of forward, his backside landing with a heavy thud on the ground behind him. Clutching his nervously beating heart, he felt annoyed as a soft fit of laughter flitted in his ears easily.
"Wow, I thought you would be more alert than that," a young woman's voice said, drawing his attention towards her as he craned his neck backwards. Looking at the now upside down view of the world, he noticed a pair of ruby lips pulled into an amused smile, almost the kind of smile his sister might have worn. But the eyes glowed with a more innocent kind of amusement than the cold stare of the Fire Princess.
"What do you want?" he asked roughly, his lips pulling into their most familiar form, a tight scowl crossing his face as he allowed himself to lay flat on the grass, hands spread out on either side of him. Taking a deep breath, the scarred teen let the pointed ends of the grass brush against the back of his neck, mingling with the messy locks of black hair.
"Nothing, really," she responded, shrugging her shoulders as she set herself next to the older boy without even waiting for permission. He turned his gaze onto the inky sky above him, watching as the pinpricks of light shone through the black sheet cast over the world.
"So what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be hanging out with the others?" he said, his voice holding an odd bitterness as he spoke, his fingers clutching at the ground, pulling a few stray blades of grass from the ground before letting them waft away on the subtle ocean breeze.
"I could ask you the same thing," she answered back casually, tracing small circles on the grass as she watched a patch of clouds waft in front of the moon. The ocean seemed to calm just a bit more as the moon became obscured for a moment, as though its influence was lessened by the odd puffs of water vapor.
Shutting his eyes to the dark void above, Zuko sighed heavily, debating on whether to share his thoughts with this girl he barely knew, or tell her to get lost in his most annoyed sounding voice like he might have done with Ty Lee. Figuring that he didn't want to cause any more problems between himself and the group, he decided to answer, but vaguely.
"Just thinking is all. Doesn't feel very… comfortable over there," he said, his eyes opening a bit as he spoke. Idly his hand reached out, mindlessly attempting to grasp the very stars from their perch in the sky.
"Like you're not quite part of the group, right?" she said, filling in his thought almost to the letter. Turning his gaze to her, he noticed an odd sadness, a feeling passing through him as he wondered how she could have known what he was thinking.
"Yeah, something like that. How did you know?" he asked, pulling his hands beneath his body, propping himself up on his elbows as he watched the girl slip into deep thought for a moment, a familiar lonely expression on her face. A look he had grown so accustomed to during his exile. One he had at one time doubted anyone else could display.
"Just a feeling," she answered, annoying him a bit with her vagueness of response. He watched the soft rustling of her hair in the breeze, the light red material marking a Fire Nation prisoner fluttering around her slender frame.
"How can you get that feeling? I mean, Sokka's always all over you," he muttered, smirking a bit as the girl blushed faintly in the soft moonlight. But it faded quickly, embarrassment again replaced with the sad sort of expression that somehow surprised him to see it on her face.
"Well, why should I tell you anything?" she asked, challenge in her voice as she focused her sea blue eyes on the young man at her side, her right brow arching upward as she waited for some sort of reply.
"I suppose you don't have to. But, I figure you came over here because you need to talk about something. And since I'm here, you might as well talk to me," he reasoned, his voice barely holding steady as he spoke. He watched as the girl's brow dropped, her arms wrapping around her red cloaked legs as they pulled up towards her chest.
"Smart-ass," she muttered under her breath, finding a smile gracing her sweet lips as he laughed a bit, the ice close enough to broken for comfort for both. "It's just… it always feels like there's this whole other conversation going on between them, you know?" she asked, her voice laced with a sad longing, a desire to share in their experiences.
"Like they're always talking in a 'you had to be there' kind of way?" he asked in return, the girl nodding in response. "I noticed," Zuko said sourly, the aching in his chest throbbing a bit at the thought. Thinking of all the shared smiles, the easy way they joked around with one another.
"I can tell they're trying, and I'm sure it'll happen eventually, but it's just weird. Knowing all the stuff they've been through, that I'll never have been part of," Suki said, a deep sigh escaping her lips as she brushed a few strands of auburn hair behind her ears.
"At least you don't have the fact that you tried to catch the Avatar against you. And you're practically Sokka's chew toy," Zuko said, earning him a nudge square in the chest from the younger girl. His body dropping back to the ground, he still felt the smirk trying to tug at his lips as he coughed, trying to get back to normalized breathing.
"Shut up, Zuko. I'm no one's "chew toy"," she said, distinct tones of indignation on her voice as she glared at the scarred boy, taking a certain delight in the gasps for breath from the fire bender.
"I don't know. You two are pretty much always together, and he's always got his paws on you. Seems like a pretty clear situation to me," he said, his breath returning as he spoke. Moving a bit to the side, he managed to avoid another elbow to the chest, his smirk widening at the look of frustration on the girl's face.
"He's… I don't know. Sometimes it feels like he's trying too hard to get me used to things, like I've had some horrible trauma happen to me," she said, settling her arms around her legs again, watching her feet make a subtle imprint against the thin blades of grass.
"Well, you were in Fire Nation prison," Zuko responded, the girl rolling her eyes at him as he mentioned the place as a trauma.
"I guess that could be traumatic for any normal person. But I am the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. It would be a disgrace if that could break me," she said, her hands tightening around her legs, giving Zuko a distinct impression that it had been more difficult than she had been willing to admit.
"True enough," he answered simply, deciding it wasn't a good idea to push the matter. He himself didn't particularly enjoy it when people prodded into his past, so it would be rather hypocritical of him to do it to another.
"Oh, like you can talk. You were there for, what, a day?" she teased, the implication clear in her voice as she smirked towards the older boy. His scowl deepened, his eyes narrowing as he pulled himself into a sitting position.
"What are you trying to say? That I couldn't take it in prison?" he asked, not liking to hear his honor or toughness questioned.
"That's exactly what I'm saying," she shot back, prodding the boy square in the chest.
"I see you enjoy some revisionist history. Remind me who it was who beat you, and two other 'warriors' back on Kyoshi Island?" Zuko challenged back, grasping the girl's wrist as he pushed her finger away from his chest. He smirked as her confident look disappeared, contorting into one of anger and frustration as the memory sparked in her mind.
"That… that was just because it was a surprise," she said, feeling oddly flustered by the memory, frustrated with how easily Zuko had managed to defeat her and two other skilled warriors simultaneously.
"Oh, so it was a surprise that I managed to fight back after getting jumped by three girls?" he challenged again, his royal pride boiling up to the surface as he recalled the memory, curious as to just how much more skilled she might have become.
"Well, Sokka was there," she said, not sure what that had to do with anything. She knew she was scrambling for some hint of self confidence from the matter, but was having a hard time finding any. Zuko blinked a few times in surprise, thinking back intently on the matter.
"Wait, one of those 'girls' in the face paint was… Sokka?" he asked, barely holding back a snort of laughter as he imagined the younger boy decked out in the trademark garb of the traditionally female warriors.
"Yeah," she said, her own eyes widening as Zuko burst into a short fit of laughter, his mind filled with thoughts of the "serious" warrior dressing like a girl.
"Wow, I never would have guessed. He seems so good with the girls, it's surprising to learn that he's into that sort of thing," he laughed, unable to contain his rapture at the image of the young man sporting women's clothes. After a moment, Suki found herself smiling as well, recalling how awkward Sokka had been when first donning the garb, how embarrassed he had been.
"Well, that was after I beat him and he said he wanted to train under me," she said, a wistful look crossing her eyes as she thought back to her first meeting with the Avatar's group. At the beginning of their quest, before they had truly gone through the difficulties of war. How things had changed.
"That's not saying much," Zuko joked, finding himself enjoying the sound of the girl's laughter at the poor evaluation of the Water Tribe boy's skills as a warrior. "I don't think I could ever see him as a skilled warrior, after beating him so easily the first time with no weapon," he said, remembering back to his foray against the Southern Water Tribe.
"How many times did you guys fight?" she asked, a genuine curiosity in the matter. She had snuck up on him on their first encounter, then had fought him only in sparring matches after that so she wondered if he was more capable in a true fight.
"Only a couple of times. I still can't believe he hit me with that stupid boomerang," he said, rubbing the back of his head as the girl's laugh lightened, imagining the brooding, intense Fire Prince getting whacked with a boomerang.
"Now that's something I would love to have seen," she said, earning a groan of annoyance from the older boy. As the night wore on, the pair continued talking, from things like warrior tactics and fighting techniques to their respective homelands, and people they had known during the war.
Before long, the moon had taken up its track down the night sky, finding two teens leaning against one another as their eyes began to hood closed. Each felt a smile holding on their lips as they found themselves enjoying the strange company of the other.
"It's pretty late. Think they noticed that we were missing?" Suki asked, casting a subtle look behind her, feeling his raven hair brushing against her neck. She had made a comment on how weird it was to see a guy with hair almost as long as hers, and had been surprised by how oddly soft it was.
"You, maybe. But I don't think they'd notice if I was gone unless I didn't show up for Aang's fire bending practice," Zuko said, traces of his sadness from earlier that evening echoing on his words.
"Just give it time, Zuko. I'm sure they'll open up to you eventually," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder as she pulled herself to her feet. Taking her hand, he let her pull him to his own feet, stretching his legs as he tried to get the blood flowing more freely.
"Not if Katara has anything to say about it," Zuko said, shuddering a bit at the recollection of her clear threat on his first day among the group.
"I could talk to her for you, if you want?" Suki offered helpfully, realizing how much he had changed from her first impression of him. He had told her of his deep regrets, of how sorry he felt to think back on his past actions.
"That's nice of you, but I have to handle it myself," he said, smiling gratefully for even the offer of help in the situation.
"I'm sure she'll come around, but if you ever want to talk, feel free to come to me. You don't have to keep it all to yourself," she offered, smiling as she made her way back towards the camp leaving the young man on his own.
Casting his gaze towards the sea, he watched as it seemed to mirror the sky above, the ripples in the darkened mirror the only hint that the world was not flipped upside down. Taking a final breath of cool sea air, he let the smile slowly fade from his lips, leaving behind a subtle feeling of warmth.
Even though he was on the outside of their group for now, at least there was another member of the group who seemed to know what he was going through. And maybe that was enough for now.
As I said, just a nice scene between the two of them, so hope you enjoyed it. I definitely got some inspiration for 'Warrior's Connection' during this small break, so I am excited to get back to writing that one. Just hope it doens't get too contrived as it progresses. Anyway, thoughts always welcome, on stuff like how much I messed up the characters and stuff like that. Until next time, good readers.