A/N: I really don't like Sam Carter.

Crossing the street with two members of her team, Samantha Spade was suddenly engulfed in white light and felt herself propelled off her feet as though by a strong wind or electrical current. It was the same sensation as the deep plummet of a high roller coaster. Just when she thought she'd pass out from it, she felt her body make hard contact with the ground and she rolled to a stop.

As the darkness caused by the brightness left her eyes, she called,

"Jack, what was that?"

An unfamiliar voice answered, "How the hell should I know. You're the smart one."

Someone else spoke, "I hope it wasn't another energy spike that gets us a black hole or submerged in Antarctica."

"Danny?" Sam asked, her vision still not 100%.

"Um – Sam?" the voice asked back, sounding a little confused. "Are you all right?"

"No I'm not all right." She stood up, rubbing the spot on her head that hit the pavement and found herself facing two men she didn't know. Both wore military uniforms and carried weapons.

"Where's Jack?"

"Right here." One man said.

"Where's Danny?"

"Uh – right here. Sammy." The other man said, sounding a little snippy.

"Where's Martin?"

"Martouf?" Snippy Danny asked. "You know – he's – he's –." He seemed to be indicating some terrible fate.

"Not Mar-TOOTH." She snapped. "Mar-TIN. Where's Vivian? Where are we? What's going on?"

"Uh – Captain?" This Jack got her attention. He pointed to her chest. "You wanna zip it up there? You're practically out of uniform. In fact you're practically out of everything."

Sam looked down. Her blouse was unbuttoned to its customary middle button but it was a military shirt like they were wearing and not the slinky silk white one she'd been wearing before. . She quickly did the buttons.

"You have no idea what trouble you're in." She warned them. "When Jack –."

"Yeah?"

"And Danny -."

"Daniel."

"And Martin -."

"That's Martouf –."

"Find out I'm missing they're going to be all over you."

"Yeah, whatever." This Jack pulled on a pair of sunglasses and turned away. "Uh – Danny – you wanna give me the run down here?"

Meanwhile – across the galaxy

"I've got it!" Sam Carter cried triumphantly. "It's another parallel universe!"

"Parallel shmarallel, can we get back to work?" A voice muttered from behind a partition. It was this universe's Daniel. Danny he liked to be called.

"Sam?" This Jack asked. He sounded like he was trying to be very patient with a very stupid person. "Right now, you're not the missing person. Okay? Can we maybe focus on somebody else for a change?"

"No! You don't understand! I've figured it out! Now all we need is for somebody else to make it go away and then I can take all the credit!"

"Sam-."

"Jack." Sam suddenly grinned. "See? That proves it. My universe has Jack in a leadership position. So does this one. My universe has Daniel. Yours has – well – A Daniel."

"I prefer DANNY." The voice still came from behind the partition. Sam refused to be stopped.

"And well, OK, you don't have Teal'c, but Vivian is black and she does have a son."

"And where does Martin fit into all of this?" Jack asked.

"Well, I guess he'd be like Siler, or maybe even the airmen at the gate controls. You know, we see him all the time but we never learn anything about him…"

"Wonderful." Jack said. He covered his eyes with his hands.

"Thank you sir. But really, it was a team effort!"

The end. For now.