Dear dicksucker816,
I'm happy to know you are confident enough to let me know how many dicks you've sucked. I have a fat friend who was wondering if he could be number 817?! I also appreciate the concern you have towards my career choice. You have made a passionate move up my friends list. I am very sorry I disappointed you with this story, but I have received some positive feedback from a more professional person who happens to be my college professor. We both did have a kick out of the name discksucker816 though. :) I look forward to more of your reviews! I enjoy constructive criticism.
Love,
Your Best Buddy Old Pal.