Wish you were Here

The cherry swilleved around the glass, rotating on it's toothpick stem. He took a careful, considerate sip, revelling in the bitterness but wincing as it went down.

'Just another goddamn perfect day in paradise.'

The warm, friendly beach of Costa del Sol was one of the most saught after vacation spots on the entire planet; it's neverending summer and cloudless skies making for gorgeous tans and calmed spirits. Ever since joining up with AVALANCHE, he'd known he wanted to go there when everything was over, to sink his toes in the sand and forget about the anger.

Well, here he was. His team had saved the world, gotten little-to-no thanks, and disbanded. Apparently, the people didn't need terrorist groups when there wasn't any impending doom. Go figure.

He took another sip of his drink, looking out on the ocean blanketed by a blinding sunset. He might have thought it beautiful, if his mind hadn't been wandering somewhere else. Had he been paying attention, he would have felt the cool breeze across his face, and he would have tasted the underlying sweetness behind the bitterness of his drink. But, he wasn't.

He was thinking of black hair that was soft as down, gleaming red eyes filled to the brim with emptiness. He was thinking of a thin nose and dark lips that rarely curved into a smile, pale skin and hollow cheekbones. He was thinking of whispered words and hidden touches that he could still feel on his skin.

He was thinking of that last look he'd been given, that seemed to say goodbye before either of them could've known Vincent would be leaving. Sometimes he wondered though, if somehow the silent gunman hadn't known, deep in his heart, that the Final Battle would decide more than just the fate of the world.

His fingers tightened around the glass. While his mind might refuse to believe that Vincent had known, his heart told him otherwise. That was just how he was. He'd never, in all the time Cid had known him, believed that he deserved the life he'd had, not after everything he'd done. Cid had whispered it, night after night, over and over again, that he loved him, that he needed him, that without him he'd be nothing. Vincent had always thought of them as nothing more than words.

Did saying something repeatedly make it mean less to those around you?

He wondered about that too, sometimes, on evenings like this.

Maybe, if he'd never said it at all, just maybe, Vincent would have believed him.

Frowning down at his empty martini glass, he realized that he'd mindlessly finished it off.

'The weather's nice, in paradise. It's summertime all year.'

----------

"I want you to stay here, Cid. Keep the Highwind running and ready. I have a feeling we'll be needing to leave quickly when this is over."

"Maybe I'll just leave you guys here, let you haul your sorry asses home yourselves." Cid smiled scathingly around his cigarette.

"It wasn't my choice for you not to come. We need you here. Without you, we can't pilot this ship. Period. So you're staying." Cloud adjusted his shoulder sheath, his buster sword making small noises, an unconscious attempt to break through the painful silence.

"Y'all better still be alive when you come back. You know how much I hate blood getting all over my fucking ship. It gets in the woodwork and then that shit's just impossible to clean out." Nanaki's whiskers pulled back in a knowing grin, his tail brushing gently over the ship's deck.

"Don't worry, Highwind. We'll try not to bleed all over your ship."

Cid reached down, tugging gently on one of the soft red ears, and crouched until he was level with Nanaki.


"Seriously. Be careful. This won't be no goddamn cakewalk, Red."

"Sure thing, Captain."

Cid stood back up, looking out at the assembled group. Cloud and Barret looked impatient, probably just about pissing themselves to get started. Tifa looked nervous, not noticing the way Yuffie was eying her materia, and Vincent looked...well...bored. He was leaning against the door, eyes closed, arms crossed in front of him, like he couldn't care less. That was just how Vincent was.

Looking over the railing, you could see the Northern Crater directly below them, ominously waiting while the Highwind's propellers blocked out any other sounds. It was cold on the deck, the brisk winter wind chilled their skin, with little flecks of snowing flying up to hit their exposed faces every now and again.

"My baby don't fly with ice on her fans, ladies. If the propellers ice up while y'all are in that goddamn crater, we ain't gonna be leavin' until this storm clears. If I see any ice startin' ta collect, I'm leavin' your aforementioned sorry asses behind."

Vincent's eyes opened slightly, casting a glance at the rambling captain. Their eyes met across the room, an intangible feeling running along the gaze. It went unnoticed by the others, but that didn't make it any less real.

"We shall hurry."

-----------

Cid ran back and forth along the deck, breath coming out in thick puffs of white, hands shivering from the mounting cold.

"Shit! They're freezing bad, damnit. Get the fuck over here, someone, I need help!"

Climbing the slippery iron ladder that led to the upper deck, shipmate in tow, Cid began to hack at the ice forming on the propellers angrily, as the storm raged around them.

"Who...the...hell...would have thought...it would start goddamn fucking sleeting...on the one day...we need it to be clear!" He was panting heavily, the exertion making him sweat, the wind instantly freezing it onto his skin.

"Goddamn it, it's not going to work! Get back down, tell everyone we're preparing for take-off. If they're not back in five fucking minutes, we'll be left with no other option." He pushed roughly at the crewmember, urging him to move before following him quickly.

He ran back into the ship, opening the cargo hold door before it, too, got stuck, and hurried to the main steering room, plopping down unceremoniously into the Captain's Chair. He fiddled with the controls with the mindless ease of someone who was born to be at the wheel, flipping the ignition switch and smiling when his ship begin to purr.

"Come on baby, come on, work for me." With shaky hands, he lit a cigarette, shoving it roughly into his mouth. The engine groaned and sputtered, and the propellers clicked, trying to break through the layers of ice binding them to the other metal. One by one, you could hear them begin to move freely, breaking off any remaining chunks of ice.

"Good girl, stay with me, stay with me baby..." When he was sure the engine was running smoothly, he hurried back outside, grabbing a rope from one of the crewmembers keeping the airship grounded, putting all his weight into holding it down.

He looked towards the edge of the crater, where the team would emerge. Puffing idly on his cigarette, he looked at his watch. He gave them two more minutes. After that, he'd leave. Without Cloud, without Nanaki, without Tifa, Yuffie, Barret.

Without Vincent.

He wouldn't have a choice.

Later, he would realize that he'd never been happier to see Cloud's ridiculous haircut than when it appeared over the crater rim.

-----------

"It's about time your spiky ass showed up, Cloud. I was beginning to worry." He grinned at them, trying to rub warmth back into his hands as he entered the cockpit. His smile faltered, however, when he realized that one of their party wasn't present. His eyebrow raised slightly in question.

"Where's Vincent?"

"He's not coming." Cloud's toneless voice was a gunshot in the silent room as the blood rushed out of Cid's face.

"He didn't make it, Cid," Nanaki said, walking over to him and putting a paw on his arm, "he's...Vincent, he...he's dead. I'm sorry."

Slowly, he made his way over to his chair, sitting down on it carefully.

"Well, if that's how it is, that's how it is. No use bitchin' about it."

He turned around, pressing some of the navigational buttons on the control console, not wanting them to see the tears welling in his eyes. He kept his voice steady, although the hands gripping the chair arms were white.

"We'll head to Wutai first, drop Yuffie off at home. It'll take a couple days. Y'all go to bed, I'm sure you're fuckin' tired, but I want to hear about everything in the morning, alrigh'?" A chorus of agreements came from the assembled group, and the sound of footsteps was deafening to his ears as they left. Only once he was sure they were gone did he collapse in upon himself, covering his mouth with his hands.

"Oh my god, Vincent, what have you done?"

The tears started spilling out of his eyes, his cigarette, forgotten, on the floor. Great, choking sobs burst from his mouth, and his shoulders shook with the immense force of it all.

"He...can't be gone... goddamn it, Vin, you... can't be gone!" His fist slammed into the console, jarring more angry tears from his eyes. He wasn't surprised when Nanaki came up to him, sitting down silently next to the chair.

"Highwind, no one here would judge you, or him. If they were to find out what was going on between you and Vincent, they wouldn't judge you. They'd let you mourn him. You don't have to hide this."

"He...Vincent...didn't want them to know. So, they won't know. It's...as simple as that." His voice wasn't strong anymore; it cracked heavily as the tears continued coursing down his cheeks. "Tell me, Red...tell me what happened."


"Sephiroth was...more powerful that any of us realized, I think. We were fine in the beginning, but once we started running out of supplies, well, we knew we were in trouble. Cloud and I were low on health, we'd have only been able to take a couple more hits each, and Vincent was little better off. He looked at Cloud, nodding a little. And Cloud just looked right back at him, like they'd planned it all before, somehow. The next thing I knew, Cloud was telling me to run and Vincent was calling up Galian Beast. I knew that neither Cloud nor I would survive any type of of backlash from that, so we ran. You know Vincent's transformations only last a few minutes, so we waited for twenty. Then Cloud said we were leaving. At that point, we knew Vincent wouldn't have been able to survive the release of Galian Beast. So, we came back. That's how it happened. I'm sorry I couldn't help him more, Cid."

Cid's fingers slid though his hair, dislodging his flight goggles from his forehead.

"That bastard. He knew. He planned this all along. He knew what was going to happen to him. That fuckin' bastard knew."

His last words were punctuated by sobs, shudders once again wracking his frame.

"You can't be sure of that-" Nanaki started, but Cid held up a hand, stopping him.

"The hell I can't, you know Vincent! This is just the fuckin' type of shit he'd pull, you know that! I'd bet my baby and last pack of cigs that him an' Cloud had a nice cozy chat yesterday, discussing the most beneficial ways to get rid of Vin! You know they did, Nanaki, you know they did... How else would Cloud've known? Goddamn it...Vin... what the hell were you thinkin'?"

Gently placing his head on Cid's lap in comfort, Nanaki spoke again.

"You know exactly what he was thinking, Cid."

"I know, Red... that's gotta be why my heart hurts so bad. Right here."

He touched his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks as his other hand stroked one of Nanaki's soft, red ears.

----------

So, you could say that Cid was doing what he'd been wanting to do all along. He was sitting on the beautiful beaches of Costa del Sol, feet in the sand, hard liquor in his hand, and everything was finally over.

However, once he'd met Vincent, his dreams for after the war had begun to change. He no longer though of warm water washing over his toes as the ultimate in satisfaction, but of a second warmth in his bed back in Rocket Town, wrapping his arms around the smooth chest of his lover, doing absolutely nothing while being perfectly content.

It had seemed so perfect to him, but Vincent had died in the final fight.

And Cid was left sinking his toes in the warm sand of Costa del Sol.

The shrill ringing of a PHS knocked him out of his thoughts, gaining him a few annoyed glares from the quiet couples walking hand in hand. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the little device, consulting the screen before flipping it open with a small frown.

"What, Spikey, haven't got nothin' better ta do than interrupt my goddamned vacation?"

"I bought a plane, Cid!" He moved the phone away from his ear, wincing a little at the happy voice that was, most definitely, not Cloud.

"Tifa, this is Cloud's phone."

"Oh, I know, I know. But, he left it on the bar and I was too lazy to go find my own! I'm so excited, Cid, you'll just love it when you see it! It was such a reasonable price and I knew you'd help me fix it up a bit so I pounced. Can you come take a look at it?"

"Whoa there Teef, what the fuck are you goin' on about?"

"The ship I bought, Cid!" She gave an exasperated sigh before continuing. "It reminds me of that little plane you used to have...what'd you call it? Oh yeah, the Tiny Bronco! It's just so cute and I know Cloud likes it even though he's acting angry that I bought it. You know him, always saying that I don't have enough money to be spending it on frivolous things, but I couldn't help myself..."

"Teef."

"I'll need you to show me how to fly it too, because you know I have no idea..."

"Tifa."

"I think something's missing in the engine...everytime I turn it on, this cloud of black smoke comes out of the exhaust pipe! But, I'm sure you can fix that, right?"

"Tifa!"


"What, Cid? You don't have to yell, I can hear you perfectly fine, you know!"

"I'm on a fuckin' well-deserved vacation. I'm not ending it just to look at your goddamn plane." He pulled out a cigarette, placing it in his mouth before pulling out a match and lighting the end of it.

"Please, Cid? I'll give you a free room for however long it takes you to fix it! You can have access to the bar! Cloud wants to see you..."

"Don't lie ta me, Teef, it breaks my heart. Cloud's had 'nough of my ass to last him a lifetime. Can't an old man have his peace?"

"Oh Cid, you aren't hardly any older than we are. Please come? We miss you..."

"Fine. But, I'm only goin' ta stay for a day or two. Just long enough ta fix your goddamned ship. Then I'll be outta your hair, the both of ya."

"Where else do you have that you can go, Cid? Back to Rocket Town to your empty house?"

"I dunno. I was thinkin' of wanderin' back ta Nibelheim."

"You know there's nothing left there."

"I know. I'll see ya in a few hours, Teef."

He clicked off his PHS, replacing it in his pocket, before standing up and collecting his things, feeling a small ache in his heart at leaving behind his pretend happiness.

'There's some folks we know, they say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"'

----------

A/N: So, there's chapter one! Hope y'all like! And the song is called "wish you were here" by mark wills, and after this it's pretty much not going to have anything to do with the fic.

This is going to be a pretty much completely non-canon fic, with little canon-y bits in it. For instance, I know that's not how the battle with Sephiroth goes, and I know you find Cid after you go to Nibelheim, so things like that are, obviously, different.