Vulnerable

The anticipation was what always happened first. It was as if an electric current was running through my veins. It felt like this every time. Didn't matter how many years passed. The day I left for Mystic Falls Elena was nowhere in sight. There was a lingering presence of her perfume but aside from that nothing. She never said bye and I didn't expect her to when I left for this particular month retreat.

I know that I hurt her deeply by doing this but I couldn't help it. From the first moment I saw Bonnie…I knew…I knew something was different about her but at that moment I was infatuated with Elena. Just looked so much like Katherine that I couldn't help myself. Realizing Elena was nothing like Katherine; better in more ways than one than Katherine, I fell in love with her. Buried the initial curiosity that I had for Bonnie and focused all my attention to my darling Elena.

Then the night that Emily took Bonnie's body over and she needed my blood. Something flickered. I still didn't quite understand what it was until after her grandmother's death. The rain. The cabin. The bond that was formed. I had never felt anything like it before. The electricity. She was in my blood then. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Damon. That piece of shit Damon had to have her. I couldn't believe it when she proclaimed that she was his. Just thinking about it made me clench my fist. I saw it in her eyes that she loved him like Elena loved me. She said we had to stop seeing each other. It wasn't fair to our significant others. I shouted back they were doing the same thing. She begged me to let her go so I did. My heart was broken. He had won again. I tried to play the game as Damon did but I realized he wasn't playing by his own rules. I blacked out and did something that I would regret for the rest of my immortal life.

I knew it had been my fault that she opened up to him. Rejection is a double edge sword and no one wins from it. They seemed at peace together. Both walked lighter on their feet and I hadn't seen Damon that happy with Katherine or Elena. With Elena it was more shame.

The affair started 2 years after the girls had graduated from high school. When everything was out in the open. Elena knew everything and I knew everything about what Elena had been up to. It was a chance meeting.

I had a certain nostalgia when it came to my family's manor. The grounds keeper said a couple of renovations needed to be done. I decided to look over the renovation. Elena didn't want to go. She had already planned a trip to Paris with a few friends.

It was raining when I arrived in Mystic Falls, just after dark. A two door red BMW was parked in the driveway of the Manor when I pulled up. I smelled her before I saw her. I placed my bag gently on the floor as I walked up to her.

She was sitting in front of the fire cradling her knees to her chest. Her powder blue slip was soaked with the rain making it nearly transparent. She didn't move when I sat next to her careful not to touch her. I wanted to say something. Anything.

I hadn't seen her since Elena and my wedding. She was the sister-in-law then, the way Elena glowed from having her former best friend there was touching and I didn't want to mess that up. Damon had even been on his best behavior. We were brothers after all. Forgive and forget. He pulled me into a hug. We hadn't hugged since before we turned. "We both got the woman we love." He said with a genuine smile. He was right. I never stopped loving Elena but it was different than what I felt for Bonnie.

Her wet hair spreading over my shoulder as her head rested. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly as to not disturb the tranquility of the silence.

I entwined my hand into hers. "To look in on you."

"Damon isn't here." She said.

Selfish bastard, I thought to myself.

As if she heard my thoughts she said "he isn't to blame. I wanted to come alone. He hates leaving me alone." She said with a thoughtful smile.

I kept my eyes towards the fire; I could feel the jealousy coming up again. Like tidewater. "Would you like me to leave?" I asked.

"No, it's your house Stefan. I'm the guest." She finally looked at me. Her fingertips stroked my cheek "You haven't fed. There's some blood in the fridge." She said with smile.

Before I could say anything else she was up. I was right on her heels. "Bonnie wait!"

She turned around leaning on the staircase, waiting for me to speak.

I thought about what I would say a thousand times… "We should talk about what happened. We haven't talked since that day."

She put her arms around my neck and I could feel something soothing wash over me. "Don't apologize. I have a good life and so do you." I could feel her grip loosen from around my neck I completely lost it.

I remembered how she felt under me. How she tasted. She didn't put up a fight as I thought she would when I kissed her. She didn't have the fight in her eyes. Her response was something I missed. It was powerful, lethal, exciting and calming all at the same time.

We didn't make it upstairs. I ripped that pretty slip to shreds as she forced my own clothes off my body. I fucked her hard on the wooden floor of the hallway. The noises like a steady drum. I could feel myself giving into the other side of me. The side that I tried to keep under control. Her skin tasted what I remembered honey to taste like with as I dove deeper inside of her. I felt her pull me down and her teeth bite into my flesh. A moan escaped my lips as I pushed her head further onto my collarbone.

We made love until the late morning, falling asleep naked on the cool floor. Limbs tangled together. It felt natural.

As I walked to Bonnie's grandmother gravesite I thought about that first night. A smile crossed my lips as I saw her standing with the umbrella above her. I took the umbrella out of her hands and her arms folded around my waist. We didn't speak. We hardly did at the grave.

I took Bonnie's weak moment. Her moment of vulnerability I'll admit. I wanted her to feel it again.