It was a normal day. Really. Nothing was happening. Lea woke up and admired the ring on her finger, then cuddled with her cat Sheila for a few minutes before finally getting up and ready to go to work. Once at work she recited her words perfectly for twelve hours, then went home. She made herself a cup of coffee because it was her favorite late night drink, and even though it was getting pretty late, she kicked up her feet and turned on the TV for the first time in a week.

That's when her day was interrupted. That's when suddenly it became a not so normal day and a chaotic mess instead, all because the doorbell rang. That's always what he brought with him, though – a mess. A mess that the two of them clearly had no idea how to clean up nor had they learned from it, because in the long run, one of them always came back.

Lea groaned, but got up anyway and headed to the door. She was tired and cranky and honestly whoever had the nerve to ring her doorbell at eleven o'clock at night was pretty damn gutsy, because she couldn't make any promises that she wouldn't kill them. But when she opened her door, she froze at the figure standing on her porch.

"You're engaged," He breathed.

Lea stared at him shocked. His chocolate brown eyes, his messy hair, his stupid plaid button up; it was all there. He was all there, standing in the dim light of her front porch.

Finally, Lea comprehend what Cory had said, curtly nodding. "I am."

"To him?"

Lea looked down, nodding again. Every memory of her first love crossed through her mind. His soft lips, the tenderness when he kissed her, the way she poured her soul out to him... The man in front of her wasn't that boy anymore and she found that incredibly disheartening, because man, did she love that boy.

She wasn't trying to be rude with her short responses; she just didn't know what to do. His visit was – as always – completely unexpected and a teensy bit inappropriate, and the tension was there. Lea wanted to do so many things all at the same time. So, due to her speechlessness, she simply nodded once again, confirming his question, "To Mark,"

Cory hesitated, and she knew he was trying to keep his comment and hurt inside of him so she didn't have to see it, but as expected, it eventually came out.

"What about me?"

Lea closed her eyes.

"What about me, Cory?" she asked, desperation lacing through the question.

He stared at her and neither of them were sure what to say. She couldn't look at him, because if she did she knew she'd get tears in her eyes. And If she got tears in her eyes she'd cry again. She couldn't cry again, not over him. She promised herself she would never cry over him again.

"I always thought it'd be you and me forever."

Lea opened her mouth, and then closed it again. There was so much to say. The two of them had so many things that they could talk about, so many ways that they could easily fall in love again.

"I have to go," she whispered.

His hand stopped her from slamming the door in his face. "You loved me once...didn't you?"

The doubt was in his eyes. He had trouble believing the connection the two of them once had. Lea's heart fell at the pure innocence in his eyes, the disbelief that was there. It was so long ago that now it seemed like a dream. But it wasn't a dream, because if it were, she wouldn't feel so horrible every day of her life.

"I loved you more than anything," she confirmed.

"Then why?" he begged. It's the question he'd wondered for quite awhile now. "Why not me?"

Lea squeezed her eyes shut, as she tried to block him out. She didn't want to have another flashback – all she kept having lately was flashbacks of how perfect things used to be. She was tricking herself. It wasn't all roses and sunshine with Cory, it was dirty weeds and rainclouds too. In fact, it was rarely ever a good day. So why did they look so much better now?

"I'll always love you more, but I'm better without you."

His eyes fell. After all these years, one of them had finally said the truth. Those are the words that both of them had needed to hear for quite some time now. His eyes looked down and caught the ring on her finger and for a moment Lea swore there were tears in his eyes.

"So, this is it, then?" he asked.

Suddenly Lea couldn't face him. She couldn't meet his eyes because she knew that if she did she'd take him back in an instant, and she couldn't. She loved it when he was here, but she knew she was better when he was gone. And that fact killed her more than anything, because the way she loved him... No one could understand.

"You're invited, if you want to come," she tried to stay strong.

Cory shook his head. "We both know that's not a wedding I'd go to."

She could accept that. In all honesty, she'd never be able to go to his wedding either. If she did she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself. She would make a scene again and his mother would hate her even more. They all must hate her. The family that was once her second family was now the family that she was sure bashes her at the dinner table.

"I'm sorry," she told him honestly.

"You love him," he shrugged "I hope he makes you happy, Lea."

"I'm not apologizing for the wedding, because I know that needs to happen," she murmured, softly. "Everything I did... I'm sorry."

He nodded. "You're finally happy. Don't apologize for that."

Cory turned away to leave, but before he could Lea called out to him again. He turned around and she hesitated, but just when he was about to walk away forever she found the right words.

"I really wish it could have been you."

He quickly faced the ground and Lea knew she was making him show his emotions and she knew just how much he hated that. "Me too."

Then, he turned around and walked to his car, fiddling with his phone for a moment before pulling out of her driveway for the last time. Lea heard her phone beep from the kitchen and went get it, tears finally falling when she read the message.

I would have picked you. Always has been you, always will be. I hope he makes you happy, Lea. I really, really do.

Out of all the sad messages he'd ever sent her, this one hit the hardest by far. And as she was alone, she did what she promised herself the day she got engaged she would never do again. She fell to the ground right there, curled up in a ball, and broke down because this was the only way she could handle it.

She loved it when he was here. She was just better when he was gone.

And that fact killed her. It killed her softly, and killed her slowly, but no doubt, it killed her. Because no matter what, she'd always love him just a little bit more.