A/N: This is totally AU so for once no spoilers for anything. Just a crazy little idea that popped into my head, while listening to commercials on the radio.

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable from the Mentalist.

"What are you doing?" A woman approached, her golden ponytail bobbed from side to side as she walked closer.

"Teaching our son how to earn money." The man, a 30 something year old guy with a rough looking face answered her. He was standing at the side of the road, their son next to him, both looking intently down the street towards the horizon.

Texas was hot this time of year and she didn't want them to stand out in the open sun for too long at a time. There was a definite possibility of heatstroke. Also she had recognized the look in his eyes when they'd left earlier, it was a look that meant he was up to no good. She loved him even with his flaws, but she would prefer that they didn't all rub of unto their son. He was such a good and sweet child but he was also at a very impressionable age. Which was why there was an edge to her tone when she said: "You mean you're teaching him how to cheat people."

"Hey, it's the way the world works. The ones with all the cash, has to use it somehow."

"I'm not sure this is how they imagined spending them."

"Babe, it's our way of life. It's the Robin Hood balance of things."

His choice of words made her cock an eyebrow. "So steal from the rich annddd..."

"…and give to the poor." He continued her sentence and pointed at himself.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I don't think that's how it's supposed to work. Besides he's only 4."

"The kid needs to learn and the earlier the better. An honest way of living never got anybody anywhere. How do you think the rich got their money? They're just like us, crooks and bandits with dark minds and sharp tongues but with nicer clothes. If he wants something in this world, this is the only way to get it."

She lifted the boy up, sat down on the curb and put him on her lap. His wild blonde curls reflected the midday sun. "So what exactly are you doing?" She asked her husband again as she let her fingers slide through her son's hair trying to tame his curls.

He withdrew his eyes from the road and looked at her. "Okay, see this card." He held up what looked like a credit card.

"Yes." She said, a confused look on her face.

"And do you see the car wash down there?" He pointed to the opposite end of the road.

"Mm hmm." She nodded.

"With this card every sixth wash is free. So all I have to do is convince six people to give me money to take their car to the carwash and I will only have to pay for 5 so the sixth person's cash goes directly into my pocket. Clever right?"

"Sure, but how will you convince people? I mean what stops them from going down to the carwash themselves and getting their own card? What's in it for them?"

"Ahh, you see." He said holding up both of his index fingers in front of her as if telling her to wait for his genius idea to be revealed. "It's a little town. The gas station and carwash is not part of a big chain corporation, it's locally owned and managed. The owner doesn't flaunt with this offer, with his limited income it's bad for business in the long run. I only learned about it by overhearing some of the locals at the bar last night."

She looked at him accusingly. His drinking was one of the flaws that she didn't much approve of. He didn't seem to notice though and continued on undeterred.

"I just need to find people from out of town, offer to brush a little off the top of the too expensive prize - these small towns are always selling at higher prizes knowing people who need something here and now, like gas or diapers, don't have any other options. Unless they want to walk miles for gas when their car stalls or sit in a car with a screaming and smelling baby until the next town happens to pop up - people stalk up on supplies whenever they reach a town like this."

"Carwashes aren't exactly a necessity."

"Maybe not, but then again if you have a fancy car and you're driving around in the dust and the rain then suddenly your car doesn't look all that fancy. Showing off your pricey possessions doesn't work as well when they're covered in mud and bugs. A big shiny car turns heads, and earns the owner the respect he craves."

"Is that your sales pitch?" She asked, sounding sceptical.

"What do you think? Will it work?"

"I'm not sure. Have you had any takers yet?"

"No," He admitted but wasn't about to admit total defeat. "But it's early. Travellers don't settle until later in the day. No need for a carwash when they're hitting the road again right after their stop. No, our best options are to find someone that needs to stay overnight, maybe we'll have better luck at the motel."

She wasn't about to talk him out of it, when she already knew it would be fruitless. No matter how stupid of an idea it was, he would pursue it until he was satisfied with the result. She swore he was a dog with a bone sometimes. If he didn't find six people willing to invest in his venture he was going to lose money. "Fine." She said resignedly. "But there's no we. If you're doing this it's without me and without our son."

He pouted adorably, aiming to win her over. "But you have such great powers of persuasion."He tried, but she didn't waver.

"You say that, but still I find you doing stuff daily that I specifically asked you not to." There was a disapproving look in her eyes.

"I'm immune to your charms." He simply stated and smiled at her. "But all these other suckers seem to devour every word that you say whole."

"I'm not doing it. End of discussion. This is your scheme you carry it out on your own."

"At least let me take Patrick. He needs to see how to earn a living."

"I said no! We're going back to the trailer now, it's time for his nap and I promised Kitty to help her with Daisy today."

He sulked, getting dumped for an elephant was not his finest moment, but he wasn't about to argue. "I'll be home late." He said and took off on foot, heading towards the little town's only motel.

She put Patrick down and stood up, while she watched her husband go. She liked the freedom of the carney life, loved her husband for some reason and adored their child, but she'd never really been happy with cheating people out of their money. Her husband seemed to have no scruples about it though. She just hoped she would be able to give Patrick some of her compassion, and lead him down a better path than his father.

A/N: Writing Jane's father is hard, I purposely made him a bit nicer than I think he is, my theory is that he became that hard man, that we saw, when his wife left or died or got trampled by an elephant or whatever happened to her.

Wrote this a little while ago, before the series finale aired … which I feel both happy and sad about. Sad that it's all over but happy that it was so great.