Author's Note: Okay, so this is for the lovely Dreamer's Secrets. She asked me a while ago to write her a No. 6 little drabble. So, I should probably take this chance to tell her and all you other readers some things:
I have not watched No. 6 in years. YEARS. So, I remember the basics and enough to write this - the reason I am telling you all this is because I know that I screwed some things up. So, be nice - tell me if you want to, or keep silent and just let me suffer in my own ignorance. XD
Anyway, I really hope that the lovely Dreamer's Secrets likes this. I hope I didn't screw it up too badly. ^_^"
It was over and Shion could finally rest – he could stop carrying around the burdens of the whole world. The weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He could watch the world from a distance, now, and would not have to get tangled up in any more of its complicated webs. All of this should have been cause for celebration. And yet, Shion just felt like mourning.
He'd lost Nezumi during all of this – they had parted ways and he wasn't sure he would ever see the Rat again.
He had tried to tell himself that he did not care; that he had moved on in the world. He tried to tell himself that all the pain would go away all by itself. He tried to tell himself that he would not have to do anything to get the happiness he so deserved. The happiness that he had fought for. He'd saved No. 6 and had gotten nothing to show for it. He'd lost contact with the only real thing he'd cared about.
"Shion," A soft voice called him out of his trance and pulled him back to reality. He glanced around in a disoriented way before his eyes finally focused on Safu. She was watching him with her arms crossed over her chest and a very displease look on her face. Shion smiled sheepishly as he ducked away from her attempted hit.
"You were thinking about him again, weren't you?" She sat next to him with eyes that knew a little bit too much. She'd been there and had been a part of all that had happened and yet she acted as if nothing had changed. She went on with her life when Shion was still trapped in the past.
"Why does it matter?" Shion sighed the words and looked away, back to the window that showed him his small corner of the world. His small, seemingly unaffected corner that held no love for him. No past and no future.
"Because you're moping –" Safu reached up and ruffled his white hair, getting an annoyed huff out of him. He batted her hands away and opened the door to the balcony, quickly shutting it behind him.
"You don't know what I went through, Safu. You only know part of it and even then… you don't understand," He spoke through the glass before he turned his back to her and walked to the railing of the balcony. He heard her say something in return but he didn't listen – he only listened when he heard her footsteps begin to walk away. He placed his hands on the railing and almost immediately remembered the fateful night so many years ago. The night they had first met.
"What's your name?"
"Rat. Nezumi."
Shion felt the tears and anger, then, as fiercely as he had that day. He felt it well up inside him and suddenly he couldn't hold it back. A sob tore from his lungs as his knees gave way underneath him. He clung to the railing as he fell to the ground – holding it as though it could change all that had happened. He wanted his old life back – not this new one where he felt so trapped.
Nezumi had hardly left his small home since that day. A few were able to drag him out to help on one task or another, but he would always return before sunset. That time of day was painful for him – that was then they'd said goodbye.
One final goodbye; not even a final kiss.
Some days he would go out just to watch the world move around him. He would watch life move on and time twist around him as he stayed stuck in the past.
A part of his heart told him to move on and forget Shion; a larger part told him to never forget and keep fighting. Cherish the memories he had and stop thinking about making more. Stop hoping for a future with someone that he could never have.
"You're doing it again."
Nezumi looked up to see Dog-Keeper standing beside him. She sat down next to him, staring up at the clouds.
"Doing what?"
"Brooding over the clouds."
He didn't bother to argue, because he knew it was true. She'd told him once that 'his brooding was the reason it rained' - he was depressing the clouds and turning them grey. He hadn't said anything then, either. He'd nodded and acted like those words had meant something, but as soon as she was gone, he went back to brooding over everything he'd lost.
"Why do you care?" She elbowed him.
"You know why, idiot."
They didn't say anything for a while then – he thought she was letting the silence speak for her – and before they knew it, the sun was setting. Nezumi got to his feet, ready to retreat, when she grabbed him by the wrist. Their eyes met and his façade broke – if only for a second – and she saw the truly broken man that he was.
"Stay and watch it."
He watched her with hurt eyes and she watched him with sad eyes. He pulled his wrist free and took a step back, eyes flitting to the sky briefly. His heart skipped in his chest as he took another step back.
"No. I can't – not tonight."
Nezumi retreated inside before she could say anything more.
Shion stayed out on the balcony until the sun set and finally he couldn't take it anymore. He went back inside with a heavy heart and crushed dreams. He didn't bother to even acknowledge Safu as he pushed her out of his room and fell onto his bed. He shut his eyes and begged for silence, though even he knew that he was not begging for sleep.
Eventually it did find him and he welcomed the small release. He felt the stress slowly ebb away and, for once, was grateful. He felt that the darkness and silence were finally his friends.
Thunder awoke him from his bliss, however, and he awoke to lightning snapping into his room. He didn't have any reaction other than to stare at the ceiling in silence, recalling the last time he'd been in this room when it had rained. The first time he had seen Nezumi.
Without thinking, he got out of his bed and numbly made his way towards the balcony. His feet moved as if on their own and his mind was buzzing with the memories.
He stepped out into the rain and was almost immediately soaked through. He spread his arms and angled his head to the sky, surrendering himself to the night sky. He let the rain pelt down onto his skin and heard thunder rumbling in the distance. He felt the world moving around him and finally felt as though he could submit and stop fighting it. He felt as though he was finally ready to let his past consume him.
He let a scream tear from his lungs as he fell to his knees, sitting in the rain. He felt his shoulders shaking as he sobbed and his scream cut off.
He didn't know why he did it and he didn't care – he needed closure, he supposed, and he only knew one way to get it. He needed to see Nezumi again and tell him… everything he had not said before. But No. 6 was his home now and he couldn't leave –
"What is it with you and screaming to thunderstorms? You do know they can't hear you, right?"
Shion didn't listen to the voice, just offered an automated response. "Go away, Safu."
"I'm wounded that you would confuse me for her."
Everything froze and Shion found that he could barely breathe. He turned around in some sort of awkward crouching position as his eyes went wide with emotion. He stumbled to his feet and threw himself at Nezumi in a matter of seconds, not even bothering to think. Nezumi stumbled back under his weight, ending up against a wall as he held Shion tightly.
"You-You're here. What – how?" Shion held onto Nezumi as tight as he could, happy to feel that he was hugging back just as tightly. Nezumi buried his face into the crook of Shion's neck, inhaling the scent he'd missed so much.
"I missed you." Nezumi pulled away from the trembling boy and moved his hands up to cup Shion's face.
"You have no idea how much I missed you," Shion whispered, staring at Nezumi with bright eyes. He reached up and took Nezumi's hand in his own, pulling it down and intertwining their fingers. Shion smiled as Nezumi gently brought their lips together, kissing the man with all the passion he had been keeping trapped for days on end. They pulled away and Shion was almost certain that Nezumi smiled for the first time.
And with that one smile, he was addicted.
