Hi. My name is Anastasia Steele and this is the true story of how I met the love of my life. It all started out pretty innocuously; my journalist friend had an interview slated with Christian Grey, one of the most preeminent businessmen of the day. It had taken her months to get the interview and unfortunately contracting cholera had forced her to either try to reschedule or force some other poor schmuck to do the interview for her.

And that's why I found myself standing in the foyer to Mr. Grey's palatial office. Columns and sculptures decorated the alcove and a secretary dressed in what I assume was the latest fashion adorned the desk in the lobby.

"Excuse me, I'm here to see Mr. Grey," I squeaked out, mousily. "I'm here for the, uh, interview?"

The secretary stared me down for an uncomfortable few seconds before saying, "Mr. Grey is expecting you. Go on in."

Walking in to the office proper I expected to see lions sculpted from marble or maybe some stylistic representations of indecorously clad women, you know, rich people things. The reality was his office was curiously barren. Very austere. The only appeal to decoration was a framed picture on his desk of who I could only presume was Mr. Grey in a diving suit giving a thumbs up next to a shark.

"Greetings. I can only presume you are Anastasia."

I turned to face him and found he was staring directly into my eyes. I violently blushed.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Grey."

"Mr. Grey was my dad. Call me Christian."

"Christian. Yes, I'm Anastasia, but my friends call me Ana."

"Friends already, I see? You're very sure of yourself, Ana."

I blushed again, turning an unsettling shade of red. This man knew just the right words to fluster me.

"It's probably for the best if we just start with the interview," I said. "I'm sure you're a very busy man running Grey Enterprises and all that you do."

"I never consider any time spent with a beautiful woman a waste," Christian said as he stared into my eyes, my soul, my inner goddess. I blushed yet again. My skin was becoming uncomfortably warm from all the blushing. I didn't know how to respond to Christian's gesture of flattery. I'm sure he doesn't even know he's doing it anymore, mild flirting just being part of his world. I struggled to come up with a reply.

"Gosh, me, beautiful? Hahaha, I'm sure you say that to all the ladies."

"No," Christian says, broodingly. I blush again. I think blood is starting to seep out of my pores.

"Okay," I stammer, "Let's start with the interview. Everyone knows you as head of the Grey Corporation, but you're one of the more enigmatic billionaires, managing to stay out of the public light for the most part. Tell me something we don't know. What makes you tick, Mr. Grey- I'm sorry, Christian?"

Christian holds my gaze with his own. Without saying a word he stands up and takes off his suit jacket, carefully folding it and putting it aside. He rolls up his sleeves, one by one. I'm so mesmerized; every action he makes is purposeful and graceful; the power he holds clearly evident in his movements. I'm so enraptured I barely have time to object when he undoes his belt.

"What are you-" I begin, but his quiet, steady gaze quiets me to silence. His shirt comes off next. I'm impressed a busy man like Christian has enough time to keep himself this in shape. His pants come off in short order and before I know it I'm face to face with the first dick I've ever seen in my lifetime.

"I-", I begin, but Christian quiets me with a gesture.

"You want to know what makes me tick, Ana? I'll show you."

With those words he pulls a switch worked into his desk and the floor opens beneath me. I fall 10 feet down into freezing cold salt water. I barely have time to get my bearings and look up at Christian in horror when I feel something brush my leg.

"Sharks, Ana! I like sharks!" Christian shouts at me. He begins to masturbate viciously as I feel steel jaws bite into me and my life leeches out into the water.

"SHAAAAARKS," Christian shouts at my lifeless body.

FIN