x.x.x
Chapter One
.x.x.x.
Hello, and welcome to the Youtube Bachelor! After reviewing many try-out videos and laughing at the desperation that is the male side of youtube, we're pleased to announce that we've picked the perfect contestant. He's been through constant online ridicule, embraces a very distinct sense of humor, and has an odd obsession with leather. We welcome Daniel James Howell as the first ever Youtube Bachelor!
Before we can start this season of love, secrets, and laughs, it's only proper to introduce the hosts of our show—that's right, hosts as in plural gentlemen. We could actually afford two and they have just what we're looking for to run our show. We couldn't be happier to introduce Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla!
.
Behind the Scenes with Ian Hecox
Yeah, I'm kinda just here because I heard that we get to make fun of the contestants and mess around with 'em. Can I say that? Shit. Am I allowed to cuss? I'm taking that as a yes. So, yeah, hey guys. Pretty stoked to be hosting with Anthony. We've got some crazy stuff planned for the contestants, so be sure to stick around.
.
BTS with Anthony Padilla
Is the camera rolling? Okay, yeah heya there. I'm Anthony Padilla—not Padildo or Tortilla, got it? I was pretty honored to be invited to be part of the first Youtube Bachelor and all. We've got seven great people that we'll be meeting soon and I guess we've just got to see if Dan will find love in any of them.
.
With our hosts introduced and a great show planned ahead, we're ready to begin our first ever episode of the Youtube Bachelor.
.
7p.m
Dan stood rather nervously in the courtyard before the villa that he and the seven other contestants would be staying in for the next two days. The next destination was yet to be announced by Ian and Anthony, whom at the time were nowhere to be found.
His hands found comfort in the front pockets of his dress pants as he rocked back and forth on his heels. After finding out that he had actually won something in which he would get to go on luxurious trips and find the love of his life, he felt both great excitement and anxiety.
Dan knew the other contestants were fellow youtubers, but he wasn't sure which had been chosen. So as he waited for the limo to arrive with the first guest, all he could do was hope for the best.
.
BTS with Dan Howell
Okay so like, I admit, I was a bit nervous. I wasn't like 'oh my fucking god i'm going to actually bolt to the limo, kick the chauffeur out, and drive the fuck outta here'. It was more like a subtle, 'oh my god, Dan, why in the hell did you decide to do this.' Then I remembered I get to travel and drink fine champagne and tequila and get to be lavished with adoration. Oh, and yeah I guess I get to find love or some shit too.
.
The first limo rolled onto the cobblestone a couple of feet before Dan. He took his hands out of his front pockets and grasped them formally before himself, though he still rocked on his heels. He had chosen to go with a bow-tie as opposed to the tradition sleek, black tie and had his hair straightened to his usual fringe.
The limo door was opened by the chauffeur and the first contestant got out.
A man stood tall and slim in a black suit and light blue tie. Fine black hair was straightened similarly to Dan's and fell right above his blue eyes, accented nicely by his tie. His walk was awkward, shy, and a bit quirky as he approached Dan; all Dan could do was stare.
.
BTS with Dan Howell
*silence*
"Uh, you're supposed to tal-"
Give me a minute.
"Wh-"
*more silence*
.
"Phil," Dan greeted him warmly. Phil went for a handshake as Dan went for a hug and awkward chuckles emitted as Dan muttered "jesus fucking christ" under his breath. "I've, ha, I watch you all the time!- I, uh, oh my god, not like that. On youtube I watch you—your videos, I mean. Not all the time, like occasionally. When you upload I'll watch, not like I'm stalking your videos; that'd be weird—I'm not a stalker, I swear. Oh my god."
Phil laughed genuinely as his right hand held his left elbow; a stance only proving his shyness. "No, it's fine! I'm surprised that you watch my videos…I see you on my Tumblr dashboard sometimes so I decided to watch your videos. They're really funny! You like Buffy, too?"
Dan smiled and calmed down a bit. "Yeah, from watching your videos I know we have a lot in common," The two smiled at each other, only to shyly look away again. "Well, we should definitely continue this conversation once I'm done and we're all inside, okay?"
"Absolutely!" Phil grinned and walked to the front door of the villa. It was an elegant looking building with intricate design and many windows. Trees surrounded the courtyard, decorated with lit, golden paper lanterns. A small fountain flowed soothingly not too far from the door. Inside, all of the lights were on as well, creating a glowing atmosphere.
The limo that had brought Phil had left and Dan anxiously awaited his next possible potential husband. A couple of minutes passed and the next smoothly rolled up across from him.
Out of the limo walked a man with skin paler than Phil's, eyes darker than Dan had thought possible, and a smirk that made Dan a bit uneasy. The man's stroll towards him was a painful slow; it looked like he enjoyed every clack of his dress-shoe heel against the cobblestone and found amusement in the way that Dan was reacting to it all.
"Charlie," the man held out his thin, bony hand for Dan to shake.
"Dan," he replied and shook it gingerly. Charlie took tighter hold of his hand and pulled him a bit closer so his mouth was near his ear.
"I know your name, why else would I be here?" he smiled. "Just as I know everyone else who's here, but if I should know anyone, it should be you, right?"
"Yeah, I guess." Dan felt a bit embarrassed.
Charlie let go of his hand and replaced the previous smirk with a natural, easygoing grin. "In all honestly, Mr. Howell, I find myself a huge fan of your youtube content. Your sass never fails to intrigue me."
Dan tucked the corners of his lips into his mouth as he does when he's nervous. "I'm glad I can, um, do that for you, Charlie."
"Just as I'm glad to be here." He shot Dan another smile before strolling off towards the villa door.
The same process was repeated with the limos until a man with blonde hair styled into a quiff stepped out. He wore a white suit and metallic golden tie, his eyes a bright greenish-blue, and his stance stated that he was pretty confident.
"Well, hello there!" the man quickly made his way over to Dan to shake his hand. He was pretty animated and cool. "My name's Joey, pleasure to meet ya." Joey spoke in a fun and quirky way, his eyes seemed to speak as well.
"Nice to meet you too-"
"Wow, look at this place," Joey glanced around the outside of the villa; a soft southern accent suddenly was used. "It has cute little lights and everythaaang.."
"You're American?" Dan asked to make conversation.
"Yup," Joey switched back to talking normally, only to switch back. "Quite the flight, lemme tell ya, goodness-gracianniyus…well, I'm sure it'll be worth it, Dan." Joey flashed a perfect toothy grin as he walked to the entrance of the villa.
The next man to walk out of the limo was nothing less than interesting. "Oh my god, I'm shaking. Look at this place—am I on tv, holy shit am I on tv?" This contestant had light brown hair in a fringe a bit longer than Dan's. His eyes were a similar color to Joey's; he wore the usual black suit and green tie.
Dan did an awkward little wave as the man just stood outside of the door of limo. "Oh!" an expression spread over his face like he should have known. He started over to Dan and introduced himself. "I'm Shane. Okay i'm gonna let you in on a secret, I did not know this shit was gonna be so fancy and I did not pack accordingly like, ohh girl," he swept his bangs to the side with his hand. "Are pug shirts acceptable?" He was similar to Joey in the way he talked; his accent more-or-less seemed to change every other sentence. Then he talked like exasperated ghetto woman.
Dan chuckled. "Yes, pug shirts are fine. I actually like pugs quite a lot-"
Shane gave him a look like he'd found the love of his life. "C'mere, gurl," He pulled Dan into his arms and pat at his head. "You are beautiful, don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise." Shane fake-sniffled.
"All I had said was that I would be fine with your pug shirt-"
"But that proves that you would love me no matter what, ohh this is gettin' real emotinal," he wiped at his fake tears. "Hey, isn't Joey Graceffa supposed to be here?"
"Joey? He's inside." he replied.
Shake looked at Dan, then stared to the front door very slowly, then quick back to Dan, then at the door slowly again. "You know, I feel like we have this connection, Devin-"
"Dan."
"-and I feel like if I went to leave inside, our connection would keep us together. Stay strong without me." He started for the door, turning around every other step to motion between Dan and himself to show their 'connection.'
The next limo rolled up with music blaring from the inside. The bass was so loud that Dan could see the windows literally pulsating. The chauffeur got out and sighed as he opened the door for two men that jumped out with wine glasses filled with some bright beverage.
"Yoooo," the one with edgy red hair made some weird sign with his free hand that wasn't holding the glass. The other had black hair that seemed to defy gravity as it was styled like he was a character out of Final Fantasy or World of Warcraft or something. They both wore sunglasses. "well fuck me in the butthole, look at this place, Des."
"Hella," the other one nodded as he looked around. "Like this is fuckin' cooler than going rollerblading with penguins—imagine how fucking cute that shit would be though. Like woah look at me rollerblading—nah motherfucker get the fuck outta my way i'm a penguin. Haha!"
Dan looked to the side awkwardly, then back at them.
"Dude, dude, dude what if the penguin had sunglasses, though."
"I guess you could say that penguin would be….pretty chill." The two erupted in laughter and jumped around.
"Uh-" Dan tried to speak up but the two kept jumping around and laughing. The chauffeur had to go and tap the one with the red hair on the shoulder and point at Dan.
"The fuck do you want, Pablo! We're busy-" The two looked over to Dan and in unison laughed.
"Yeah, um, hi…" Dan tried not to laugh as the two started towards him.
"Nathan, but call me Nate," the one with the red hair said.
"Destery, but just call me the winner of this whole competition." he nodded, his sunglasses only adding to his comment.
"Yoooo," Nate and Destery did this complicated handshake. "That was hella sick, bro."
Dan sighed. "Or I could just call you the illiterate loser that I sent back into the limo on the first day," Just because it's the Youtube Bachelor, doesn't mean Dan is any less of a sass master. "Woah, that was hella sick, bro." he imitated them in a deep voice and highfived himself.
Destery and Nate exchanged glances and smiled. "We like you." They nodded like they had gained some respect for Dan, and left towards the villa.
The last contestant that arrived was, well, interesting to say the least. Out of the last limo was an Indian man, no taller than 5'4. He shuffled over to Dan, whom towered over him, and stood there in a black suit and a tie with a giraffe pattern.
"no gud at english, but i manesh"
Dan held back his laugh. "Man-ish? Just because you're short doesn't mean you're any less of a man-"
"no no name is manesh"
"Oh…well that's a lovely name, Manesh. Your tie is, erm, well I haven't seen one like it all night."
.
BTS with Manesh
"Why did you choose to wear a giraffe tie for your first impression with Dan?"
i just rly like giraffes
.
"thank" Manesh then turned and started for the villa. Dan looked around and mouthed 'what the fuck?'
Just then Ian and Anthony walked out with a red rose. "Daniel," Anthony greeted as Ian did the same. "How would you say first impressions went?"
"Ha, well I think the array of characters you two chose are all different and interesting to say the least."
Ian and Anthony slyly highfived. "So, who do you think it went the best with?" Ian asked, twirling the rose around.
Dan thought a minute. "Well, I think the most civilized talk I had with anyone had to have been Phil, so I'm going to say him."
"Cool, great. Well, here's how things work. Contestants don't get voted off every week; they'll all be here until the end. Though, each week you'll give a rose to one of them. This will give them an advantage.
"Advantage how?" Dan raised a brow.
"Well," Anthony started, "The person who received a rose the previous week will choose things like who stays home when you all go on group dates and things like that. This will also cause a bit of drama for all of the men in the house which will surely be interesting."
Dan shrugged. "Seems simple enough."
"So, first rose goes to Phil Lester. Tune in next week where we'll get to know a bit more about our contestants and see how they all interact with one another."
"Will they get along? Will all hell break loose? Who will Dan choose in the end? This has been Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla, see you next week on the Youtube Bachelor."
.x.x.x.
Oh my god why am I writing this. Even though, it's great to write crack fics again, I've missed writing fanfiction purely for this reason. Like Ian and Anthony said, make sure to stick around to see all the drama that comes with wanting to win Dan's heart. Lemme know what you think, if you want. You can also keep track of this story on my blog; link on my profile.
Love Always,
ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl