Title: Illusions
Author: StormBrisingr
Warnings/Notes: Unbeta'd. Character Death.
Summary: It was all a lie. A fake. Unreal.
Disclaimer: Me, myself and I own nothing.
A/N: -Chan, -san, -kun = title suffix's. Most of the quotes are taken from mangareader's Negima manga. A couple of them I made up myself though.
"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. Dreams to dreams. Illusion to illusion. And eternal rest to all." – Dynamis
The journey back to Japan in the plane was like a foggy dream. They had gotten out of the plane and Negi had immediately been crushed by a joyful mob of students. Chamo had been quite glad to be on Negi when that happened. Despite the fact that they were drawing quite a few stares from the people in the airport, the group pulled itself into a loud, boisterous group hug. The entire Ala Alba laughed the loudest of them all and basked in the enjoyment of being back in the presence of their friends. Their family.
And when they arrived back at Mahora, they couldn't help but walk around. It seemed so long since they had been at school. It felt like they had been gone years even, instead of only months. There, the great tree still standing tall and dominating its place in the Mahora grounds. And the dean's office was still as spacious as ever. Their classroom still had the messages from the end of the school year. And… the dorms. "Grandfather must have gotten them cleaned," Konoka mused as she noted the dust-free rooms and fresh flowers in each one.
Laughter rang out through the hallway as the girls danced to their rooms and looked around as if they had never seen their rooms so neat and clean. Walking forward, Negi paused in front of the door and looked at the nameplate. "Kagurazaka Asuna and Konoe Konoka." And there was his name, scrawled out on a piece of paper in Asuna's handwriting and stuck on underneath: "And Negi Springfield."
The door opened and the three who had lived together since Negi had come to Japan walked in. The room was as straight as they had left it. Konoka and Asuna immediately put down their things as Negi looked around in near wonder. Asuna just laughed at his expression and then let out a gusty sigh of happiness. "We're home."
"She's just like me… and this world…" – Rakan
"We're barely back at school, and all you guys are outside having a picnic already?" asked Negi, shaking his head in exasperated amusement.
The Ala Alba laughed as they settled down on blankets under the trees and a cheerful Ku Fei divided steaming nikuman among the group. More picnic baskets were set out and they all settled down happily. "It's nice to not have anything special happening, isn't it?" Konoka mused as she cradled her nikuman in her hands.
There was a murmur of agreement among the group and Konoka turned to Setsuna questioningly. "What do you think, Set-chan?"
"It is indeed very comforting, Oujo-sama," Setsuna answered, to which Konoka pouted and she hastily added hesitantly, "Kono… Konoka-sama."
Konoka sighed and turned to Asuna in a huff. There was a moment of silence as Konoka waited for Asuna to answer. Asuna hesitated as if unsure of what to say. Then she smiled, "Yea, of course!" She scoffed slightly, "I don't want to keep watch over Negi-bozu everyday you know." As Konoka turned away, satisfied, Asuna raised her fist in the air, "I'm going to enjoy every second. Let's party!" Her cry sent a new burst of energy into the group and Negi sighed as somehow, a water balloon fight commenced.
Negi settled back against the tree to avoid the fight and chuckled slightly at everybody's antics. Then, he looked to his left confused as a grinning Asuna sat down next to him. Negi looked at Asuna carefully. She looked… wistful. Tired. Sad? "Asuna-san?" his query caused Asuna to nearly jump out of her skin.
"Negi-bozu," she gasped, shocked. "I didn't see you there!" She smiled. It was so amused and clear of any sadness at all, Negi wondered if he had just misread the emotion on Asuna's face. Asuna shifted at the careful scrutiny, "What?"
Negi shook it off, "Nothing." He awkwardly covered his stare by taking a gulp of juice and turned back to the fight before them. Then, he sighed when he noticed that it had degenerated to physical and magical fighting rather than the previous water balloons. His eyes drifted among his laughing students but barely noticed them as he wondered about the person next to him. Was she really alright?
The person in question sighed. "Stop worrying, Negi." Startled, Negi turned to look at her over the rim of his juice box. "I can read you like a book. You're thinking that something's wrong and you're worrying." She laughed. "Don't worry this isn't an illusion." There was a touch of irony in her words and Negi turned completely to face her.
"Asuna…" the lack of honorific startled her, he knew. Looking deep into her eyes, he searched and found the same sadness earlier. "There is something wrong, isn't there?" The slight tremor that passed through her body at his words strengthened his conclusion.
Asuna shook her head and turned back to look at the others, avoiding his gaze. Purposely? "Negi, you worry too much. C'mon, just calm down and enjoy yourself, 'k?"
Negi opened his mouth to retort when a loud, angry shout interrupted his words. Turning, he found that Haruna had summoned doubles of the entire Ala Alba. Wearing leather. Holding whips. And they were definitely not thinking innocent thoughts. Asuna guffawed and stood up, brushing her clothes off. "Negi?" He turned back to her. "Don't worry about me, I'll be okay." And as a breeze came and ruffled his hair, he let the laughter of his students fill his ears. This was better than the illusion that Cosmo Entelecheia had shown him.
"I always worry. It's my nature. Usually, I'm wrong to my great relief. But sometimes, sometimes… my worries turn out true." – Negi Springfield
Konoka had noticed it next. It was hard not to notice – Asuna's sleep wasn't quiet anymore. Sometimes Negi wondered if she slept at all. A few days after the first murmurings, the not-quite-screams of past memories relived, Konoka had just looked at Asuna. Negi had watched as the wordless conversation passed through their gazes. Emotions flickered across Asuna's face: guilt, sorrow, and other nameless emotions that tore at his heart. Konoka however, had just looked, a gentle, comforting smile. And then it was over and Asuna had looked away. "Don't worry, I'm fine." Somehow, neither of the other two believed her.
It was hard to hide such a large secret without it getting caught with such a close class like 3-A and more people were noticing. Asuna's weakness was slowly showing itself, most noticeably during P.E. Her throws were weaker and she tired out faster than usual. During class, Asuna just seemed to fade into her chair, not unlike a ghost and she would mostly be found sleeping. Her fights with Ayaka were mostly just one or two names being called and not even the Ala Alba could get her interested for more than a few hours. By then, they could all tell that Asuna's smiles and laughs were obviously fake. Asuna barely even attempted to fake them anymore. People were noticing, and all she replied with was, "Don't worry, I'm fine."
But she wasn't fine. And he was worrying. Negi knew something was wrong. Who couldn't? And so he watched and waited and worried. And he was right. Even with the strange weakness and the obvious lies with each "I'm fine," when it happened, it came unexpectedly.
The class, not counting the Ala Alba, had left the classroom. Their chattering was cut off by the thunk! of the door closing behind them. "Asuna-san," Setsuna had begun grimly, "We need to talk."
Even with her weakness, Asuna wasn't stupid enough to misunderstand what Setsuna was talking about. "Don't worry, I'm fine," came the mechanical response. Negi felt his stomach clench at the words. Why couldn't she tell them? Why was she lying?
Yue spoke next, "No you aren't. And don't think you're fooling anybody with that." The collective group nodded in tacit agreement.
Konoka added softly, "We're your friends. Don't turn your back on us, please."
Asuna's eyes widened slightly. Then she shook her head with a wry smile. "I can't. It won't change anything." She glanced at the clock, and then stood up. She was trembling. "Look, I've got to go. I–" she stopped. Her eyes filled with horror and then she stopped and grabbed her heart. "Ahhh…"
"Asuna?" Konoka was standing up, her chair falling over. "Asuna!"
Asuna was on her knees, coughing. Blood splattered on the floor as the rest of the Ala Alba reacted. Negi, however, was frozen in shock. His eyes were wide as he stared at the scene in front of him. It was a dream… it had to be. Asuna seemed to be flickering. Parts of her body turned transparent, then reappeared. The blood that they had all seen, heard, smelled, had disappeared.
Faintly, Negi could hear an echo of her earlier words: "Don't worry, I'm fine." Lies. All lies. Nothing but an illusion that hid the truth.
"She knew. She had known ever since she got her memories back… And she never told us, never told me." – Yukihiro Ayaka
He sat at the edge of her bed, clutching his staff tightly. "What's wrong with her, Dean? Takamichi?" His knuckles tightened until they were white and his hysterical figure trembled. Konoka sat next to him, hugging him and trying to control her own worries. Even Evangeline was there, face impassive as she watched the strange there-not-there body of Asuna on the bed.
The dean sighed as he stroked his beard. "I'm sorry to say I don't know." His forehead crinkled as he frowned. "I've contacted Mundus Magicus, they'll be here soon. We can only hope that they know what is wrong and can fix it."
Takahata just swallowed as he looked at the girl who was almost his daughter. Then he turned as he said brusquely, "I'll see if they're here yet." The door shut behind him. Negi turned back to the still form of Asuna and closed his eyes almost desperately. Please, Asuna, please get better.
It could have been a century or a day; Negi wasn't sure, but through the window he could see shadows lengthening as the sun slowly headed towards the horizon. A few hours, maybe. However long it was, Takahata came in with an entourage of people. Rakan, Princess Theodora, Godel… Negi's eyes snapped back to the front however, when the princess gasped. Negi looked at them, his eyes pleading. "Please, can't you–?"
Theodora looked at him, "Negi-kun…" She turned beseechingly to Rakan.
He sighed and turned to Negi. As his eyes passed over Asuna, he seemed to flinch slightly. "Look… kid…" His voice was pained and he paused for a second, gathering himself. The room was quiet apart from the harsh breathing coming from Asuna and the sound of crickets coming from outside. The room was growing darker as the sun touched the horizon. "Negi… you know how we are illusions, right?"
The Ala Alba nodded as a whole, confusion evident among many of their faces. Rakan soldiered on, each word seeming to cut deeper into his body than any wound. "We are fakes. Beings made from nothing, and so, we are nothing. Nothingness given shape by magic." He paused, "Negi… so is Asuna."
The sun was halfway down now, casting a shadow over Rakan's eyes. "But what does that have anything to do with how she is now?" asked Negi slowly. An awful feeling was worming up from his stomach and into his heart. He was missing something… something important.
Evangeline was the one who answered. Her eyes glittered with an emotion that Negi couldn't describe. "They are illusions made with magic, boya." She bared her teeth in a mirthless smile, "And Asuna is a magic-canceller."
The sudden silence was broken by a sudden scream from Asuna as she writhed. Negi watched in horror as her arm passed through the bed, then appeared again on top. His fruitless attempts at holding her still hid his face as he avoided everybody's eyes. It couldn't be… It just couldn't.
Konoka spoke again, her voice wavering as Asuna calmed down. "Can't I heal her? Repair her?"
Rakan shook his head, "We knew it would happen eventually. Her magic-cancel grows stronger with each passing day. By locking her memories, we provided something for it to focus on instead of eating at her body. But that was only holding it back. Nobody knows how to fix this, it's impossible." The Ala Alba exchanged mutinous looks among each other – they had done the impossible before. They could do it again. Yue summoned her artifact and began flipping through it frantically. Nodoka and Haruna joined her as page upon page was read in the blink of an eye. Rakan just watched them sadly.
Asuna groaned slightly as she opened her eyes. "Asuna!" Negi watched her worriedly as she shakily raised herself up. "You shouldn't–"
Her glare cut him off. "Honestly, Negi. I'm going to die soon and I'd rather say good-bye while I still can."
Negi bit his lip, "No. There has to be a way to help you." He watched Yue desperately as if his very gaze could help guide her to the solution.
Asuna sighed, "There isn't. Rakan-san had all that time in Mundus Magicus to research, and I know that's what he's been doing." She gave Rakan a knowing grin. "And if a great hero like him couldn't track down even the slightest lead, then I really don't think you guys could do it in a few minutes."
"But you aren't going to die yet. You can't know when you are going to die," argued Negi.
If he thought that would quiet Asuna, he was very mistaken. "Oh yes I am," her melancholy voice was unwavering in its belief, "I can feel it, I'm fading, don't you see?" She raised her hand and to Negi's horror, it was not switching between transparent and solid but was slowly gaining complete transparency. Asuna turned to the entire group around her and smiled. It was a true, genuine smile. "Thanks for trying, guys. Sorry for worrying you."
Then, she focused on Negi. "Hey," she raised a hand and tried to pet his head. When it went right through she winced and Negi realized that there were tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. Take care of yourself, 'k?"
"Goodbye…" And as the last vestiges of the sun's rays disappeared, so did Asuna's body. With a hand raised, a small smile still on her lips, Asuna Kagurazaka faded away. The illusion had been undone.
"Becoming nothing is easy… after all… I've never had anything in me to begin with…" – Kagurazaka Asuna
A/N: I keep making Asuna die… What's wrong with me? TT_TT Anyways, this came from an idea that popped into my head – Asuna is the queen of an illusionary world. What if she was an illusion too? Some of the quotes from the manga, especially the last one seem to hint that she is, and then I thought 'how would her magic-cancel affect her if she was an illusion?' So yea, this is where it all sprung out from. I don't really like the ending that much either. Meh…
(1) For those who don't know, nikuman are steamed buns.