Coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down

Because I want it all

Ten months. Ten damn months it had been since everything started to go to shit. One would think the turning point to hell for Ichigo was when he lost his powers, but unfortunately they would be wrong. If it were that simple the dull pain that gradually made it's fast paced slide down into despair would have happened eleven months ago. that was when things seemed bleak, yeah, but hopeless no. that was now. Eleven months ago he was blindsided with the loss of his powers. so use to having all that fury to back up his talk, now it was just gone. of course, the stress rose and he was sadly stuck in a rut of self-pity. but that had dissipated quickly and it was all on the upswing from there. so he thought.

School became just as it had before. mundane? maybe. educational, definitely. by no means was it a bad thing and it was relatively easy to get back into the groove of socializing and studying. By the one, month mark he had adapted rather well even coming to accept his forced normalcy. if you really wanna find where it all threw itself straight in the crapper you'd have to get to the second month. he was, dare he say, almost content with his life. coming home from school after a day of hanging with his friends to his room, after of course his little unique welcoming through the front door of the Kurosaki household by his father, to silence. Usually, Ichigo liked the silence. If he had to pick a best friend, silence would surely be the front runner. But it was in that second month that silence had started to be a bitch. It would let things get through, thoughts he otherwise could ignore in the chaos of school or helping out his dad with patients.

Thoughts like of the way silky auburn would dance in the wind. and unfortunatly, that was his thoughts verbatume. his mind had a bit of a poet in there somewhere, aparently. not like it came out often for just anyone. only when he thought of her. so, after the first time that thought crossed his mind he had decided to fill his head with noise, and lots of it. his weapon of choice; alternative music blaring into his eardrums. now, ichigo wasn't initially one to just sit around listening to music. things like putting in earbuds was a rarity. Unfortunately, as the weeks past, it started to be so common he would even fall asleep with them. what ichigo happened to oversadow in his futile attempts, it didn't keep images away. Images like her lips. or how tight her white shirt seemed to get all of a sudden. though when he really thought about it, even if it was kind of hard with blaring music resinating in his brain, he would have known how unlikely that was. they surely hadn't gorwn that much in just a month. even with his limited knowledge of female puberty he was sure they didn't just blump up like that, right? and then he'd find himself in a whole other set of problems. problems he had no buisness being in when thinking of the innocent auburn girl.

Thinking like this was new of course for Ichigo. And he made it a point to not think in such ways, especially around said girl. The first time his body had reacted to those images of her tight shirt and school regulated length skirt, that now thinking about it was entirly too short and innapropriate, he was understandably confused. Ichigo had never been a normal teenage boy, even before becoming a Soul Reaper. Simply put the opposite sex was of no issue for him which led many to believe he was gay. Of course, since he never really thought about it he figured anything was possible. Though he simply had no interest in finding out either way. Then came the strange black haired girl that gave him powers and unlocked a whole other can of worms that were too much that he didn't even have time to think about his sexuality even if he'd had an interest to. So, there went a year of being in battle after battle and no time for normalcy. Which of course was fine and after a while he didn't even expect it even if in the beginning he'd wanted nothing more than to be your average high school kid. In that year, he'd become someone almost unrecongnizable to those around him. Stronger, more confident and of course, more irritable. Though his features had matured so had his mind and heart. But, not once did he think about girls.

Even as Yoruichi was bare before his eyes, giving him an unwanted push into the female anatomy, it had just passed through his mind and never came back. It wasn't stuck and it didn't push him to realize anything unlike it most likely would have for any other boy in his situation.

However, now that everything had cooled down into nothing but your everyday routine of a high school student, it was like some kind of switch had been flipped. One by none other than Inoue Orihime. In the beginning, why it had been her was a question that plagued his mind none stop. Why was it Orihime and not Yoruichi who's body he'd actually seen? When he tried to force his mind to think of the dark skinned, purple haired woman carelessly naked right before his eyes it was blank. Like his mind had somehow just tossed it out at some point. Why his mind thought it irrelevant was another more pressing question. It surely would have helped in situations when his mind would randomly try to figure out what was behind Inoue's ever tightening white shirt. He never entertained the thoughts for longer than a couple seconds, letting his resolve slip which would piss him off to no end. almost a whole month stuck in this madness and he still hadn't figured out a way to ignore or control it. School was beginning to become unbearable. Walking into class with something akin to a bubble stuck in his stomach at the sight of Inoue would do nothing for him.

Those thoughts got worse before they got better. Until he was finally so pissed off and frustrated that he said be damned those thoughts and finally placed his hands on the familiar bulge that would make itself known rather quickly after an image of Inoue came to mind. The sad part was it usually sprang up faster at an innocent image. The sensation was wonderful, he had to admit. Even with two layers of cotton between the flesh. His hips would push against the force of his hand and it would snap him out of his thoughts. The shame came instantly and the cold shower came seconds after.

After that day, Ichigo tried his best to ignore the images again. It was difficult and his stupid teenage brain didn't take too kindly to being ignored. But, after two weeks of avoiding the images with television and reading a manga, he felt close to normal again.

Third month in and it hit him like a ton of bricks how much things had changed without him even noticing. Like how close he and his friends had actually gotten. He'd always been close to his friends, always cared deeply for them. But what really brought it into few was when Orihime told him about her financial situation. They bell had rung and everyone had scattered, leaving Inoue and Ichigo alone as they were the only two without an after school activity. This, of course, struck Ichigo as odd on Inoue's behalf seeing as she'd been a member of multiple clubs if memory serves. So, he'd asked. The face Orihime had upon her face was enough to make any man weak in his knees, not only Ichigo, but especially him given his new found interest in the girl. She looked so sad. Like a kicked puppy in the rain.

"Oh, well, you see. I've been having some money problems lately…" Her voice was soft as always and it wasn't until then how quiet she really was came into his mind. If the initial shock of her unexpected words wasn't enough, the thought that she would so openly say something so personal to Ichigo was. "So, I had to give up all my activities."

"You see, I had to get a second job because now that I'm getting older the money from Sora's life insurance is running low. I don't want to touch it since, I always feel so bad for using his money. You see, it's not really mine if you think about it. I feel greedy when I use it on bills. Like I'm taking something that I didn't work for just to keep myself comfortable. Sora worked hard for that money. I don't want to waste it on silly things. So, In addition to working at the bakery from Monday-Thursday, I work at this nice little shop down the street on Wednesdays and Fridays. I'll even take a few shifts on the weekend if I can. It's not a lot of money since I can't really work as much as I'd like to with having to study for school and all. But it's enough to pay back my landlord."

"See, I got a little behind when I was…" She'd been talking so much Ichigo was surprised when she stopped. If her face wasn't sad before it was just pitiful now. "When everyone had came and gotten me from Hueco Mundo," she bit her lip and fiddled with her fingers. In any other situation, Ichigo would have found it endearing. Now he just wished she'd stop. "apparently since no one was home to sign the checks they froze the account and I just recently got through all the paperwork to start them up again. But it won't be for a few months and so in the meantime, I'll just have to keep working until my arms fall off and then until my legs can't move anyone." she moved her arms in a sort of up and down motion as her voice carried with set determination meshed with a sort of innocence that was only Inoue.

"Mr. Landlord was so patient with me while I found my second job. He didn't even get as mad as he had been in the past with late rent," she got a faraway look in her eyes. Her face was soft and thoughtful. No evidence of the lines that creased around her brows when she'd furrow them in that sad way. It was a mental whiplash really keeping up with her changing emotions. "Well, anyways, with working almost every day after school I couldn't really stay in my clubs comfortably. So, I had to drop them." It was then that she finally looked at Ichigo in the eyes. He guessed she didn't like the face he was making because she was quick to appease him. "Oh, it's not a problem, really Kurosaki-Kun. Clubs aren't everything anyways. Besides, I was so far behind in them I wouldn't have been able to be much help to anyone anyways. I'd just be in the way and so really it's the best option. I have no problem dropping out of them. Honest." He couldn't look at her. For some reason, the guilt monster really liked eating at him at the moment. Here he was being a pervert, sitting in the lap of luxury, while poor Inoue was stuck with the burden of growing up before she even needed to. Though let's face it she's never had much of down time to be a teenager with no worries. Hell, before she was even in her teens she was burdened with the shit she shouldn't have been. His fists clenched and his hair covered his face from her view.

"Come on Inoue, I'll walk you to work." He said monotone as he led the way out of the classroom they'd been in.

"Kurosaki-Kun…" She attempted before finally following behind him silently. No words were spoken until they'd found their way to the run-down shop not too far from the school. It also wasn't in the best of neighborhoods. Ichigo had seen more than one hoodlum standing around in the alleyways. He sighed loudly which got Orihime's attention. That wasn't his intention, but since she was looking at him anyway, he figured he might as well say what was on his mind.

"This is the 'nice little shop?'" Ichigo was visibly surprised by Orihime's choice of words to describe the place. "This is a bad neighborhood, Inoue. I can't believe you even took a job here. You could do so much better." And then it hit him. She definitely could do much better. And he knew exactly where she would fit in. "Come on, let's tell them you're quitting. You've found a better job anyways."

It was no wonder when Orihime was completely confused and asked, "Uhm, Kurosaki-Kun...But, I haven't found-" He didn't let her finish, he just grabbed her by the wrist and gently pulled her to follow him. An act neither of them was expecting but both decided to ignore.

"Of course you have. At the Kurosaki Clinic." She was shocked into silence.

After a quite lengthy battle with his father over the whole job situation, Orihime was quick to start as soon as tomorrow. What she was doing was pretty simple really. She was just organizing for his father, which actually wasn't too easy when you thought about it. His office was a pig sty and he was hopelessly lost on what patient came when and why they were there. It was fast paced, somewhat challenging, but Inoue happened to fit right in and that was all Ichigo cared about anyways.

As the next month came and went Ichigo became spoiled with her presence. Every day almost they walked home together, even when she didn't have to work at the clinic Ichigo simply grabbed her wrist and pulled her along. It got to the point he didn't think too much of the physical contact. After about the twelfth time, his hand stopped being so clammy that he'd have to pull away quicker than he wanted. When at the beginning on their walks to the Kurosaki clinic there was almost dead silence, was now filled with laughter and conversation. If an outsider were to look at it and trust that many did, it was easy to think they were dating. This thought didn't really bother Ichigo really. In truth, it made him walk that extra inch closer to her and laugh even louder than necessary at her silliness.

He wasn't so stoic and crabby, everyone noticed. Even Orihime, though she couldn't for the life of her find the source of Ichigo's sudden merriment.

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

Five months in and things were going well. Ichigo was actually enjoying his time as a normal teenager. He'd gotten closer to all his friends, well all but Ishida who had been acting rather off since everything went down. But, that didn't bother him much. Or at least all his time with Orihime didn't allow for it too. Basically, it went over his head. Though it didn't go over everyone's.

Inoue had taken a special interest in finding out why Ishida had become so distant. Not only from Ichigo, but also from the entire group. Tatsuki had been the one to bring it up. Orihime's ears instantly perked up and she scooted closer to her friends to hear better.

"Wonder what's crawled up his ass?" Tatsuki mocked after an especially quiet Uuryu up and left with so much as a goodbye to anyone.

"He seemed upset." Chad chided in monotonously and then bit into his sandwich.

"I'm worried about him," Orihime said with a thoughtful voice that made Ichigo's brows crease somehow deeper into their set scowl. He didn't like her giving Ishida's feelings so much attention. It was then Ichigo mentally punched himself. What kind of man was he to get pissy over something as simple as a friend worrying about a friend. Speaking of which his friends were all expecting his very own impute on the matter at hand.

"Just leave it alone. He's probably upset because he's bored. Nothing to worry over." Ichigo dismissed and took a large bite of his white rice off his chopsticks.

"Orihime, why don't you go talk to him. Ishida's always had a soft spot for you." Tatsuki suggested and poked Orihime in her rib to get her to agree. Orihime's face turned into one of determination and she did a cute dance of sorts with her arms.

"Right Tatsuki, I'll talk to him and see if I can help somehow. I'm sure all he needs is an ear to listen to him." And then up she was after that four-eyed nerd. Ichigo couldn't even control his thoughts. Soft spot? Ishida didn't have a soft spot for anyone, why would Tatsuki say that. Of course, they were friends, but that's it. A soft spot implied something more than that right? Like she had a place in his heart that she had no business being in. That damn Ishida. He was probably playing this all up to get attention anyways, why did everyone even care. It most likely was nothing to begin with. If he had a problem he should have been a man and said something to the group instead of walking off like a child just so he could get someone to come after him and lick his wounds. Suddenly, Ichigo lost his appetite.

She'd been gone entirely too long. That was why he was roaming the halls, looking in classrooms and asking girls to check the bathrooms. He wasn't being crazy if that's what you're thinking. He was just making sure she didn't tumble down a flight of stairs or pass out somehow and make her way to the nurse's office. She was an accident prone girl, no matter how strong she was and how much she's been through. Her ditziness, especially after being put back into the normal world as well with Ichigo, hadn't left her.

So it was after the third floor and the sixth girl he asked to check to bathrooms that he was finally going to go back up to the roof. His bathroom excuse would only last so long before everyone started getting the wrong ideas. That was when he turned the wrong corner and looked in the wrong classroom since he figured he was already going this way.

It would have been kinder to stab him in the stomach with a zanpakuto. Anything would have been better than witnessing Ishida and Orihime locked in a passionate kiss in the middle of the classroom. It was like oxygen and his lungs could no longer communicate because he was sure he hadn't breathed for the past however long he'd been standing here. This wasn't happening. He must be hallucinating. Inoue and Ishida? There was no way that could happen. Ishida probably didn't even like girls. Ichigo was sure he was asexual or even gay. But, then it was like a freight train just wacked his heart into beating again because he was sure it had stopped from lack of oxygen, and the realization had finally cracked through his thick walls.

Ishida had always been off when he was around Orihime. He was, for a lack of a better word, softer. He wasn't so uptight and he never really even yelled at her. Never did Ichigo see a genuine moment of disdain for Orihime from Ishida. Though he wouldn't expect it anyways, it wasn't like Inoue was someone that you got mad at easily. But when you compared it to his disposition towards any and all people, it was much like his own attitudes towards Orihime. That was when he noticed the looks. The way Ishida would stare cold pressed and irritated just by the sheer presence of anyone else, but would be light and kind in the presence of Orihime. That damn light bulb always liked to turn its self on at the worst times. Too little too late you damn light. Might as well never turn on for the good it did Ichigo.

He didn't know when he'd managed to close the door. When he'd even made it back to the roof. Or even when he'd gotten back to his classroom, but he'd gotten there surely looking much like a zombie. Nothing would compute. Nothing even made sense anymore. It was like something had been ripped away from him. Much like his powers, only this felt a million times worse. This wasn't just spiritual, this was his soul and heart both being clawed away and stomped on. And he could feel every bit of it. But his mind wouldn't snap him out of it.

When school had ended and he hadn't made a move to get up from his chair was when reality started to crash down on him. they kissed. Yeah, that much was obvious dipshit, you saw it. He thought. It was only a kiss, it doesn't mean shit! His thoughts began to take a dive into the erratic. He wouldn't accept the consequences of a kiss. What that meant and where things went from such a declaration of feelings for someone. Plenty of people kiss and nothing comes out of it. Stop being fucking paranoid. Inoue...It was like his thoughts had hit a brick wall because what he wanted to say wouldn't ring true or appease him in any way. He wanted to declare that she didn't care for Ishida like that. That it had been a surprise, unwanted at that, but she didn't have the heart to just push him away. She'd never do that, she's too nice and aware of hurting people. No matter if he tried to make himself believe this there was nothing coming to mind that could corroborate it. She never looked to him with disgust, not that Inoue would really do that. She didn't even look to her enemies in such a way much less a friend like Ishida.

But was he even a friend? Now, now that he'd obviously showed her that that's not where his feelings ended for her. Was that were her's had? Did she have any feelings beyond friendship for Ishida? Is that why she'd been so worried about him. Why she watched him as he left like he was walking out on her and not the entire group. And then the worse thought of all came to mind and he was physically sick. What if that hadn't been the first time? What if they'd been together this entire time behind his back. Laughing as they fooled everyone? No, Inoue wouldn't be the one laughing. But that bastard Ishida surely would be.

His hands had managed to grip onto the desk and surely if he'd let his thoughts continue to run rampant he would break the poor inanimate object that was by no means his source of anger. No, that spot was reserved for Ishida.

Now I'm falling asleep

And she's calling a cab

While he's having a smoke

And she's taking a drag

Those thoughts plagued his mind. Over and over they spun as he tried and failed, to sleep that night. The music as an effort to blare out the thoughts was quickly shunned thought because no matter what he did that kiss would run wild with his thoughts all night. Ishida and Inoue. Kissed. The tear that escaped his dark eyes didn't escape his thoughts. But his body didn't care enough to swipe it away.

Orihime had stayed late that night. The patient overflow was enough to back them up a couple hours. Isshin offered her to stay for dinner and then in the same token offered up his cowering son, who had spent his entire day in his bed thinking, to walk her home. Of course Orihime refused, Ichigo tried so damn hard not to take it personally. But it decided to twist the knife in his gut anyways. She doesn't even want to be around me now. He would have kicked himself for being so hyper-sensitive. But he didn't feel like blaming himself quite yet. Though he had some ammunition when the time came.

The car pulled up, an obscene yellow and Ichigo couldn't stop himself from now hating that color. The damn cab had been called only five minutes ago, not nearly long enough from him to attempt...well he wasn't quite sure what he was going to say but it didn't even give him enough time to try and figure that out.

"Kurosaki-Kun?" Her voice was like sweet vanilla flowing through the cramped and rapid gears of his head and his body, like a snake to the flute, looked up at her gray eyes. He finally felt the air enter his lungs for the first time. Though obviously if he was still alive to feel the pain of this whole situation his mind had found the time to keep him alive. Damn brain, doing its job at the worst times.

"Yeah." He didn't even recognize his own voice. It was like it was being filtered through a broken voice box. It was hardly audible and soon after his throat felt tight and like someone had just dumped acid down it. Great, more pain.

"I just…" She looked at him, saddened. He didn't try to make himself feel any worse, but when she was sad he couldn't help but hate himself for even putting that look on her face. "Are you...okay?" she asked and it was like she knew, somehow. She flinched in this unOrihime sort of way like she was ready for a lash of his tongue that he would never dare let grace her ears.

He tried swallowing, which was a wasted effort. Nice try, but utterly useless. There was no getting around the pain. So, he just pushed his voice through it ignoring that small hint of metallic in the back of his throat as the words left dry lips. "I'm fine, Inoue." He stood and didn't even want to think of the amount of force that took to do. "Goodnight."

The door closed behind him as his feet carried him to his bed. He didn't know how it happened or when his body finally decided that it had had enough torture for the day and shut down. But he was grateful for once the emptiness of his dreams.

Now they're going to bed

And my stomach is sick

And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest

Now, he takes off her dress

Now, letting me go

He didn't know why he never said anything. Why he just let it happen. Really he had no one else to blame for the image he was forced to look at right now. How they almost snuggled on top of each other at lunch. How she'd all but forced him to eat her horrible concoctions and expect him to smile as he did it. The effort it sometimes took for her to even get him to do it all but pissed Ichigo off. He couldn't stop himself from thinking it wouldn't have taken that much effort if he were in that bastard's shoes. He'd do anything to see that girl with the auburn hair smile. Apparently Ishida was too selfish sometimes. It would bring that all too familiar twitch to his orange brow and ball to his fists that would have Chad setting down his lunch and watching Ichigo until he finally looked at his friend and calmed down. The four months that Ichigo had to endure this was almost unbearable.

The knife in his back, that he wished by now was literal, was nothing short of painful. He still felt it, every day. Just pushing deeper and deeper until it would sometimes collapse a lung, especially when they would so nonchalantly rub it in his face.

His joy had dissipated, which didn't go unnoticed by all but sadly for Ichigo he didn't get Orihime running after him and kissing him to make it all better. Though if he knew him running away would bring on such actions he'd gladly do it. Pride be damned.

The countless times that he would lay in bed and think about it only to feel physically nauseous were at a staggering level. In the beginning months, it had been every night. He'd gone the week of them announcing their relationship to the group of sleepless nights and vomiting. He felt weak. Like a child who couldn't get over someone playing with his favorite toy so he suffered and cried and put himself through hell and yet in the end he never got his toy back. Of course Orihime was no object, but it was the best of an analogy that he had in his arsenal.

He wasn't quite sure what he'd expected, really. That maybe they would start a flame only to burn out quickly and things would go back to normal. That Ishida would wind up being, well, Ishida and she'd finally see what a big mistake it was to date him. That she'd come to terms with her only dating him because she didn't want to hurt his feelings but that that ship had sailed and she was ready to come clean. Then, maybe life would begin to make sense again.

However, what he hadn't expected was them coming to school one day, visibly blushed when they even looked at each other. Or how his hand would have a mind of its own and hold her leg right in front of all of them. Them feeding each other and kissing so openly. But the biggest thing he didn't expect was to be in the locker room and see the condom that feel from Ishida's bag. How Ishida just pushed up his glasses and picked it up without a second thought. How it had made Ichigo's stomach turn into knots like someone had reached in and took hold of his insides. How he imagined innocent little Orihime underneath that piece of shit and yelling out his name instead of Ichigo's. And all the pain that came with it enough to make him have to hold onto the locker for dear life and forgo gym that day.

He'd wished he'd just died right then because it would have been better than the thoughts that rushed through his head all night. The ones that brought an onslaught of unmanly tears and had him curled into the fetal position. Her taking off her school shirt as Ishida watches unmarred by her sudden nudity because it was normal for them. How he could touch her bare breasts and hear that intake of breath. The little pant she would make as he kissed her mounds and the feeling of his tongue as they trailed over hard peaks that only he had the fortune to witness.

How he got to use his nimble fingers to maneuver her short skirt of her body and see the color of her underwear underneath. The feeling of his rough hands as they glide down her silk legs and the ability to kiss right below her naval if he so chooses. How he gets to hook his fingers into the bands of her panties and pull them down. How Orihime even trusts him to do so. Trusts him to see her body in all it's glory. The thought of her hands on his chest. Her lips against his stomach and her hands unbuttoning his pants. How Ishida was so lucky to feel those soft hands on him, pulling and rubbing with that gentleness and care she shows only to him. How he can be so unashamed to call her name out as the sensation overtakes him.

The worst of it is when he imagines him on top of her. How he can feel the inside of her where no one else has been and it's his name she's calling out. How much that killed Ichigo that it wasn't his own on her lips. The tears don't stop and he's all but a blubbering mess. No one in the Kurosaki house even lets on about the sniffling behind the door.

I just can't look it's killing me

And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Swimming through sick lullabies

Choking on your alibis

The dark bruise on her neck gives it away and he can't even count how many times he's felt the pain of dying. She tries to hide them, but even Isshin sees them though he doesn't say anything much to the surprise of everyone. He'd only look straight at Ichigo who would instantly shell into something akin to a lifeless droid. No more life behind his eyes. Though Ichigo had never been the most joyous person around, or one to show much emotion, it was like he wasn't even alive anymore. It scared Isshin. He loved his child, cared so much for him it was like he was only living for him. He tried not to let on that he knew the cause of his child's sudden plummet into lifelessness, but it was too hard at times to ignore. The second the auburn haired girl would walk in it was like life shot to his eyes and then left like she'd somehow drained it in that very second. Like he'd see her and forget if only for a small millisecond and then it would all come back like being hit by a train and if Isshin wasn't better at hiding true emotions he would have cried for his son.

Her excuses did little more than damage. She'd stutter out lame excuses something close to one an abuse victim would use. Bumping into doors or burning herself with a hair drier. When everyone knew that she neither owned or needed a hair straightener in the first place. Ichigo would just walk off in little more than a dragging of his body up the stairs. The bruises burned into his eyes as if just to taunt him. A big flashing sign saying 'this is not your's its Ishida.' There were holes in the wall that Isshin would ignore and the girls hushed about behind closed doors.

School was the worst. He hated going, didn't talk to anyone and had managed to get in even more fights. For Ichigo that was surprising seeing as he has his fair share of fights regularly. Unfortunately now, he found any and all reasons to fight people. Even doing so on school grounds which he was smart enough not to do before for fear of getting himself into more trouble than it was worth. But, throwing caution to the wind, he didn't even care anymore.

He pulled away from his friends. He didn't even walk Orihime to work at the clinic anymore which was Isshin's first indication that it had something the do with Inoue. He tried not let it affect his working condition with her but sometimes it was difficult for him to look at him without clenching his jaws so tightly he was sure he'd break a tooth. Though that was little in comparison to Ichigo's attempts at squandering his obvious plight.

Ishida Uuryu didn't seem to care about his friend's inner turmoil. At least that's how it seemed. It was never the genius's intention to cause harm to his friend. He had never wanted that. But, it was first come first serve after all. Who ever have to emotional maturity to make the first move and fortunately for him, and less fortunate for Ichigo, it had been Ishida to take the plunge. The reward sorely outway the consequence. The simple fact that her eyes only stayed on him was enough for him to find why it was all worth it in the end.

Ichigo would watch them, this Ishida knew. He could see the look of pure hatred for himself and how he wished he could simply end Uuryu right there. Of course Ishida would love to see him try but alas the guy kept it to himself and let it out on others. He'd be lying if he didn't feel a tad guilty for the ones Ichigo actually places in the hospital with all that rage and jealousy, but really what could he do about it anyways? Give up Orihime? Fat chance. He'd rather die than have her leave or just give up on them because Ichigo wanted to wallow in it instead of move on.

Orihime stayed relatively oblivious to the whole thing really. She noticed Ichigo got into more fights than usual. But him not talking to the group was not really anything new. She figured he was just thinking as he'd always done. Even when he'd seemed somewhat lighter he didn't talk incessantly or any more than usually. It was just his delivery that had changed. It was more carefree and unbarred. It was nice, of course. She loved seeing Kurosaki-Kun seem unburdened. However short-lived it had been it was a good think he was happy even for a time. Never did it occur to her the same time she and Ishida started dating that Ichigo's walls went up stronger and more violently. She just wished him the best.

Really, she was scared. Scared to delve into it. to bring out that guilt that she knew would come if she were to look any deeper. She'd had her answer years ago when he had placed her into his box of friends and left her there. How long she had waited to break free of it. Yet, it never came. Sure he was warming up to her. But just because he was letting her in for a time didn't mean there was any way it would go beyond that. Orihime was almost convinced Ichigo couldn't love the way she wanted him to. Least of all her. So, she'd given up. She wasn't quite sure when or why it happened. Just that, she began to look less at him and more at the sky. Until her eyes fell back to earth and landed unexpectedly on Ishida. How she'd happened to notice he looked so sullen. How brilliant he really was in school. She'd proudly declare how smart she thinks he is, even going as far as saying he's the smartest person she could ever know. And how soon that admiration had found its way to Love. She didn't know it could be like that. Like she was a miner that finally broke down a wall while trying to dig in the ground for gold. How impossible she thought it could be, after Ichigo, to do such a thing.

It almost made her weep. Loving someone and having them love you back. Well, it was more than anyone could ask for and more than many people got in their lifetime. So, best not to spoil it with could have been's and maybe's. Besides, it wasn't fair to Ishida. He loved her. No one came to his mind before her. She could at least show him the same courtesy.

But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

Cause I'm Mr. Brightside

Ichigo had no one to blame, really. It was too little too late. His stupid heart never really was one to fall in normal step with the others. So, really when you look at it, was it just how things were supposed to be? He tried to put that spin on it. Destiny and all that shit. The stuff that people say to make themselves feel better. He wanted the pain to be over so bad. He opened his heart and mind to all that Universe shit and Fate. But every time he would attempt it he wouldn't stop his mind from wanting to correct itself. Orihime and he were destiny. If he were to believe in any of that shit it was that she was perfect for him. That they would one day somehow make it to that destiny. Soon he found himself believing in all that red string, soul mate, love of your life crap that they try and sell in movies and young adult novels. But it was the only thing that helped him sleep at night and brought a kind of calm to him. Though it took months, well into the time he got his powers back, it was the peace he needed to keep fighting. Call him a sap, a wimp, whatever. But Mr. Brightside would do just fine.