Disclaimer: AIR [TV] does not belong to me, nor am I affiliated in any way. No profit was made from this ficlet.

A I R: Misuzu's Dream

I had a dream where I was falling and everything around me was just a mystical blur. There was no up and no down, but I was falling all the same with the wind rushing around my face. I closed my eyes and curled my arms up so tightly against myself that I could hardly breathe. I was moving faster, and faster, and the sound of my heart racing was deafening.

I was afraid to open my eyes again to see what was happening. How did I come to start falling like this? The world had just suddenly disappeared from beneath my feet and I panicked. But I couldn't scream and I couldn't cry. Instead, I folded up and cringed, hurtling through this strange space…

Once, I was all alone in a place so similar to this void. There was nothing but sorrow and loneliness buried deep within my heart. I would smile, because the world was beautiful, but it was so sad…it was so empty. I would sit at my window day after day, watching the blue sky gradually become gray and cloudy. But no matter how heavy the clouds became, it just wouldn't rain.

I imagine those clouds were a lot like myself. No matter how burdened they felt, they just couldn't release everything they were holding inside of them. If they did that, then they would just disappear. Their existence would become meaningless and they would simply fade away as though they never had been at all.

For years I grew up believing that I was meant to be alone. My mother, who really wasn't my mother at all, watched over me as best as she could, but I always thought that she ran away from me. I think I was her burden from the time she took me in, so I tried to just stay out of her way. She called me a good girl…it made me glad to see her so carefree. So I did whatever I could to keep her from having to take care of me too much.

That place inside my head and heart was still so dark, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I ached for friendship, even though I did my very best to make sure nobody knew how much it hurt to be alone. My empty world coexisted side by side where people laughed and talked and played…they passed me by like strange, magical creatures I could only find in picture books.

Maybe that's why I always seemed to identify with the dinosaurs I loved so much. They were long gone from this place…nothing but a memory. Most people didn't give them a second thought, and nobody really thought of them as real anymore because they'd been gone for such a great while. That was me. Just another dinosaur in the making…wandering lost on this earth while all I wanted was to be free.

Then you came along one day, Yukitoh. It was unexpected that I would come across you, but I'm so happy that I did. We became friends and my empty world opened a window to let you in. There was light in the darkness, and laughter; all the things that I could see parallel to me my entire life was happening to me. I felt truly happy and blessed to have you alongside me. I came to love you, too, Yukitoh. In the end, wasn't it the same for you?

We were the same, weren't we? Alone for most of our lives. I think we were destined to meet one another, to open all of the windows in our black worlds to let the sunshine reach inside and warm our hearts. Even when things became too difficult for you to stay, you still came back to me and mom. It made me…so happy. So happy that it took all of my energy to keep on loving you both with all that I had left. I never wanted you to know there was anything wrong with me. I think I hid from it myself so much over the years that I hadn't really thought it was important anymore.

During that time, those storm clouds finally burst…do you remember? It rained for such a long time…for hours, and days…for an entire week. Those were the best days I could ever have asked for, Yukitoh. They were spent with you always so near to me. Even if I couldn't see you, I knew you were close enough to come running if I needed you. Like the heavy clouds, I let my feelings come pouring out after having kept them a secret. Somebody like you, who could take the time to let me know I was real, to know that I didn't have to be alone, deserved to at least know exactly how I felt in return.

My dreams…they weren't so dark anymore. That last night before you, me, and mom went to the beach, I had that dream one more time. I felt myself falling again with my eyes closed and my body tightened into a ball. Through the wind blowing into my face, I could hear your voice calling for me. You told me not to be afraid anymore. You said my name and I smiled, opening my eyes to find you and mom standing so far below me.

Even though I could hardly see you both, I knew your hands were reaching up, waiting for me to grasp them. When I looked around, the mysterious blur had cleared up into a wonderfully blue sky and I realized that I wasn't falling after all. The air was sweet and clear and when I spread my arms out, I could feel downy feathers on my back.

I'd been flying the entire time, Yukitoh, but it was you who helped me find my wings. My body soared with the clouds, now white and fluffy, uninhibited by the rain because there was nothing left to spill. As I came rushing down to earth again, I found your and mom's hands still reaching for me. When I took hold, my wings disappeared, but it was alright, because I had found my release in you both. Even as I spent my last breath, it was with a smile on my face. Even with the horrible pain wracking through my body, I was so at peace. I closed my eyes for the final time and realized...

In my dreams, you had been there all along…