Hi,

Summary:
So this story is my own spin on Mockingjay, and its starts with Katniss waking up in district 13, she never woke up on the hovercraft so she has no idea where she is. It follows the same lines of them going to District 13, but that, along with normal parings, is the only thing that is similar. Katniss, Peeta, Johanna, and Finnick have all been rescued from the Games and were taken back to District 13 and it is just Beete and Annie who have been taken by the Capitol. I have tried to make it so all characters act the same way you would expect them to in the books, as in no one is very out of character.

I hope you enjoy this and I am aiming to have around 40 chapters, they are all planed. I hope you enjoy it and please review, it would mean so much to me. Opinions on what I have written and what you would like to see explored, and criticism (Please be nice about it though!)

I will put a disclaimer here, and it goes for the whole story, soooo…..I do not own the characters, I am just playing about with them for a bit! They belong to the amazing Suzanne Collins.

Enjoy! X

My head is pounding every bone in my body aches, every muscles sore. I try to open my eyes but the piercing light that is shining down above me prevents me, I have no idea where I am it smells like chemicals and there is a faint aroma of dirt and mud, a smell that mimics that of the arena. That's when my memory starts coming back. My name is Katniss Everdeen and my father died when I was little in the mines; I have a younger sister named Prim who I have had to care for since my father's death. My mother shut down so I hunted with my friend Gale. But then the unthinkable happened my younger sister was reaped. Chosen to partake in the vicious fight to the death that is known as the Hunger Games, I volunteered in her place. I won. Along side Peeta Mellark. We are the star-crossed lovers, but it's a lie. A year later we were reaped again having to go back into the arena and fight to the death once more at the 75th annual Hunger Games. We were by a tree, I left Peeta, Johanna attacked me, I passed out.

My breathing becomes laboured as I fidget around in bed trying to free my arms that are forced down by a quilt. I sigh trying once more to open my eyes and that's when I hear a voice. It's a voice I would recognise anywhere, it's the voice of the boy with the bread. It instantly puts me at ease, a feeling I am unsure of. Due to years of hunting i focus all my attention on his voice so I can hear what it is that he is saying.

I think the easiest way to go about this Mr Mellark is to tell everyone that she lost the baby. It will easily be accepted what with the trauma you two have been through. It would not have been good for the child, the conditions and stress would have caused a child to easily died in that arena."

My child, the one Peeta faked in hope that it would cause them to cancel the Hunger Games. It hadn't, Snow was too cold hearted of a man to let a story like that change his plans.

"Thank you Dr Aurelius." There is a slight pause, "Do you know when she will wake up?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she's already awake Mr Mellark. You can go into see her if you wish."

"Thank you, for everything."

"It is my pleasure."

I can make out the shuffling of feet that slowly approach me. The heavy footed step is unmistakable, I take a deep breath my nostrils filling with the scent of bread and cinnamon, a scent that, though faint, still clings to him.

He pulls up a chair, the legs of it scraping across the floor causing me to wince. I listen to him take a seat, still unable to open my eyes. I can hear his heavy breathing, can feel the warmth of it on my neck as he leans in towards me. I feel him take my hand in his own; it's warm and strong, rough from his labouring work but still ever so gentle and caring.

"Hi" I manage to croak out. I had not realised until now how dry my throat is.

I hear Peeta exhale loudly, "Hi" he half chuckles bringing my hand to his mouth and gently kissing the top. "How're you feeling?"

"Sore."

"I'm not surprised Katniss, you have a fractured arm, a massive gash down it, you lost a lot of blood, and you sprained one ankle and both wrists, you also have a concussion. You are covered in bruises and you've been out for 3 days! I've been so worried, I thought I'd lost you." His voice starts to break at the end, even with my eyes shut I know his are brimming with tears. It's what he gets for caring about me; it's why you shouldn't let yourself love so easily. It's painful.

He recomposes himself, "Would you like anything?"

"Can I have water please?"

"Of course," he swiftly gets up and I hear him walk towards the door he came in, "Don't move while I'm gone."

His voice is so full of emotion and love, I don't know how to reply. It's him that's good at words, not me. That's why he does all the talking in interviews, it's why he didn't need to be taught to get sponsors, and he can captivate a nation with a sentence so my reply of "okay" doesn't seem to do him justice.

I once again try to open my eyes; they slowly start to adjust this time and I am met with machines and pale green walls. The pungent smell of chemicals fills my nose, leading me to the conclusion that I am in a hospital. But where?

Only a few minutes pass, for me to think about the extensive list of injuries I have that Peeta seems to have memorised, until I can see Peeta approaching with a plastic cup of water. It's then that I realise he is still in his arena clothes, they are dirty and scorched surly he could have changed in the, was it 3 days he said I was out?

"There you go." He hands me the drink, which I eagerly accept, quickly downing the contents. I place the cup on a table that is next to my bed. It has a clock on it that reads 7:16am. It doesn't tick, I'm thankful. There is also a box of tissues and a bin placed in the right corner of the room, but apart from that the room I am in in bare. It's like a cage. Solid pale green walls surround me and opposite my bed a wall that is half made of glass so passers by can stare at you like a freak show and a white door. Comforting.

I turn back to Peeta, taking in his tired appearance.

"You look tired." I state.

"I am." He replies smiling at me ever so slightly, no doubt finding my bluntness amusing. Not wanting to be laughed at I continue.

"Why haven't you changed?"

"Haven't had the time." He shrugs as if it were obvious.

"Well what have you been doing that has taken up so much of your time?"

"Looking after you." I can't help but blush at this statement; the attention he gives me makes me feel weird, I don't quite know what it is.

"Well that's stupid."

"Sorry."

We are left in silence again, he gets up, putting my cup into the bin and sitting back down next to my bed. His fingers gently brush my cheek as he places a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. The light contact of his fingers on my skin sends tingles down my spine. His blue eyes are staring at me intensely; they glisten as they observe my face. I don't know where to look so I just stare back as his face slowly leans into mine. He has done this enough times in front of the cameras for me to know that he is about to kiss me. But there are no cameras, so why do I have to kiss him?

"Where are we?" I blurt out a bit louder than necessary, causing Peeta to withdraw from me and back into his seat looking crestfallen. Even though his hand is gone I can still feel the warm of where it touched my skin seconds ago. Hurt, he quickly covers his face with a mask I have grown accustomed to, one that broadcasts happiness and content but inside is screaming in pain. But I see the pain on his face for just a second before the mask comes up and I see the pain that I've caused by not loving him and I just want to scream out at the situation we are in. I watch him gulp, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

"Katniss, what do you remember?"

I look at him, puzzled, "Why"

"We aren't in the capital anymore, we got out of the arena, but do remember how?"

"No."

"It was planned from the beginning Katniss, Haymitch was in on it, so was Finnick, Beete, even Johanna. There has been talk of a rebellion in the districts, all because of us. People, they aren't afraid anymore they want to get their lives back from the capitol and stop living in fear. Because of you, they have hope. They see you as their leader Katniss they-"

"I don't want to lead anyone I-"

"Please let me finish, then you can yell or do whatever you want after, but you need to know." I sigh knowing it will be much easier if I just sit and wait. So I let him continue.

"They've been calling you the 'mockingjay' because of the pin you wear. There have been rebellions in some districts more than others such as 8, there are fights on the street. But it died down again when we were reaped again. Snow, he reaped us to do that, to dampen everyones spirit, but when I announced the baby everyone got angry again and he was no better off. I know you promised Haymitch to get me out, but I asked him to get you out and that has always been the plan." I move my mouth about to interrupt again but I restrain myself.

"I know you not always brilliant words Katniss, but you are full of action, and sometimes actions speak louder than words. You are the leader, the person everyone in the rebellion looks to, and if you died then so would the rebellion and that couldn't happen. So some of the victors joined together to make sure that you survived, but when you made it clear you wouldn't leave me I was dragged in the deal as well, so you saved my life again. There was a plan from the day we were reaped that we would get rescued at some point in the games, we just had to stay alive until then. And as you know we got rescued so now we are here, in District 13."

I can't process everything he has just said, how is Johanna on our side? She tried to kill me! How is it that they rescued us? Where is my family if we are in 13? How are we in 13? But all these questions I have all these things I don't know will wait right now I can't cope.

"Peeta, I...I can't be a leader! I don't want to lead anyone! Everyone I love is in danger, I can't be the reason people in the districts are dying aswell! I jut wanted to save my sister, it was all for Prim but it isn't ending. I can't lead. It's you, you're good with words you are always calm and know what to say. I don't. I CAN'T" and I burst into tears.

Peeta is up in a flash, I scoot over in my bed as his arms envelope me in a hug. He climbs into my bed, on top of the sheets. I place my head on his chest and let the tears fall for the first time in what seems forever. With the pressure of feeding Prim and Mom I never cried, not once did I cry, not in all the time I spent alone in the words. Never have I cried in front of Gale. But being here and all this pressure and with Peeta, it is too much and I cry, I feel the pain I have felt through all the years and just let it go as tears. I feel weak, leaders aren't weak. But I am weak, but I have Peeta's arms to be strong for me.

"Shhh, Kat, none of the deaths are your fault. They are Snows, you are brave and you are a leader, you don't have to make the rules and tell people what to do, they just want to see you all strong and fiery with your bow. Maybe you could have a squirrel with an arrow in it's eye in your hand?"

His attempt at making me laugh, though feeble does bring a smile to my face and I just bury my head further into his chest, so far that it must look like we are the same person. I'm embarrassed I don't want people to see me cry, especially someone like Peeta who thinks I'm strong. But as his hands runs down the length of my hair, smoothing it out and whispering comforting words in my ear, I can't help but allow myself to relax and stop caring.

Together we shuffle down on the bed and I lay in his arms just staring at nothing, maybe the ceiling? It's all just a pale green blur as I listen to him breathe in and out.

"I'm not strong enough to do it Peeta." I whisper, too afraid to admit my fears out loud.

I remember telling Gale once. When we were younger, I told him I couldn't keep hunting because I wasn't strong enough to, the lack of food had made me weak and in his own way he had tried to comfort me. 'Suck it up Katniss, if you become weak you'll die. Then who will protect your family?' I know he had meant it with kindness and at the time, the young me had found empowerment in it. But now, this new, scarred, changed me was at a loss and found no comfort in those words.

"I can't protect everyone Peeta."

"You don't need to."

"Yes I do, Prim, Gale, you, my mother and now the districts,"

"That isn't your job Katniss."

"It is, it has been since my father died, and the list of people I have to protect since the reaping is just growing."

"You don't need to protect the districts. They aren't your duty. They decide themselves what they want to do, not you, so their actions are their own. They don't need you to protect them. And as for your family, I'll help you, your not alone Katniss. I know you don't love me, but I won't ever stop loving you. I want to see you happy and will do everything to make that happen."

My eyes tear up, being offered help and his confession of love, even though I already know it, saddens me. It saddens me that the Capital has messed about with such a wonderful man who has so much to give. I also feel guilty I don't love him, and yet he still wants to help. I rub the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes.

"What about your family Peeta, you need to protect your family. You can't spend time protecting mine as well."

Peeta shifts under me, bringing his arm behind his head to rest on.

"They're dead."

His words are met with silence, I don't know how to react, how can they be dead? But then I remember I don't know where everyone is and how we got to District 13. Is my family even okay?

"What?"

"They died trying to escape 12, onl..only Rye survived. He is here now, and so is your family, don't worry, Gale got them out in time. See, even though you can't always be there your family will find a way to protect themselves, Gale will help as well. Not everything is up to you."

I stare at him, his family are dead and yet he still tries to comfort me. 'You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy.' Haymitch's words ring loud and clear in my ears.

"What happened?" I ask tentatively, pushing myself up and resting on my arm so I am looking straight into his face. I notice his eyes are tearing up and I am over come with the urge to envelope him in my arms as he did me. But I don't I just wait for him to reply.

"They were in the Bakery just before the bombs were dropped. It was just after we were pulled from the arena, Snow, he sent bombs to 12. About one third of 12 survived, and they were rescued by extract teams from 13. People, they've been living here in 13 for years now. We are underground, the surface is still a wasteland but this way Snow doesn't know where we are. This way, he can't drop bombs on us all!" His voice is full of despair.

"But when the bombs started landing my dad went to take my mom and brother out, but my mom refused to cross the seam to get to the extract teams. She was killed by her own snobbery. And she got the rest of my family killed because of it!"

His breathing has quickened and I can tell he is getting very angry so I do the only thing I know that distracts him. I kiss him. It isn't a passionate kiss, it's just to comfort it feels natural to do it. I try to convince myself that it is only natural to want to comfort your friends, but would I do this with Gale? I place my lips on his, short but sweet. I feel him stiffen at my sudden movement but then he relaxes into me. I can tell he wants to take the kiss further but he does't. I draw back and stare into his eyes, my lips warm from where his touched mine.

Peeta gives me a sad smile, "I just...wish I could have said bye more than anything, I don't want you to feel the loss I now do, I don't you to relieve the pain of losing your father again, and you won't not if I can help it."

Maybe it's because he's angry and sad and I feel the need to comfort him, maybe it's because I'm feeling weak and vulnerable right now, or maybe it's because I'm in intense pain. But whatever it is, it leads to my response of "okay". For once in my life I am letting someone else protect me, and consequently my family.

I settle back down into the bed, my arm draped across his broad form, his wrapped around my waist pulling me closer. My head moves with the rise and fall of his chest and I'm almost falling asleep when his voice brings me out of dreaming.

"Katniss, I know everything you said in the games wasn't true, I know you don't really need me, but I'll be here, you know that right? Besides, apart from Rye you've all I've really got now. I'm not expecting you to fall in love with me. But, I want to be your friend, we can't not talk to each other again, not like last time. Last time we were lost coming back from the Games. But it's different now, we've been through more, we are slowly braking. And I need you to put me back together. You can't go through what we have been and not be friends. So all I'm asking is, please don't shut me out. Just be my friend."

He places a kiss on my forehead and strokes my hair one last time and gets off the bed not expecting a reply. Gently placing the quilt back over me, he moves to the chair and sits in it. Placing his head on the armrest he keeps his head propped up as he tries to get some sleep.

I wish I had the courage to thank him for everything, for saving me, for protecting me, and for the simple things, like just. Leaving my bed because he knows i'm not comfortable, even though I know he wants to stay. Any other guy wouldn't have been so kind, yet somehow I can't work up the words to thank him, I just stare at him. Looking at the way his dirty blonde hair falls loosely over his forehead, how the muscles in his arms flex as he re adjusts himself. A few tears escape me as I watch the sleeping form of the boy with the bread wondering how someone so kind of heart had to be thrown into a life like this, it is much the same as Prim. And even though he fears me not talking to him I know that won't happen. Because since these games I've come to realise, though I don't love him, he is my friend. We have been through too much and we are are both different now, tainted by the Capitol.

Before I fall asleep I can't help but feel that everything I said to him in the arena was real. I need him.

So there it is, first chapter, what do you think? These first few chapters will be more of setting the scene as I have changed a few things and will introduce new memories and I know Katniss and Peeta also, comes across quite fragile in this chapter, but you need to think about what she has been through, she won't be as fragile in chapters to come, especially when she isn't with just Peeta. But for the moment she needs to clear her head and come to terms with everything that has happened. This chapter is also quite sad, but it won't all be, like life there will be lots of different emotions in this...

...so please keep reading and review, I am still in exams so my updates might not be very quick to start with but once my exams are done I will be able to focus on this more.

I'll see you in the next chapter When Katniss gets some visitors :)