A/N: written for challenge 28 on Every Fandom Fanfic Fest. Webpage: http:// .com/ everyfandomfest/ (take out spaces.)

Challenge was Ianto/Owen- Unprofessional.

Ianto- Italics.

Owen- Underlined.

Jack- Normal

Gwen- Bold.

Tosh- Bold and Italics.

Unprofessional

"Maybe your tie is too tight. It seems to be stopping the flow of normality to your head."

"Maybe you should take the stick out of your arse. Might leave some space for brains."

"You should stop cleaning so much. The chemicals are messing with your brain."

"Says the man whose job consists of standing up to his elbows in dead weevils."

"You can talk. All you do is make coffee and follow Our Great Leader around like a lost puppy."

"I don't follow him around."

"Yes you do. Yes sir, No sir, three bags fu- OW!!"

"Hahaha."

"That hurt. A lot."

"It was meant to."

"Why'd you throw it at me?"

"You're pissing me off and the stapler was handy. You do the same to me all the time."

"I have never, ever thrown the stapler at you. That could've cut open my forehead."

"You pretend to be a doctor. You can stitch it back together."

"What do you mean, I 'pretend' to be a doctor? I am a doctor."

"Where'd you get your degree, Doctors for dummies academy?"

"Hahaha!"

"Shut up Jack."

"Calm down. No need to get angry."

"Shut up Gwen."

"This is nothing to do with you."

"What are they even arguing about in the first place."

"Not a clue."

"I went to Oxford Uni actually."

"Really? How much did you pay for them to accept you."

"How many times did you have to shag Jack to get a job here?"

"I didn't have to actually. Just 'coz sex is your main source of income, doesn't make it mine."

"I beg to differ, Stripper Boy."

"I was seventeen. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Eighteen, Nineteen and Twenty too. You were a stripper for three years."

"LIAR!"

"Oh no. I'm being completely honest."

"Lies, lies, so many lies."

I wondered why you were so skilled."

"Fuck off Jack."

"Did you do the same for Lis- OW! AGAIN!"

"Too far Owen."

"Okay, fair enough. I deserved that one."

"Jack, please, please, please can you make them shut up."

"Alright, Enough's enough. If you're gunna kill each other, do it on the plass so you don't disturb us."

"Okay, come on Teaboy."

"Meet you up there. I need to get my coat."

"Oh yeah, can you pass me mine."

"Yep. Bye Jack, Gwen, Tosh."

"Bye guys."

They walked out.

They couldn't let the others realize they'd fallen in love. That'd be unprofessional.