.
Prologue (i): The Family
+ + + +
When Lucius Malfoy married, he did so to uphold his family's honor and reputation, which was the most that was expected from someone of his wealth and social status. But he also did it for love, because unexpectedly, he had grown to care for the woman who stood with him at the altar. She was agreeable to him in her habits and character. Moreover, she saw the side of his personality that he rarely showed to others, and not because he had purposely done so for her, out of a sense of duty or obligation. Rather, it was because she had looked for it herself and discovered it there, like a hidden treasure, while he had done the same for her. She had allowed him into her heart; Lucius, likewise, had allowed her into his, and they became friends. He did not think of her blood when he gave her his vows and slipped the ring onto her finger.
They were surrounded that day by a crowd of the noble and affluent, the families of the wizarding world who had kept close throughout the centuries by adhering to ancient customs. Weddings of their sort were always lavish, and were held when the newlyweds had come of age and secured a respectable position for themselves in society. From the onlookers' point of view, the pair was perfect. Cygnus and Druella Black breathed a sigh of relief to see their last daughter leave to start a proper life, her radiant happiness healing wounds from past troubles. Lucius's mother watched with her head tilted to the side, admiring the way the couple's light clothing made their faces glow. Lucius's father sat in his spot at the front row, arms crossed, musing that Lucius had been lucky to find another blonde like him.
The Malfoys had known that their son's marriage would be something like this one, a union that provided family gain and showed the pure-blood world a new alliance. They had searched over the years and asked questions, but in the end their son's gaze led them to Narcissa Black, the youngest of three daughters, the only one who was still unmarried.
...
At the first glance, there seemed little about Narcissa that one could call extraordinary. In some sense, it was a plight typical of that of a youngest child's. On her own, there were plenty of things that people admired about her: Her hair was soft and blonde, much like Lucius's himself, and her features held a beauty that was cool and gentle, much like her manner.
But when she stood in relation to her sisters, everything about Narcissa seemed to pale. First there was the passionate spirit of Bellatrix, the oldest, whose hair hung in rich, black waves and whose dark eyes held both nobility and ferocity. In school, she had quickly gained a reputation as a spitfire, who knew the nobility of the Black family and relished it, as one relishes in a bountiful feast, occasionally throwing around their food. Bella dueled with a stunning combination of power and glee, laughing while she danced around her enemy's hexes, then dealt the final blow with such decisiveness that the battle instantly ended with her victory. She could be set off by almost anything, and once she was in motion, the world seemed to bend to her will.
Andromeda Black was of a different sort. She was Bellatrix's near identical in appearance, but her regally-etched features were offset by a clarifying calm which both grounded and sharpened her. She was the ice to Bella's fire - she possessed a firm, cool authority, which grew prominent in later years when she became a prefect. She never doubted her goals, and pursued them with a dedication that bordered on ruthlessness.
But in addition to her drive, Andromeda possessed something that Bellatrix didn't: benevolence. That was why Narcissa had felt closest to her as a child. With Bella, playtime usually meant holding her figurines while she reorganized her shelves, hearing her yell "Mend it, you stupid!" whenever Narcissa dropped them. Her comb would always find a tangle in Narcissa's hair to yank, and any cut or bruise would first be treated with a scolding before she healed them. If Narcissa showed the slightest weakness or insecurity in front of her, Bella would pull it out and throw it back into her face. Once, Bella had let slip that Narcissa was an illegitimate daughter of the Selwyns and that the Blacks had adopted her out of pity, which explained why she looked so different from them. It was only weeks later, when Bella caught Narcissa heaving a trunk into the fireplace to set off in search for her real family, that she revealed the truth and sank to the floor in a fit of laughter.
But where Bella wounded, Anna healed. When Narcissa was a child, Anna had always been the one she could come to with a worry or an idea and receive a kind listening ear. She kept Narcissa's doodles amongst her masterful sketches and guided Narcissa's shaky hand to trace her perfect cursive. Long after Bella had run off in boredom, Anna would remain with Narcissa in the garden, sitting in the grass and talking away an evening. Narcissa loved to watch the stars and see Anna's slender hand trace the constellations.
"I was named after the galaxy Andromeda," she had once said. "According to Greek legend, she was the daughter of Cassiopeia, who considered herself to be more beautiful than anything in the universe. But the gods got angry at her vanity, and so they chained her daughter Andromeda to a cliff as a sacrifice. But before Andromeda could die, Perseus came to save her."
Narcissa, who was then nine years old, gazed up in wonder. "Is there a galaxy with my name up there too?"
Anna smiled. "No. Our parents named you after the narcissus bloom. It's very beautiful."
Despite her sister's praise, Narcissa felt something tick inside of her. It was a tradition in their family to name children after celestial bodies, one that, as far as she knew, was rarely broken. "But why did they name me after a flower?" she said.
Anna shrugged. "Because that's what you were to us. A beautiful bloom that never wilts. A flower is life in its gentlest and purest form. It breathes and emanates the energy it stores deep within, just like you."
With a wordless spell, she conjured a bloom out of thin air and handed it to Narcissa, who smiled. She loved watching Anna do magic. For some reason, it was different from way that Bella and her parents did it, which was choppy and nonchalant. Even in the simplest of tasks, Anna never seemed like she was controlling the objects around her to do her bidding, but rather bringing them to life, enticing them into motion by her presence.
Out of all her magical talents, the things Anna loved and knew the best were plants. The walls of her room were laced with flowering vines and her favorite gifts to friends were herbs and enchanted blooms. Even in her early years at Hogwarts, her bookshelves were already filled with encyclopedias and manuals. Oftentimes she took them down and showed Narcissa the pictures, pointing things out among the then-daunting paragraphs.
"Remember, Cissy, all life has a place," Anna would say. "Whether it's the biggest tree or the tiniest bug that lives in the earth, everything plays a role in keeping the world in harmony. All of it's important."
Anna's passions eventually steered her towards medicine, which she supplemented with her great skill in potionmaking. It was an unusual choice for their family, since the Blacks were mostly known for their spellcasting, but Andromeda's skill grew so pronounced that their parents hurried to approve.
But while Bellatrix pursued glory and power in her birthright, and Andromeda carved a path of her own, Narcissa remained like a petal in the wind, never quite finding a place to settle. By the time she started school, her sisters were in their third and fourth years and had left her weighty legacies. Anna had secured an apprenticeship with the school nurse and was taking advanced supplementary classes in Herbology. Bella was a member of the dueling club, where she knew the most advanced spells and held the longest winning streak.
Narcissa, however, didn't have any burning passions or prominent talents. The only thing she was willing to call a skill was that she could do reasonably well at anything she applied herself to, but this had always seemed more like a burden than a blessing. It often left her with a feeling of nonfulfillment, trying on one hand to learn everything she could, but at the same time feeling like she could never dig to the bottom of any of it.
She didn't compete to reach the top of her classes, fearing that it would only lead to embarrassment if she slipped up later on. Instead, Narcissa tried to befriend the people around her, figuring that even if she'd never live up to her sisters' success, she would at least be known for her kindness. At the same time, she kept her honor, steering clear of unwelcome types her parents had warned her about.
But the more time that passed, the more Narcissa noticed that the school seemed divided. Each House was like a solitary entity, with its own legends and traditions, which formed a bond between its members that transcended any friendship. Although everyone wore the same uniform, Narcissa was soon able to tell people of the Houses apart simply by how they behaved and who they stuck close to. If someone entered a study chamber filled with people they didn't know, they would sooner sit with people of their own House than others. If a Gryffindor had to choose between collaborating with a smart Slytherin next to them in Transfiguration class or saving a fellow Gryffindor from failing, they would do the latter. And no matter how the Sorting Hat had sung about the virtues of cooperation and companionship at the beginning of the year, once classes started, everyone seemed to forget about them.
About a month into the term, Narcissa's Potions instructor announced a special project: To brew a serum that would dye fabric. Fortunately, Andromeda was taking a class on magical herbs, so Narcissa asked her to lend her a library book she had been about to return. It was clearly meant for a higher-level student, but Narcissa quickly found the plant she had been looking for - a flower that could change its color to blend with its neighbors. Narcissa gathered some samples from Anna's stock and brought them to class, and instead of following the textbook's procedure, she followed one she had written up for herself. As a result, Narcissa managed to finish her brew earlier than anyone else and demonstrated to the professor a liquid that could dye any color one wanted. Little did she know, some of her classmates had caught on to what she had done. After class, she overheard a group of Ravenclaws talking.
"Looks like she had a fun time cheating, didn't she..." said a girl.
"She thinks she can bend the rules just because her name's Black; no doubt, that's where Slytherin's headed these days," a boy replied. "I heard that one of their great-uncles got a paper published that he basically copied off a classmate's notes. But the real students of Hogwarts will always be the ones who work."
Narcissa was too stunned to speak. She looked askance at the group, where the boy stood at the center, casting her a cautious glance. But before she could begin to think of a response, there was a rush of air as a tall figure stepped in front of her.
"And you would do better to remember the rules you cite before using them against other people," said a voice. "Outside readings are only forbidden if you copy from them. Now get to your next class, and if I ever hear you saying something like that again, I'll make sure your Head of House knows. Go on!"
The students broke apart, drifting off into separate directions. Moments later, a hand lowered itself onto Narcissa's shoulder and whisked her off to the side. Anna could be terrifying when she wanted, comforting when you needed it most. She pulled Narcissa to a vacant corner and sat down with her on some steps. Narcissa was shaking.
Andromeda put her hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Don't listen to him, Cissy."
Her voice was deep, soothing. Gently, Andromeda tilted her sister's chin up till their eyes were level. Even then, her gaze held a kind wisdom that transcended her years, and Narcissa found herself staring back, helpless in its power.
"Is… is it true?" Narcissa whispered. "Our great-uncle - did he really-"
Andromeda silenced her with a shake of the head. "I don't know. Cissy, it was almost a hundred years ago. It doesn't matter. What matters now is that you're here, you did honest work, and you deserve credit for it. There's nothing wrong with what you did. You used a text that was more advanced than what everyone else was reading and managed to make sense of it. You were creative and resourceful, like a true Slytherin. I'm proud." She smiled. "Promise me you won't be upset. If anyone bothers you again, just come to me and I'll handle it."
Narcissa shook her head, trying to steady her shakes. "No. It's all right, Anna, I'm fine... I am." But despite her willful focus, the tears were already spilling down her face. She bowed her head again and began to sob, cheeks burning with shame and anger. "Th-that… stupid Ravenclaw!" she blurted. "He already thinks I'm dishonest and he doesn't even know me! He says it's all because I'm a Black. What's wrong with that?"
Andromeda gave a shrug. "Some people have prejudices they can't let go of. They think that just because someone in a family did something bad, the deed trickles down to the children. Or if someone was noteworthy, then that blesses them for life. Same with the houses. It's true, some people in Slytherin were dishonest. They were cruel. But you can say the same about any of the others. None of those stigmas are true. You are your own person. You don't have to continue anybody's legacy; you can make yours. Remember that, okay?"
Narcissa wiped her cheek with her wrist and nodded. Andromeda gave her a pat and walked with her to her next class.
Narcissa's dismay did not abate, however. She thought over the incident, and finally she decided to return the Herbology book to the library and never do any extra research again. She found Bella reading at a table in the common room, for once not surrounded by a posse of upperclassmen. Tucking the book timidly against her chest, Narcissa approached. "Bella?"
Bella lifted her gaze from the book. "What, Cissy? I'm working."
"Do you know where the library is?"
Bellatrix scowled. "Go find it yourself! You're not at home anymore, you're at school. You can't honestly thing we're going to hold your hand and baby you for the rest of your life. Stop clinging to people and use your own brain, for once."
Narcissa stomped her foot. "Bella, I mean it! This is Anna's book and if I don't get it back for her on time, then the staff will yell at her!"
Bella let out a laugh. "Getting you to be her servant now, is she? Maybe you can try some cooking classes with the House-Elves next. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you join them someday!"
Narcissa's face reddened. "Fine! If you don't help me, then I'm never going to talk to you again. You're always mean to me and you do nothing but push me around! I hate you. And I hate this place. I'm going to go to the Sorting Hat right now and ask it to put me somewhere else, because I don't want to be in Slytherin with you anymore!" She slammed the book down onto the table and turned away, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Frowning, Bella stood up and pulled Narcissa's hands away from her face.
"What's the matter? What's wrong with you?"
Narcissa bowed her head. "I hate it here! People are stupid and mean!"
"Who's mean?" Bella pressed. "Is it me? Is it one of those first-years?"
"Yes!" Narcissa pushed away from her. "This stupid boy said I cheated and all I did was use a book to help me make a potion, but he said it was because I came from a wealthy family and that I thought I was better than everyone else. And now everyone's going to hate me!"
Bella drew back. "Who said that?"
Narcissa recounted what had happened through her sobs. She didn't dare look Bella in the face, expecting at any moment to be grabbed and verbally smacked. But when she mustered the courage to look up, she saw that Bella's eyes were wide with anger.
"And?" she said. "You hexed him, didn't you? Closed that filthy mouth of his on the spot for talking about our family?"
Narcissa swallowed. In the shadow of her sister's fury, she felt strangely shamed. "I… I…"
But Bella did not wait for her response. She grabbed Narcissa by the arm and pulled her out of the common room, forgetting all about the book and the work she was doing, shoving aside passersby who got in their way. She pulled some strings, asked around, and tracked the first-year boy down by the Quidditch pitch, where he was fooling around with a group of friends. Without preamble, Bella approached the group and held up her wand.
"I'll teach you to run your mouth, you maggot of a first-year!" she said. "Insulting my sister! Dishonoring our family!"
She uttered a hex, and seconds later, the boy stumbled back with a cry, red hives erupting on his skin. The other boys jumped away as he fell to the ground, arms and legs twitching as if struggling against some invisible force. Then suddenly he seemed to lose control and began to rock from side to side at an eerily rhythmic pace. Bellatrix was doing something strange with his body, moving the fingers of her free hand to make it go where she wanted. Narcissa watched in silence, torn between horror and awe. Several heads in the vicinity turned, and in almost no time at all, an entire crowd of onlookers had assembled around them, gasping and pointing as the boy rolled around in the grass.
All of a sudden, a scream pierced the tides of voices.
"BELLA, NO!"
Narcissa's blood chilled. She turned, just as Andromeda appeared from the top of a hill, her robes billowing as she descended towards them. When saw the boy, Anna's jaw dropped. "Have you lost it?" She snatched the wand from Bella's hand and ended the spell, turning to her in fury. "You think you're back in dueling club where you can just wave your wand like a stick and do whatever you please? This is borderline expulsion! What if a professor saw you?"
Bella returned her gaze with a sneer. "Let them see!" she said. "Let them see how a first-year learned his lesson. Let them come and lock me in the dungeons. But they'll never insult my sister!"
Andromeda looked down at Narcissa, her face marked with such shock and disbelief that Narcissa felt herself pale. Without a word, Anna turned away and rushed over to the boy. She knelt down beside him and said some soothing words, then cast a spell to make his body airborne. She whisked him off to the hospital wing, several other students following behind.
Bellatrix watched them leave indifferently, and when they had fled off into the distance, she crossed her arms. "That'll show him. Brat of a Ravenclaw. He'll know better than to mess with us now, right Cissy?"
Bella's manner was brute, direct. Normally, it was something Narcissa feared about her, but in that moment, it reached out to her with a surprisingly gentle touch, lifting a sadness that constricted her heart. For the first time, Narcissa felt weak with love for her oldest sister, a flood of gratitude that filled her with warmth. Her face broke into a smile.
"Thank you, Bella."
Bellatrix winked. She looped her arm around Narcissa's own and steered her back towards the castle. "Let's go, Cissy. We have more important things to attend to than these low-lifes."
Together they walked away from the scene, heads held high.
...
From that point on, Bellatrix became nicer. She still snapped at Narcissa every now and then when Narcissa asked a silly question or made an unbecoming blunder. But this time her smirks were goading, her jostles bracing. She took Narcissa into her company at meals and events, and soon, the sisters were rarely seen apart. At Bella's side, the world no longer seemed daunting or stifling. All the people and places Narcissa had once been too apprehensive to approach seemed to lay themselves out before her in splendid invitation.
Soon, Narcissa found herself surrounded by friends and gained contacts from almost every big family her parents talked about. Their connections were ones that transcended the Hogwarts Houses, because they were steeped in blood itself. And within their fold, Narcissa never again felt lost. She attended their parties, was drawn with them into professors' inner circles, and was enveloped in their community to such a degree that she stopped noticing all the other students that filled the castle, walking around like nameless space-fillers.
But for some reason, Andromeda never returned to her central place in the picture. She and Narcissa still spent time together at home and at school, and Anna still sent her enchanted cards for her birthday. But by the time Narcissa reached her fourth year, and Andromeda her sixth, she finally noticed how distant Anna had grown. She barely spoke at family meals and answered their parents' questions to the bare minimum. She spent increasing amounts of time alone, writing letters to people they didn't know. On the rare occasions that Bella managed to pull a few words from her, they were curt and unrevealing.
Marriage proposals came steadily during the summer before Anna's final year, promising faithful engagements before she finished school. But she turned a cold shoulder to them. Meanwhile, Bella married Rodolphus Lestrange, whom their parents had long been pointing out for her, and left the family house with honor. Blacks married young, so Anna's passivity struck Narcissa as odd. She was left wondering, for a while, if Anna's time would come at all.
In the end, it did.
One year later, Andromeda Black did choose a husband, but he was someone not of their order, someone such a far cry from their sphere of relations that even his name was outlandish to their ears. A Muggle-born, Ted Tonks.
The shock that descended upon the Black household came with the suddenness of a thunderclap. Druella threw dishes. Cygnus spent hours in his study with Andromeda, the door locked to contain his fury while he scolded her, tried to reason with her. But Andromeda would have none of it.
Though Narcissa was barred from these conversations, she still listened through the door, gleaning what information she could from her sister's shrill, passionate voice. Anna had met Ted in her fourth year, and they had become friends. He was a Gryffindor, but he was kind and fair to everyone, and had only one demand of a friend - that they never betray his trust. It didn't matter to him that Anna was a Slytherin. He didn't care for her wealth or her inherited glory. All he wanted from her was her love, and in return he would give her everything.
The voices of parents and daughter wracked the large, empty house for weeks. During that time, Narcissa got almost no sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed, wincing at every beat of footsteps that passed by her door, feeling her skin tingle as if the tension within the household had taken on a tangible form. Her parents used every tactic they knew of, calling to the nobility of the House of Black - toujours pur - and the loyalty that was demanded of every family member. Narcissa knew it. It had been imprinted on her since childhood, sewn into the very fabric of her life, and now her heart seemed to beat with the rhythm of those words, like a frantic bird trying to escape its cage. Keep the blood alive. Keep the blood alive.
But Andromeda was relentless. She had all of Bellatrix's power and emotion, but was using it against the family, which in her parent's eyes was as good as mutiny. And mutineers were thrown into the sea. The resolve with which they did it came to Narcissa like a slap in the face. Why didn't they care? Wasn't the girl who stood before them the same one they had cuddled as a child? The same girl whose white, slender hand rested on Narcissa's shoulder in their family portrait, who stood beside Bellatrix under her parents' proud, protective gazes? And yet here they were, fighting her, as if overcome by an ancient monster that slumbered deep in their souls.
Narcissa knew, in a sense, that their parents were in the right. Blood was a bond that couldn't be broken. What could a Muggle-born ever understand about their heritage? What more could his appreciation of magic amount to than a shallow wonder, when she and her family had been steeped in its traditions their entire lives? Families like the Blacks had worked for centuries to hone and preserve their abilities. And all the Muggle-born did was win a gamble of nature. Ted might have loved Andromeda for who she was as a person, but he'd never appreciate her for all the rest, because he'd never know. By marrying him, Anna was turning away from everything that had raised her, incorporating herself into a completely new fold - with someone whose relatives they'd never know, someone whose way of life was a complete mystery to them.
But even so, Narcissa wondered.
She watched how weeks of stress and scorn tore through her sister like a fire, stripping away her former temperance to leave a cold, irritable vestige of the person she used to be. Even in the rare moments when she and Narcissa were alone, Anna never quite managed to return the light to her eyes. They remained dreary and distant, and as the tension between her and their parents heated, Narcissa fearfully withdrew from her contact. She removed herself from the fray, shutting herself up in her room and waited for the three raging demons to abate.
Finally, one morning, Narcissa woke to the sounds of calm conversation in the drawing room. She crept over to the doorway, but instead of going in, she lowered herself to her knees and listened. At first, it seemed that Anna and their parents had finally found a ground for rapprochement. But what Andromeda said instead was worse than anything Narcissa had so far heard: The wedding had been planned, after which she would go to live with Ted in his new house.
Druella replied that she didn't have to worry about the wait. She could leave that very moment.
For a long while, the room was silent. Narcissa leaned as far forward as she could, so that she could see the fireplace and Andromeda standing before it. From Narcissa's position, neither Cygnus nor Druella could see her, but to Andromeda she was in plain sight, a tiny figure ducked beside the doorway, the light from the hallway just barely tracing her horror-stricken face.
The two of them locked eyes.
Narcissa didn't know what she felt as she looked at her sister's face. Anna, her rock, her helper, was leaving without so much as a backward glance, without even bothering to say goodbye to her. Narcissa bored her gaze into Andromeda's, willing with all her might that she'd stay, that she'd think it over, that she'd do it for Narcissa's own sake, even if for nothing else. But for all the effort Narcissa made to transmit the message, it seemed to dissipate in the air somewhere before it reached her sister. The dark eyes hardened, the momentary connection between them severed, and without a word, Anna stepped into the fireplace. She threw up a cloud of Floo Powder and disappeared in a burst of green flames, which cracked and hissed till they swallowed her completely.
As soon as her last embers dissipated in the air, Cygnus turned away and swore. Druella stormed right past Narcissa into the dining room, where the Black family tree was laid out on the wall in a fabulous mural, and blasted Anna's miniature from its place on the younger branches. The explosion rocked the house and rattled the walls. Narcissa turned away, eyes welling with tears, but she quickly suppressed them before her parents could notice.
Now, she was truly alone.
…
As with other blood-traitors in their family, Cygnus and Druella neither mentioned Andromeda after the incident, nor, likely, even thought about her. Her portraits and possessions were thrown from the house, along with all other traces of her presence, as if she had never been among them at all. From now on, Narcissa only had one sister. Bellatrix.
But long after her parents had moved on, Narcissa hadn't. In the months and years that followed, she still lingered in memories of the event, which spun round and round with stunning clarity in her restless mind. She thought of Andromeda's straight posture, her proud, resolute expression as she met her parents' gazes. She saw Anna's face, pictured the curves and contours she had known her entire life, and welled with a sudden, gnawing loathing for her sister. Because Narcissa had loved her.
Anna's friendship was pure and kind. She had been the only one who understood Narcissa's quiet nature, the only one who seemed to share that segment of her spirit that searched for beauty and joy in the world, which Narcissa herself could never explain. But with Anna gone, it was as if that part within her had died. The fact that Anna had chosen to leave, to choose a love that would break her away from her own family, tore something from Narcissa's heart, leaving behind a knot of confusion and sadness. And as much as she wanted to forget, as much as she wanted to follow her parents' example and let Andromeda go, she couldn't.
The blackened hole in the web of branches peered out at her like a malevolent eye, stilling her mind into penitent silence.
Keep the blood alive… Keep the blood alive...
…
The last years of Narcissa's girlhood went by quickly and quietly. She finished her seventh year at Hogwarts with the marks her parents expected of her, and for the next several months, drifted from travels to social gatherings. Then, in 1976, her parents informed her of Lucius Malfoy's proposal. Needless to say, they would give it their blessing. Lucius, as they told her, was a man of culture and pride. He had been a prefect at Hogwarts, always socially affluent, and earned people's favor not only through his name, but through skills and manners he had clearly been born with.
It was the marriage Narcissa needed, the one that would secure all the happiness and success her parents had implicitly promised her. But now that the moment was upon her, Narcissa was washed over by a feeling of happiness and relief, far different from the simple satisfaction she had associated with marriage in the past.
She agreed to the proposal without a moment's hesitation, and in the coming days, her joy seemed to carry her aloft above her parents, who busied themselves with the formalities of the engagement, preparing for the day she would officially meet her husband. Because Narcissa had already met him.
...
At first, Lucius Malfoy had been little more to her than a name. He had been one year above her at Hogwarts, a prefect, a perpetual symbol of an influential elite. No matter where or when Narcissa saw him, Lucius was always surrounded by a circle of people, discussing something lofty and important. He seemed to know everyone by name, down to the shyest first-years who had hardly been at the school for a week. Though Narcissa knew she was no less worthy of Lucius's attention than any other Slytherin girl, she couldn't ever imagine being close to him. Stoic intimidation appeared to be his nature, and he seemed slightly repulsive for it. But due to the relatively small community of the Slytherin House, there was no getting around the fact that everyone, at some point, had to know everyone.
Narcissa became aware of his attention to her in her fourth year, and it had made her uncomfortable at first. They seemed worlds apart, even opposites, and she was both puzzled and frightened that he should take interest in someone who had neither the same ambitions nor his fabulous record of triumphs. Behind the notoriety that came with her name, Narcissa was an average student, who took notes and read textbooks, wanting nothing more than to do her best in every class. She lingered at the fringes of social gatherings, calmly watching while her sisters burst forth into the spotlight. By all accounts, Lucius's eyes should have been on them, on the girls who could give him an advantage in his life.
But as time passed, Narcissa began to notice his eyes drift away from the shining center stage to find her, who had nothing to offer but her adequacy, and linger in puzzlement as if he had seen something he hadn't noticed before. And at the same time, Narcissa grew more attentive towards him, and she found herself hoping that, somewhere behind those deep grey eyes, there lurked a soul that could someday find room for her in its depths.
...
In Narcissa's fourth year, Lucius asked her to the Christmas dance, which was open only to seventh, sixth, and fifth years, and their escorts. It was the first time he had pointedly approached her alone. Before that, their interactions had taken place in public, even as they began to grow more aware of their mutual interest for each other.
That evening, the Great Hall was a wonderland of white and silver, chandeliers draped with crystals and flakes of snow drifting from the ceiling. The arches of the roof reached up and disappeared into an enchanted panorama of the winter sky. Narcissa and Lucius entered the crowd of people, greeting friends and professors, and once the necessary formalities were over, they took a side table to themselves and waited for the official dance to begin.
Having Lucius so close to her was both exciting and terrifying. They didn't speak much for the first few minutes, quietly drinking and smiling and occasionally glancing at the people around them.
Somewhere from the depths of the crowd emerged Andromeda, surrounded by a group of fellow sixth-years, like a jewel amid the snow. She wore a long, cream-colored dress that offset her dark brown curls, and made her look as if she were gliding rather than walking.
The group passed by their table, and Andromeda's eyes found Narcissa. She gave a smile, which Narcissa returned.
"Andromeda seems to keep good company with the prefects," Lucius commented, as Andromeda disappeared into the fold of dresses and suits. "She's with Sheldon Montague, Eleanor Reeves, Edward Tonks…" He narrowed his eyes to glimpse the people in Anna's company. Hardly any of them were Slytherins, much less in Narcissa's year, and so she barely recognized them. But Lucius seemed to know everything about them, from what they were notable for, even down to what school clubs they frequented.
Lucius began to recount stories, talking slightly faster than usual, though Narcissa captured his every word. When he finished, she gave an astounded sigh. "How do you know all of that?"
Lucius gave a flustered smile. "I don't know. I suppose I just… do." He shrugged. The gesture was so comical coming from him that Narcissa chuckled. "My father was the same as me. He looked for connections everywhere. He transferred from Durmstrang in his fourth year, and by the end of his second week at Hogwarts he already had letters of recommendation for advanced classes. He always said that a name can only get you half a reputation. The rest you have to make yourself."
Narcissa smiled. "I suppose that's true."
They fell into silence, and continued to watch as people appeared and disappeared in the plethora of faces. That was when Narcissa saw Bellatrix. She cut through the crowd in a dress of shimmering black, like a shard of night sky that had fallen to the earth. Out of all the colors in existence, black was the only one that framed the full scope of her beauty, melting with her hair and eyes, making her skin stand out almost pure white in contrast. When Bella's eyes landed on Narcissa and Lucius, they narrowed slightly and a sly smile crept up her lips. Narcissa lowered her head and blushed. From a look like that, she knew that there would be a lot of talk in the girls' dormitory that evening.
As Bella left, Narcissa lowered her head with a sheepish smile. "I must be the only fourth-year here," she said.
"Not true. Payton McLaggen brought his girlfriend and she's a fourth-year. He mentioned her in the Slug Club." Lucius smiled "At any rate, it's just a formality. If they had really banned fourth-years, I wouldn't have gone."
Narcissa's eyes widened. "Really?"
Lucius nodded, and she felt herself blush.
Soon, the music began to play, and couples began to step out onto the dance floor. Lucius rose from his chair and held out a hand to Narcissa, and together they went to join them. As always, the dances started off in a formal fashion, with slow, metered music. Students did their best to keep their rhythm without bumping into each other, making for an atmosphere of concentration, which was nevertheless broken by an occasional chuckle when someone slipped up.
Narcissa had taken dancing lessons when she was younger and could keep with the music fairly well, but she was surprised at the grace and ease with which Lucius moved. Whenever she felt like she was falling behind, he'd give her a hand, and they would regain their tempo like before. Throughout the dances, his face remained hardly a wand's length away from Narcissa's own, where it seemed like every emotion was transmitted with unusual, stunning intensity.
Among the flurry of spinning dresses, Narcissa caught occasional glimpses of her sisters. Andromeda was dancing with the Gryffindor boy who had escorted her, wearing the same expression of enchantment that Narcissa felt on herself. They seemed oblivious to what was going on around them, though the others in their midst were cheering and clapping. On the other side of the room, Bellatrix danced swiftly and elegantly, doing one song with one boy then switching for another, after which she bounced back to the refreshment tables and spent the rest of the time chatting. The joy of her sisters' presence, the beauty of the Great Hall, and the thrill of moving to the music all swam round in Narcissa's mind, throwing her into a trance through which she could perceive only beauty in her surroundings. She and Lucius danced for what felt like days, keeping strong till the lights had grown dim and the music slow.
At half past midnight, the Great Hall darkened, the sheet of white clouds dimming into a starry night sky. The music waned into long, deep notes of saxophone and piano. Gradually, the Hall began to empty, with only a few late-stayers lingering on the dance floor, finishing up a last song or conversation. By the time Narcissa had regained enough awareness to look around, she saw that she and Lucius were one of the few people left. After a brief sweep of the room, she caught glimpse of her sisters again, who she suddenly noticed were in close proximity for the first time that evening. Andromeda's escort had left to get drinks and Andromeda herself was walking in search for a place to sit, when she passed Bellatrix, who was leaning against the wall. Andromeda stopped. Bella said something to her, and Anna replied, which elicited a short, sharp conversation that ended with Anna walking away in a huff.
All of a sudden, the haze of wonder and delight seemed to dissipate. The starlight was no longer dazzling, the music no longer lulling. A tension rose in the air, which Narcissa could not explain or pinpoint, but it seemed to be somehow connected to Andromeda's stiff posture and the way Bellatrix's sneer turned into a cold look of enmity as she watched Anna leave.
The colors of reality flooded back in, and Narcissa turned back to Lucius, whom she had forgotten for the space of a second. No longer in a trance, she once again felt meek and nervous before him. "I… I want to leave," she said.
Lucius frowned. He seemed to notice the shadow that had fallen over her face, but Narcissa refused to say more. He looked over to the spot she had been staring at, where Bellatrix was still standing with her company. The group had closed into a tight circle and was discussing something in hushed voices. He turned back to Narcissa.
"All right, then. Let's go."
Narcissa felt him take her arm and whisk her out of the room. There were a few people scattered about the corridors, either gathering into groups or sneaking off to be alone. Lucius led her on till they were far out of sight, bringing her to an empty corridor where he waited for her to regain her composure. When she did, she lifted her head, and the minute she saw Lucius's concerned gaze, she rushed to apologize.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I just don't like it when my sisters fight."
Lucius nodded, and Narcissa relaxed when she saw he wasn't upset. Far to the contrary, his face had fallen back to the look of quiet admiration he had worn for most of the evening. "Then perhaps we can take a walk?"
He held out his hand, and a moment later, Narcissa took it.
They started on a long-winded route towards the Slytherin common room, passing arched windows that gave a glimpse of the moonlit grounds. The darkness stripped everything bare - the trees, the snowy grass, the frozen surface of the lake. Narcissa felt Lucius's hand clasping hers and met his gaze every so often, which made his face light with a smile. And suddenly, his titles and honors became like vague abstractions. His family, ancient and reputable, seemed far beyond the stretches of their world. She only sensed Lucius's presence beside her, and for one of a rare few moments in her life, she felt that it was one she wanted to keep by her side, something infinitely more valuable than anything an outside image could have given her.
...
Lucius was the only person Narcissa told about Andromeda's betrayal. The year that Anna left, Narcissa returned to Hogwarts for her sixth year, still dazed, still feeling as if she had been plunged into an alternate reality. She kept remembering that final look Anna had given her before stepping into the fireplace. It was a stare that said everything: hurt, betrayal. But nevertheless, pride. It was a stare Narcissa saw several times afterward in her dreams, in the time leading up to the start of the new term.
In those dreams, Andromeda would appear like a ghost from a black mist, dressed in the cream-colored dress she had worn to the Christmas ball. Only now the dress would be torn and ragged, covered in the dust of Floo Powder. Anna's eyes, tired and sunken, would suddenly light up as she flashed Bella's crazed smile.
"You let them do it, Cissy. You let them bury me. After all I did for you, you repay me with nothing - a shallow care for my sisterly love. But the ghosts you keep won't stay hidden forever. One day it'll all come back - I'll come back - and when I do, I'll make sure YOU take my place!"
And each time, Andromeda would lunge forward with her arm outstretched, fingers curling like claws, and each time Narcissa would pull away in disgust, narrowly escaping their grasp, and let her sister plummet through the darkness.
Once she returned to Hogwarts, Narcissa managed to distract herself with schoolwork, and the dream did not return. But her shaken state did not abate. She became wary of her housemates, wondering if any of them knew what had happened. Their passing stares seemed suspicious, their every question two-sided. Every time she saw someone looking at her, it seemed as if they could see Anna in her mind, and that charred spot on the family tree that had missed her picture by inches.
Lucius seemed to notice something was wrong, though Narcissa avoided the subject for months, before she finally couldn't hold it in any longer and confessed what had happened. Part of her still feared that mentioning Andromeda would summon her back like a ghost, rekindling her parents' fury, only this time directing it at her. Because however much they praised her constancy and good behavior, Narcissa had always felt that she had been putting on an act. However many pureblood names she recited when she mentioned a recent party, Narcissa had always felt that it could slip away at any moment, leaving her to drift off into a lonely, shameful existence.
Narcissa spoke until she had told Lucius everything, withholding only the shame and anger she felt inside herself. But Lucius figured out the rest on his own. And he reacted in a way she didn't expect.
He placed his hand on her shoulder and drew closer. "Anyone who would choose something over you or your happiness is a fool," he said quietly. "And if your sister failed to see that, then she is the biggest fool of all. But her life and her choices have no reflection on you. If she's gone, so be it." He fixed his gaze on hers. "Because I will never leave you."
And he didn't.
He remained at her side for the rest of the year, and slowly, Narcissa moved on. She found herself becoming more drawn to him than ever, but the feeling was tinged with sadness, because she knew that it would be the last year they would spend together. Summer was fast approaching, and Lucius was finishing his classes, writing farewell letters to professors, and tying up loose ends in his organizations.
Finally, on the last day of the term, Narcissa met Lucius in the Slytherin common room to leave for the Hogwarts Express. Having graduated, Lucius would move on to get a job and begin his independent life. He had already changed out of his school uniform and was dressed in crisp, businesslike attire. His long blond hair was tied behind his head, which made him seem older.
Narcissa, in contrast, felt silly with her Hogwarts robes, her girlish braid, and her cluttered trunk, containing remnants of a world which was starting to grow too heavy a burden for her. Her school years had gone well in almost every aspect: She had earned good marks, had gained a wealth of magical skill, and became known for her wit and grace. But she had done nothing spectacular, nothing noteworthy, and had failed to define a path for herself as her sisters had done. Instead of stretching her parents' boundaries, Narcissa lay complacently in their hands like a flower - admired, but nevertheless pruned. On occasions of endearment, they still referred to her as their 'blossom', that old favorite term they had used since her childhood. But as of late, Narcissa had started to despise it.
She and Lucius walked to the platform, joining the crowds of students at the fringes of the Hogsmeade station. Narcissa looked out at the hills that stretched beyond the platform's walls and took a deep breath of air.
"So, this is it." She looked over to Lucius, a smile twitching on her lips. "The common room is going to be awfully quiet without you."
"Not by much," Lucius said. "You'll still have the people in your year. And your cousin Regulus will be starting too, won't he? He might need your help finding classrooms."
Narcissa smiled. "I hear he's already excited to be in Slytherin."
"Just make sure you're not in the room when Severus and his friends try to test out new spells. And most importantly, if you need someone to study with, make sure he's not more handsome than me."
Narcissa tilted her head. "What makes you so sure I'm searching?"
Lucius chuckled. "Well, I can't say I won't worry… I know I'll think about it at least a few times at work."
"So, you already have your job?"
Lucius nodded. "I'm going to be one of the Minister's personal staff. Aside from his duties to the country, he has to make sure the Ministry itself is running smoothly. So he needs regular reports from each department, which will be managed by me and the other Junior Undersecretaries."
Narcissa smiled. "I wouldn't have expected any less from you."
Lucius gave a shrug. "It wasn't my first choice… I originally wanted to apply to the International Office of Law, but for some reason my father wanted me to become one of the Minister's staff instead. There was a specific department he requested for me."
"Which is it?"
To her surprise, Lucius lifted his eyebrows. "I don't know. All I know is that they accepted me last week… and sent me this." He pulled a small golden key from his pocket and placed it into Narcissa's hands. It was fairly heavy for its size, but it bore no special markings. After turning it over a few times, Narcissa handed it back.
"That's strange," she said. "Maybe it's for the Department of Mysteries?"
"I don't think so. If that happened, then they'd have sent me all sorts of forms and binding contracts making me swear to keep my secrecy. My letter didn't tell me anything other than that I was accepted and that I'm to report to the Main Atrium next Sunday."
Narcissa smiled. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure you'll do splendid."
The sounds of chugging grew louder in the distance, and Narcissa turned to see the Hogwarts Express appear from the hills. The gleaming train approached the platform and slowed to a stop, and the doors to the compartments slid open. She turned to Lucius. "I guess we should be going."
Her tone was calm, but still Lucius caught the trace of sadness behind it. "This doesn't have to be goodbye," he said. "I'll write to you. Every Junior Undersecretary has their own owl. Five days a week, I'll be sitting in London, filing claims, writing letters, thinking of you." He smiled. "It's not like I'll really be leaving. You'll still have me, just in words. And maybe after you finish school, you can come visit me."
Narcissa lowered her head. "I've thought about that. But my parents will probably get me some tutors to teach me more advanced magic. They've already started to make plans."
"Do you have something in mind for a career?"
"I don't know. They said I could become a good curse-blocker… but I think I'll just become a teacher. It might not be exactly what they want, but I suppose they'll be happy with it."
"They have every reason to be proud of you, Narcissa," said Lucius. "You're one of the brightest Slytherins. You can do anything you set your mind to."
Narcissa smiled. "But what's the use? My parents still get the last word. I know they want to help me make a good life, but I feel like they're only trying to keep me with them for as long as possible. And I know I can't leave them… They'll keep me here to finish my studies, then they'll find me a husband like they did for Bellatrix… and you'll be moving on, making your own life in that Ministry of yours." She looked up at him, finding his grey eyes, the last pair that still looked at her in patience and understanding, not scrutiny or possessiveness. "I'm glad for you, Lucius. But I don't think we'll be able to see each other. Our lives are going to be completely different, and I can't do anything to change it. I'm not like you… I - I'm not like my sisters."
She turned away, her gaze trailing downward.
But a moment later, she felt Lucius slowly take her hand. She looked up, and he enclosed it in both of his own, pressing it against his heart.
"No. You're not."
He waited till Narcissa's eyes were fixed on his before continuing. "You are not Andromeda or Bellatrix, and you shouldn't ever be. Whoever they were, whatever they did, it should be of no concern to you. You are more than what they were. And I am more than who my father is. We'll put them all behind us." He kissed her hand gently. "Marry me."
And so Narcissa said yes to Lucius before she had said yes to her parents. But the formal process, as he explained, would take longer. Before he officially proposed, Lucius would have to gain a footing in his new Ministry job and settle things with his parents. They had already begun to peruse the matter of his marriage, and when Lucius voiced his preferences to them, they would no doubt give their approval. And as soon as they did, he would send Narcissa a letter.
...
At last, Lucius arrived at the Black residence on the spring of 1976. He greeted Narcissa with a bow, then looked up at her with a smile.
He was accompanied by his parents, who Narcissa already knew were named Abraxas and Polymnia. Ploymnia was tall and slim, her dirty-blond hair tied neatly to the side. One of the strands near the front was colored a dark brown, adding a touch of well-mannered eccentricity. But the person from whom Lucius had inherited most of his looks was unquestionably his father. Abraxas stood half a head above his wife, with the same pale blond hair and hardness of expression as his son.
His manner was, if possible, even more refined. After shaking hands with Cygnus and bowing to Druella, he extended a hand to Narcissa and gently brushed his thumb across her fingers.
"Lovely. I must confess, had we known such a beautiful, mannered girl was already the object of our son's interest, we would have acted immediately. From what Lucius has told us, I profess that there would have been no better match."
Narcissa's parents agreed. Cygnus and Druella got along well with the Malfoys, and before long it seemed like they had been close friends for their entire lives.
The Malfoys would come to visit frequently in the subsequent weeks while preparations were made at their manor for the wedding. Narcissa often passed by her father's study to hear Cygnus and Abraxas talking over drinks. For some reason, the thing she best remembered Abraxas saying, in his simpering, lighthearted tone, was: "Oh, yes, it is indeed imperative that one knows their history!" This would be broken by loud laughter and the clink of goblets.
Indeed, both men did know their history, for they always seemed to be debating some fine philosophical point or recounting old family tales. Meanwhile, Lucius would show her photographs of his family and home, and the more Narcissa learned about them, the more she felt like she was tapping at the surface of something vast and intricate, with more mysteries than explanations.
At last, at the end of the month, the work at the Malfoy Manor was finished and the three Malfoys paid their final visit. Polymnia gave Narcissa a blue stone pendant that matched her eyes and Abraxas stood her and Lucius shoulder-to-shoulder, stepping back to observe them.
"Splendid! Exemplary! Of course, Cygnus, they will have to rehearse some things before the ceremony, but I believe everything at the Manor is in order and ready to go. Now!" Abraxas swept his arm towards the fireplace. "I invite you all to take your first look at our residence. Come!"
From all that Lucius had told her, Narcissa knew that Abraxas was a man who knew what he wanted. He never held a steady job as Lucius did now, but rather frequented the social scene with his wife like an old decoration, the centerpiece to an elaborate feast table, which everyone had grown so used to seeing that they overlooked its deciding power. Throughout their lives, he and Polymnia had played the roles that benefitted them, which led many to question their true motives, and indeed, whether or not they knew their own motives themselves. But at the same time, beneath that sly smile, Narcissa often saw a hardness of resolve in Abraxas's eyes, an intention or purpose that was clear to no one but himself, his sole constant, the answer to everything.
...
Six years later, that same man would be dying in bed of dragon pox, in a dark room of his distant house. Narcissa and Lucius would arrive, dismissing all the doctors once they said there was nothing more they could do. Lucius kept walking in and out of the room, but Narcissa remained stuck to her chair, not taking her eyes off of the sick man. And in his feverish daze, Abraxas would reach out blindly to her and open his hand, revealing an empty palm, but for some reason Narcissa would find herself unable to pull away her gaze, absurdly expecting to find something clutched there.
"Lucius…"
Narcissa froze. Abraxas thought he was speaking to his son. She turned to the door, wanting to call Lucius over, but right then Abraxas gave a loud cough, and she turned back.
"If you would please," Abraxas continued. "The key."
Narcissa's breath caught in her throat.
"You have it now… Take me there… Show it to me!"
The door creaked as Lucius entered, hurriedly coming to Narcissa's side. He had missed Abraxas's final words by seconds. Moments later, Abraxas began to cough louder than ever, until his energy had drained and his head fell back onto the pillow. His hand went limp over the side of the bed, and several minutes later, he went still. Abraxas's request had died with him.
Gasping and trembling, Narcissa would relay what he had said, and Lucius would comfort her, saying that Abraxas had been raving and that his words meant nothing. But Lucius didn't seem to wholly believe himself.
...
The opinion Narcissa would hold then, at twenty-seven, was much the same as the one she held now, at twenty-one: There was something more to the Malfoys than met the eye. Perhaps they weren't aware of it themselves. But Narcissa had seen it the moment they appeared together - Lucius, Abraxas, and Polymnia - all standing with their lazy haughtiness, facing her straight-backed parents, who were proud and traditional, yet plain for all to see.
She saw it most of all in Lucius, in that focused, contemplative way he could look at someone, and in the way that his emotions sometimes glimmered out from his face without him realizing it. In the sum of those moments, she had seen in him a kindred soul, someone she loved more than the faceless set of descriptions her parents had recited.
And so, at the altar, as she prepared to say her vows, Narcissa wasn't thinking of Lucius's parents, or of hers. She wasn't thinking about her friends or her sisters, but only about him, and the proper, peaceful life they would lead. And that, she supposed, was all she ever wanted.
...
In the weeks following the wedding, Lucius took complete ownership of the Malfoy Manor from his parents, who left a few final gifts before departing. The regal mansion was once again humbled by the presence of a young family, which filled its ancient walls with the warmth of new life. Lucius made some renovations for comfort and convenience. Narcissa's touch added a softness that balanced the elegant furnishings, gracing them with some of her old possessions and pictures. She melded her identity with the backdrop of his, and together they made it their home.
On Lucius's part, he had fulfilled his father's ambition. He had made a good marriage, had secured a respectable career, and was on his way writing the next chapter of the Malfoy family. It had been what he had intended to do all along, the goal he had pursued since childhood. He hadn't wanted to simply please his father, but to surpass him, and transcend society's stale expectations of him.
But something had happened in the process that he didn't expect. Lucius had found the embodiment of those dreams in a person he truly cared for, one who completed some unfinished puzzle in his heart. There was nobody else in the world he would rather have at his side, no one he would rather lay down his life to protect.
To Narcissa, her new home became her haven. It was a place she felt she belonged in, one where she could finally be free from the weight of her past. She was building a new future now, together with someone she truly loved. Nothing, she decided, would ever tear them apart.
...
Narcissa was at peace.
For a while, it lasted.
Until the day came when the world they built came crashing over their shoulders and brought the proud family to its knees, shattering the remnants of their legacy and leaving them dangling by a thread over the inferno of their own destruction.
…
And Anna returned.
But not in the way Narcissa had thought she would.