Author's notes: Sooooo... I'm not dead, hehe. Hi guys.
I'm so sorry for my complete and utter inactivity. I don't know what got into me, but fanfics and writing ideas no longer come so fluidly. I've been working on this piece for a few months – to streamline it, make it longer etc... I hope it's up to par with my past standards, and that readers enjoy. Thank you for reading!
Some days, GoGo Tomago would like to crash from the exhaustion of the University workload. Most days, she tries to sustain herself with a cup of coffee.
Today, she's a frazzled mess after oversleeping. Not to mention very pissed off, because she hates waiting and the queue is longer than Fred's face when he found out his favorite superhero comic's all sold out. But it's finally her turn and oh god if she can get her caffeine fix right now, she just might be in time to meet Honey Lemon at the Nerd Lab.
GoGo orders a Pike Place Roast coffee, and is two sips in – almost starting to feel better – when someone walks into her. She stumbles, but the person nearly trips, and in an uncharacteristic manner of concern, GoGo reaches her hand out to steady the falling passerby, dropping her drink in the process.
The sound of the paper rim smacking into the ground and the sight of rich dark liquid spilling everywhere seals GoGo's mental decision that today is a horrible day.
"I'm so sorry," the person who bumped into her – a tall man of decent build, with a black cap and a soft green cardigan – apologises profusely. "I wasn't– I didn't mean– I"ll get you another–"
"Save it." GoGo answers flatly. On a good day, she might leave him with an icy glare. On a bad day, she might actually slug him in the face. But his expression of sheer anxiety and horror is enough to dissuade her from doing either. She'll just have to chalk the accident off as her own rotten luck. "Accidents happen, and I'm late for my appointment." Plus, breaking her alarm clock instead of hitting the snooze button as intended has left her barely enough time to get to the lab now – much less spend time venting her frustrations on a stranger.
Still, GoGo feels her heart sink at her discarded grande cup. She'd be lying if she claimed lining up for another wasn't on her mind; but a quick look at her watch tells her she's already five minutes late to meet Honey Lemon before lessons begin. She's going to have to rush.
Almost on cue, GoGo's phone rings. She draws it out of her pocket swiftly and squints at the caller ID. It's Honey Lemon. GoGo winces, wondering if she'd gotten there early, spotted no adrenaline-junkie, and ended up worrying.
"Hello?"
"Morning, GoGo! Just checking if we're still on for today–"
"Yea, we are. Sorry for being late. I was buying coffee and the line was longer than usual. But I ran into a guy and spilled it, so–"
"Is he cute?"
"… What?!" Her tone of incredulity is enough to draw curious looks from a few passers-by. GoGo frowns, ignores them, and continues her conversation. "Honey–"
"C'mon, GoGo!" Honey Lemon beseeches. "Think about it! Running into a guy at Starbucks and spilling your coffee? It's a sign of fate! He'll probably offer to buy you a drink, you'll begin a conversation along the line, the both of you will hit it off beautifully, and eventually, you'll start da–"
"Enough." GoGo cuts her best friend off before her mind can wander any further through her lurid and delusional fantasies. "I'm going over to the lab right now."
"You don't have to hurry," Honey Lemon changes tact and says soothingly, her voice like a balm to her frazzled state. "We still have time, and I'm neither eager nor urgent to meet a caffeine-deprived GoGo." It's said half-jokingly, but for the first time, GoGo starts mulling over her words. Caffeine-deprived GoGo is definitely not a pretty sight. She vaguely remembers nearly giving Fred a black eye the last time she met the group – after skipping her routine morning coffee.
"So do yourself a favour, let the nice man buy you another cup, and I'll see you later during Callaghan's free lecture. Bye!" Honey Lemon hangs up before GoGo can protest.
Sighing softly, GoGo runs a hand across her short, tousled hair and moves to stand in line. Honey Lemon evidently doesn't expect to meet her anymore, and GoGo decides she might be doing them both a favor if she did as she was told.
Suddenly, someone appears right next to her. At closer observation, GoGo spots the familiar black cap and realises it is the person who walked into her before.
"Erm, hi," he half-whispers, a sheepish grin on his face. "I'm sorry about making you spill your coffee just now. I was distracted. Can I… Can I buy you another cup?" He's practically stammering in nervousness, but the sincerity in his eyes – a warm, chocolate brown (Dammit, GoGo curses mentally. After Honey Lemon's comment, she's actually starting to pay attention to his appearance) – is enough to convince GoGo to give him a chance. That, plus the fact that she just realised she might not have enough for another cup of coffee (She likes Starbucks coffee and all, but it really burns a hole in her already thin wallet).
"… Fine." She feels awkward accepting his offer, but the relieved smile that lights up his face eases her discomfort a little. Until he starts asking questions.
"Are you from around here?" It is purely conversational, GoGo is sure. But she still feels a sense of unease as she answers. She's not used to making small talk. She never had any people to talk to (save Honey Lemon, who babbled so much about the wonders of science when they first met, that it didn't really count as small talk when she thinks back about it).
"Not… really. Moved here a few months ago. Makes it more convenient to attend the San Fransokyo Institute–"
"– of Technology!" Baseball Cap (What? He hasn't volunteered his name and she's not going to be the one who asks. He might think she's interested in him. And she's not. Pronto.) finishes for her, beaming. "So am I! I'll be attending it soon. Today, in fact."
Okay, now she's just a bit interested.
"What invention did you show at exhibit to get accepted into the University?" Usually, when people ask, there's a faintly competitive edge to their voice, like they're already trying to size up any potential competitors. But when Baseball Cap pops the question, all GoGo hears is genuine curiosity, and that, coupled with the excitement brimming almost childishly in his eyes, makes her think he's (possibly) the second nicest person she's ever met. (Although, given that she's not met a lot, she supposes that comparison falls a little flat.)
"A bike with electro-magnetic wheels," GoGo shrugs, thinking she should elaborate more. "Zero resistance, faster bike. But not fast enough… yet." Despite herself, her lips curve into a small triumphant smile at her last words. When she looks up, Baseball Cap's staring at her in awe.
"Wow…" he mumbles, removing his cap to reveal a head of dark hair. "That sounds cool. And… really advanced."
"Think I can't do it?" GoGo quips, one hand poised on her hip challengingly. Baseball Cap shakes his head hastily.
"No, I think you can do anything you set your mind to." GoGo blinks. If she didn't know any better, she'd think that was a compliment. "It's just… I got in because of a nursing-bot. It was my first prototype, full of flaws; but Professor Callaghan saw the potential it had and accepted me." He grins, and it is so sudden, so bright, that GoGo's slightly taken aback. There's a fierce determination behind his eyes, one that spoke of loss, insecurities and passion – all of equal intensity. "That's why, no matter how hard I have to work, or how many test-runs I have to make, I'm not wasting this chance. Not ever."
GoGo's never been that good a judge of character. She never put too much effort into other people. But this person, with his smooth dark hair, warm brown eyes, startlingly bright smile and quiet determination, is unusually intriguing.
"May I take your order?"
The barista's voice breaks her out of her train of thought. GoGo feels her cheeks flushing dully, for being so caught up with a guy (not in that way, mind anyone) that she's just met. She'll probably never see him again after today, given how they'll probably be lost among the sea of students flooding the University. There's no point in exchanging so much information about each other. When Baseball Cap looks at her quizzically, and GoGo hastily puts in her order.
"One Pike Place Roast coffee."
"Names?"
"Tadashi Hamada," Baseball Cap volunteers confidently. GoGo rolls her eyes a little and tries not to smile. She finally has a name to pin onto the pretty face.
"GoGo Tomago," she grunts, when the barista turns to her politely. Almost immediately, Tadashi's eyes gravitate towards her.
"It's an unfortunate nickname," GoGo explains flatly, "Involving my need for speed and my favourite food." She's not embarrassed; not exactly, but she half-expects Tadashi to reply with an awkward grin, take his cup of coffee, then hightail it out of the crowded cafe – to escape from the strange girl with the weird appearance, weird personality and even weirder name.
Instead, Tadashi grins, and the smile softens his eyes. Instead, he says, "Nice to meet you, GoGo."
"We're meeting someone new today!" Honey Lemon beams cheerfully. GoGo rolls her eyes at her friend's pathetic attempt to widen her social circle (which is currently the circumference of her pinky). She's never been a people person, and she thinks that the fact that she actually befriended Honey Lemon, Wasabi and Fred is enough of a social miracle to last her her whole life.
"If that 'someone new' is anything like Fred..." GoGo warns, because one Fred is already testing the limits of her patience, but two? Two's pushing it.
Honey Lemon only shakes her head with a bubbly grin. Then, before GoGo can run through any loopholes in her statement that might have somehow been exploited, Honey's beckoning someone over with a sweeping wave.
"Over here!" She calls out, and as GoGo turns to appraise the newcomer, already prepared to be critical, her jaw drops open. It's Tadashi Hamada.
"Hi, Tadashi," Honey Lemon greets enthusiastically. "This is my friend Ethel-Leiko-Tanaka, but if you call her that she'll probably sock you in the face–" GoGo glares at her because that was just one time– "So please stick to GoGo instead." She's rambling at full speed (and GoGo would like to point out that several parts of her introduction counts as unnecessary information) but Tadashi's staring at GoGo with a dawning recognition in his eyes.
"It's you," he blurts out, and GoGo snorts at his belated reaction. She caught on the moment she saw that annoying black baseball cap.
"Knocked over anyone today?" She asks drily, only realising that she might be coming off a little rude after the words have left her mouth. It's an unfortunate bad habit of hers to only consider her words after she has spoken them, and she feels a twinge of guilt when she sees Tadashi's eyes widen in surprise.
But Tadashi only grins – that frustrating, boyish grin that keeps catching her off guard – and replies in a deliberately off-hand manner.
"Maybe?"
"I didn't know the both of you knew each other," Honey Lemon exclaims, her eyes saucer-wide with curiosity and interest.
"He's the one who caused me to spill my coffee the other day," GoGo admits idly as she settles back into her seat. Then she sees the sudden spark in Honey Lemon's eye and makes the quick and sensible decision that staying in her precinct is a very bad idea.
"Want to grab some coffee?" Tadashi asks at the moment. GoGo nods distractedly, all the while regarding the thoughtful look on Honey Lemon's face with the wariness of a hunter.
She gets her usual Pike Place Roast coffee and says nothing at Tadashi's Caramel Macchiato Frappucino. The caramel drizzle looks like it belongs to a younger girl with an exuberant sweet tooth, but she supposes it's telling of the calm and laid-back persona he exudes.
Tadashi almost pays for her, but GoGo scowls and presses the money into his palm.
"I don't like owing people things," she tells him flatly, "And I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own drink." Just because she isn't financially supported by her parents doesn't mean she's poor (not homeless-poor at least, just takeout-for-five-out-of-seven-days-in-the-week-poor), and that topic has always been a mildly sore spot after some idiot in school made fun of her dismally thin wallet at one point of time. (She'd gotten detention for punching him – but it'd been worth it, even though it incurred a half and hour lecture from Wasabi and a scandalised look from Honey.)
Tadashi just smiles.
"Actually, I was thinking that if I bought you coffee this time round, you might treat me for the next time," he jokes, taking a sip of his drink. GoGo raises her eyebrows at him as she removes the lid of her cup.
"What makes you think there will be a next time?" For all GoGo knows, talking and having coffee with Tadashi could easily be a meeting that coincidentally occurred. Albeit twice.
"We're friends now, aren't we?" Tadashi looks puzzled. "Doesn't that mean there will be a next time?"
GoGo rarely makes friends. It had taken her one month to tolerate Fred, three weeks to accept Wasabi, and at least two weeks to begrudgingly befriend Honey Lemon. She's not one to call a stranger she's only met twice a friend.
But when she looks into Tadashi's warm brown eyes, she doesn't think to correct him for some reason.
"You seem down."
GoGo snaps her head up and squints at the tall figure in front of her desk. Her hair is even more tousled than usual, and she's pretty sure she has bald spots at where she clutched her head in frustration just now. Her eyes are gritty and bleary, her mind is a sluggish mess, and the blueprints laid in front of her have been crumpled more than once.
"It's nothing."
The look of disbelief he shoots her makes her realise how implausible she sounds.
"Remember when I told you about my project?" GoGo mumbles, her voice hoarse. She sighs and props her hand on the table before resting her cheek on it. She's too tired to pretend that she's fine and that everything is going well, because it's not, everything's not, and she doesn't know what to do.
Tadashi nods cautiously. "Electromagnetic wheels, right?"
GoGo feels a little pleased (and more than a little stupid) at the fact that he remembers, but that feeling of goodwill is swiftly crushed when she recalls her recent lack of improvement. "I thought I was making good progress recently," she mutters, chewing wanly at her stale stick of gum. "But recently, everything I built keeps falling apart." GoGo can't help casting the recycling bin lying nearby her desk a baleful look. It's filled to the brim with damaged discs, dissected discs, and discs that were just too structurally weak to support anything.
Part of her can't believe she's admitting all this to a friend-she-still-doesn't-know-that-well-yet. Part of her wonders if it's because it's Tadashi Hamada. The rest of her is too tired to care. She's been drilling at her project for a week, and while she hates to admit it, the increasing series of failures is starting to take a toll on her.
"Maybe you need a break."
"What?" GoGo looks up again, her eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. "Are you kidding? I'm barely on time – Heck, I'm behind time. I can't afford a break!" It's only when Tadashi remains silent that GoGo realises her tone has grown increasingly agitated.
She hesitates. "Sorry." GoGo rarely apologises, if ever, but even she has to admit that her temper is growing unbearable, and that her patience is now officially even shorter than her (which was abysmally short to begin with, not that she likes it to be pointed out).
"See?" Tadashi's cheerful voice is a sharp contrast to what she's currently feeling, but GoGo can't help feeling a little relieved that he's not angry. And a tad guilty, which she hurriedly quashes.
"You're on edge – you've been at it for too long. If you get too absorbed with your failures, you won't be able to see the big picture and realise the problem. That's why breaks are good." Suddenly, Tadashi smiles, and this time, it is equal parts gentle and soothing. "It helps you look at things from a different angle."
A sober silence breaks between the both of them as GoGo digests his words slowly. She's never received – nor asked for – advice like that before. Growing up in a shattered family has taught her to find solutions on her own, and that's what she's been struggling to do ever since she embarked on this increasingly difficult project.
"Th–" GoGo's about to whisper a thank you to Tadashi (an apology and a thank you in a single day, to someone that's not Honey Lemon? She thinks it's a miracle), because, well, he did help her after all, even if she didn't exactly ask for it. But when GoGo looks up, Tadashi's leaning down a little to talk to her, and her immediate thought is that he smells of fabric softener and chocolate and he's sitting way too close and–
"Want to grab some coffee?"
"… It's four in the afternoon, Hamada." She chalks up her thoughts to a moment of irrationality – one born out of sleep deprivation and stress – and promptly banishes it.
He laughs and his eyes soften in that stupidly charming way. "There's always time for caffeine. C'mon, my treat?"
GoGo rolls her eyes and punches his shoulder when she gets out of the chair. But as they walk to the nearby Starbucks, talking aimlessly about the recent happenings of the Nerd Lab, she thinks she could get used to grabbing coffee with Tadashi Hamada.
"You look like someone ate your cat."
While GoGo is aware that it is not the best conversation starter (or even a good one) for a Wednesday morning, it's not an entirely inaccurate depiction of Tadashi's slumped shoulders and sad eyes, either.
"It's..." Tadashi hesitates, his usual placid and cheerful demeanor replaced by a worried frown. He runs a hand through his hair – a habit when he loses his composure, GoGo's starting to learn – and she thinks it makes him look tired and older than he actually should be.
It reminds her a little of what she looked like, aged twelve, when she went home to a house full of broken furniture and screams that never seemed to stop. Her gut tells her it's a family problem.
"It's my brother." GoGo thinks she should feel smug for being right, but that correct guess isn't something she's happy about.
"Hiro?"
Tadashi stares at her. "How do you know his name?"
GoGo shrugs casually, trying to cover up her awkwardness. "You told us the last time." She doesn't add that she found his concern for his younger brother too endearing to forget. Partially because she's never met anyone who cared so much for their family before.
"Oh, I did." He pauses, the look of surprise refusing to leave his face. "I guess I didn't expect you to remember."
GoGo's eye twitches in annoyance. "I'm fully capable of listening to something that isn't Wasabi's ten minute lecture on safety. Besides," she clears her throat and fights the flush creeping up her neck. "I thought it was swe– nice, I mean, that you cared so much."
Tadashi gives her a half-smile in reply. He doesn't say anything for a while, and just as GoGo is starting to feel the discomfort of the silence prickle her skin, Tadashi blurts something out.
"He's been getting into bot fights."
GoGo blinks. "Hiro?"
Tadashi nods, and for a while, GoGo thinks about how the frown on his face is a remarkably unfamiliar expression. "He got into one last night and… and he got hurt. Not as bad as I expected but…" Tadashi trails off, and every vibe of his body radiates worry. Worry for the next time Hiro repeats the same act – and Tadashi's not there to help him.
"I feel like if I've been a better brother... A better role model, he might not have strayed into this business." He bites his lip in anxiety as he fiddles with the cap in his hands, and GoGo can't help but fall silent when she sees the concern burning so clearly in his eyes.
"Look Hamada," GoGo clears her throat, I know you're a great brother. You care for Hiro, do your best to spend time with him, and you love him. I think for someone so busy with university stuff and everything... That's pretty impressive." She tries not to squirm under the weight of Tadashi's surprised gaze.
"A– Anyway," GoGo clears her throat, trying to mask her discomfort. "He likes science, doesn't he? Then why don't you bring him over and let him see what all of us are working on? That ought to keep your genius brother busy and out of trouble for a while..." GoGo pauses when Tadashi stares numbly at her, and she tries to fight off the wave of embarrassment when she realises how implausible her idea is. "Sorry, that's a bad idea; never mind I said that–"
"Y'know," Tadashi interrupts her slowly, suddenly thoughtful. "That actually could work. The next exhibition is in about two months, maybe I can find an opportunity to trick him here..." A small ray of hope starts to light his eyes. His lips creep slowly into a small smile. GoGo heaves a quiet sigh of relief. He's finally perking up again.
"C'mon," GoGo says decisively, popping her last bubble and spitting the bubblegum into the trash. "Coffee on me." Not that she wanted to repay him for the last time he helped her or anything. She... just happens to be craving coffee. Even though she usually only gets coffee in the morning before lessons. (GoGo swears Tadashi is messing up her coffee schedule.)
"But you've already helped me with so much," Tadashi starts to protest, even though GoGo's already turning towards the exit. "I can't let you–"
GoGo shoots him a glare that means business. "You treated last time. Just repaying the favour." Okay, maybe part of her did feel that way. A small part.
Just as Tadashi opens his mouth again to convince her otherwise, GoGo takes a step back and plants her feet solidly in front of him. They're literally inches apart, and she can see all the shades of awe in his stupidly warm eyes as she glares up at him, arms crossed in an unyielding stance.
"Look," she enunciates for clarity, wondering why her heart is beating so fast for no corporeal reason. "You've already spent close to an entire day stuck here moping about your brother. You need some caffeine. I'm getting you some. No arguments. Are we clear?" With that, GoGo pivots on her foot and marches out of the lab.
She can hear Tadashi mutter "unbelievable" under his breath as he follows suit, and she allows herself a small smirk of victory. However, said victory is promptly ripped away from her hands when Tadashi hurries to match her pace and cheerfully ruffles her hair when he's right next to her. GoGo swats his hand and lets out an indignant noise at her now messy hair.
"Thanks, GoGo."
GoGo fights the flush in her cheeks and the ridiculous thumping of her heart, and rolls her eyes. But it is there and then that she decides; grabbing coffee with Tadashi Hamada isn't so bad at all.
Something is different about Tadashi Hamada today. One, he hasn't smiled at all for the entire day. Two, he didn't pass by her corner in the lab to say hello (not that she was looking forward to it. It's just an occasional thing that became routine after some time; courtesy of her habit to bury herself in work and Tadashi's conviction that she should talk more). Three, she's never seen him look so broken – not even over the 'Hiro incident' last month.
GoGo trails over to Tadashi's room in the lab, hesitating as she looks in. He's sitting on the floor, fiddling with his cap again. There's something about the somber note on his face that makes her falter. GoGo turns her head. Honey Lemon's gesturing frantically at her, mouthing the words 'Go in', Fred is gesticulating wildly about how Tadashi's probably possessed by some evil villain and Wasabi just looks worried. GoGo sighs and enters the room. She's not the only one worried about Tadashi.
"Hey," GoGo mumbles, sliding in and shutting the door behind her. Her voice comes out wrong – all accusing and suspicious. She needs to work on that. GoGo coughs and tries again, despite the very evident fact that she has no idea how to sound concerned.
"You... You okay?" Her words and voice sound feeble in the room, which she casts a sweeping glance. She spies Baymax slumped against the wall, inactive and lifeless – almost like his creator.
"I'm fine." Tadashi gives a brittle smile.
"No, you're not." Tadashi glances at GoGo in astonishment, but she refuses to back down.
"Tell me what's wrong. I'm– Everyone's worried about you."
She can see Tadashi hesitate – it's visible in how his fists tighten over the cap he's holding before they slacken again, and he sighs quietly for the umpteenth time.
"It's my parents' death anniversary."
Oh. Everything is starting to click into place. The miserable look on his face; how painfully dull his eyes are; how pain flitted across his face when he tried to activate Baymax today – only to see a reflection of what he has lost, what made him go through the tedious process of creating a nursing robot in the first place.
"Hiro... doesn't remember much. He was so young when it happened. I was– I was young too. But not young enough to forget." His eyes darken and GoGo fights a shiver. Tadashi stops talking at this point, and she desperately hunts for something adequate to comfort him. But pretty words and philosophical sentiment won't lighten the weight of loss in any way; she knows. There's nothing she can say to make him feel better.
GoGo looks down again and sees Tadashi's downcast expression. She says the first thing that comes to her mind.
"Want to grab some coffee?"
She closes her eyes, rolls them behind her eyelids, mutters something uncannily close to a swear word and digs her nails into her palm because really? Her friend's drowning in the sorrow of losing his parents and her suggestion is to get coffee?
Tadashi stares at her, and she bites her lip nervously, struggling to come up with something else to say.
"Yea. Let's go."
GoGo's surprised, but she doesn't let it show. They walk to the nearby cafe in silence (the rest of the Nerd Lab's occupants shooting them bemused looks) and thankfully, the queue is fairly short. They line up, and GoGo sneaks glances at Tadashi out of her periphery. His face is calm and stoic, and the contrast to his usually optimistic and cheerful persona unnerves her, as much as she does not want to admit it.
When the both of them finally receive their orders, they settle into two tall chairs at the corner of the cafe, stirring their beverages in silence. Thankfully (at least, to GoGo, who no longer has to start the conversation), Tadashi speaks first.
"They've been gone for a while now. Ages, maybe. But sometimes, I still miss them." He sips at his coffee, his eyes still dull and distracted.
"I would be too, if I were you," GoGo mumbles, for lack of better words to say. The subject of loss hangs between them like a dark and heavy curtain, until GoGo pipes up again, trying to blot out the empty silence.
"Do you remember what your mum was like?"
Tadashi – well, his eyes don't exactly brighten, but they soften and it's the most at ease she's seen him all day.
"She was gentle and really kind. A patient person, even when Hiro and I messed up. She made me feel good about myself, even when I felt dwarfed by Hiro's intelligence. She..." Sadness creeps into his eyes.
"She loved me."
"... She probably loved you too," GoGo whispers. Tadashi doesn't look at her as he takes another gulp of his coffee. GoGo grips her cup of coffee with more force than necessary.
Should she say she's sorry for his loss? But as much as she is, those words are not enough. They mean close to nothing when the loss in question is irreversible. She feels like she's drowning – on a constant struggle to find words of comfort that actually mean something, not just empty sentiments and polite phrases. But there's nothing and the silence stretches and stretches–
"All right, there's nothing I can say to make you feel better," GoGo swallows. Admitting it scares her more than she'd like to let on. She's always been the one with the advice – straightforward and clear words that can help to ease the burden on her friend's shoulders. The idea of not being able to help or comfort one of them makes her feel painfully helpless.
"But talking helps ease the pain sometimes. At least, it would for me." GoGo briefly remembers speeding down roads and across high ways on her bike when the silence at home got too suffocating and loud; remembers craving someone to spill her guts out to even though there's never anyone (not her father, who's too busy finding a new wife and trying to expand their family; not her friends, because no one wants to be friends with the weird girl with the need for speed and choppy hair and only one parent and–)
"GoGo?"
Tadashi's voice is soft and full of concern, and as GoGo jolts out of her trance hastily, trying to shut the memories away before all of them start flooding back, she curses herself because she's supposed to be the one comforting Tadashi, not the other way round.
"Thinking about your family?" Tadashi asks softly, and as GoGo regards him with surprise, he gives her a small sad smile.
"I know the look." The reply makes her wonder if he's seen it in the mirror too many times. "Guess we're more alike than we think, huh?"
GoGo can't help but smile. "Unfortunately, yes." They lapse into silence again, but this time, she thinks it's strangely comforting.
"I may not have known your parents. But given what you've told me, I'm sure they're really proud of you. As proud as you are of them." GoGo smiles – not a smirk nor a snarl this time – and her face softens uncharacteristically. She places a hand on Tadashi's arm. "You may always miss them and you'll probably always love them. But one thing's for sure; you'll never ever forget them. And they never forget you either."
"That's what family is."
She closes her eyes and proceeds to drain her cup as Tadashi whispers a somber thank you.
"You're treating next time."
Tadashi finds GoGo standing in the rain two weeks later, her eyes as dull as the stormy clouds buzzing above them.
"Today was the day my mum left my dad." She whispers hollowly, and for the first time, GoGo looks so lost, so broken that Tadashi struggles to find something appropriate to say – only to settle for the first thing that comes to his mind.
"Let's grab some coffee."
Looking back, GoGo thinks it's stupid – how "grabbing coffee" has become some sort of ritual for them whenever they're down or in trouble.
But, stupid as it is, she finds that she doesn't really mind.
(Somewhere over the days, weeks and months, grabbing coffee comes with tentative hand-holding and warm hugs and gentle kisses and GoGo finds that she doesn't really mind that either.)
"Sorry for being late. Traffic." GoGo pops her bubblegum nonchalantly as she settles down on the grass in front of Tadashi and hands him his coffee.
"You used to be the one to get the coffee," she reminds him, rolling her eyes with old affection. "Can't believe I have to be the one to do it now." She does not wait for him to stir his Caramel Macchiato Frappucino with his usual cautiousness. Instead, she peels off the lid to her Pike Roast, blows at it and takes a slow sip. She's in a dire need of the caffeine and waiting for Tadashi would take forever.
"It's been... What? Two years since we first met? You made me spill my coffee." She closes her eyes, but she can still see and hear his indignant splutter. The wind's cooling and she thinks, the anniversary of their meeting (she remembers because Tadashi marked it on the calendar as his first day of school) and all, that it's high time they recount the memories they've made. God, being with him has made her such a sentimentalist.
"Remember the last time you bought coffee for the both of us and nearly spilled it on Wasabi's table?" She feels a smile tug at the corner of her lips. "I thought he was going to launch into another of his one hour lectures."
"And Honey's on another baking spree. She used my oven last time. She's still trying to fix it." GoGo gives a short, barking laugh. "I had to crash at your place that other time she made it explode. We got coffee every single day. You'd offer to pay and I'd punch you. Hard." She glances away to hide the beginnings of a smile. The experience of living together hadn't been as bad as she initially expected. It was almost like having– No, it was definitely like having a family again.
GoGo talks and talks and talks until even she's surprised at how much she can remember – and just how many memories they've actually made together. She talks until the sun dips into the horizon and spills orange and yellow ribbons across the city; until her voice is hoarse and her legs are starting to grow numb in her seated position.
"Life's good," she finally muses, "Honey Lemon's having fun with new projects; Wasabi's finally put a toe outside his comfort zone; Fred's starting to contribute more than just trouble..."
"... But I still miss you." GoGo extends her hand, hating how it's still trembling even though she's already accepted this, and runs it across the name carved on the headstone in front of her. She imagines Tadashi Hamada smiling back, but the image is blurred like the worn edges of an old photo and she tries not to think about how long it's been since she last saw him (three months; ninety-one days; countless minutes and seconds.)
"You were an idiot to run into the fire," GoGo snarls with gritted teeth. She doesn't talk about Professor Callaghan; how even as Baymax was about to kill him and all of them were struggling to reason with Hiro and stop either of them from bearing the sins of a murderer, a part of her couldn't – didn't want to – bring herself to.
Because she wanted Callaghan dead too. Because he was the reason Tadashi was dead and god why does it still hurt, why are her shoulders shaking and why is her face wet with rain when the skies are so clear?
GoGo stays for almost an hour more, because as much as her body aches from discomfort and tiredness, a part of her doesn't want to leave yet. When it's finally time – time to go home, time to report back before Honey Lemon panics and calls the cops (again), time to return to a family (that no longer includes Tadashi Hamada) – GoGo wipes her eyes dry one last time.
"Just so you know, you're treating next time." She smiles at the ridiculousness of her words before she has a chance to feel sad and leaves. The cup of Caramel Macchiato Frappucino is left on the grave – still in pristine condition. There's a series of words scribbled on it with black marker.
Tadashi Hamada, the person I've never regret meeting despite everything you put me through – thank you.
not very satisfied with the ending but i'm dead tired will edit tmr zzzzz (god I really dislike the ending any suggestions for improvements will be most welcome)