Know Your Stars

by Slo Motion

Did you ever watch All That's "Know Your Stars" segment? The one with the voice annoying people? What if it was done with the 7th Heaven characters?

1. Eric Camden

Title: "Know Your Stars"

Date Penned: 7.24.05 / Edited: 5.11.08

Main Character(s): Everyone

Author: Slo Motion (a.k.a Alexa)

Rating: T/PG-13; mainly for language

Genre: Humor, parody

Main POV: No one

Character Death: Nada

Coupling: None

Songs Used: Not sure

Setting: No setting really.

Disclaimer: 7th Heaven is not mine to own, and nor is the "Know Your Stars" concept from All That.

Summary: Did you ever watch All That's "Know Your Stars" segment? The one with the voice annoying people? What if it was done with the 7th Heaven characters?

A/N: Ok so I'm finally going back and redoing parts of this story I don't like. I've been promising to put it back up for like 3 years now and I'm finally getting to it.

Chapter 1: Eric Camden

There was a dark stage. Light filled it and Reverend Eric Camden could be seen wandering around, looking confused.

Eric sighed, "Next time, Chandler can go out and get our lunch!"

A voice stared talking, "Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Eric jumped, "Who's there?! Chandler?! Is that you!? I'm going to kill you for staying at the church to "call Roxanne", my sanity is more important than your girlfriend!!"

"Eric Camden…he worships monkeys!!"

"Who said that?! I hate monkeys!!"

Eric got no reply.

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"I will never reveal my identity!"

"Ok, whatever. Well, how did I get here? Last time I checked, I was going to Wendy's to get Chandler and me some lunch."

"Well tooooooo bad Mr. Man, you're here now, SO LET ME GO ON!!"

"You're rude."

"Eric Camden…he thinks silk ties are sexy!!"

"Darn!! I thought that was a secret!!"

"Ok, so anyway, moving on. Eric Camden, is having a secret affair with Chandler!!"

"That's just gross!! Chandler's a guy, I'm a guy…"

"You are??"

"Ok, ignoring you…but that's disgusting!! I'm a minister and so is Chandler!! Besides, I'm married to The Bitch…err, I mean Annie, and Chandler is dating Roxanne!!"

"Eric Camden…wants to grow an afro!!"

"No I don't!! Afros are ugly!! I shaved mine off in 1980 and got a Mohawk…now THOSE are sexy!! I had to beat the ladies off with a stick!!"

"Eric Camden…is too sexy for his shirt!!"

"You got that right, Voice!!"

Eric took off his shirt and tie and started dancing around. He started singing the Right Said Fred song "I'm Too Sexy".

"I'm too sexy for my love/Too sexy for my love/Love's going to leave me…"

"DON'T SING THAT!!"

"Ok, I'll sing another song…Ooohh, you touch my tralala / Mmmmm, my ding ding dong!"

"You have gone nuts!! YOU ARE SINGING THE CREEPY DING DONG SONG YOU NUTCASE!!"

"You tease me / Oh please me / I want you to be my love toy!"

"I give up!!"

The Voice went to whack its head into a wall as Eric started singing another really random song.

"Oh baby can't you see / That everything you do / Everything that you do / Makes me wanna go ooh ooh ooh ah oh!"

"AAAHHHH!! STOP IT!!"

The Voice slammed its head hard into the wall as Eric disco danced topless while singing.

Songs Used In Chapter (In Order): "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred; "Ding Dong Song (You Touch My Tra La La)" by Phill & Company / Gunther & The Sunshine Girls; "Everything You Do" by M2M are all not mine.