A/N: Here is another Game Show Harry Potter fic… I think its longer than my other one. Anyways, I hope you like it, please R/R (P.S. I have no clue how to spell Pat's last name, sorry)
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, Pat Sajack belongs to himself, Vanna White belongs to herself, Wheel of fortune belongs to ABC, the line "I am ________! You killed my father, prepare to die" belongs to whoever made the movie the princess bride, I belong to myself, The pineapple tie and all of the other craziness belong to me.
ANNOUCER: Hello and welcome to our special Team Harry Potter Edition of…
AUDIENCE: WHEEL…OF…FORTUNE!!!!!!!!!
ANNOUNCER: That's right! Now please welcome the stars of our show… PAT SAJAC and VANNA WHITE!!!!!!!! (Audience cheers, Pat & Vanna enter. Vanna is wearing silvery dress robes, Pat is wearing a suit with a pineapple tie (A/N: he he he, read my other fic if you don't get it))
PAT: Hello everyone! Thank you for your warm welcome…. Now lets meet the contestants: First we have… Draco Malfoy and Lord Voldemort! (Audience gasps, Malfoy's family cheers) What does each of you do for a living?
MALFOY: I attend Hogwarts School and Pick on those who are less worthy than me (sneers at Harry and Herm)
VOLDEMORT: I am a professional dark lord and I murder people for fun. (Also sneers at Harry)
PAT: Well that's very interesting! Next we have, Severus Snape and Minerva McGongall! (Audience applauds) What do you two do?
McGONGALL: I teach Transformations at Hogwarts and I am head of the Gryffindor House.
SNAPE: I teach Potions at Hogwarts (Glares evilly at the Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher who is in the audience) and I am the head of the Slytherin House.
PAT: Very nice, and now… Lastly but not Leastly (audience chuckles) we have Hermione Granger and HARRY POTTER!!! (Audience screams themselves hoarse, Malfoy, Snape, and Voldie all glare at Harry some more). What do you both do?
HERMIONE: I attend Hogwarts School and am in the Gryfindor House.
HARRY: ditto
PAT: Great! Now I see we have a few, well, arch enemies within our contestants… but anyways… let's play! Our first category is… Before and After! (Squares appear on the board:)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
PAT: Okay, our first spin goes to the H team (he guffaws, Harry and Herm roll their eyes, Herm spins) Oh, I'm sorry, you got "bankruptcy". Too bad… Voldie and Draco are next! (Voldie spins the wheel and it lands on 10,000 galleons)
VOLDIE: (whispers with Malfoy) "P" (Vanna's nifty computerized system shows 2 letters as she touches each screen)
P _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ P _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
MALFOY: We'd like to solve the puzzle!
PAT: Er… Okay…
VOLDIE: POLYJUICE POTION MASTER!
PAT: Vanna? (Vanna flips over all the letters) You are CORRECT!
HERM: WHAT! Are sure he didn't use his wand?
HARRY: Yeah, he is a dark lord, you know!
VOLDIE: HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF CHEATING????? NAGINI!!!! COME DESTROY THESE MINIONS!!!!! (He is so angry he aims his wand at Pat and blows the pineapple tie to smithereens)
NAGINI: (Emerging from backstage) HISSSSSSSSSSS!
PAT: (Clutching the remains of his tie) Translation???
HARRY: She said, "YES, O GREAT MASTER, IT WILL BE MY PLEASSSSSURE!"
PAT: Oh no! My show shall be ruined! STOP SNAKE! NOOOOOO!
NAGINI: (Slithers towards Harry & Herm, the audience is screaming and running away) MY NAME IS NAGINI SNAKE! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!!!! PRAPARE TO DIE!!!!
HARRY: Who'd I kill?
NAGINI: Sssssorry, I've always wanted to sssssay that, actually, my father is living freely in Brazil thanks to you… therefore I won't kill you…
VOLDIE: WHAT?????? MY PRIZED PET!!! IN DEBT TO MY ARCH ENEMY??? Well this is an interesting situation… Shall we discuss it over tea?
McGONGALL: Great idea, Voldie! Can I call you Voldie?
VOLDIE: Sure! No, who has tea?
VANNA: We do in the staff room!
PAT: WAIT!!!! What about the show????
SNAPE: Forget it Sayjac. We're all having Tea!!! (Waves his wand and the wheel turns into a tea table, they all sit down around the table)
MALFOY: Hey Volie, can I be your prized servant now?
VOLDIE: Sure, son!
LUCIUS MALFOY: (In the audience) *sniff* My own son… he's all grown up and serving the Dark Lord… *sniff* WAY TO GO DRACO!!!!
HARRY: Wait a minute! If he gets servants, than I shou;d get servants too! How 'bout it Nagini?
NAGINI: Yesssss, masssster! It sssshall be an honor! (Slithers over to Voldie and bites his foot)
VOLDIE: AHHHHHHH! Draco, my friend, KILL THE SNAKE!!!!!!!!! (Nagini bites Draco's foot, Draco pours tea on Nagini's head)
KITTYANGEL (myself): (enters) Hey! That's not in the script! Stop it!
NAGINI: Hello author, thanksss for making me Harry's servant, Voldemort is so last century!
KITTYANGEL: Your Welcome! Can I join you all for tea??
McGONGALL: Sure!
(We all sit down and have a happy little tea party. Nagini only bites Draco twice, but he is transported to the hospital wing for snakebites)
NAGINI: Isssssssssss it fic over yet? I'm tired of biting people!
KITTYANGEL: I guess so, I have to buy more pineapple ties anyways…