„Sa-ku-ra", he slurred as he came into my room. I tried to look asleep. Not today. Not again. I can't take this anymore.
„I know you're awake", he whispered, traveling a hand down my spine. I wanted to throw up. Why me?
„Stand up!", he shouted, yanking me up by my hair. I didn't scream, it would make it worse. I punch to my ribcage, my stomach. Fierce hands leaving bruises on my legs as he had his way with me.
The scent of alcohol too familiar to be right. My eyes squeezed shut.
Someone please help me. Save me.
I sat up, almost falling out of my bed, sprinting to my bathroom, throwing up. I was drenched it sweat, breathing heavily. My hands grabbed the edge of the bathtub as I stood.
I looked into the mirror over the sink. I was pale and thin. I always was but one thing changed. The dark purple bruises were gone. Still my scars remained. The skin on my left arm an irregular mess. My eyes shone sickly green over the black shadows. A tear slowly making its way down my cheek. Then another and another. Silently I let them fall. It's tearing me apart.
I walked over to the shower. Getting inn I let the warmth of the water calm me down. I started cleaning myself, fully aware that no matter how much I would try I would still feel stained.
„Sa-ku-ra"
I jolted up. I couldn't breath, felt like suffocating. My eyes were wide open in horror. Not again
„Sakura", he crouched in front of me. I slapped his hands away. Frantically shaking my head. It was just a nightmare, I tried to convince myself. It was not. It happened. It all happened too often. Fisting my hair into my hands, almost ripping it out, I tried not to cry. Not here. Not in front of him.
„Sakura", he whispered, sitting down beside me. He pried my hands of my hair. I looked up at him, mouth open, eyes still wide with dread.
„I can't take it anymore", I whispered, my voice thin and uneven, too high for being mine. I shouldn't be talking now. Not here on our way back home from a mission.
„What can't you take anymore?", Sasuke asked. My breath didn't even out. It was so heavy.
„Those dreams. Those nightmare", I whispered.
„What are they about?", his concern was so true. I fiddled with the armprotector of my left arm. Sasuke wordlessly brushed my hand away and removed the protector gently. The scars seemed to burn under his touch and stare.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me on his lap.
„What happened to you?", he asked. Who made you do this to yourself? Were the words he didn't spoke.
„He came to me every night", I started, my voice only a breath but I knew he would hear. His arms tightened around my small frame. A sob escaped me. I clapped my hand over my mouth. He gently removed it, laying a hand on my cheeks as he hugged me to his chest.
„Who?", his voice was nothing but a whisper. The hidden tune scared me. I bit my lip.
„My-", I stocked. Then took a deep breath.
„My father", a tears slit down my cheek. I was shaking. He didn't say anything but he didn't loosened his embrace.
„Sasuke", I whispered as I felt him tremble. I removed the hand from my cheek and looked into his face.
„Where is he now?", he asked.
„He's dead. He can't hurt me anymore", I said but it was a lie. With every breath I took I felt like hurting more and more. Those memory wouldn't let me go.
„How old were you?", he fixed his eyes on a spot, looking over my head.
„It started when I was seven and he died when I was fourteen", I whispered. I never thought it would become easier to talk about those things but it was. It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
Sasuke looked straight into my eyes. They were red.
„Why didn't you say anything?", he said, is voice full of anger. I looked away. Suddenly I wanted to be somewhere else. Never talk again.
„Sakura", his voice was calmer. He sighed.
„I'm sorry", he whispered, cupping my cheeks with his hands. I looked into his, now black, eyes. They didn't hold the hard fury of before anymore just concern and a hint of regret.
„Don't be", I said and wrapped my arms around his neck, laying my head on his shoulder. Immediately he wrapped his arms around me. I felt save in his embrace, like no nightmare would be able to come and hunt me. I felt protected. I knew then that I should have spoken to someone earlier. That it is better to break the silence and let yourself be helped. That hope is not lost.