Ok, may be a bit strange, but I like it. Until I can upload the story I was originally going to put up, you'll have to put up with this. Wrote it in Wales and was feeling strangely inspired. And, quelle surprise, I don't own any of the characters or the story line. See Homer and Virgil. They do. Oh, and Sophocles, too.
Lies
Almost a month spent building the damned thing, a fortnight preparing myself, and now I'm ready for it – ready to lie my way into a city and, hopefully, bring about its destruction. What can I say? About time. We've been here for ten years, the worst ten years of every man's life, and what for? For a woman I've never actually met, only heard tell of, and to fill Agamemnon's coffers so that they overflow. Men from all over Greece have died, as have the Trojans and their allies. Don't get me wrong – I hate them as much as the next man, but it's still a waste. Hades and Thanatos are the only ones who have done well out of this carnage – the Underworld must be full to bursting point. And to think I could have stayed at home...but then my cousin was forced to come, the least I could do was keep him company.
This last year he's been nothing short of intolerable, but then he's had a lot on his mind. On more than one occasion the 'king of kings' has come close to losing total control and only Odysseus was able to prevent the men from forgetting all loyalty and sailing home, no matter how tempted he was to join them. And then there was the incident with Achilles. Now, I know that most men from the mainland think that Ithacans are somewhat crude, and it's not uncommon for Odysseus to use language that most kings and princes would never dream of using before their men. However, it is uncommon for him to use it while speaking to the High King of Mycenae. Very uncommon, but also rather amusing. This is Odysseus we're talking about – the last time he lost his temper was when Palamedes revealed that his 'madness' was completely staged. He wasn't best pleased when I laughed at him about it, either.
"It is not a laughing matter, Sinon," he'd snapped. "I mean, it's his own fault – if he'd just given the girl back and not asked for any more...and he expects me to try and clear it up. Me and Nestor and Ajax. Ajax was characteristically blunt and – how can I put it without insulting him? – slow; Nestor went on about Tydeus and the like for Zeus knows how long and Achilles is as stubborn as a mule anyway."
Fortunately there were the night-time 'expeditions' to discover what the Trojans were planning, and they were usually with Diomedes, about the only other king my cousin can actually stand, otherwise I would never have heard the end of his complaints. In fact, at the end of one particularly successful raid, he came back with about a dozen white horses and a grin on his face. He was so delighted that he was almost – Zeus protect us – nice to me. Diomedes had laughed.
"Be careful, or people will start to think you actually get on with each other." Diomedes was, until a short while ago, the only king who understood that Odysseus and I were far to similar to hate each other, but my cousin got it into his head that it would be prudent to let the rest of the kings think that we did.
What can only be described as 'the straw that broke the pack-mule's back' came not long after the death of Achilles. It was decided that his armour, supposedly made in the forges of Hephaestus by the smith-god himself, should be awarded to the bravest man among the Greeks. Now, as Ajax brought Achilles' body back to our camp and Odysseus made it possible for this to be done – he and his Ithacans, although not a particularly imposing force, had rushed at the Trojans, inspiring others to do the same – they were the obvious choices. As it was decided that a competition of arms would be unfair, it was decided that each of these warriors should make a speech to convince the other kings that the armour should be theirs. I wasn't actually there, but a battle of words would be no fairer than one of arms. As my cousin has stated on many occasions, Ajax is hardly the brightest flame in the fire. Odysseus, on the other hand, could convince an ant it was a grasshopper if he really wanted. Ajax didn't take defeat too well. In fact, he took it so badly that he lost his wits and took a sword to the animals, thinking that he was murdering Odysseus, Agamemnon and Menelaus in their sleep. When he realised what he had done, Ajax committed suicide. Seeing Odysseus remorseful is a very rare occurrence, but through this last deed of Ajax, he did not just earn the hate of Ajax's men and his half-brother Teucer, but he also blamed himself and became more miserable than before. Since then he's done everything he can to bring about the destruction of Troy – went to get Achilles' son, Neoptolemus, brought Philoctetes back from Lemnos and made sure he was cured of the snake bite he was left there for in the first place (but nearly got shot several times in the process), stole the Palladium from the temple of Athena in Troy itself, and now this. A hollow wooden horse.
"This," he had announced in a council of kings, after revealing exactly what he, the carpenter Epeius, most of the Ithacans, a few of Diomedes' Argives and myself had been doing for the past month, "is about the only way we'll be able to get into Troy. We have to make them believe that we've given up and gone home, leaving this horse to placate Athena, who I 'insulted' after stealing the Palladium." There was general amusement among the kings. It was well known that Pallas Athena could never be insulted by Odysseus and his schemes – he was one of her favourites. As the laughter died down, my cousin continued. "We will, in fact, have our ships hidden behind Tenedos. There will be thirty men within the horse, ready to open the Skaian Gate when the Trojans bring it into the city. A signal will be lit..."
"We are all very aware that you feel that most people are below your level of intelligence," interrupted Agamemnon. "But the slightest whisper of your name will spread doubt among the Trojans and they'll burn it to the ground. They're not that stupid." Odysseus grinned in reply.
"That," he began, gesturing to me, "is where Sinon comes in. He'll pretend to be the cousin of some other king and will go on about how he was left as a sacrifice and now despises all the kings, and hates me with a particularly strong passion."
"I thought he did hate you," muttered Menelaus. I blinked and stared at him.
"Whatever gave you that impression?" I innocently inquired. Diomedes began to cough violently, in an attempt to disguise his laughter. Odysseus rolled his eyes and continued.
"He'll go on about that for as long as necessary, maybe throwing in that problem I had with Palamedes just to stir up more ill-feeling towards me. Hopefully by then, the Trojans will have accepted that the horse is not a trick and let us in. At dark, Sinon will light a beacon and let those in the horse out. They'll kill the guards and open the gate." He looked around, grinning from ear to ear, waiting for a response.
Old Nestor stood up. "I congratulate you, Odysseus. It's a superb plan, but there's one major flaw."
"Oh? And that is?"
"You and Sinon look very similar." He had a point. Most of the kings, excepting Diomedes, had confused me for Odysseus at least once. In fact, our similarity had caused severe problems when I had stolen something from Icarius, the brother of the king of Sparta. He had mistaken me for Odysseus and my cousin had not been at all happy about it. How was I to know he had fallen madly in love with the man's daughter? Fortunately, Tyndareus had been able to sort things out and Odysseus married his beloved Penelope. Unfortunately, he never forgave me, so, before the council, when he explained what he wanted me to do I was convinced that it was revenge.
"He's thought of that," I muttered grimly, in reply to the Pylian king.
"Sinon needs to cut as pitiable a figure as possible, so that they won't feel it necessary to look at his face, so he'll be eating and drinking as little as possible." This, I had to make a joke of.
"Are you denying me alcohol?" I asked, putting on a horrified expression. There was no laughter. Odysseus ruined the effect by merely nodding.
"Sleep deprivation will add to the whole image as well. Those extra hours up should give him plenty of time to perfect his accent."
Depressingly enough, he was right. By the time I looked miserable enough to pass for an escaped prisoner, not only did I look nothing like Odysseus, but also I couldn't throw off the Argive accent I had spent days learning how to imitate. It had come as no surprise to anyone that I chose to call myself Diomedes' cousin. It only added to Odysseus' treachery if he brought about the downfall of his friend's relative.
Twenty-nine of the thirty men chosen to go in the horse are now climbing in, taking their last look at the outside world for at least a day. The tents have been taken down, and Odysseus is issuing his final commands to his Ithacans, who will be following Eurylochus, his second-in-command for the time being. His men embark the twelve ships of the Ithacan fleet and Odysseus turns towards me. His face is pale, his smile, sheepish, and there is a glint of fear in his usually over-confident eyes.
"Well," he says, for once at a loss for words. "You look shit, Sinon"
"Worse than you when you went to get the Palladium?" He nods and sighs heavily.
"I hope this all works. If it doesn't..."
"We're all dead men. I know."
"If it doesn't I won't see my wife and son again. Or my parents. Or Ithaca." It's strange how much he loves his little island. It's covered in rocks, and is somewhat – no, very – penurious, but he adores it. True enough, while he's there he complains about it constantly, but when he's away, he gets homesick. And when it comes to Penelope and Telemachus, it takes a lot to get him out of his misery. I need to make a quick joke to prevent any moping.
"We'll still be together, causing mayhem in the Kingdom of Hades."
"I don't know if I could stand that. Not just stuck with you in life, but in death too." We both laugh, although neither of us finds it particularly funny. Odysseus sighs again and clasps my shoulder tightly. "May Hermes give you a liar's golden tongue. You'll need it." He lets go and walks towards the horse, stops, and then turns back. "And Sinon...good luck."
I watch him as he climbs up the rope ladder into the horse's belly. He doesn't turn back. The ladder is pulled up behind him and the hidden trapdoor is shut. On the sea, the Grecian fleet are setting off. I watch the ships disappear into the horizon, and before I know it, I am alone. Alone until the morning, when the Trojans will find me.