When I finally open my eyes again the world isn't dark like I thought it would be. The air that fills my lungs is sweet. I feel weightless. My fingers reach out, slipping beneath the surface of what I am laying on, unwilling to register touch.
Eventually my eyes adjust to the sunlight streaming down from high above. They feel crusty as I blink, trying to take in the pale blue sky looming above me. I try to push myself up, but my hands push through the surface, finding soggy ground beneath the water of the vast puddle I am floating on.
I stand up in the ankle deep water, dizzy on my feet, and look down at my hands. I remember the odd feeling in my stomach, the cold that clenched around my heart, the way my vision had begun to blur around the edges, how my brain disconnected from my surroundings. I could feel Vision's limp body beneath my hands, remember feeling him slip away as I slipped away.
Pain stabs my heart, and I stagger. I feel lost already without the last person who feels like home. I sit back down in the water. I don't care. I don't want to keep going anymore. I feel the tears prickling behind my eyes. Without my permission one escapes and falls into the water.
Slowly I look up. Others float around me, most dead to the world, but others beginning to wake up. At the edge of the water, grass stretches out for as far as I can see, dotted with trees. People are gathering, splitting into groups.
I push myself up and step out of the water. The people I see are young, old, dressed nicely, or in rags. Children cry out for their parents. I can feel their tension, their panic. My heart rate begins to increase as I push my way through the crowd searching for a familiar face, just one. My breath catches in my throat, my body succumbing to the terror that surrounds me.
"Folks, let's just everyone calm down," the familiar voice rings out from my right.
I worry and and pick up my pace. Sam Wilson is standing on a rock. The pack on his back holding his wings is smoking. I can tell that he's nervous despite his calm demeanor.
"I know this is really, really weird, but we're gonna figure it out, so there's no need to panic." His usual humor is missing.
Behind him, Bucky clenches and unclenches his fists, his jaw tight like he's trying to keep a handle. His eyes are vacant, staring out unfocused.
"I don't know who you think you are, but you are not in charge. That's like my job, cause I'm awesome at it."
A man pushes through the crowd and brushes past me. His suit makes me think that he's a hero or a threat.
"And who are you?" Sam crosses his arms defensively.
"Star Lord." The man spreads his arms and sticks out his chest proudly.
"Star Lord." Sam says incredulously.
Star Lord rolls his eyes. "You know, the fiercest fighters in the galaxy, who are you exactly."
"I'm Sam Wilson," Sam says, addressing the crowd again. "Me and Bucky here work with the Avengers."
"The Avengers?" An odd looking girl with antenna tipped with light steps up behind Star Lord.
"Who are you now?" Sam is visibly annoyed now.
"I'm Mantis," the girl waves. "We know the Avengers."
"I don't know you," Sam says.
"We know Thor, and Tony, and Peter." She counts off on her fingers.
"Tony. You know Tony Stark?" Sam asks, more interested now. "I'm still in charge."
"Listen here." Star Lord points his finger at Sam's face, ready for a lecture.
I step out to prevent the inevitable fight that will come. "Stop," I say.
Sam looks at me surprised. "You too?" he asks.
The crowd breaks as someone bursts through stumbling out before us.
"Hey!" The young boy looks at us, his suit missing the mask. I remember him from the airport in Germany. His eyes are bright and wild, scared. His breathing is rapid and his hands shake. "This isn't so bad, I thought it's be worse. I just-"
Sam cuts him off. "It's Peter right?"
"Yeah, yeah that's right. I remember you from Germany. Carbon fiber wings, super cool by the way."
"Thank you?"
"Excuse me." The voice is accented but commanding, rewarding the owner with clear passage to our huddle. I recognize the man that steps forward, his black suit as intimidating as ever.
"Are you here to be in charge too?" Star Lord asks, his words filled with a childish attitude.
"It does not appear that you are doing a good job," T'Challa answers honestly.
"Oh and what qualifies you for the job?" Star Lord crosses his arms.
"I am a king."
T'Challa takes over organizing groups and calming people. Shuri is a welcoming sight. She embraces her brother and then me. She squeezes me extra hard and whispers in my ear, "I'm so sorry."
We busy ourselves until night falls and we gather around. Others have joined our group, leaders from Wakanda, Drax, Groot, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and Dr. Strange, among others.
"What happened?" Shuri asks.
"We lost," Bucky's voice is hollow.
We recap the story from each of our point of view. The silence hangs over our small group of broken heros, heavy as our hearts when the words stop coming. I bite back the tears that will fall later. The view that spreads out in fount of us looks like an army, waiting for their battle. Afraid because they know they will lose.
"What now?" Sam asks, his confidence almost gone now.
"We survive," T'Challa answers.
"How, how long do you think we can do that?" Peter asks, a small stutter in his voice. I look out at so many mouths to feed.
"Don't worry," Bucky says, "Everyone who's not here, they'll find a way to get us back." Dr. Strange fiddles with the necklace hanging around neck that once held the time stone.
"We all failed? How could be all fail?" Shuri asks, almost to herself.
Dr. Strange looks me in the eyes. "I tried, but there was no other way."
I excuse myself, brushing past Dr. Strange as I go. As my skin touches his I see it stretching out before me failure after failure, like he'd done this a million times. The many things the Time Stone could do I wasn't sure.
I lay away from everyone, my arms wrapped around myself to keep warm and silently cry myself to sleep. Dr. Strange's words ring in my ears.
"There was no other way."