Steve looked around the Avengers main conference table in frustration as he realised Tony was late. Again. "Anyone seen Stark?" he asked after a long moment of silence, his tone mirroring the same degree of tiredness felt by everyone else at the table. Natasha and Bruce exchanged awkward looks, making Steve frown deeply. "Where is he?"
"He went to get something from his lab," the Black Widow explained eventually, her eyes saying what her words didn't. It wasn't the first time Tony had taken off for his lab after a mission, even though that wasn't their agreed upon post-mission protocol. It also wasn't the first time they'd asked Tony to be there. It wasted everyone's time when he showed up late because usually, they had to reschedule the debrief.
Today though, as Steve looked around the table solemnly, he came to a snap decision. "Then I guess he can debrief later. I'd like to get a hot shower and sleep sooner versus later. Alright, let's recap…" Captain America pushed thoughts of his infuriating friend from his mind to focus on the task at hand.
A few hours later, freshly showered and with a full stomach, he found himself stepping into Tony's lab and chaos descended around him. The place was a mess, he could hear Tony ranting at Dummy and it smelled of fumes down here. "Stark?" he called out in concern. "Hey, Tony? Where are you?"
A loud curse greeted the question but a few moments later Tony appeared with a sarcastic smile. "You need something Cap? I'm kind of busy."
Steve raised his eyebrows in disapproval. "Like you were too busy for the debrief earlier?"
Tony shrugged off the disapproval. "I had important experiments to run. I've designed a whole new integrated upgrade for Friday and the sooner I can roll it out the better for all of us. Now, are you done?"
Steve sighed, recognising that Tony wasn't going to listen to him. "I came to fill you in on the meeting."
"Great. Could you give me the cliff notes version?" Tony asked, returning to the suit repairs he and Dummy were currently doing while Friday's update ran in the background.
"Sure. Mission was a success, but we almost lost it in that hangar…" Steve began the debrief again for Tony's sake, quickly realising the younger man was barely aware of him in the room anymore. He sighed. "That's it. I'll leave you to finish up. Try and get some rest, Tony, we have training at 0700 tomorrow."
Tony nodded distractedly and Steve left with a concerned goodnight.
Two more days passed and everyone was worried. Tony had missed training, food, meetings and nobody knew how to draw him out of the lab. They'd all tried to go down and coax him up to no avail and Steve was becoming increasingly concerned with all the horror stories he was hearing of Tony's temper and how tired and generally drained he looked.
It took until the end of that second day for the Captain to square his shoulders and let himself into the lab. "Tony, you're done. Finish up please."
"Later," Tony called from his workbench.
"No, Tony. Now." When Steve got no answer, he took matters into his own hands. He looked around the lab in disapproval of the equipment abandoned on every surface and the empty coffee mugs that were strewn around. "Friday, shut him down."
"Friday, override. Don't make me take away your update…"
Steve shook his head in frustration. "Friday, shut him down under sanction 2074, official Avengers business."
It took a moment but eventually the tool Tony was using cut out and the lights dimmed to a more natural level. "Thank you, Friday. Don't cancel that sanction until 0900 tomorrow morning."
"Damn it, Rogers!" Tony growled on annoyance, turning to glare at him. "I'm busy and Friday is my server!"
"No, Tony," Steve corrected. "You're done for tonight. When was the last time you slept more than an hour?"
"I've slept…" Tony brushed off, looking away from his friend.
"A thirty-minute catnap at that bench doesn't count. As for eating…" Steve paused thoughtfully before standing up straighter. "Someone needs to step in and interrupt this destructive behaviour, Stark. Come on, move."
Tony ignored him. Of course, he did. It figured that the younger, more impulsive, downright obnoxious man would brazenly ignore Steve about his own health just because he could. It frustrated Steve to no end, partly because it was such a common occurrence.
Steve waited a moment before moving closer, somehow managing to stroll through the lab despite how much it looked like a war zone. "Tony, I'm serious. That's enough for tonight."
Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I'm fine. Friday, set an alarm for midday. I'll rest then."
"No, you'll rest now." Steve knew his patience infuriated the hotheaded billionaire but it was also his most useful tool at the moment.
When Tony turned to rant at him about not needing a nanny and how Cap could just take his opinions and shove them up his ass, Steve acted on instinct. He'd grown up very differently to Tony and his sense of right and wrong was a little different. He often found himself shocked at how flippant and disrespectful Tony could be with seemingly zero effort.
He stepped closer and twisted Tony around, pushing him down over the workbench and reaching for a ruler he saw lying on the table nearby. Amazingly, it was one of the thin metal ones like Cap has grown up with and he knew from his experience how effective it could be. He brought it down against his teammate's ass before Tony could push himself up. The shock of it had the younger man going still in confusion.
Another strike, just below the first. And another.
Steve landed half a dozen before pausing. "I said enough, Tony. You're going to rest and then you're going to eat a solid meal. And no, coffee doesn't constitute a nutritious meal. We have another mission tomorrow and I am not taking someone who's liable to do something honestly stupid because he didn't take proper care of himself. You hear me?"
Tony cursed but gave a jerky nod. "Whatever, Dad…" he got out sarcastically.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Consider this your second strike. If you keep pushing, I'll push back and you're the one who won't be sitting down comfortably tomorrow."
"Steve, Steve, Steve… Wow. I didn't take you for the kinky type! I thought you were around before that was popular. Did Agent Carter convince you to try it out?" The younger man pushed himself towards, waggling his eyebrows with a smug grin.
He didn't expect the stormy look on Steve's face to be aimed at him. "Uh, Cap, that was a joke… relax.."
"That was too far, Tony. How would you feel if Pepper was mocked like that?"
Tony looked away in embarrassment.
"Well?" Steve demanded quietly.
"I'd be pissed. Uh, sorry…"
"Right. Accepted. You've earned yourself another dozen though. Turn around. Now, buddy."
Tony looked like he was about to argue for a moment but apparently thought better of it as he turned around and bent back over the workbench silently.
Steve was shocked for a moment that his friend had listened and obliged so easily, but he decided not to wonder about it. He stepped closer and raised the ruler, bringing it down sharply again against Tony's sweatpants-clad backside, glad his friend wasn't wearing jeans at the moment. When he'd delivered the promised twelve, he set the ruler down and stepped back. "Are you going to listen to me and pack up for the day now or do we need to keep going?"
Tony's breathing was a little laboured for a full minute before he shook his head. "I'm good. I guess I could do with some shut eye. Is Pepper around?"
Steve smiled as he helped his friend up. "She gets back this afternoon. Just enough time for you to rest so she doesn't lecture you," he commented mildly. It took a lot of self control not to laugh st the momentary worry clouding Iron Man's eyes. Nobody could get through to Tony like Pepper could.
Tony sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. "Friday, could you help Dummy tidy up a little in here? I'll be back later. Thanks."
"Of course, Sir."
Tony thanked her and turned to Steve. "So what, you're gonna make sure I leave?"
"I just thought you might like some company out of here, you have the others pretty worried. At Tony's groan, Steve laughed. "Come on. If we go quick, we can avoid Natasha insisting on training with you after you've slept…"
That got Tony moving. Steve walked with him up to his personal floor and said farewell there, figuring Tony would actually stay true to his word and lie down now he was out of the lab. He thought back on his unconventional and unexpectedly successful intervention and shook his head in fond exasperation. It figured that Tony would be more rational about that than a reasonable conversation. Steve worried about it a moment longer before shrugging and making his way back downstairs tucking the information into his hypothetical tool belt. It may be unconventional but if it kept his friends safe, Steve Rogers would do anything he needed to.