Jay checked his wrist watch impatiently for the millionth time – it was almost time to go home but, for some unknown reason, every last bit of this work day was passing by agonizingly slow, torturing him.

As luck would have it, he still had a mountain of meaningless paperwork to fill out and complaining wasn't going to make it go away any faster. He knew that, if he was on his best behavior, soon enough he could clock out and crash so he decided to do just that, as much as he would've loved to keep bitching about it. Truth be told, he was rather cranky, but only because he hadn't slept in forever.

Between his own share of taunting, incessive thoughts involving a particular blonde co-worker and helping Ruzek and Burgess with the wedding preparations, shut eye had graciously evaded him.

His bloodshot gaze could hardly stand the blinding light of his computer screen anymore. He let out another involuntary yawn, catching Hailey's frame out of the corner of his eye as he did – it was something his glances tended to do a lot of lately, follow her around like a magnet. No notice, no warning.

He wasn't even aware he was doing it half the time, not until it was too late to take it back or pretend like it was all an accident or a strange coincidence. He sincerely hoped Hailey didn't notice a thing or, God forbid, think he was the resident weirdo dropping by from Creep-town to disturb her peace and quiet. She surely didn't act like it so maybe his worries were unfounded and a tad ridiculous. Maybe it was all in his head.

After all, it was a cluttered mess up there. If only someone else could do the spring cleaning.

Hailey was tapping a pencil to her lips restlessly and rhythmically..the same lips he was trying really hard not to look at or think of. Before he could even process his not so subtle stare, the blonde made eye contact with him and shot a brief smile his way. Thankfully, that smile only betrayed mild amusement mixed with compassion for his disheveled state of being, no hint that she knew anything of his earlier self-reflection.

Not a second later, she stretched in her seat in an attempt to chase her own share of fatigue, before urging her uneager body to move.

„Going for a coffee run, anyone need anything?" – she announced around the office.

Burgess was the first to react, lifting an enthusiastic hand in the air, her brown eyes betraying equal parts fatigue and boredom, followed by an absent nod from Atwater, lost in his own share of paperwork.

„The usual for me. Thanks, Hailey, you're an angel." – Burgees added, appreciatively, beaming at her blonde co-worker.

„Hey, already forgot who you're supposed to be marrying, Ms. Ruzek?" – Adam intervened, sending a bashful, boyish grin in Kim's direction, before wrapping his arms lovingly around her waist from behind and kissing her on the cheek. They really couldn't tone down the PDA lately, not that it seemed to bother anyone – after all, they were practically newly-weds already.

That, and it had to be admitted that they were pretty inspiring to anyone who knew of their history and how many obstacles they had to overcome to get here. They reminded the onlookers of Romeo and Juliet, without some of the tragedy – Intelligence Unit Edition, of course.

If you'd ask Jay, their only tragedy was wasting so much time chasing the wrong people and not getting their act together. He didn't want to admit how much he was relating to that particular course of action as well.

„Sorry, Adam, can't help it, I'm a knockout for both genders." – Hailey responded in faux self-confidence, smirking at the blissfully happy couple, unaware of the pointed, focused look Jay gave her. Adam replied in his characteristic way - with a raised eyebrow, as Kim lightly punched him in the shoulder to stop whatever witty comeback he probably had lingering on his lips.

Hailey wouldn't admit it in a million years, but the picture before her made her heart ache. She wouldn't say that there was a part, however small, guarded and carefully locked away in her that ached for at least a tenth of what Adam and Kim had.

Between seeing only the darkest parts of the world in her line of duty and being raised by an abuser, she hadn't allowed herself the chance to even dream of love, real love. She was pretty sure it didn't even exist outside of cheesy, unrealistic movies – that's why she only did casual and detached these days. It was the only way she'd keep herself from falling apart, the only way she'd drown the last remains of that part of her who dared to wish, even yearn for the opposite.

Contemplating the picture before her a minute too long, she exhaled, heavily, hoping no one picked up on it.

She heard the rumors, knew about her friends' on-and-off relationship but it still came as a bit of a surprise to her that they eventually got their act together and decided to take the next step. A welcome surprise, nonetheless.

Part of her always knew- she couldn't help but notice all the ways Adam looked at Kim, even when they were together, all the ways he's never looked at her, no matter how much she knows he tried. It was a look she recognized and understood fairly well because she wore it around somebody else, too.

Now, more than ever, she was acutely aware of it.

In the end, Hailey and Adam's break-up had been mutual, no bad blood between them, just support and understanding – she was actually delighted for that because, in the process, she had gained a valuable friend in Adam. They also teased each other like brother and sister now – it was a welcome change in their dynamic, one she needed. Her experience in the family department had hardly been stellar, she had a lot of catching up to do.

„I'm coming with you, Hailey. I can't stand this stupid screen anymore." – Jay announced all of a sudden, as all eyes in the room focused on him.

It was a lame excuse that he hoped no one would read too much into. But there was also some truth to his proposal - he needed the caffeine like air. That, along with a chance to talk to Hailey alone, away from prying eyes. He had an important question to ask her and rapidly running out of time to do it.

Sky blue orbs clashed across the room tentatively, as Jay absentmindedly grabbed his jacket and the pair made its way to their squad car.

„So...you look like a zombie." – Hailey remarked, teasingly once inside, barely maintaining a serious expression when Jay pouted, like a child, feigning hurt feelings, before starting the engine. „How long's it been since you last slept?" – she added, a hint of worry taking over her voice, unannounced.

„Thanks." – he smiled, not even trying to mask the evident sarcasm in his voice. „Don't know, to be honest. Can't remember."

„Best man duties?" – she asked in an understanding tone, her deductive capabilities on point.

As always. She never ceased to read him like an open book.

„That..."– he began, hesitantly. „And I've had a lot on my mind lately." – he added, a faraway air surrounding him out of nowhere, like he was going somewhere inside his mind, a place only he knew of, no visitors allowed.

He blinked once or twice in a futile effort to chase the sleep threatening to claim him for good away, before he unconsciously gripped the steering wheel just a little bit tighter.

He had no idea he was even doing it but his gesture wasn't lost on Hailey.

„Anything I can help out with?" – she asked, as gently and undemanding as possible, not wanting to pressure Jay in any way. She knew better than to even try. „No pressure. But I'm around if you need anything." – she added quickly, voicing her previous thought.

In response, Jay briefly turned her away, wearing an exhausted, but equally genuine and reassuring smile. If she were to be completely truthful, there was no excuse for the familiar shiver that ran from her heart down to her entire body as he did.

But she wasn't honest. Not about this, never had been. She wasn't brave either – her only shred of bravery was reserved solely for the line of duty.

„Thanks, Hailey."

So, she smiled back, weakly, almost pitifully, knowing that was the end of the conversation. She didn't want to pry any longer, instead settling for remaining quiet for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, it was a short drive to the nearby coffee shop, located just a few blocks from the district.

Jay offered to buy the coffees himself, not before making sure he got her order right, like it was of utmost importance. She was more touched by the fact that he remembered it to a T and that he even bothered to ask again, just to make sure, than she felt ready to acknowledge in a million years.

You're never late.

Those little things that Jay remembered about her that no one else did made her chest clench for reasons she was tired of making excuses for. But somehow, after all this time, she still had it in her to try. Denial was her most trusted shield and it wasn't coming off anytime soon. That didn't mean he didn't chip at her layers with every seemingly insignificant thing he did.

„Black, two sugars, right?" – he asked, thoughtful as always and she nodded, absentmindedly, evading his gaze. It was ridiculous, he wasn't even in her head, but, in that split second, she could swear he could hear every word.

If he noticed her acting strangely, he didn't say anything and she was grateful for that.

She waited in the car for what felt like an eternity, feeling the small space suddenly suffocate her. Jay couldn't have been gone for longer than 5 minutes but she was so lost in her own head that every second felt like a lifetime. She only reacted when he opened the door, a lot more cautiously than she expected and handed her a steaming cup of coffee, the pleasant aroma filling her nostrills, temporarily calming her and bringing her numb senses back to life.

„Thank you." – was all she could bring herself to say.

Her voice came too heavy and pointed for her to be talking about just coffee.

She took a massive gulp, despite the scorching hot temperature of her beverage, like she needed to drown whatever she had going on mentally in a physical manner too. She had a knot in her throat she couldn't shake and, unfortunately for her, not even melting lava hot caffeine seemed to do the trick. That familiar knot always came up for air when she was around Jay.

„You okay, Hailey?" – he asked, eventually sensing her inner turmoil.

She wrapped her hands tighter around her cup, letting out a whispered „Yeah" and gazing far ahead, followed by a few moments of tension-filled silence. Jay knew better than to pry when his partner closed herself off like that. So, he decided to change the subject, hoping to cheer her up, even if just a little.

„Can you believe Ruzek wanted to wear peach on his wedding day? Unironically?" – he joked, forcing a vibrant, convincing grin in spite of himself.

A sincere, angelic laughter followed and the sudden warmth in his chest couldn't have been caused solely by the much needed shot of caffeine he just savored.

„Please tell me you talked him out of it." – she answered back, echoing the same amusement found in Jay's earlier statement.

Her partner's smile only stretched more on his handsome face and Hailey wanted to curse herself right there for the sudden bizarre weakness taking over her knees.

„Of course. Burgess would kill me if I didn't."

„Yeah...and we don't want a runaway bride situation, right?" – she added, playfully.

„Definitely not."

Their familiar, easy banter was soon followed by another moment of silence. Least this time around it held none of the tension from earlier. It was comforting, inviting even. Noticing that Jay hadn't started the engine yet, Hailey was on the verge of questioning him about it, when he spoke, much too soon and in a voice that sounded foreign to her – hesitant, nervous.

It just felt like the right moment to ask.

„Hey, Hailey, I've been meaning to ask you something..." – he began, uncertainly, like he was testing the waters. He was a grown man but, for some reason, he felt anxious, like he was back in the days of his senior prom, wracking his brain in search of the perfect way to ask his crush out.

The reason for that sudden nervousness in his chest was on his list of things he tried so hard not to think about. Coincidentally, what kept him up at night was coming out to play during the daylight too.

.„Adam wanted to know earlier if I had a plus-one for the wedding and I don't. He said you didn't either so..I thought maybe we could go together? As friends. Only if you want to-"

She thought she'd seen (and loved) every shade of Jay Halstead before – focused, angry, tortured, hurt, happy, supportive, teasing...but she's never known him to be nervous. The sight took her aback, as she momentarily paused to regain her composure.

It also made her smile brighter than the sun - not that she could help her lips curving upwards around him anyways.

„Sure, okay." – she answered, going for detached neutral, but failing to mask a subtle streak of enthusiasm that slipped into her voice.

There was no one else she wanted to do this with more than him, not that she'd ever say it to his face, of course. She was too much of a coward for that. Her entire life had been nothing more than a rollercoaster sequence of missed chances with the people she loved – another reason why she did casual. No heartache, no risks.

She couldn't silence that nagging voice in her head pointing out that Jay Halstead was anything but casual, light or breezy to her.

He was everything and it killed her to be so painfully aware of it now, every second of every day. But, with her last breath, she could pretend. Her determination and drive would've been admirable traits, in any other context, if she wasn't using them to maintain a cracking facade.

What could go wrong, after all? This didn't have to be a thing or a big deal. They'd just hang out as friends, partners, co-workers, enjoy some casual drinks and maybe a dorky dance whilst sharing the joy of the happy couple's special day. She could do that, no problem.

She could dismiss the butterflies, the nerves, the anxiety and the jitters and keep it together.

Piece of wedding cake. She's had tons of practice.

„Alright, great." – he sealed the deal, the subtle hint of excited energy in his voice a stark contrast to his tired outer visage.. „I'll pick you up tomorrow, before the ceremony."

It's a date.

...is what he really wanted to say.

Instead, he settled for silence and another smile Hailey halfway reciprocated, before staring out the window like it was the most fascinating sight in the world. On the drive back to the precinct, they both stole fugitive, charged glances of each other's profile, unaware of their own actions.

Neither would say it but they were equally excited and downright terrified of what tomorrow would bring.

Only time would tell.