Chapter One
Phil
"Ughhh," Phil groaned as they walked to school. Summer break was over and they had to go to school. Did they have to escape the school again? He hoped not. All he wanted was a regular year of stinky toilets, bullies, idiots, stupid teachers who think 1+1=2345674832765 and the world is flat, crazy janitors who can SMELL a clog from a mile away, (that's what she said),an NO alien attacks. But everything went wrong right after he passed Chubb. (He's like the guard of the office, he will only go away if you give him treats). He slipped on somebody's pee and fell face-first onto the floor. But then he noticed he had PUDDING in his pocket. And then he realized Chubb/The Earthquake Generator was about to eat me whole! Or the pudding. Chubb rolled over me for the pudding. I had spit all over me. But my day got better! I found an one-hundred dollar bill on the ground! And then it disintegrated. Maybe my day didn't get a whole lot better but I bet my friend Smiley was having a great time at school (she really loves school, literally. If you think that's freaky, you should see her kissing her locker). Talk about that later because I'll have to make my day better.
Today is Friday and I hate Fridays because TESTS! They are the worst! Well, I guess my plans on making my day better just , there is still hope there were no aliens! FRRRRRAAAGGGGHHHH! Never mind on that thought. Well, he was still a little lucky, remember, the teachers are dumb so they give us all the "extra work" by giving us no test and no "extra work." I guess I am little lucky that I don't do to much work but I still wish I'd have a normal year. Well, it's lunch time and you know what that means, another stupid day of eating mystery meat! Maybe it might give me food poisoning even though I see them make the bad meat every Friday, hey, I don't know what it's made out of. I got a case of food poisoning like I said, I'm so smart right not really. Now I have to go to the nurse! She's horrifing! You don't I reapeat don't want to see this part so I'm not showing you! So, I go to the crazy nurse with her chainsaw for, well, I don't know. Decapitating people? I figured out, she does decapitate people! I figured out becase she tried to decapitate me!