***Author's Note:
Hey guys, it's Maddy. Before I start this BBRae oneshot, I want to thank everyone who reads my shit. I'm currently not feeling the greatest, and you guys (although there may be few), remind me that people appreciate my work. I'm really trying to focus on being positive and happy, so these next few stories are probably going to be on the cheerful side. So, as I sit here, lollipop in my mouth, looking through cracked glasses, Tove Lo playing on my laptop, I hope that this story doesn't end up being trash. If it does, I'm sorry. Thank you all so much for reading.
Love, Maddy. (CyanideRaven)
Here goes nothing.
She looked for her journal amongst the piles of books, sketches, and CDs. The books and other items would fall on the floor with plops. She didn't care, she just had to find this damned journal. That journal contained her thoughts, the ones she couldn't say out loud, even if she tried. If she let those words escape their written form and make their way into her mouth and out in the open, she could only image the hell that would become of herself. Her hands finally felt the familiar rough leather of the black cover. She released a sigh of relief as she held the small book to her chest. Raven wasn't one to lose things, so she was extremely suspicious as to why her journal was MIA for almost the entire morning. Her most primal worry was that the Beast got a hold of her journal and read it. The journal contained her written form of her strange emotions toward the Changeling through the years; from when he first came to the Titans after he left the Doom Patrol, all the way to present day.
Raven had been fighting with these feelings for years, debating what to deal. She was now 19. Beast Boy was the same age. He came to the Titans when he was 15, Raven had just turned 15 the week before he came. She had been fascinated with his condition: his green skin, his amazing abilities, and his history. Being in her awkward early teenage stage, she lurked around him instead of talking to him.
Wow, he must have thought I was a creep. She thought to herself. She sat at her desk and pulled out one of her most favorite possessions; her Titan photo album she started when she first joined the squad when she was 13. She took the thick blue book into her tiny hands and opened it across her lap. She opened the first page to find a handwritten note from Robin. (Formerly Robin, currently Nightwing.)
"To Raven: hopefully this photo album makes an enjoyable Christmas gift. Out of all the members, I feel like you could keep up with it the best. I already filled the first few pages, the rest are yours to fill as you please. Thank you so much for making this team possible, I couldn't ask for a better friend/teammate. Love, Robin."
The memory of Christmas from six years ago replayed in her head, causing the Empath to smile to herself. She flipped the page to the first sheet of photos. The first picture was of her and Robin, uniformed and smiling. This was the first time the Teen Titans (only herself, Robin, and Cyborg at the time) took down their first villain. The next picture was at a small pizza shop on the other side of Jump City; Robin and Cyborg trying to complete a two-man pizza challenge.
The last picture on the page was of the day when Starfire joined the Titans. In the picture, the tall Tamaranian was clutching Robin and Raven in one of her world-famous hugs. Under the picture, "Welcome to the Teen Titans, Koriand'r (Starfire)" was scratched into the paper in Robin's neat handwriting. Raven smiled and turned the page. The next page had some typical pictures of the team. One newspaper clipping of the team defeating Cinderblock, another picture of them gripping a handcuffed Mumbo. Pictures of Cyborg and Robin training in the basement decorated the bottom of the page. The last picture on the right hand page was of Cyborg smiling in front of the completed Titans Tower. Raven remembered back to five years ago when Cyborg finally finished the tower, a grueling and extensive process.
She flipped to the next page then took a sip of her herbal tea. The top of the left hand page had a picture of Robin and Star at a prom she drug him to a few years ago. Robin was wearing a fitting black suit; a cheesy smirk on his face. Starfire was wearing a sexy pink form fitting gown, looking gorgeous with her orange skin and scarlet hair. I wish someday I have a reason to put effort into my appearance and look that beautiful. Raven thought to herself.
The next few pictures were of Robin and Starfire dancing at said prom. Raven remembered taking some of those pictures and putting them into the silly photo album. After the prom pictures, a small selfie of Cyborg and Raven hung on the bottom of the rightmost page. The next page had to be her favorite.
Her gray fingers flipped to the next page. The photos instantly brought a smile creeping across her lips. A picture of a young Beast Boy in her current room in the Titans Tower (his current room) carrying a purple duffle bag and a suitcase was plastered on the page.
"Welcome to your new home, Garfield!" Was written underneath the picture in Raven's handwriting. She smiled at the memory. The next page was filled of various pictures from the day Beast Boy became a Titan. Pictures of him eating with Cyborg, pictures of him playing Frisbee as a dog with Starfire, pictures of him defeating Mad Mod as a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Even though these pictures were years old, at Raven's current age of 19, she could still remember the exact moments these pictures were taken. The next two pages were filled entirely of newspaper clippings of police reports and pictures of the team as a whole.
Raven skipped the next few pages to pictures from about a year ago. Raven hadn't looked in the album since she put these pictures in, because there were so many that the work seemed tedious. The pictures she looked at currently were shots of Robin and Starfire's wedding the year prior. The young couple decided to get married after three years of dating. Everyone saw it coming, and their relationship was undeniably going to end in marriage.
The wedding's color scheme was red and white. Starfire managed to force her maid of honor (Raven, of course.) into a white dress with a red lace overlay. The other bridesmaids (Jinx, Bumble Bee, and Blackfire) all wore simple short red dresses. The pictures on the first two pages consisted of Starfire getting ready, the first picture of Starfire in her gown, Starfire and Raven, Starfire and the rest of her bridal party, Starfire's engagement ring, and her flowers. Raven flipped the page. Again.
The next page had pictures of the wedding that Raven glued in, as well as pictures of the reception and all the people there. At this point, Raven remembered the book not containing anymore pictures, but yet she felt the shiny and slick photo paper under her hand on the next page.
She flipped the page to find a few candid pictures of herself from the wedding. What the fuck? She thought to herself. The first one was of her looking upwards while dancing next to Starfire. Under the picture, the word 'beautiful' was scribbled in tiny handwriting. The next picture was a copy of a picture of her and Beast Boy that she already had framed in the bedroom. She propped the book up on her desk to see the album more clearly. The last picture was of her meditating, the sun shining on her. As she was looking at the picture, a soft knock rapped on her door. "Come in!" she said as she closed the album and threw it on her desk.
"Hey Rae, what are you doing?" came a familiar voice. "Don't call me that, Beast Boy." She replied. "Were you looking… in that?" he gestured toward the album. "Uh, yeah. I haven't looked in it for a while." She said. His aura was odd, something was off about him and she felt it. "So you found it." He said. "Found what?" she questioned. He surely couldn't be talking about the photos of her.
"Listen, I put them in there so you could realize that you should value yourself like the team does… Like I do." He said looking up at her with those Emerald eyes. "Because trust me, you're beautiful enough to have an entire damn album dedicated to you, Raven." He looked at her for a split second before pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry Rae, I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been restless. I've been thinking about you, I can't stop. I know how I feel and I can't stop the beast inside. I know that sounds corny, but…" He pushed her forward so he could look at her, and kissed her urgently. It wasn't sexy, wasn't rude. It felt right. She pulled away and smiled.
She looked up at him. "Thank you." She said to him before falling into his arms again.