A/N: Can be read alone or as a follow-up to Vagina Monologues.
"Okay, I've been avoiding you." Erica's heart fell at Callie's words. Callie stood with her arms crossed near the dart board in Joe's bar. "But… when she was here, Addison said that, well she implied th-th-that we- I, that I was…" Callie paused and looked up at the ceiling, unable to meet Erica's eyes. "That, um… you and I might be lesbians."
Erica was taken aback. She had been so worried, wracking her brain trying to think of what she had done wrong, why Callie was avoiding her now, why a new boyfriend meant that their friendship was sidelined.
She laughed. That wasn't the right reaction, but her brain momentarily short circuited and spat that out as the only possible response.
Callie started laughing too. Their eyes met and they laughed together at the ridiculous, absolutely unimaginable, and quite literally laughable idea that they might be a couple.
But then the laughter stopped and their eyes still locked together.
Erica felt something shift in her chest, like a cord wrapped too tight that finally snapped and let everything spill out. Something - some unknown yearning - rose within her and she couldn't hold Callie's gaze. Her eyes slid away.
That feeling in her chest didn't go away. It sat in her rib cage through the rest of the night and was still there when she woke in the morning. Something had shifted. Something had changed. And Erica didn't know what.
She had a suspicion. All it took was a look in Callie's eyes, a glimpse of her smile, a brush of her hand as they worked over an operating table, and this strange sense of contentment bubbled up inside her.
She had a suspicion and that suspicion terrified her.
Terrified her enough to make a therapy appointment with Dr. Wyatt.
The moment that had fractured Erica's sense of balance and left her spinning out of control seemed to have little impact on the gorgeous woman whose smile had the power to stop Erica in her tracks. Callie treated it as a joke and so Erica followed her lead.
At least when they were joking around, teasing Mark about a threesome, Erica had an excuse to rest her head on Callie's shoulder, to caress her arm or hold her hand. She could bat her eyes and talk about the love that dare not speak its name, feigning casualness while her pulse quickened and her insides melted.
One night, as Erica and Callie took the elevator down to the parking garage, it stopped on the first floor and Mark stepped in.
"Ladies." He stood next to Callie, positioning her in between them.
Callie smiled and said to Erica, "He's thinking about a threesome."
"I am not," Mark defended.
"You are," Callie insisted. "He has been. Allll day." She drew out the word, accompanied by a wriggle of her hips.
Erica couldn't breathe.
"Ok, fine," Mark conceded. "I got a new leaf, not a lobotomy."
Erica looked forward to the flat wall of the elevator doors. "You couldn't handle the two of us," she deadpanned.
Mark turned a little. "Oh but I could. I won't. But I could.
Erica turned as well. She and Mark regarded each other, Callie caught in the middle. "You wouldn't find it… intimidating?"
"Not at all," Mark said earnestly. His whole body faced her now, open and honest.
Callie chuckled a little, more than a little aware of the body language as her two closest people squared off.
Erica didn't know what she was thinking. Ever since their conversation in the bar, Callie had treated the idea of them as a couple like a joke. She obviously didn't have the same feelings Erica was having. But… Callie had encouraged this line of thinking with Mark. She joked and teased and touched. So maybe she wouldn't mind if they took that teasing and touching one step further.
Erica reached out, projecting more confidence than she felt. She took Callie's face in her hand and turned her toward her. Her thumb caressed Callie's cheek as she leaned in and their lips met.
A wave crashed over her as she pressed her lips to Callie's. She felt Callie's breath catch in her throat and then Callie was kissing her back. Erica's knees weakened and she cradled Callie's face in her hands.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Erica pulled back. "See?" she said. She looked up at Mark with a cocky grin, her hands still touching Callie's face. "Too much for you." Her hands fell as she turned, stepped out of the elevator, and walked away.
Some things Erica Hahn had always known for certain. The sun rose in the east and set in the west. She would be the best in her field, no matter how much work it took to get there. The tides rose and fell. Anytime she went back to Virginia to see her parents, her dad was sure to cook something special and her mom was sure to ask when there would be grandbabies for them. She dated men.
All of these were certainties, none any less mutable than the others. The day she went home and her dad said he didn't feel like cooking would be the day the mountains crumbled. The day she gave up on being the best would be the day the planets reversed course. The day she realized she had no interest in men would be the day the sun refused to rise.
Or maybe it would be the day the sun decided not to set. Maybe it would just stay in the sky and scorch her with its unrelenting gaze until she turned to face the new day.
As Erica walked away, blood rushing through her veins and joy bursting in her heat, leaving a breathless and stunned Callie in the elevator behind her, Erica wondered if that day hadn't in fact come.